crumbledandbroken - Tumblr blog

[crumbledandbroken]

Just want to fuck the life out of someone. In a nine death kind of way

[crumbledandbroken]

Excuse me while I go and fuck myself

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I just can’t right now

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The sadness really never goes away. It’s a tentacle wrapped around your mind that touches you when you’re the lowest.

[crumbledandbroken]

Today I watched someone I know find out over the phone that their fiancé had tried to commit suicide.

The neighbour had found him hanging and cut him down. Came out of nowhere.

No signs nothing.

I can’t get her face out of my mind. Her despair. She was so far yet so close to getting home.

Thankfully he survived and she can see him again.

What I can’t shake is this feeling that I did this to someone. My friends. My family.

This reaction which has shaken me to the core that I have never experienced.

This isn’t about me now though. It’s about these people. How they move forward.

How can I be a better person to help them through this.

I’m so confused and lost right now

I just want to embrace someone and fall asleep

Please check on people you care about. You never know what their demons are doing

[crumbledandbroken]

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Nothing heals the pain I feel. The numbness is constant. No matter what I just keep going on though. Like I have a point to prove.

I fucked up. I fucked everything. I’m just a useless fuck who finally got what he deserved. I’m just a nobody.

I’ve disappointed everyone around me. I’ve disappointed those that have passed on.

I really am just a narcissist piece of shit trash that isn’t worth anything to anyone.

Do as you’re told. Accept what is. Be a good boy and conform.

[crumbledandbroken]

Get fucked !

[crumbledandbroken]

The day I threw away everything still haunts me almost two years on.

I’m expected just to get over it. I can’t.

I lost what I loved.

I haven’t found anyone to talk to or thst understands me. I didn’t mean to upset her. I didn’t understand what was happening mysef.

As time went on... I just felt I was getting better. I just got worse.

Much worse

I became narcissistic. I became a shell of the person I used to be.

Now I suffer in silence for nobody wants to listen and if they do they don’t understand.

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