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My thoughts on the third episode of The Last of Us

Hot hot take! They’re not ruining Dina’s character. Dina was charismatic, supportive, a voice of reason, and obviously falling for Ellie the exact same way she was in the game. So they gave her some comphet, it’s not fundamentally changing who her character is, it’s giving her a new dimension. It’s another obstacle to make their relationship all the more meaningful and multifaceted. I’m personally living for the messy, drawn out, sapphic slowburn. I feel like it’s giving their relationship more of a place in the story and seeing them have super developed beginning will make watching them fall apart hit even harder. Ellie’s fun and light hearted conversation with Gale right into her mask dropping so aggressively was gorgeous to watch. It was also such a good reminder of how easily her character can deceive us. Ellie grieving Joel both in the house and at the grave were such gorgeous scenes. Ellie’s private grief and outward anger is so well contrasted. Ellie and Jesse’s relationship>>. I wish we got a little more of Maria’s approval of Ellie’s decision to hunt the Seattle crew. It’s there, I wish it was there more, it really helped us know her character. I think Seth having a more multifaceted character besides town bigot was a cool choice. Lastly, they are really demonizing the WLF. Like they’re digging themselves a really big hole with the Seraphites that they need to dig themselves out of for the key themes of the second game to be present. However, I think they will because it’s not as though those type of massacres weren’t happening in the game universe, the show is just putting up close and personal with it. Hopefully that closeness will be applied to all sides and just enhance the meaning!

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My thoughts on the second episode of The Last of Us:

Ok, elephant in the room, Abby is not buff. I’m mourned it, I wish they didn’t remove that representation, now I’m getting over it. She’s not the same as she was in the game but I’m not watching the show to watch a carbon copy of the game, it’s a separate piece of media. Overall I think the character is well interpreted and the acting is good! I can’t wait to see Abby more in not revenge mode and I hope they include the gentleness of her character. So far Abby feels more like a villain then I felt like she was in the game (waking the infected that attack Jackson ect) but that might just be a me thing. I am excited to see her humanized and become morally grey. I really like the dynamic of the Seattle crew, they’re fun and interesting to watch and preserving a lot of their original essence. They did such a good job of making Joel’s death such a raw, emotion filled, painful moment for all parties involved. Bella and Pedro ATE that scene oh my god. Absolutely haunting with a justified amount of violence and no more. The addition of Jackson being overrun by infected made the episode so dynamic and I can’t wait to see what plots they add/expand on during the recovery. Ellie still feels slightly different to me but again, the show is not the game and it’s incredibly well done. I really enjoyed her interactions with Jesse, they were just generally fun to watch. Tommy being on the front lines during the attack was so aligned with his character and his reunion with Maria was gorg.

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My thoughts on the first episode of The Last of Us:

Isabela Merced is absolutely nailing it as Dina so far! I think she captures Dina’s personality so incredibly well and I’ve enjoyed watching her interact with all the different characters, especially Ellie. I like the little moments they’ve added to make the characters seem closer and build their relationship, it’s very sweet. Ellie seems like a very different character to me the character she in the games. She’s a lot more reserved and awkward in part 2 of the games but I do feel like that more on the writing then on Bella Ramsey. Ellie feels most similar to her game version when interacting with her Jackson friends. Overall all the relationships between characters I have liked a lot so far (Ellie and Joel, Ellie and Tommy, Ellie and Jesse, ect). Jesse, Joel, Tommy, and Maria I have liked so far but it’s hard to tell. Same with the Seattle crew: not bad but time will tell. Kaitlyn Dever has captured Abby’s essence really well so far and I feel like she understands the character. However, I still wish there wasn’t erasure of Abby’s physique because it was representation for an under represented body type in women and important to her character. I’m holding out hope there is a difference in her strength post time skip. It wasn’t a super eventful episode but I feel like so many thing were set up so well to have a good season!

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The point of Yellowjackets is it’s ambiguity! ! ! We are not supposed to understand Lottie’s mental state: we see her predicting the future accurately and we see her violating every moral principle we can think of. We can’t say her input comes from a place of reality otherwise reality is harsh and violent and nobody wants to think that. However, we see evidence that she may showing us the truth all the time. It’s a big spectrum of contradiction that all the girls fall into differently and that’s what makes there characters/the dynamic between them fascinating. Lottie doesn’t understand, the girls don’t understand, and what they chose to believe because of there experiences shape who they are. The point is not the reality (wether it’s supernatural or not, ect) but where we all fall along the spectrum of interpretation.

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Recovering from body dysmorphia is crazy cause wdym I’ve always looked like this?

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again a million times. The present timeline Yellowjackets cast does SUCH a good of showing that the characters never progressed developmentally past there traumatized teenage versions. They’ve clearly all compartmentalized in different ways but they’re actions read as such teenager thought processes. Even there body language reads the same as it did when they were kids.

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Sorry I have another edit request. Can someone edit Lottie getting beat up by Shauna/Shaunas grief over the pregnancy/Lotties guilt over the hunt to the chorus of I Don’t Smoke by Mitski. It’s the “if you need to be mean be mean to me” part <3

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Can someone please make a soldier poet king edit with young shauna as the soldier, young lottie as the poet, and young nat as the king 🙏 I’m begging

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Lottienat x reader

Summary/background: ok so I imagine this as pretty soon, maybe a year or so, after the girls get rescued and the reader has helped Lottie slowly recover instead of her going to Switzerland while Natalie has just pushed them away. They were all dating in the wilderness but things changed when they got rescued. They’ve tried to help Nat in quiet ways but this time, she catches them and has a little breakdown :)

Tw: angst, natalies psychotic break, nat being lowkey mean to Lottie about her mental health

Wc: 1275

“What. The. Fuck.”

Natalie’s standing in the doorway: her breathing is erratic, her fists are closed, and her knuckles are white. To her right sits a shattered beer bottle that had slipped from her grip and created a puddle of the malty liquid on the washed floor. Her cheeks are flushed from the cold (and the alcohol), her hair is stringy, and she stinks of whiskey and cigarettes.

Shit

“No seriously, what the fuck. You fucking break into my house when I’m not home and and.. “ she stops, blinking and trying to process what she’s seeing. “Are you fucking cleaning?”

The trailer is clean. It’s nothing like how she left it. The counters aren’t sticky with old spirits, the sink it’s overflowing with crusted over dishes, and a pile of freshly bought groceries sit by the fridge. You can see Natalie’s eyes burn with something you can’t name, something more than just anger.

“Nat,” you say, trying to keep your voice even but she's already gearing up for a fight.

She falls forward, her boots crunching on the glass of the broken bottle and her jaw tightening as she notices Lottie enter the room. “Oh and Lottie’s here too?,” she snarls, throwing her arms up. “What, so you’re done going batshit now? Decided to play house instead.”

You step between the two girls as Lottie flinches and casts her gaze down in guilt.

“Enough,” You snap at Nat. “Lottie’s been working hard to get better. You don’t get to talk to her like that.” You know it’s a little far, but Natalie had done virtually nothing to help her situation since you’d been rescued.

“I never asked you to fix me, or save me, or whatever it is you’re doing right now” Nat bites “Either of you.” Lottie folds in on herself even more, more than you had thought possible from the girl. You grimace.

“You don’t have to,” you shoot back “But we’re at least not going to let you fucking rot away and drink yourself to death in this dump.”

Natalie laughs a short bitter laugh before turning to look between you and Lottie. Her chest rises and falls, in anger, and her fists are clenched at her sides. And then, almost too soft to hear, she mutters. “Get out.”

“Please Nat,” Lottie says, stepping quickly towards her. But Nat was already unraveling, a crazed look overtaking her features and bleeding into her eyes.

“Out,” she screams, lurching forward across the glass, crunching once again beneath her feet. “OUT OUT OUT.” She shreds her voice raw and tears spring from her eyes, unforgivingly. She grabs at her hair as her knees give out and she sinks to the floor. “Just fucking go,” she sobs, bent over in wracking despair. Her voice strained and she’s gasping as though she’s drowning as she sinks to the floor.

You and Lottie exchange stunned looks before turning back to the crumpled figure. For a moment you’re all suspended in time, unsure of what to do. Lottie’s instincts kick in first and she rushes towards Nat. She drops to the floor, practically wrestling her into an embrace.

“Get off me,” Nat chokes, her face wet and red from the tears as she struggles weekly.

“No,” Lottie responds gently, embracing her tighter. It’s a harrowing scene and, if you hadn’t seen far worse, you might have been rattled.

Natalie thrashes one final time before going limp in Lotties arms, drawing in ragged, empty breaths. Her body trembles and past her psychosis, she seems afraid.

You walk towards them carefully, trying not to burst whatever bubble they’re living in and lower yourself to your knees. Lottie pulls you into them. Before you can think, your eyes burn with tears and you’re hit with memories. The wilderness flashes before your eyes, bleeding into everything you had tried to separate. You remember the sick life you lived out there. You remember the fear of losing them both, and the twisted joy of having them.

You remember being rescued. The way they tried to take Lot away, to lock her up in Switzerland, like stripping you of everything was the only solution. You remember Natalie shutting you out, removing you from her life bit by bit. You remember the first time you came to clean Nats trailer. You had watched her return, wasted, and pass out in the kitchen. By morning, she had no idea how the trailer had gotten so clean.

”I’m sorry,” Nat whispers. You and Lottie instinctively hold her tighter.

“It’s ok,” You say back.

Nat doesn’t respond but a fresh round of sobs hit her. You sit there for a while, until Lot turns to you.

“Should we..” she starts and you nod. Together, you bring Natalie to her feet.

The bathroom is cramped and dimly lit. Lottie turns on the shower and the space floods with steam. You peel Natalie’s pungent clothes from her body and move her into the stream of water. Her movements are withdrawn and obedient. She stares toward some far point.

“Nat ,” you ask. “You with me?”

Her eyes flicker to yours. They’re bloodshot and tired. After a beat she nods.

You wash her hair, scrub the grime from her skin, and let her brush her teeth with a new toothbrush brush. When she’s clean and dressed in new clothes, you drag her to the kitchen. Lottie pours her a glass of water and begins to heat up the soup you had left in the fridge. You go to the doorway to sweep up the broken beer bottle.

Nat drinks 3 cups of water and eats 2 bowls of soup before you help her to her bedroom. She collapses onto the mattress and hums softly into the smell of detergent. She rolls over onto her side. You smile. She almost looks like the Natalie you spent so many years getting to know, learning to love. You and Lottie turn to leave the room.

“Wait,” you hear from behind you. You turn around and she is facing you, her expression unreadable.

“Just, don’t leave,” she mumbles.

“We weren’t going to,” Lottie says gently.

“No, I mean..stay. Here,” she says, her skin flushing red. Understanding settles in.

“Of course Nat,” you responded, barely able to hide my own embarrassment.

Moments later you’re all huddled comfortably in Natalie’s childhood bed, you and Lottie on either side of her. The silence is awkward. It’d been a while since you’d held each other like this.

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs, burying herself deeper in Lotties shoulder.

“Natalie,” you sigh. “It’s ok.”

“No no no, it’s not.” She closes her eyes, takes a breath, and adjusts to look at you both. “I just.. everything feels so horrible and I have no idea how to fix it. Having you guys be here and be so loving while I’m so awful just.. made it worse I guess. Digging a bigger hole seemed easier than climbing out.”

“You never have to explain yourself with us. You should know that by now,” Lottie says, a far off look in her eyes. Her implications make me shudder for a moment before you refocus on Nat.

“But thank you.” You add. “That makes sense.”

“I love you. Both of you.” Nat says, almost without thinking as she closes her eyes.

Lotties hand flys to yours, gripping it tightly and you smile.

“I love you too, Nat,” you murmur.

“Always,” Lottie says with enthusiasm and you almost roll your eyes in affection.

Natalie sighs and you feel the tension in her body finally melt away and her breathing even out. You allow your eyes to slip closed.

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I think I’m going to start posting fanfics here! Mostly for Yellowjackets (Nat and Lottie) cause I’m obsessed but maybe some other stuff in the future too!

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Hello and welcome

You can call me Sage

I’m 18

I’m a lesbian

I use she/they pronouns

I’m an aspiring actor

I obsesses over so much stuff

I especially love Arcane, the Last of Us, Yellowjackets, Shera, and UCONN women’s basketball

I listen to Phoebe Bridgers, Hoizer, Boygenius, Big Thief, Bob Dylan, ect

I mostly post on my side blog but I’m going to try and post more here!