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[crownedaxo]

Dream SMP Frozen AU part 2!! we finally have antagonists and slimy snowman! ALSO I wrote a short fanfic for tnt duo dance scene! so... If you're maybe interested.... here's the link (you can look at fic tags under the cut)

[crownedaxo]

I like that ghosts just bond to sheep on dsmp

[crownedaxo]

For some reason potatoes seemed to grow very well in this place.

Ranboo hadn’t expected them to, given the dry soil and the constant heat. But people always said potatoes were hardy, and that they could survive anywhere. When he arrived, Ranboo had some to spare - he couldn’t remember where he got them, what farm they came from - so he thought it was worth a try. Michael liked the Nether food. Ranboo’s endermen genes meant he could eat almost anything in a pinch. But they needed a dependable food source.

The potatoes helped a lot and they reminded them both of home, in that painful way a lot of memories festered. Like if holding them too tight could cut straight to his bones, but letting them go felt more painful still.

Sometimes he would read his book just because he didn’t want to forget how much it hurt.

Yet the potatoes grew, despite the lack of water. The vines crept up the side of the cabin and these days Ranboo had to cull them because they were getting out of hand. Like they were competing with some invisible foe in how abundant they could grow. Michael helped him, because he was a good kid. And when a piglin patrol passed by, Ranboo would give them some of his harvest because it felt right.

He was happy.

Hoglins strayed away from their little house. Ranboo didn’t have to be worried about Michael when he went outside to play or look for chickens. They would never go hungry. They slept soundly. They felt safe.

The ground was alive with fire and soaked with blood.

And Ranboo could feel the phantom touch of Technoblade putting his hand on the back of his neck affectionately, the heat of a burning mansion on his cheeks.

“Divine protection,” he had said, “is not something you notice in grand gestures. It’s always those little things that show you when somebody is watchin’ over you.” The totem gleamed in his hand.

“Thank you,” Ranboo said now, hands stained with Netherrack and basket full of potatoes.

He hoped one day Techno would visit instead of only sending his patron around, and then Ranboo could thank him in person. But until that happened, he would make the recipes that his mentor had taught him.

And they too tasted like home.

(OR: headcanon that bc the Nether is the Blood God’s domain, it keeps an eye on Ranboo and Michael on Techno’s request and keeps them safe. That’s why the potatoes grow so well)

[crownedaxo]

the one place in the dream smp that will NEVER fail to give me the chills is pogtopia

don't get me wrong, logsted is eerie enough, with the buildings blown up and the one-block tower; but that is largely because we know of the horrors that happened there, of what ctommy had to go through. without the context, it might pass off as some sort of relic, like ruins from the past.

pogtopia instead is just unsettling on its own: starting from the fact that it was build in a cave, hidden from the main hub so that others couldn't find it. then you get to the decorations and the things built by its inhabitants: the small rooms that would make most claustrophobic, the precarious stairs and bridges (for lack of better wording lol) that ran across the place, the hastily built pit where cbedrock bros fought (which, for all we know, could still have some remnants from that fight in-universe).

then you have the dim lighting, the buttons all around and the multiple passageways that ctommy and the others created to travel from one place to another: all of this already made it somewhat unsettling when the characters still lived there, but now that it's been abandoned for so long pogtopia has become downright ominous.

time has only turned that cave more frightening, and even if a newcomer didn't know the history behind it, they would 100% get the feeling that something is clearly wrong with that place.

[crownedaxo]

CRANBOOTOBER PROMPT LIST

Each of the main prompts are placed to match c!Ranboo's story chronologically, if any of them doesn't give you enough inspiration you can use one of the wildcard prompts as replacement!

It's not necessary to do every day! Just whichever feels right/inspires you.

Use the #cranbootober tag if you're gonna use this prompt list! I'll try reblog any entries ^_^

ANY FORMS OF ART WELCOME

[crownedaxo]

If found, please return to Ranboo B.

If read, please don’t make fun of me.

Important Points about Tubbo Underscore (president):

- Wears suit most of time - gold on shoulders. Eyes are this nice grey-brown-green but don’t say that. Scars - avoid drawing attention to them or touching them. They still hurt I think.

- Likes ginger snaps best. He’s a freak.

- His hair sticks out at the sides. That’s just how he is. DON’T TELL HIM! HE’LL KILL YOU.

- Nervous about people, easier to talk about work. Signs of nervousness - fiddles with tie, keeps his voice flat, avoids talking in first person. If his face goes blank, try to get him out of whatever conversation he’s in. It’s always bad news.

- Keep your voice down when you’re in public with him please! Other people exist! It’s not just you and him!

- His mug is the one with painted flowers. Make him another so he can put it in the Whitehouse. Green colour scheme (to suit desk?)?

- No talking about President Schlatt. P. Wilbur is okay but only lighthearted. If his face goes blank, it means you should SHUT UP!!!

- He’ll put his hand out like he wants you to hold it. Sometimes he doesn’t notice when he does it, so ASK FIRST! Don’t scare him please.

- Don’t touch the photocopier.

- He gets scared that he says too much. Remedy by sharing a secret in return.

- Occasionally he tries to convince you that working more than twenty hours per day is expected of him. THIS IS A LIE. Lure him out of Whitehouse with ginger snaps.

- Likes forests, walking, etc. Good idea after luring him out of Whitehouse?

- Likes scratches through his hair more than big pats.

- In terms of words of affirmation: no saying ‘you’re doing a good job/better than I could.’ That makes him feel worse. Try offering help. If all else fails, keep ginger snaps in bag.

- In terms of ginger snaps! He will NOT dip them in milk teas because it’s ‘not as god intended’. ANOTHER LIE. If you are feeling GRACIOUS then he likes fruit teas best. Otherwise, DO NOT AID HIS DEPRAVITY!

He is SMART and KIND and TERRIBLY OVERWORKED. Remember this. He will be worried that he’s stepped out of line if you get shocked by any of these. Keep your adoration private, please! This scares him also.

Later Addition:

This is still rather accurate but you know him better now. Extra things to avoid: gushing, desperately wanting to hold his hand, fawning, etc. Unprofessional and embarrassing. He DOES NOT want to kiss you and even if he did he is the PRESIDENT. He looks at your mouth because his EAR WAS EXPLODED and you talk VERY QUIETLY. It will make you go STUPID but you must keep yourself together because he is (I repeat!) the PRESIDENT and also your FRIEND.

[crownedaxo]

Oh my fucking god

[crownedaxo]

Reblog if you write fic and people can inbox you random-ass questions about your stories, itemized number lists be damned.

[crownedaxo]

Au where Ranboo is much like Cassandra from Greek Mythology, cursed to utter true prophecies but no one believes him.

He knows of Doomsday before it even becomes a thought as the meetings for Techno's head is called. He hears it in the cries of the rustling in the leaves of trees. The wind whispering in his ears, the shaking of the flowers, and the creaking of the erratic echos of distant voices not of spirits but of those craving blood for the future. He warns of defeat and despair and war, they call him spineless, a traitor, and drag him around anyways as their voices echoes distantly of war in his ears

He predicts Tommy's death through nightmares and spirits whispering dangers and animals on edge as the ants in the ground and spiders in the walls warn of a looming doom. He tells everyone he can to make sure it never happens, but no one believes him because of his faulty memory.

He predicts Tommy's revival and prepares and warns the others but everyone casts him aside as they believe hes lost in the swallows of his own grief and sadness.

He knows of his own death months before it happens. He hears the cries and sorrow of the flowers and animals. The restlessness of the spirits that call to him with hope. The roaring of the river he will be slain at, and the mocking of the obsidian walls of the prison as he passes. He doesn't warn anyone, he doesn't tell a soul. Only spending his time carefully as he loves everyone he can. He writes of it in his books and laughs cruelly as he gains another premonition.

Ghostboo wakes with premonitions in his head and spirits and whispers filling his ears. He has no desire to hear them but is unable to stop hearing them so clearly. And only then, finally in death no longer carrying the burdens of the prophecies he holds, do his friends believe him. Guilt surrounding them like fog as they realized he was right, he always was, and living with the fact that his ghost no longer cares to tel them of the future, living in the now unaffected by the passage of time.

(Wrote this bc i was feeling metaphorical and its late at night and this idea just came to me and i had to expand on it)

HOLY FUCK???

[crownedaxo]

wrote a little something inspered by this post by @artlesscomedic !! bedrock bros my beloved <3

Tommy never liked brushing his hair, so Technoblade didn't question how it was messier than usual. Tommy was always skinny, so Technoblade didn't question why he was skinnier than usual or why he ate more rabidly than usual. Tommy's always liked sewing, so Technoblade didn't question the many patches on his clothes made from his extra capes- or the slight burnt fabric around them. Tommy died a lot, so Technoblade didn't question why all his tools were stone or why he had so many scars and scrapes and cuts. He didn't question it, but he did care. He did worry. So he made Tommy shower. He cooked a big meal, Tommy's favorite. He gave Tommy gapples and health pots. He gave Tommy new clothes and the Antarctic Empire cape. He put his own cape back on, coming out of retirement should he have to fight for the boy. Things were good. It was nice, having company.

After a month, he decided to give Tommy a friendship emerald. He invited him to sit, and told him what they were and how it would work. An earring, with a couple of enchantments. Farspeach and regen. "But my ears aren't pierced," Tommy said. Techno shrugged, "I can pierce them for you." Something flashed in Tommy's eyes, so quick to disappear that Technoblade was sure it wasn't even there in the first place, especially since it wasn't the usual Tommyinnit look. It was... Empty. Sad. Scared. Techno immediately panicked, "We don't have to, I can make it into a necklace or a bracelet-" "Nah, I'm not a pussy! I want the earring!" The Tommyinnit facade was firmly back on. "Are you sure?" "Of course! I never doubt myself, I'm too cool." Techno laughed a bit, and laid out all the tools. He took Tommy through everything, explaining what everything does and cleaning everything. When he got to the actual piercing, he expected Tommy to flinch. To wince. To whine or complain or shout. Something. Not to sit there, so still and quiet, with a far off look. When everything was finished, he crouched down to look at him. "Tommy. Are you okay?" Tommy snapped to, "Psh, yeah! Of course Big T! Why wouldn't I be?" "Tommy I'm a soldier. I know what that look you had meant. That dissociation. Who did this to you?" He kept his voice gentle, but inside he was raging, the voices screaming, both needing to know who hurt this kid so deeply. The response was quiet, like he was afraid of summoning the perpetrator. "Dream. It was Dream." Technoblade nods gently, "Tommy, while you're with me, he will never do shit to you again. I promise." The tears fell silently, but fell all the same, and Techno opened his arms in an offer for a hug. Tommy accepted and sunk into his brothers arms, so relieved to finally be protected by someone and not something like the discs, not an idea like L'manberg. Someone was willing to protect him.

When Tommy had finally tired himself out and fallen asleep, Techno tasked the dogs with watching him. He put the Axe of Peace on his belt and went searching. Technoblade was going to make sure Dream never hurt his little brother again.

[crownedaxo]

DREAM SMP SEASONS SUMMARY

S1

First Disc War

Lmanberg revolution

Elections arc

Manberg and Pogtopia

November 16

S2

New Lmanberg

Exile Arc

Butcher army Arc / green festival

Doomsday

Final Disc war

S3

Snowchester / Nukes arc

Syndicate

Egg Lore and the Red Banquet

Imprisonment

Revival

Las Nevadas beginning

S4 starts with The Prision Break out

[crownedaxo]

Ficlet where Eret babysits Michael (in light of the stream where Eret and Michael chilled in the room for a bit lol)

Word Count : 616

Eret smiled as the tiny piglin examined her hand. The tiny creature was so inquisitive, Eret couldn’t imagine why anyone would want him dead, and yet here they were.

Michael butted his head against Eret’s palm, making a curious little oink as he noticed Eret’s painted nails.

“Oh, you like those? Yeah. I do too.” Eret watched Michael examined his hooves after touching the nail polish.

The music slowed to a stop in the jukebox, and Eret, using her free hand, took out the disc and placed it back in. Pigstep started up again.

Michael oinked, dropping Eret’s hand and reaching for his nearby sippy cup. The cup was made specially for his little hooves, and one of the only things Eret had grabbed on the panicked rush from the house. Now it swirled with potion, and even though it wouldn’t spill onto her, Eret tensed.

This was fine, good even, but Eret kept her sword in her hotbar when as they relaxed. As far as they might be, one could never be too safe.

Michael was tugging on something attached to Eret’s belt, and she snapped back fo attention.

Michael was trying to take one of her mushrooms.

“Oh uh… here little guy.”

Michael squealed with delight at the shitty gift, holding it aloft and clumsily examining it. Looking at him, one would’ve never guessed he had been hiding off in a corner hours prior, trying to avoid the arrows coming through his windows.

Eret sighed, leaning against the cold stone as the piglin ran in happy circles. Ranboo and Tubbo had both been alerted to the danger, had both said they’d be home shortly. Eret should really get back to Snowchester and fix them up from the griefing, but for now they decided to just relax for a bit.

Their mind drifted as they sat there, thinking about the times when they had sat to cool off in the shadow of L’Manberg’s walls. It had been perfect in the summer, a lovely place to nap or have one’s lunch without fear of getting a sunburn. Whenever they seemed to be drifting off though, someone (often Fundy) would come bother them.

Fundy always seemed to have something or other on him. Sometimes it would be a cool rock, other times a bug or a fun idea. No matter what it was though, he would yell about it until Eret acknowledged it. Then he would complain about Tommy or Tubbo, and ramble until the thought of sleep was a long lost memory.

Eret could still remember how sometimes Fundy would tire himself out talking and end up taking a nap with her, the two of them feeling safe enough to do so.

Eret could still remember how in a dark blackstone room, red had stained those orange and white curls like it might never come out.

Tiny hooves touched Eret’s face, and they opened their eyes to see Michael had climbed into their lap. The piglin chittered anxiously, rubbing furiously at Eret’s cheeks and- oh. They had been crying.

They gave a wet laugh, patting Michael’s head.

When the piglin seemed satisfied with the state of Eret’s tears, he leaned forward, bonking his head against Eret’s chest. He let out a yawn-like noise then started trying to get more comfortable. Eret let him, and eventually, his breaths evened out.

He had worn himself out.

Eret tried to stay as still as possible, as to not wake up Michael.

They had grown to big for naps, too calloused and dangerous for them, but they could at least make sure Michael could have them.

They would make sure he continued to have them as long as he liked.

[crownedaxo]

@fandomhoppingtrash THEY ABSOLUTELY DO!!!

Techno and Sally, bullying Wilbur:

Wilbur: betrayed. by both my brother and my girlfriend. there is no justice in this world. no happiness. you are a cruel and unjust family and i am going to scream

Phil wheezing in the background.

me, holding up the techno-sally friendship/rivals dynamic: i just think theyre neat!

[crownedaxo]

me, holding up the techno-sally friendship/rivals dynamic: i just think theyre neat!

[crownedaxo]

Sleep? Never Heard of Her

College is kicking Techno’s ass.

Wilbur huffs, annoyed that his headphones are suddenly missing. Tommy has been out with friends all day and Phil has been at work, so that only leaves one possible thief. Technoblade. Wilbur marches up to his brother's door and bangs once before barging in, “Techno my head… phones…” The middle child’s rage dissipates as his eyes find his older brother. Techno is on his bed surrounded by heavy textbooks and thinning notebooks. There are several pens and pencils scattered on the floor and bed around the usual stuffed animals and a few laminated flash cards fall off the bed. However Techno, instead of having his face in these studying materials, is instead asleep, holding his stuffed pig. His flower patterned pajama pants are rolled up to the knees and the band tshirt has also been pushed up. The heat of the summer has the blankets on the floor, and his long pink hair is tied up in a bun. The bags under his eyes could probably carry the textbooks that caused them. The headphones Wilbur has been looking for, sure enough, are around Techno’s neck, and Wilbur can hear pop punk playing deafeningly loud from them. The younger brother sighs and quietly starts clearing the bed, being sure not to close any books so no page was lost. It seems college is kicking Techno’s ass. Wilbur takes the empty monster and red bull cans from the night stand and throws them in the recycle bin, then grabs a water bottle from the fridge and places it and a bottle of Advil on the nightstand. He’ll text Phil to pick up some healthy food on the way home, even if that means complaining from Tommy. Wilbur shuts the door quietly and jumps a bit at a knocking at the front door. “LET ME IN!” The youngest brother shouts, and Wilbur shuffles quickly to open the door and shush him. “Techno is asleep, shut up!” Tommy instantly changes into a whisper like Wil’s, “Finally? How long has it been?” “Too long,” Wil responds as the two brothers fall onto the couch. “I’m gonna ask Phil to pick up some chicken and salad on his way home.” Tommy whines, “Gross, I’m not eating that! Tell him to get pizza.” “No. Starve.” Tommy punches his brother in the shoulder. Wilbur punches back. They do this for two minutes. Thankfully quietly, knowing Techno would not appreciate being woken up by their fighting, and would probably suplex them both through the coffee table. Even if that meant Phil suplexing Techno through the window. Just a vicious cycle of suplexes. Wilbur delivers the last punch, “What did you and Tubbo do today?” Tommy is immediately distracted from their fight, “Oh it was so fun man we went to the arcade and I beat him at DDR.” Wilbur snorts, “That’s a fucking lie.” Tommy gasps quietly in offence, “How dare you Wil, I would never!” “Toms, you get winded climbing the stairs. Tubbo plays soccer at school. There’s no way you beat him in a very physically draining game.” Tommy huffs and chugs his diet coke he left on the coffee table yesterday. Gross. “I’ll have you know, Wilbur, I am incredibly capable. And I did beat him! Even if that was only because Ranboo and I kept pushing him off the pad.” Wilbur muffles his laugh with his sweater sleeve, “Wow Tommy, teaming with the enemy. You’ve changed, ‘Big Man’.” The offence on Tommy’s face is priceless. Wilbur wishes Techno could see it. 

When Phil comes back from work, he’s carrying a few bags as promised. “Tommy, come help me cook please.” Tommy groans in annoyance as he is yeeted off of the smash bros stage by Wilbur in the moment of distraction. “Fine. I don’t even like this food.” “Uh huh,” Phil says with an amused smile. The two blondes set to work in the kitchen, falling into a pleasant rhythm. Tommy ends up doing most of the cooking since Phil has to keep Wilbur out of the kitchen for fear of a fire, but Tommy’s the best cook anyway and he enjoys it, so it’s fine. On another one of Wilbur’s arson attempts, Techno’s door opens, and attention turns to him. He’s a mess of hair and eye bags. “I’m gonna take a shower, no one use the water.” “I’m cooking though, Tech.” “Sounds like a you problem, Toms.” The two brothers lovingly flip each other off, and Techno grabs a towel from the hall closet. Once the running water is heard, Wilbur turns to Phil, “He’s been awake for like 32 hours and only slept like 3 hours.” Phil sighs, “I don’t even know if it’s stress or insomnia at this point. He has an appointment soon to get better meds because he said his insomnia ones weren’t working and he hates the adderall, but I don’t know what will help.” Tommy waves the knife he was using to cut the chicken around, “I know what’ll help. Going to that college and beating up the professors. But no, no one wants to use the Tommyinnit method.” Phil laughs quietly, “Oh trust me, we want too. It just won’t help.” “What if we knock him out, I steal his clothes and wear a wig, and go for him for a bit?” Phil bonks Wilbur, “You know he freaks about missing lectures, and I know you’ll fall asleep and not take notes.” “That’s not a no!” “Food’s done,” Tommy says, and the shower water sound stops. Fucking psychic, Techno is. Techno is out and dressed as soon as Phil is done plating. “Welcome back mate. Did you sleep well?” Techno shrugs and takes his plate to the couch. “Techno, play smash bros with me! Wilbur keeps cheating!” “I don’t cheat you little shit I’m just better than you!” “No one is better than me. Big Man. Tommyinnit. The legend.” Techno silently grabs a controller, and the other three would be worried at the quietness if they didn’t know how too much time studying fries Techno’s brain too much for him to properly formulate words, and the stuttering and grasping for a forgotten word is incredibly embarrassing to him since he’s usually so eloquent. So the two brothers play a few rounds, Techno taking bites of salad in between kicking his brother’s ass. The plates are cleaned and Tommy reluctantly gives up. Phil talks quietly to Techno, “Are you gonna go back to studying?” A nod. “Can I stop you at all?” Shake of the head. “Do you wanna use us as body doubles?” Another nod. Wilbur chimes in, “You can keep using my headphones too.” “Oh, Techno, did yours break again?” A small nod. “I’ll add a new pair to the shopping list then. Go get your work. I’ll be here if you need help.” Techno drags out his many textbooks and drops one flat on Tommy where he’s laying on the floor. “Ow, what the fuck Tech!?” Tommy receives a middle finger in response which he of course returns. Techno does not need words to bully his brother. He uses Tommy as a table on the floor as Tommy just keeps losing in smash bros to Phil. 

An hour later, the floor bros are asleep, and Phil drapes blankets over them and places pillows beneath their heads. Who knows when they’ll sleep again if he tries to move them and they wake up? Phil and Wilbur climb into their own beds and soon join the two sleepy bois. Thankfully, Techno is still asleep when Phil gets up for work in the morning. He slips a note next to his face, ‘You don’t have a lecture today :) -phil’ That should stop his groggy brain from freaking out, and Phil is off to work. 

[crownedaxo]

The Son Of Death Does(n't) Die

Technoblade visits his mother.

“Drop the fucking lever!” Technoblade looks up as the anvil starts to fall. He is going to die. He knows this. He grips the golden figure in his hand. He spent many nights researching the artifact. It doesn’t stop you from dying, just brings you back. And he doesn’t know whether or not it would even work. He spares a glance at Phil, and the two make eye contact. He wishes he could talk telepathically to the immortal. “I’ll tell her hello for you.” The anvil makes contact.

Technoblade wakes up in the void. He feels calm, but with a slight headache. He looks down at his feet making contact with nothingness. “My son!” A voice exists in the void, and the stars pull together to form a beautiful woman in a black dress, hat, and veil. She grabs Techno’s face and pulls him close, “My boy, who sent you here so early? You aren’t supposed to be in my domain yet.” “Hi mom. I’m fine, don’t worry. Just a little execution.” Kristin pulls at her son’s cheeks, “You are literally dead, Techno. That’s not ‘fine’.” Techno sticks his tongue out and Kristin rolls her eyes, then cards her fingers through his hair. “When was the last time you braided this mess?” “I wanted you to do it.” She smiles at him and starts to braid, “So how is the new server going? Wilbur has told me a lot but he’s not there anymore, what’s happened since he’s been gone?” Techno hums and closes his eyes, focusing on the feeling of his mothers hands in his hair. “Well I got executed. Basically Tubbo became president, rebuilt the city, I retired into the arctic, Quackity decided he hated me and gathered people to hunt me down and execute me. Oh and Tubbo put Phil on house arrest. So not much.”

“Sounds hectic.” Techno opens his eyes to see another familiar face. “Fishsticks.” “Porkchop.” He breaks into a smile, “Nice to see you Sally.” The pirate grins back at him, “Nice to see you too, Techno.” “I’m here too, if anyone cares?” Techno ignores his brother. “How’s the afterlife, Sally? Any good loot?” “Hey!” Wilbur tries again and Kristin laughs. Sally shrugs, “The End ships have some good stuff. I’m getting better at elytra flying.” “When fish fly can no longer be used as a phrase.” “That’s not even the phrase,” Wilbur tries to protest. Kristin finishes Techno’s hair and kisses the top of his head. “You have to go now. That totem you used invoked another god’s power, so you can’t stay as long as I’d like.” Techno frowns, “Can I get something to bring back for Phil?” Kristin nods and shapes the void into a camera. Techno, Sally, and Wilbur all gather around Kristin and she takes a picture. It looks a bit weird because of the void background, but Techno knows Phil will be happy even if it was a blank photo. As long as it’s from his wife. Sally tackles Techno in a tight hug, which he returns, the two both trying to break each other’s spines. “Okay, it’s my turn,” Wilbur says, attempting to pull his wife away. She lets up and Techno hugs his brother, tight but not as tight as Sally. More like a hug and less like a murder attempt. “We miss you,” He whispers. “I know,” Wilbur says back. The two part, and Techno waves at his family as they start to fade into the void again.

Technoblade is revived. The totem had burnt his hand but that was fine. He is on top of the anvil, body reconstructed and a fresh braid in his hair. He looks back up to Phil with a smile. Phil smiles back, recognizing his wife’s handiwork. Techno takes everyone's disbelief as a chance to run away, following the sight of Dream taking Carl into a tunnel. He spares one more glance back and sees Phil running out of his house and away from the Butcher Army.

When he returns home, Carl in tow, Phil is waiting for him. “How was she?” He asks excitedly. Techno laughs, “Calm down old man. She was great. Wilbur and Sally say hi too.” He hands over the picture and Phil holds it close as he tries not to cry. “Wow, Phil. No ‘How are you Techno?’ ‘How was dying, Techno?’ Do you know how much it sucks to be unkillable and then dying?” Phil laughs and pulls his son close, “I knew you were in good hands.” Techno waves him off, “Yeah yeah, next time you wanna see your wife, die yourself.” The two enter Techno’s house, “Let’s have some tea. Being dead really parches you.” “You’re so overdramatic.”

[crownedaxo]

Nether Babies

If Phil had a nickel for every time someone he loved came back from the Nether with a child he would have three nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's so fucking weird it happened three times.

The first time was Kristin. She needed to go home to visit her parents, two old brutes living in a crimson forest a ways away from the portal. Phil knew she could care for herself, she grew up as a piglin brute, but he still worried. Especially since she gets portal sickness. So she packed up and Wilbur and Tommy, a 5 year old and a baby at the time, each waved their mother goodbye. Phil was okay caring for the two kids himself. Mostly. Wilbur was an evil little shit, and Tommy was clingy as hell, but he handled. He started to worry when the day Kristin was supposed to come back came and passed. He tried to remind himself that she's definitely okay and could kick the ass of anything threatening her but the worry and fear didn't stop. He stayed up while the boys slept. In the morning, he heard the portal activate, and when he saw his wife step through he almost cried in relief. Almost. There was soft sniffing, but it wasn't from him. Kristin was holding a small piglin child, not even a brute, a little older than Wilbur, about 6 or 7. He had longer pink hair and a few scrapes and scars, and he was shivering from the temperature difference from the Nether and Overworld. Phil also noticed he was unusually pale. A gash was on the boys chest and zombification was setting in. The two parents raced to disinfect, clean, and dress the gash, then gave the boy a harming potion and golden apple. As they did so, Kristin explained how she had found the boy in a crimson forest being chased by a hoglin. Wilbur watched intently the whole time and when he saw how the boy shivered as he ate the gapple, he raced to his room and grabbed a red blanket. He draped it around the shivering piglin like a cape and smiled. The boy stopped his sniffling. Wilbur then had grabbed a hairbrush, deciding the little piglin's rats nest needed taking care of. He fell asleep as Wilbur brushed through his hair, and the two parents cooed at the sight. In the morning, the boy was asked his name, and he just shook his head indicating he had none. Kristin offered 'Technoblade', which Phil recognized as 'King of Blood' in Piglin. Technoblade nodded happily to the name, and Wilbur, knowing piglin from his mother, giggled and crafted a paper crown for his new brother. From that moment the two became inseparable, and Phil gained another child.

The second time was a 16 year old Technoblade. He had told Phil he needed to make a supply run for some potion ingredients and wanted to go through the Nether as a shortcut to a village that had some great deals. He wanted to do it himself too, and Kristin had agreed that he was ready. Phil loaded him up with potions and food and anything he could need. The Nether is a dangerous place and as amazing Techno is at PVP, Phil wanted to take no chances. When he finally let his son go through the portal, Kristin, 14 year old Wilbur, and a 9 year old Tommy waving next to him, he prayed to the Void that Techno would return on time and safe. That didn't happen. The day he was supposed to return, the portal stayed dormant. It took all of Kristin's effort to stop him from going out and looking. "He probably got distracted. He's fine." And a day later, she was proven right. The portal activated and Technoblade stepped out, not a scratch on him. What was on him though, was a child, about Tommy's age, 9 or 10, small, scared, and wearing Techno's crown. Phil recognized him as a hybrid of an enderman and something else. He had small bumps on his forehead and from Tommy's playdates with Tubbo, Phil could guess they were horns. He also had two tails, wrapped tightly around his leg in fear. Tears streamed from his eyes, burning his face, and there was a gash on his side. Techno hurriedly explained that he had found the boy in a warped forest running from a hoglin. Kristin, Techno, and Phil all raced to help the boy's injury, Techno having to feed him the regen and healing potions since he was the only one the boy trusted so far. Once the boy was safe and asleep in Tommy's bed, Techno talked with his parents about the trip. Phil thought back to how Kristin had found Techno and they laughed at the similarities. Techno told them about how to get the boy to trust him, he handed over his crown and said the kid could keep it, and how he liked the shiny object. In the morning, the boy introduced himself as Ranboo, which apparently meant rainbow in enderman. He also asked if Techno had a book, because he was missing his. Techno checked in his inventory and there it was, a book named 'DO NOT READ'. He handed it back to Ranboo who immediately started writing in it. When Phil asked what he was writing, he simply said "Memories." Once Ranboo had warmed up to the rest of the house, they learned of his bad memory and how he wrote everything down. He and Tommy had a playful rivalry, he made Techno a new crown out of paper, and he became fast friends with Tubbo when he came over. So Phil had a new addition to the family.

The third time was a 17 year old Ranboo (and Tubbo). The two had already gone off on their own along with Tommy and Wilbur but wanted to visit Phil, Kristin, and Techno who lived next door. Ranboo had forgotten something important and needed to get it fast, so Kristin and Techno had suggested a nether shortcut. Phil was instantly worried. Ranboo wasn't bad at fighting but he didn't like it and therefore didn't do it often enough to be super good at it. So Phil loaded him up with the best armor and potions and food, and did the same for Tubbo who volunteered to go along to keep Ranboo on track and safe, not that he was particularly amazing at fighting either. Techno and Kristin keep him from making Ranboo take too long, and they waved the boys off. Phil waits by the portal with some gear this time, and Kristin agrees that if they don't come back when they’re supposed to, that he can go looking for them. Thankfully, they come back on time. Holding a 3 year old piglin child who holds a chicken. Thankfully he's not hurt, but Ranboo and Tubbo are talking about how they found him in a dangerous spot and wanted to help him, so they rescued him with the blocks Phil had given them, and now they're going to adopt him. Phil couldn't help but laugh, Kristin joining him. The others looked at them in confusion and Phil managed to get out "This is the third time!" between laughs. "First Kristin bringing home Techno, then Techno bringing home Ranboo, and now this." The group spend the whole visit helping Michael adjust and Phil spoiled the heck out of his new grandson. Void, he's not that old, is he?

Three times Phil had to worry about someone he cared about going into a dangerous environment. Three times that dangerous environment didn't take but rather gave Phil a new family member. Maybe the Nether wasn't so bad.