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cosmicbrowniebox · 3 months ago

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spinoff episode 1: i wonder why.

wc 1163

pairings: najf!yn x kenma kozume (third years)

warnings: kinda angst? alot of it is assuming and overthinking on yn part but yeah hope u guys enjoy this its one of my first fics after being on hiatus

main story masterlist

Staring at him felt weird, it always had been after someone asked Kenma if the two of us had been dating one of us always had been quick to say “oh no were just friends nothing is going on between us” even though i just kept suppressing the feelings i had deep down inside for him letting them gnaw at my chest for years giving up and then trying again ever since the first day we had met.

I remember the first time someone asked us that. It had been Nekomata-sensei who had asked us in a passing comment a few months after we started getting close in our first year, “yaku-chan I wonder if you and Kenma-kun are dating.” he had asked me while I was filling up water bottles on one of the team's breaks it had caught me off guard for a moment i had felt my cheeks get all red “n-no sensei! We aren't together” i had told him earning me a smile in my direction from nekomata-sensei

I remember his words like it was always around in the back of my mind, even now in our third year of high school, all the third years gone. Now we had been the seniors helping mentor our underclassmen “Oh Kenma-kun and i aren't dating Haiba-kun” i said what felt like was the hundredth time reiterating it for him that we hadn't been dating even though we always hung around each other we always denied it because there was no way he would like someone he never seemed like the type.

I turned my head to the side and spotted Kenma walking over to us with his water bottle in hand. “Do you need it refilled?” I asked, “Yes, if you could,” he told me with an appreciative look as he handed it to me.

With my back turned as I filled his water, listening to the sounds of sharp hits of balls against the floor and the wind breezing past us i felt the hairs on the back of my neck tingle at the sensation of the air hitting the back of my neck that felt nice most of the team had decided to go sit outside while on their break from practice since it was a sunny day

“What was Lev asking you?” Kenma asked me with a curious look as he watched the giant-looking second-year walk back over to where most of the team had been sitting so he could talk to some of the first years and the new first-year manager I had been mentoring so she could take over once we third years leave she's a sweet girl i feel like she’ll do good for the team since the other first years get along with her well and so do the second years as well as sensei

“He was asking if we were dating again,” I answered, twisting the lid of his bottle shut so nothing would spill kenma gave a confused look i don't think he ever understood why people always asked us if we were dating he had to have thought of us as just friends i mean it was obvious right? He probably had to think of me as like his friend's younger sister, so I was off-limits or something, knowing how morisuke was.

“Why do they always ask can't we just be friends?” he said to me with an annoyed huff it made my heart ache in a way id never felt before i had heard that sentence so many times since becoming kenma’s friend but now it felt different like he was rejecting me even though it wasn't intentional it still felt like a gut punch to me like he was unintentionally saying he wouldn't ever want to think of me that way

“Yeah, it's always so awkward when people question us about it like they think we're hiding something,” I responded, turning my back to him as I started to fill up more water bottles that I had in a little holder beside me

“I wonder why they think that I mean people never accuse Yachi-chan and Hinata-kun of dating even tho they are so close,” I pointed out almost seeming absentmindedly as the water gushed into the bottle

“I dunno maybe they're just looking for gossip because they're bored,” he answered, seeming almost nonchalant as he took a drink out of his water It was a rare sight to see him not glued to his PSP on breaks “it's always for gossip” i answered back screwing on the cap of the bottle tight “do you wanna come over tonight i got this new game i think you would like it's like the one we used to play ages ago i think it's by the same company” he asked me rambling on about it for a moment before stopping

“If you don't wanna, I get it, you probably have stuff,” he added. I nearly wanted to laugh because I had known all my plans for this weekend where to sit in my room since I wasn't able to visit Yachi-chan and see all of our friends at Karasuno “i'd love to come over it sounds like it'll be a lot of fun i can bring snacks if you want?” i told him getting a nod in return it was always nice when he had the little bouts of talking he did when we had breaks because it always seemed like a bit of opening to learn more and more about him.

Kenma Kozume was like a long story to me, a story I never wanted to shut, a story I would keep close to my chest as long as I could because of how perfect he had always been to me, like a painting no person would dream of parting with at an auction

“That would be nice,” he responded with a slight nod as he spoke, “I'll bring over those little apple bites you always like when I make them,” I added, knowing he had always appreciated when i did little things like that well, I didn't know more assumed because he always ate them right up when we took breaks from our gaming sessions

“Did I tell you in that one Sims world we made when you came over, the one day our characters got new pets I ended up naming the cat your sim got Apple, and I named my sim’s dog chicken” i told him i always gave him the little updates on our sim world since we made it on my computer instead of his and it was fun telling him everything our characters would do

We had let them get married in our Sims world since we thought it would be funny having them live together, since Kenma and I had always been hanging around each other or arguing like a old married couple

It was always just us. Just how I liked it.

#kenma x you #kenma x fem reader #fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #kozume kenma #kenma smau #kenma x reader #kenma #kenma kozume #kenma x y/n #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fic #my fics #kozume kenma x reader #not a lot just forever #fanfic #writers on tumblr

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cosmicbrowniebox · 4 months ago

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The number you have dialed...

Synopsis: After Geto’s death, Gojo starts calling his number more than he’d ever admit. He doesn’t expect an answer, of course not. That would be ridiculous. It’s just a habit now, leaving messages that no one will ever hear, filling the silence with things he never got to say- anger, regret, maybe even love. But one night, instead of the usual voicemail beep, someone picks up.

Warnings: a little cursing is used, unresolved feelings, angst, this is just pure angst there is no happy Gojo. mentions of death, this is lowk not the most accurate but bare with me

Featuring: Gojo, Geto

April 5th

Gojo stared at his phone, thumb hovering over the familiar contact. He doesn't know why he's still doing this, why he even bothers. It's been months, maybe longer, since he last heard Geto's voice, but still, every night he comes back to this. One ring, two. Voicemail. Always. A part of him knows its ridiculous. Another part wonders if maybe, just maybe, this time it will be different.

"Fuck it," he muttered, pressing the dial button without thinking. Maybe it was exhaustion, or maybe the grief that still clung to him like a second skin, but whatever it was, it was there, gnawing at him. The phone rang, but no one picked up. Another ring. Still nothing. The third ring felt longer, his breath caught in his chest. Maybe this time, he thought. Maybe this time, he would answer

"You've reached Suguru Geto. I'm not available right now, but leave a message and I'll get right back to you."

Gojo waited for the beep, his finger hovering over the phone. He hated waiting for it. Hated how it reminded him it would never be Geto picking up again.

"Hey, Geto, It's me...again." He let out a breath, the kind that came from somewhere deep inside. For all his power, for being the strongest sorcerer alive, in this moment, he sure felt like the weakest.

"I don't know why I'm calling again, honestly...probably just bored. Or maybe I'm just used to hearing your voice on the other end, y'know?" A humourless chuckle escaped him, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Thing's are..I guess not great. I know if you were still here, you'd say something about me not pulling my weight or being too reckless, but...that's all I got, really." He paused, the silence too heavy, like he's waiting for Geto to respond, as if it might happen.

"Anway," Gojo says, his voice thick with something heavier than he wants to admit. "I guess I'll hang up. Don't keep me waiting too long, old friend." He pauses, swallowing as if the words are lodged in his throat. "I can't...I can't keep doing this. I-I don't know what to do anymore."

Another pause, longer this time.

"Goodbye, Suguru."

April 12th

Gojo had been busy all day, though busy might not be the right word. he'd been distracted, his thoughts slipping back to the one person he couldn't seem to shake off. The day had slipped away in a haze, and now he found himself sitting across from Shoko at a small coffee shop. They'd decided to catch up, like they used to do back in the day, but Gojo's mind was elsewhere.

As they sipped their drinks, his eyes caught someone across the room. For a moment, his heart stopped. The person looked just like Geto, actually he looked exactly like him. The hair, the posture, the same damn aura. It was like he was staring at a ghost, a reflection of everything he'd lost.

"Shoko," Gojo's voice was barely a whisper, but it shook with urgency. "I can't be going insane. That was Geto! The body, the hair, everything." His eyes were wide, scanning the room again, but the figure had already disappeared.

Shoko looked at him, her gaze unreadable, but Gojo knew what she was thinking. He's lost it

"Saturo, maybe it's the coffee messing with your brain," she said, offering him an exhausted sigh as they continued walking down the street. She was trying to be gentle, but Gojo could hear the doubt in her tone.

"No," he replied, his voice tight. "it wasn't the coffee, it was him, it was Geto."

Shoko didn't respond right away. She just walked beside him, the silence heavy. Eventually, she spoke again, softer this time. "I know you loved him, I did too, but it's time to let him go."

Gojo felt like she'd slapped him. His chest tightened, and his breath hitched. Let him go? How was he supposed to do that? He could barely let himself go, let alone Geto.

He looked at her, his heart breaking all over again. "No," he said quietly, more to himself than to her. "I can't, I won't."

Shoko didn't argue. She just gave him a sympathetic look, one that said everything she couldn't express in words.

"Have a lovely evening, Shoko," Gojo finally said, his voice strained as he turned to leave. "Text me when you get home."

With that, he walked away, the weight of the world pressing down on him once more.

April 13th

Gojo stared at his phone, his finger hovering over the dial button again. Did he really want to call? Especially after seeing someone who looked just like Geto yesterday? Was he really losing it? This wasn't like him. He shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be holding onto something that was already gone.

But, despite all of that, he couldn't stop himself. He picked up his phone, slumping into his bed, the familiar weight of his grief sinking in as he pressed the dial button.

The phone rang, and he waited, feeling a knot form in his stomach. One ring. Nothing. Two rings. Nothing. And then the same automated voice, the one that never failed to make his heart skip

"You've reached Suguru Geto. I'm not available right now, but leave a message and I'll get right back to you."

Gojo sighed, his chest tightening. He let the silence stretch, taking a second to let the words settle in, before he finally heard the beep.

He stared at the wall, unwilling to look at the phone, unwilling to face how weak this made him feel. "Hey, Suguru," he muttered quietly, like speaking too loudly might shatter something fragile inside him. "I saw someone who looked like you yesterday. Same hair, same crappy posture from when we were teens"

He let out a small, hollow laugh, but it didn't feel real. It felt empty, forced. "it really fucked with. Shoko thought I was insane, but she didn't see it. She didn't see his that stupid fucking smile or-"

Gojo stopped. His voice faltered, the weight of his words crashing over him. He went quiet, the phone held loosely in his hand as the seconds dragged on, the silence growing heavier than he could bear.

"Fuck," he whispered, almost to himself. His grip tightened around the phone, his breathing shallow. "Why the hell did you leave me, Geto? Why the hell did you have to go?"

His throat burned as the if the words were clawing their way out, but they weren't enough. Nothing ever felt enough anymore. He closed his eyes, his mind flooded with memories of Geto's smile, his laughter, the arguments, the quiet moments they had shared. All of it. Gone.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do without you," Gojo mumbled, voice small, as if speaking too loudly would make the truth more real. "I don't know how to fix this. I'm not.. I'm not supposed to be here without you. You were supposed to be here, and now it's just me, alone, trying to figure out what the fuck to do next."

The words came faster now, rushed, as if he couldn't hold them in any longer. "I don't even know what I'm doing, Suguru. I don't know how to live with this, without you. without your voice, your damn annoying smile, your stupid opinions that I fucking hated, but somehow..I needed."

Gojo let out a long, shaky breath. His eyes burned, and he wiped at his face, trying to keep it together, but the tears were there, threatening to spill.

"I keep seeing you everywhere. I keep hearing your voice in my head, like you're still here. And maybe that's why I keep calling," he said, his voice breaking. "maybe I just don't want to let you go. I don't want to believe you're gone, Suguru."

April 29th

Gojo had been avoiding it for days, but now, in the quiet of his room, the weight of everything felt too much to ignore. His hands trembled as he stared at the phone in front of him. He shouldn't do this. He knew he shouldn't—he'd been here before, staring at the screen, hearing the cold, robotic voicemail.

But..today felt different. Maybe it was the emptiness that still gnawed at him from the moment he'd seen that bastard lookalike. Maybe it was the lingering ache that he couldn't shake, no matter how hard he tried to push it down.

"Y'know what, fuck it." he said, pressing the number that he always found himself calling.

The phone rang. Once. Twice. The hope that it might be Geto on the other end twisted in his stomach like a sick joke. Maybe today...Maybe he'll pick up today.

A voice suddenly crackled through the speaker.

"Hello?"

Gojo's heart stopped, then started racing again. He froze.

is it really you?

"Suguru?" Gojo's voice was shaky, almost hopeful. "Is that you? It's me Satoru. I—I...I need to hear you, just once more."

For a second, there was nothing. Just that heavy silence Gojo always hated, his grip on the phone tight, not wanting to let it go. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, the hope rising like a wave he was ready to ride.

But then, the voice on the other end spoke again, and it wasn't right.

"Satoru?" The voice came, smooth but cold, almost too calm. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?"

Gojo's heart skipped a beat, then stuttered as the words processed. That's not him, That's not Suguru's voice

He felt a chill run down his spine. His hands trembled as he pressed the phone tighter against his ear. The voice was too distant, too unfamiliar. It wasn't the soft, warm tone he'd known for years. It wasn't the way Geto would say his name, like it was a secret between the two of them.

"Suguru," Gojo said, forcing himself to sound confident, but there was a tremor in his voice now. "Stop messing around, it's me. Satoru. Why aren't you—"

Kenjaku's voice cut through the line again, and it wasn't the voice Gojo remembered. It wasn't full of affection or teasing. It was flat, it was distant.

"Gojo Satoru," Kenjaku said, and the coldness in his voice sent a wave of nausea through Gojo's stomach. "You've been holding onto him for too long. He's gone, you know."

Gojo froze. His pulse shot through his head like a blaring alarm. His grip on the phone slackened slightly, his mind racing to catch up, but the truth was already starting to sink in. He could feel his body tense, the weight of realization pressing on him like a thousand pounds.

"W-what?" Gojo stammered, trying to force out a laugh, but it came out as a broken cough. His head spun, his heart pounding in his chest. "No, no this is some joke right.?"

There was no answer, there was nothing.

Kenjaku's voice was the last thing he heard before the line went dead.

Authours note!!!

Hii! So, just a little heads-up—I definitely tweaked Gojo’s personality a bit for this fic. I didn’t want him to be all nonchalant and carefree like he usually is. I wanted to dig deeper and show a side of him that’s more raw and vulnerable. It’s not super accurate to the anime or manga, but hey, that’s the beauty of fanfic, right? We get to bend things a little to hit right in the feels. And let’s be real, it’s angst, it’s sad, it’s Geto x Gojo, so I think we deserve a little cheer for the pain you will read..!

and to the lovely @cafekitsune for the dividers !!

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