corrupted-curls

[corrupted-curls]

29.8.22

Dear Diary,

Its been very hard suddenly for me randomly I don't know why. I hope it gets better I knoe this is all short term but it really hurts me rn. I hope I'll be able to get q grip soon and hopefully be better.

[corrupted-curls]

Feeling like this fr

Its been feeling so lonely lately like no one wants to listen to me

[corrupted-curls]

9:08 pm

I adore it when my friends leave me on read on the group chat 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

[corrupted-curls]

11:39 pm

Theres so much I wanna say I wanna write it all in my diary rn.

[corrupted-curls]

Feeling rather mentally ill

[corrupted-curls]

sorry my wife said i can't come to dashcon

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Romantising this one 🥰😍

[corrupted-curls]

2:51 pm

I did so bad on my maths test i legit got like 0 marks im so sad like i went to the toilet to make myself feel better but like idk I'm so stupid i need to get smarter babes xx

Ok mental break down over back to art class xx

[corrupted-curls]

22-11-21

Dear Diary,

I cba to write in my actual paper diary and me and L were talking about having tumblr diaries in art today so I thought it would be rather funny to do an update on here.

Me and E are more back to normal however hes really mentally ill rn and its just not good. Like idk I think he's in denial but he seems to have really bad dissociation episodes and it just seems awful so often- yet he still pretends its not such a big deal.

Im scared he'll hurt himself or soemthing. He also shaved his head and hes now completely bald and I've found it hilarious but at the same time like yikes mentally ill. :/

Hes been getting quite the reaction because of this and idk its quite entertaining.

I do hope hes oki tho he doesn't seem too good.

♡♡♡

[corrupted-curls]

Fyp really doing this on purpose rn 😐

[corrupted-curls]

10:11 am

I got taken out of lesson because I was crying sm lol. My mums still in hospital and me and E are still on a break.

[corrupted-curls]

Thought this would be funny lol

[corrupted-curls]

9:18 pm

I really wish he cared enough to message me it just feels so empty without him i feel so lost like i have no one now

7:07 pm

I just found out my mums in the hospital and getting an emergency operation

[corrupted-curls]

7:07 pm

I just found out my mums in the hospital and getting an emergency operation

[corrupted-curls]

7:44 pm

The feminine urge to shag one of his friends

[corrupted-curls]

14-11-21

Dear Diary,

Today at like 1 2 am E asked to yo on a break from our relationship. I've cried a bit but now I'm back to feeling numb. Its quite comforting not feeling anything again but ik itll he really hard when im going to sleep tonight so I'm hoping we can still text then.

Im scared hell loose interest all togther rn and just this will be the end but he did tell me he loved me last night whilst going on the break.

It feels as if we have gone back to just shagging and we are just besties; which is fine just im scared hell just not even want to be besties anymore and leave eventually. Its really scary rn.

C is keeping me company tho- it makes me feel alot more at peace which feels so nice, but sometimes she'll say something like that hits a bit too hard and it just pain.

Im nervous that Z will do something to sabotage my relationship. She's really nice but when it comes down to it she can be quite selfish and im afraid that she'll try and do something funky. I said to E that he can go a bit crazy during the break as in talk to other people however I'm using this more as a test than anything to see if he will do it or if any of my friends will do anything.

Im just scared we'll have to break up and itll be painful but idk im quite numb rn im gonna try and focus on myself more.

He texted me a good morning text today so its not that bad just scared this turn into something worse and hell start to like me less.

[corrupted-curls]

Just. For the record, for anyone worried after seeing that post; Traumadumping on the first day of therapy is like. A good therapist’s dream. Like they WANT you to spill out your problems so they can help you work through them. When you only have an hour with someone once a month it is a Godsend for them to be able to just. Say whats hurting them right off the bat. The biggest problem I had at therapy was I became so conditioned to not talk about my issues that nothing was able to get done. So please, ‘traumadump’ to your therapist. Its what they’re paid for. They are trained to decompress, you don’t have to worry about them.