cyrus-lulz

[cyrus-lulz]

I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.

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Hotch, rubbing his temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.

Emily: But Hotch, we don't smoke.

Hotch: Cut the crap, Emily. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Hotch: *points at Spencer* One! *points at Rossi* Two! *points at JJ* Three! *points at Derek* Four! *points at Emily* Five!

Hotch: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!

Derek: *puts a cigarrette in Hotch's hand*

Hotch: Thank you. ...Light?

The Team: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

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if two men have sex with each other, is that feminist because no women are being sexualized, or anti-feminist because it doesn't pass the bechdel test

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What did the author mean by the curtains being blue? Hi, literary expert here to help! Navy blue means anal sex but light blue means oral sex. Curtains on the left side of the window mean top but curtains on the right side mean bottom.

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😳 <- this emoji but without the blush or romantic connotation. im not blushing im staring you directly in your fucking eyes

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Benvolio after getting the flu: How long was I out for?

Mercutio: Five years, give or take.

Benvolio: FiVe YeArS????

Romeo: It’s been two days

Benvolio:

Mercutio: What? I said give or take

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@justtenderdinos @crownoyami 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

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i miss you too baby

idk why but the more time i spend on tumblr the gayer i am

all the posts abt cuddling with boys is making me yearn goddamnit i miss my boy

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the duck

penis

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you’re such a dorkkkk

this is a he/they appreciation post

if ur a he/they i will fall in love with you immediately!!!!!!

😳😳🥺🥺🥺💖💝💘💝💞💞💓💓💖💝💖💞💞💞💘💘💘💕💕💞💓💞🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😳😳💕💕💕

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i am?

my boyfriend is so fucking handsome banners in some different styles!! free to use but please reblog if you do thanks, these are meant for mlm and nblm, transphobes dont touch

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ahhhh, i love you

not to be gay but *makes out with you*

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im more than happy to do that baby-

the love of your life

hey uh 🥺🥺👉👈

can i grow old with you? 💕

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yes, you can- from your boyfriend

hey uh 🥺🥺👉👈

can i grow old with you? 💕

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when u scratch a cat’s chin and they lift their head up reblog if u agree

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the only mental stability i have is that my depression and anxiety are constantly there

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ADHD translator

what we say: I am doing it this way because it’s easier for me. what we mean: Your way doesn’t work for me, it’s this way or not done at all. what they hear: I refuse to do it the right way because I’m stupid.

what we say: It would be nice to have a job in something that I’m naturally good at, and something that comes naturally to me. what we mean: It’s draining to spend 8 hours a day only doing things that I do worse than anyone else, and never being allowed to do things I do better than anyone else. what they hear: I want to be the company’s rockstar and put in zero effort to make that happen.

what we say: I don’t know. what we mean: I don’t know. what they hear: I am deliberately trying to anger you on purpose.

what we say: I forgot. what we mean: I forgot. what they hear: I am deliberately trying to anger you on purpose.

what we say: I can’t do that. what we mean: The last time I tried to do that, I burned myself out so badly that the shift manager called me an ambulance twice within 6 months, I ended up in a psych ward, and 3 different professionals told me to not try that again. what they hear: I don’t wanna.

what we say: I’m bored. what we mean: I am so deprived of stimulation that I’m flipping a coin on whether I should try meth or go play in traffic. what they hear: I’m bored.