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Here's the thing (and a very similar situation happened in the last campaign I ran), that 12 year old wasn't supposed to be an important NPC. He was just meant to let some lore slip about how his older brother is involved with the big bad, but hasn't been seen for a while. But my ever wise party would not let up checking on him because they're convinced there's more to him. So...now there's going to be more to him.

I swear most of this campaign is me responding 'fuck, I guess it is now' when my players unknowingly present me with plot elements. "How did you come up with all this?" Well actually gang, YOU did.

Campaign update. I should have expected this, but it seems we are no longer a story of three misfits travelling the globe to return a lost relic. It is now the story of:

1.) The Warlock's ongoing beef with a 12 year old.

2.) An 'accidental' arson spree.

3.) A mouse revolution that has heralded the druids of the party as chosen ones.

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Campaign update. I should have expected this, but it seems we are no longer a story of three misfits travelling the globe to return a lost relic. It is now the story of:

1.) The Warlock's ongoing beef with a 12 year old.

2.) An 'accidental' arson spree.

3.) A mouse revolution that has heralded the druids of the party as chosen ones.

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Warlock: *OOC* I think you'll find dwarves are Scottish.

DM: Yeah well I can't do the accent, so he's Russia now and you're going to deal with it.

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DM: Once again you've picked the hardest route possible.

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Warlock: we've killed five cultists but we can't get rid of one social worker?

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"You don't have proficiency in dwarf tossing"

.

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"Are you really so lazy that you're using an elder God as a personal assistant."

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DM: This continues to be a normal old lady's room. I don't know how else to explain to you that she's just an average woman.

Druid: I don't know. Seems suspicious.

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Warlock: I'm on 'okay terms' with the forest.

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Warlock: I'm contractually obligated to give this old lady superpowers.

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DM: So far the people believe you are, a travelling orgy, a PI, an apprentice blacksmith who's having a very bad day, and a band named maroon 4. Am I missing anything?

Druid: We're also pigeon tamers.

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Warlock: We're a travelling band, Maroon 4.

NPC: But there are three of you.

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Druid: Do the birds not speak the same language?

DM: Well it's very regional, you see.

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Luckily at least one player is keeping very detailed notes and shares them in our group chat at the end of each session

"His notes just say 'trees?'"

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"His notes just say 'trees?'"

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Me trying to keep my party on the quest line (it is not working)

fuuuuck that is my circus. are those…? yep… those are my monkeys….. goddammit.

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Warlock: Bad things will happen if you don't start answering our questions.

Blacksmith: You haven't actually asked any questions.

Warlock...okay good point.