cuppycakediaries

[cuppycakediaries]

They ask me "have you ever been in love" ..and I think of you

I think of you .

I think of you.

I think of you .

And then I say “Never”

[cuppycakediaries]

I scraped my knees yesterday and i thought if I didn't pay any attention, the pain would go away ..but now my legs are so swollen i can't even move. How could I ever forget that just because you pretend it's not there doesn't mean the pain will go away ..it will only grow. Grow into something that you can't tolerate.

[cuppycakediaries]

I have nothing to say today , except that I miss you ..in a quiet , desperate way like an abandoned dog , missing its owner. I don't quite believe that you've left yet and I am always looking towards the door.. waiting for you to open it.

[cuppycakediaries]

You look at me like I am a goddess and I look at you with pity .. because how do I tell you I am not a holy god, but a wretched ... wretched woman

[cuppycakediaries]

I fear a lot of things,

I keep going regardless...

[cuppycakediaries]

I am a collection of everything that could go wrong.

[cuppycakediaries]

You ask me about love and I tell you about distance.

[cuppycakediaries]

Have you ever looked for something so fervently that you ended up losing yourself in the process?

[cuppycakediaries]

If not as my only love , then as my only grief I'll carry you forever with me.

[cuppycakediaries]

The older i grow, the more I realise that just loving someone is not enough..you may love someone, and they may love you back , but it doesn't change the fact that you two suffocate each other. Sometimes it's just better to let them go , not because you don't love them, but because you can't survive them.

[cuppycakediaries]

If I am a flower, then you are my spring..

And I haven't bloomed since you left...

[cuppycakediaries]

We humans love deluding ourselves by saying things like , "maybe in another universe" , or "maybe in the next life" but we all know that this is the only life we've got , the only universe we know of...the only one we'll ever be living and the only one we'll ever remember. and I really wish I didn't have to say goodbye to you in this life and this was the life where we made it till the end.

[cuppycakediaries]

What is it about getting older that makes everything more sentimental , more emotional. Friends turn into families, goodbye turns into I hope I'll see you real soon again and please take care until then. The more we grow the harder we start to hold onto things. Maybe that's why we were happy being kids , when we worried about losing toys and not people.

[cuppycakediaries]

If you love something a little bit of it always lingers inside you..you lose a part of yourself for it and end up taking a part from it. Maybe that's why people say that love changes you..because it really does.

[cuppycakediaries]

Just because I carry it well doesn't mean it doesn't weigh me down ..

[cuppycakediaries]

They'll hollow you out. Eat you up. And make a void into your heart

“If you ignore your feelings they will get your attention in other ways.”

— Kathy Kalina

[cuppycakediaries]

I'd happily die for you, since I've already died for myself...