dani474

[dani474]

dadmom dean

aka propaganda for @need-him-pregnant-poll (please vote!)

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amara + girlboss outfits

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besties

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buffy: 5.22 the gift //  spn: 5.22 swan song  [3/?]

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the fact is they had to cut jack mourning cas because it shows just how much it makes no sense that he didn’t just immediately pull cas out of the empty AND that scene makes it abundantly clear how vulnerable and young jack is; he’s a kid who’s scared and just wants his dad to come back and it makes it so painfully obvious that he shouldn’t have become god. they literally had to cut it because they knew!!! they knew the ending with jack becoming god didn’t fit!!!!

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one of many reasons castiel spent the first year of knowing dean trying not to strangle him: dean’s weird little winchester-only dialect

i’m fucking obsessed with this right now, so buckle in for a meta. a cool fun (horrible) thing about dean’s dialogue is that a good 90% of what comes out of his mouth is:

a pop culture reference (“you’re just gonna take some divine bong hit, and shazam, you’re roma downey?”)

references to real life phenomenon (“i don’t wanna wake up missing a kidney in a bathtub full of ice” “try new mexico, i hear he’s on a tortilla”)

these also often take the form of nicknames, and dean has a tendency to give people nicknames in general or call them something besides their given name, whether it’s affectionate or rude (“easy there, van damme” “so i’m girl interrupted” furthermore castiel = cas, ezekiel = zeke, etc, see also frequent use of “chucklehead” “asshat” and on the nicer/endearments end “buddy” “pal” “sunshine” etc)

an idiom (“a snowball’s chance” “if it smells like a duck…”)

slang (“drinking the koolaid” “jonesing for some hooch” not to mention the literal endless amount of words dean uses to refer to killing - gank, waste, juice, ice, etc)

a metaphor (“power up your batteries” “fly me back to my page on the calendar”)

a euphemism (“cloud seeding” “i’d have given you an hour alone with her first”)

sarcasm (his habit of replying “peachy” or “super” when asked how he is)

wordplay (see: the entire “vampirate” and “werepire” debacles)

completely nonsensical (guessing what happened to a magical artifact: “it was dug up by tomb raiders? it was seized by the king of the dead by warlords?”)

said at lightning speed - if you pay attention, dean actually talks a LOT, usually a mile a minute (this makes me feel a way when you recall him being nonverbal for a year at age 4 but that’s another post)

slang IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (casual usage of “guano,” etc)

a lie, a deflection, a joke, etc

or worse, something dean’s NOT saying, deliberately, because he’s one of the most repressed people on earth

the end result of all this being:

dean winchester is utterly infuckingcomprehensible. 

think about this. there’s an ENTIRE SECTION on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE PAGE of the spn wiki devoted to JUST explaining dean’s pop culture references, because the average viewer won’t have seen everything he’s talking about either. they have a whole page for this called “hunter’s lingo,” but honestly, it’s not all hunters, just sam and dean’s fucking batshit communication style. even i don’t understand dean half the time. SAM gets it, sam speaks it back to dean a lot in the early seasons, but that’s because sam and dean are 1. practically two halves of the same person 2. FREAKS. every time we get an episode that involves outsider POV is devoted to them going “what the fuck is WRONG with them?”

enter castiel. technically speaking, the show implies that angels are omnilingual. castiel should understand every language known to man, but knowing the meaning of words doesn’t help him understand the following:

pop culture references

references to real life phenomenon

nicknames

idioms

slang

metaphors

euphemisms

sarcasm

wordplay

you get the idea.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. castiel cannot understand a single fucking word that comes out of dean’s mouth. my guy laid a hand on dean winchester in hell and immediately fell in love with him and has no fucking idea what he’s talking about ever. because not only is dean winchester’s way of speaking CLINICALLY insane, and sometimes incomprehensible even to other human beings who are not sam, castiel is an angel, and someone prone to taking things even more literally than other angels do

go back and watch and watch seasons 4-5 especially. the reason cas does so much squinting and head tilting is because every time dean opens his mouth castiel has to open up his mental “dean winchester dictionary” and translate entire paragraphs on the fly, because again, dean never shuts up!

what makes this extra hilarious to me is this gem:

this line is from 5.13. at this point cas has known dean for AN ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF. what you see here is my guy SNAPPING. cas made an EFFORT in this scene. he asked who glenn close was. he’s telling dean that he can’t understand him. he is doing his level best to have a normal conversation with this guy he has a crush on and for the life of him he cannot do it (equal but opposite energy to cas blowing up the gas station and motel room in 4.01, tbh)

yes, cas can understand dean’s tone. he can use context clues, and he usually gets the general idea. and when cas DOES understand dean’s jokes, he laughs at them. the first time we ever see him smile is during their 4.07 heart-to-heart when dean says “it was a witch, not the tet offensive.” since cas has knowledge of human history, he knows what the tet offensive is; he got the joke, and he laughed.

but as far as actual dialogue goes, he consistently struggles to keep up. even after metatron gives castiel the pop culture knowledge in season 9, cas struggles to put it to put it to proper use (dean: “you wanna just walk right into the death star?” cas: “what does a fictional battle station have to do with this?”). whenever he asks dean to clarify it’s always when he’s most annoyed, like most of the time he knows it would be futile but he’s too annoyed to care. (dean: “i don’t know who’s on first, what’s on second!” cas: “what IS second???”) i’m pretty sure he spends seasons 4-6 wanting to shake dean by the shoulders and ask him why he is LIKE THIS. 

it takes cas - who, again, is omnilingual - YEARS to begin to acclimate to dean’s speech and start speaking that language back to him. it’s season 8 before we start really hearing him use slang, season 9 before he begins to understand wordplay, season 10 before he starts using pop culture references (to other angels, who immediately fail to understand him, which disappoints him immensely), and season 11 before he really gets into metaphors. i don’t remember what season he started using “yeah” instead of “yes” but i do know it took a really damn long time. 

and honestly, i don’t think cas truly got the hang of it until at least season 11-12. that’s something like 7 or 8 YEARS. it’s more than half the time they’ve known each other at the point of the series finale. 

so what’s true romance, fellas? it’s falling completely and totally in love with the most inexplicable person you will ever meet in your whole 4.5 billion year life, even though you have yet to understand a single thing he’s ever said to you. thank you for coming to my ted talk

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they literally wrote a horrible tragedy and had no idea theyre so disconnected from the impacts of their own narrative that they thought this was a happy satisfying ending. its a HORRIBLE tragedy. the character who has been tired and empty that death has sounded like a respite since season two is “peaceful” as he dies from a treatable wound. the character who accepted his place in the supernatural world and had the skills to do something important in it was set back to the goals he had in season one. a child’s mourning was erased so that he could be burdened with literally all the responsibilities of the universe. a character who was never thanked or told that he was loved was erased in death and cut from the story. a character calls his father, his drill sergeant and the source of his trauma, by his first name and will spend eternity down the street from him. the wealth of characters that were considered family are wiped from the slate, leaving the main characters as desolate and as isolated as they have ever been. heaven is empty.

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isn't dean's heaven eventually going to be lonely/ruined if blurry wife and the kid show up? i keep wondering this

this post began in one place, got away from me (not unusual), and ended up somewhere radically different. it’s probably one of the stranger/longest pieces I’ve ever cobbled together for public consumption about this, and who knows if it’s even coherent (since it was written off-and-on over the span of like 18 hours), but it’s a whole look into my psyche’s vibe and lamentations, and it ended up being like a personal therapy session/exorcism, so we’re going to embrace its madness.

the short answer? will his heaven eventually be lonely or ruined? no. don’t you worry your pretty little mind.

quick update, I was literally in the midst of writing this and got another anon adjacent to this topic:

I hear where you’re coming from, but Dean would never leave Sam behind (it’s who he is. being given a life that doesn’t include Sam isn’t something Dean would accept, especially not after being reunited. being on his own permanently is not happiness for him. I’ve gladly imagined him having adventures on his own, to decompress, but he would always return home again, we know the import and comfort that holds. I would rather him get the chance to live a full life he wants than never get to live at all, so to wholly love him, it’s not my place to take that inclusion of Sam from him, and I wouldn’t). besides, the life Sam got was NOT the life Sam wanted, at all. he hadn’t wanted that for a long time, and consequently, it was entirely shrouded in grief. he lived in memoriam of his brother, but is that truly living? or is it existing to pass the time until you’re also given permission to die (which is what happened)? I don’t want Dean having a half-life too, waiting for the day when he can get back to heaven again. the whole purpose should have been for them to grow and heal and thrive while still being a significant, positive part of one another’s lives, a permanent separation was one of the major things I did not want, because healing fully as whole people is impossible if they’re split apart. they cannot make progress that way.  you can’t move past trauma when apocalypses and life-or-death situations and new traumas are constantly being piled on top of the old ones. there are things they needed to work through, conclusively, together, given space and time and catharsis. what we got was my worst nightmare of an ending, in every agonizing way specifically for Dean, but also for both of them. it was a total desecration of their respective arcs. 

as a Dean girl with every fiber of my being, which I think I’ve made clear…before I try to delve into this, let me go on record again to say I love him first and foremost, consider him fundamentally his own person, wish I could protect him and restore his agency, wish I could give him freedom and joy and a life, and hate this ending. Dean was constantly mistreated, and undermined, and then slaughtered in a way that could never rectify it. and clashing portions of the fandom keep perpetually diminishing him (for the sake of other characters, for the sake of ships, the discourse over which has burned me out), and I KNOW it can feel like a battle between those of us who love Dean most vs. everyone else, and that puts us into defensive positions, baring our teeth for him. the situations in parts of the fandom lately have been nearly as difficult to witness, in some ways, as the ending itself for me. I’ll ferociously love him with my fangs and my claws out whenever I need to, but my inherently delicate self is not a huge fan of having to be in that defensive space continually.

the long answer to the original question gets into codependency issues and the way they simply are a part of this journey, and what that episode canonically told us, and I get deep into some analysis of foundational genre principles and heroic archetypes here, so I’m putting it under a cut for the sake of anyone who might be uncomfortable with that/who does not have an investment in their bond/who doesn’t want Sam included (we’re completely cool, I am just not personally in that place now)/who is understandably upset about the finale in general. (also because it is indeed LENGTHY, and it is more comprised of Dean feelings, and there’s poetry quotes, then I threw in pictures to break up the walls of text. unhinged.)

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Meta: Do I look like Paris Hilton? Dean as SPN's Cinematic Female Other

Disclaimer: Sadly, I’m not a film scholar, so this is just the sum of my personal amateurish observations. // Contains mild spoilers for 12x09. // This got ridiculously long, but I hope the pretty pictures make up for it. In a recent discussion with @dlasta I said that I think the show’s narratology, mythology and cinematography all code Dean as SPN’s Female Other. She invited me to share further thoughts on the cinematography, which is what I’m attempting to do now. I want to talk about five aspects of the cinematography which particularly stood out to me: feet-first camera pans, sex scenes, sleeping scenes, mannequin symbolism, and moments of cinematic otherness (or, as I tend to call them in my head, “monster shots”).

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Even satan got Sam's informed consent. Gadreel tricked him.

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Even satan got Sam's informed consent. Gadreel tricked him.

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66 of the most memorable tracks from Supernatural

+ LISTEN  [part 1] - [part 2] - [part 3]

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overheard someone say that lesbians don’t have male icons the way gay men have female icons…. baby you have not logged onto tumblr dot com. the lesbians are dedicating blogs to men who look like the default mii

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Did i just reblog like half of my #dean and introspection tag… maybe.

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Tell me more about Dean’s sensitivity of perception, I beg you.

Of course 💖

First point, I love the joke turned to headcanon that is psychic!Dean.

Second, I think about Cas' "Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage." every couple of days.

5x18 – Point of No Return

The situations are different, I know. The employee is hearing and seeing Michael's true form, and Dean is killing Zachariah while Zachariah is wearing his vessel. But it's sure a choice to remind what seeing an angel cause to a human and have Dean's eyes reflecting

The only similar scene and lighting I can remember is in the Rapture, with Castiel leaving Claire to take back Jimmy as a vessel.

Dean and the angels

Dean's reaction to angels shining seem more linked about who is with him at the time than about what it can do to him. He will hide his eyes if Sam is here and/or if Cas is the one killing or banishing the angel.

But if he's the one doing banishing or killing the angel? He tends to watch them.

There's also his reaction being different when it's about Cas. If he does close his eyes, it's a decision not a reaction.

It's following enough of a pattern to raise questions (and have fun with theories).

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger

I'm singling out this one because the angel tablet does something to Cas, something violent enough to make an angel cover their eyes. And Dean? Dean watches Cas for a while before closing his eyes and lowering his head. He'd look peaceful if not for the injuries all over his face.

Fun fact: a human can't close their eyes after seeing an angel true form. Their eyes burn at the first glimpse (and it kills them more often than not).

A little aside: the Faery episode

For once, there's an explanation about Dean seeing things others don't see: people who are taken to their realms can see them even back on earth.

Dean acting as a witness of heavenly events is a constant.

It could be have been played by arcs. This arc is about Sam or Cas so we'll show Sam or Cas, but there's this decision of focusing on Dean (Dean seeing, studying something).

In 4x22, the Cage opens. This is Sam's plotline. Sam is the one who opened the Cage, he's the one "fated" to be Lucifer's vessel, and yet it's Dean is who watches the Cage open.

In 8x23, (my fav of the list... it'll have its own post later) the Fall. The scene features Dean, Sam and Cas, all looking up at the sky. There's this sequence of Dean watching the sky and the camera zeroing in on one angel falling, before showing Dean's reation (shock). Dean watches as this angel falls, lowering his head as the angel approaches the ground and crashes.

In 11x09, there's once again a close up on Dean's face cutting a show of angelic powers.

Sometimes I wonder if him "not seeing" the angels is a mental block. I mean... his first interactions with angel true form are Cas shattering glass at him and burning out Pamela's eyes.

Or he's just trusting Cas and Cas got the wrong conclusion.)

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Sam (Wesson): There's just something in my blood. Like I was destined for something different. What about you? You ever feel that way?

Dean (Smith): I don't believe in destiny. I do believe in dealing with what's right in front of us, though.

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Dean being able to clock the "wide eyed hitchhiker routine" because John used to make him do it to catch monsters, Dean knowing what roofies look like, Dean having resorted to finding alternate ways of getting food for Sam because money was tight, Dean's relationship with sex and sexuality and even porn being something he is obsessively performing for those around him, Dean doesn't like praying because it feels like begging.