crow-quilll

[crow-quilll]

d'you think you'll complete the next chapter before s3? Just asking btw, take your time :)

I WANTED TO. So badly, I wanted to finish this fic before the new season came out. However, I sorely overestimated my own abilities and underestimated adulthood. 2 jobs, a new kitten (love of my life named Poe), and now i've got the FLU (which im pretty sure is some sort of divine punishment or cosmic joke). So unfortunately I think it'll be a bit before the next chapter of NS is out.

Thank you for checking in, thank you for your patience, and pray for me

[crow-quilll]

Hello all.

Chapter 14 of Nobody's Soldier, "Holding On | Letting Go," on AO3 is officially up.

Please, do enjoy :))

[crow-quilll]

YAYAYAY CROW I’M SO EXCITED FOR CH14 I LOVE YOU… Haven’t been this invested in a fic EVER your writing is IMMACULATE

THANK YOU ANON!! Im so glad you're invested, because Chapter 14 will be out tonight :))

Can't give a specific time, we all know that I'll post at some random time, but it's coming. Re-read some chapters if you need to, my friends, it's happening. I'll post once it is uploaded

[crow-quilll]

'Nobody's Soldier' Chapter 14 teaser

Hello all. Miss me? :)

New chapter should be out in the next day or two - hard to tell. Im working a couple jobs, which is annoying, so my time to write is lessened. But I'm almost done: 4,000 words to go! Until then, enjoy this little taste tester:

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“What did you expect me to do? Let you run this place into the ground with your obsession for that self-righteous fool?”

“Funny, you think you’re in control,” In-ho retaliates instantly into his Officer's mask, lips curling back, “but I made this place what it is. You are a cog in the machine I built. You are a nobody, and if you think I’m going to –”

A sharp and sudden crack splits through the air. For a moment, In-ho doesn’t even realize it’s for him.

And then he feels the bullet hit.

A brutal, piercing punch to the shoulder as lead suddenly rips through his muscle and tendon. In-ho lets out a bark of pain and staggers back, one hand immediately going to his left shoulder as he doubles over. A pain - a pain he’s felt before - swells in his shoulder like a rod of hot steel was impaled through his flesh. Hot blood seeps between his fingers faster than he can stop it, just like it had before in the same exact spot.

In-ho looks up, blinking through the blur of it all to look at his officer. The sour stench of gunpowder burns in his nostrils from the smoking gun in his underling’s hand.

“You don’t get to talk like you still run this place,” The Officer says with an admittedly frightening amount of calm in his tone, “It’s over. The only reason you’re still around is because the VIPs liked your … performance with 456."

In-ho’s glare deepens, and a ragged snarl comes from him as his lips twitch into a furious smile, “Struck a nerve, did I?”

“Say another word and the next one will go through your skull.” 

“You won’t,” In-ho hisses through a growl of pain, pressing his hand against the bullet wound harder, “the VIPs have given you orders to keep me alive, and we both know that the only thing you’re good for is following orders.”

The Officer clicks his tongue, visibly pausing to bite back his anger before he says, “The VIPs told me to keep Number 001 alive. They didn’t tell me to make sure he was unharmed.”

The threat prickles in In-ho’s ears uncomfortably. In the Officer’s voice, In-ho can hear the deliberate ring of rage that has been repressed for far too long. His underling can finally say what he’s always wanted to say.

“So, get fucking moving before I shoot your fingers off one by one.”

In-ho stays frozen in place, every cell in his body aching to rip the man across from him into dozens of bloody pieces. His silence is bristling with dangerous contempt. He’s not supposed to be helpless, he made a vow to never be helpless again. 

This is what Gi-hun must feel when In-ho orders him to do something. He must feel this itch to disobey, this unnamed and foolish need to prove that he has the freedom to make a decision.

None of this should ever have happened. How the hell did this happen? How did he let this happen?

It’s not fair. He’s given years of his life to this facility and its games. He’s bled himself dry to keep this place afloat in Oh Il-nam’s absence. He made sure Il-nam’s legacy lived on. He made sure these games would continue.

And - what, the VIPs want him gone? They’d rather watch ‘Young-il’ scramble to treat Gi-hun, to care for him, to kiss him? Is that it? Did they find that more entertaining?

Why do they want him gone? Why do they want ‘Young-il’ instead?

Why?

In-ho, unlike Gi-hun, knows when the game is stacked against him. He knows when to keep the cards close to his chest, but also when to show his hand and make a big move.

And now is not the time for small, futile resistance. 

In-ho swallows back the wrath that bites at his insides and rings in his bones. He finally feels his stubborn hold on the system he perfected relent, knowing that he’s got nothing to hold on with. No support, no army, nothing. The VIPs think he’s either off of the island, or just another soldier to play with. 

Funnily enough, his only ally now is Gi-hun.

This entire situation has only added to the long list of reasons why he needs Gi-hun. Now he needs his little soldier to get back on his feet and stage another revolt - only this time, In-ho will be working with him completely. At least up until the point where they take back control, just so he can turn around and re-establish power over the games and Gi-hun himself. 

He’s not sure how or when it happened. But all of a sudden, Gi-hun was everything to him: he is the air that In-ho breathes, the hunger in his gut, the thirst on his tongue, the fever that festers beneath his skin, the story he can’t stop reading, the prayer he can’t stop whispering.

Oh, In-ho needs Gi-hun more than anything. And if the Officer wants to take that away from him, there will be hell to pay. Hell..

After what feels like minutes of tense silence, a low, enraged snicker comes from In-ho. His eyes meet the mask that his Officer wears, imagining the expression of the other man despite the fact that he cannot see it.

“You want to play ringleader for a little while?” In-ho spits, refusing to mask the hatred in his face, “Fine, let’s play.”

The Officer lets out another sigh of irritation. He loads a live round into the handgun, finger resting on the trigger.

“Let’s go,” The Officer urges his former boss, “I’ve got orders to put on a show, and you are not wasting anymore of my goddamn time.”

[crow-quilll]

Monday mood.

[crow-quilll]

EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE THIS

This is the coolest and most amazing thing - someone made an aNIMATIC FOR ONE OF MY FICS. Hermes my friend I could kiss you.

More coherent breakdown of this animatic coming at some point - i need to go through this beautiful movie piece by piece

Music video based on @crow-quilll's fic Nobody's Soldier! Top 457 fic of all time fr. Mind the trigger warnings though!!! I hope you enjoy!

[crow-quilll]

Where are you?? LIVE THE TRAILER HAS COME LIVE LIVE

I KNOW I SAW. I SAW IT ALL. I SAW.

And to everyone who asked me my thoughts on the teaser for season 3 and everything, I will tell you all exactly what I think:

We are so back.

Chapter 14 of Nobody's Soldier coming soon. I'm gonna break your heart before season 3 does.

:))

[crow-quilll]

brennan lee mulligan decided to say 'one day, all your friends will find someone who they love more than you' on a random dnd live session while playing a stupid fucking puppet thing with a stupid fucking accent, and altered the wiring of my brain in horrific ways that can never be undone

[crow-quilll]

List of Fandoms for Prompts/Requests <3

For any of my hurt/comfort and whump loving freaks (love you all, I'm one too), here are some characters/fandoms that I'd be happy to write out scenarios based on requests you have!

Gi-hun / In-ho (Squid Game)

Connor (Detroit: Become Human)

Cal Kestis (Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order and Survivor)

Sherlock

Dimension 20

Doctor Who (Tenth and Eleventh)

Crowley and Aziraphale (Good Omens)

Henry and Hans Capon (Kingdom Come Deliverance II)

Any other interests, send me an ask and I can give it a shot if I feel competent with the fandom!

Love you all, stay safe, stay hurting and comforting <3

[crow-quilll]

LOVE LLOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

I take full responsibility for asking for this wonderfully sad and amazing whump fanart. What can I say? Blood looks good on Gi-hun. BUT TEARS DON'T. SAD, VERY SAD. SOMEONE SAVE HIM BECAUSE IT SURE AS HELL WON'T BE ME.

I don't regret a thing. <3

Thank you so much for this lovely piece of artwork UGH made my whole week I love you

Okay dropping some Gi-hun whump and leaving🫰(aka going to bed lol) @crow-quilll asked for Gi-hun whump so I hope this isn't too bad. 😆 Definitely it's something inspired by your fic... iykyk

[crow-quilll]

Hiiii!!! How are you doing these days? It's been awhile ^^

Hello -- both to you and to the many others who have sent asks my way! Thank you all for checking in, very much appreciated! I am sorry I have been quiet on here and AO3, university is - as you know - very busy this time of year. But the good news is that my semester is almost finished: 3 more papers and 1 exam left. I doubt I'll be able to finish the next chapter before my semester ends. My last day is on April 14.

HOWEVER! I do want to send you guys a little teaser of the next chapter. Expect that appetizer tomorrow or monday :))

Thank you all for the wonderful support and patience, hope you are all safe and sane through exam season. Love you guys, hang in there, and me and a severely-wounded Gi-hun will talk to you soon <33

[crow-quilll]

hi Crow (: sorry I know you must get a million of these asks! but can we expect a Nobody’s Soldier update at all soon? zero pressure, just curious! & hope life’s treating you ok! 💟

Hello, both to you anon as well as the others who have sent me messages here asking how I'm doing. I do wish I had a better answer for all of you, but the truth is that I am struggling - the details of which I will not bore you with.

Thank you all for your well wishes and kind messages, I assure you that I am alright. I think I'm about 4,000 words into the next chapter. This week is going to be a particularly awful one so I won't be able to get much writing done. I hope to have a chapter out next week, but we'll have to see.

Thank you all for your concern, support, and patience. Love you guys, stay safe, stay sane. <333

^^ shimmy the pain away

[crow-quilll]

Please don’t overwork yourself for our sake. We aren’t going anywhere, take your time and enjoy what you write. Don’t pressure yourself into making your writing a chore - I did that when I published a fic and the burnout is a killer. Your wellbeing is more important than weekly updates, I can assure you all of us in the audience would rather our author be healthy than have frequent updates with a miserable poster. Good luck with your studies and I look forward to reading what you create, however far in the future that may be. <3

You guys are genuinely so sweet, thank you so much for this. I know exactly what you mean - fic burnout is brutal. I'm glad I haven't reached that with Nobody's Soldier, and I will make sure I don't because truly this fic has become too important to me to abandon it.

Thank you for the well wishes, anon! And thank you for being so patient. There is an intrinsic worry with writing fanfic that your readers will lose interest if your updating slows down - so I am so relieved to see that isn't the case with many of you.

^^ this is how loved you guys make me feel

[crow-quilll]

how are you??

Hello anon!! Thank you for asking, you're so sweet <3

Truth is, I've been better. I'm very sorry to say that I'm only about 2,000 words into Chapter 14 for Nobody's Soldier - unfortunately, it takes everything I have in me to get out of bed and get university work done every day. I have some big projects due within the next couple days, next week should be slower so I hope to have the energy to get the chapter done and out for all of you to read.

I have not abandoned the fic - I will not abandon the fic. We will have our ending. It's just going to take me more time.

Thank you all for your patience. Stay safe, stay sane. I will keep you updated on the progress of the chapter <333

[crow-quilll]

crow, I am starving, when is the next chapter coming out? No pressure ofc! I just wanna know when to expect it! I love your work so much!!

Hello!! Thank you so much, and thank you for reading and enjoying so far! The next update is gonna be a bit slower than usual. This week I've got a lot of research and small papers to hand in, and the next couple weeks I've got 3 20-page history research papers due. SO updates are gonna be a bit slower - BUT they will come, I promise. This story will be finished, and I will keep all of you in the loop.

As for Chapter 14, I am aiming for a Friday/Saturday upload

Please bear with me, and thank you all for your patience and support <33

^^ me when I realize I have to prioritize university over fanfic

[crow-quilll]

OMG - You put Dogdays in the Spotify!

☂️ It's perfect because in the 2010s in Britian on the CBBC (its like the british version of the American CBS kids) they would play this song during the summer holiday when they showed the adverts (this was wayyy before streaming) so now whenever I hear this song I'm transported to my childhood summer - a type of freedom none of us will get to experience again. Which links to Squidgames because they try and recreate a sense of childhood with all the childish games.

Even without all that, the song alone is just French kiss, every time I listen to it, I feel both a sense of relief, like a weight has been lifted, but also a semse of drive like im running towards a new beginning but also, I feel like I'm running away from something, like a dark past.

why did you pick it? ☂️

HELLO STORMY! Im gonna call you stormy from here on out, I think it is fitting.

I had no idea that song had such significance! Thank you for letting me know, that's really awesome. We've got a few songs like that here in Canada, but Dog days isn't one of them. I love the part you said at the end - and that is precisely the reason I added that song to the playlist. Let's dig in:

I think this song relates so perfectly to Gi-hun based on the chorus. Specifically, the repetition of "run": "run fast for your mother / run fast for your father / run for your children, for your sisters and brothers." To me, this relates to Gi-hun's continued fight against the Front Man and his system. He fights for his family, for his friends, for everybody. The quick repetition of the word "run" also relates to his relentless race against In-ho and the system, his never-ending battle. It represents the pace that he needs to keep up, but also the fear of falling behind. No matter what, he has to keep running, keep fighting.

Also the line "leave all your love and your longing behind / you can't carry it with you if you want to survive." UGH NEED I EVEN SAY GI-HUN??? In the perspective of the fic (and season 2), Gi-hun has pushed away all affection and care (both from In-ho and from Jung-bae). He cannot bear to be comforted or to feel anything remotely positive because the war he has to win is so incredibly important. So, he pushes down every feeling, every desire, everything, because nothing matters except ending the games and fighting the system that took so much from him.

ANYWAYS that is how I think the fic relates to this song! Quite a dreary connection now that I think about it, I like your reading of the song better haha!

[crow-quilll]

im only on chapter six of nobody’s soldier and i am so uneasy about the ending. i know whatever you do will be great but in my head i hope that the ending will be gihun murdering inho in cold blood ☺️☺️☺️ as a treat. i want to hug and protect gihun but if he gets a chance he deserves to do that to this monster.

Hehe thank you for reading!! So glad you've been enjoying it so far! I won't spoil the ending obviously, I'll let you all suffer for a while longer ;))