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Glad it's Just a Nightmare

Yesterday night I had a dream that my favorite person in the world left me. The way he left was so smooth and cold. It was at the beginning of the dream so of course I had the whole dream to suffer without him. The whole time I'm wondering what I did wrong? What was wrong with me? Knowing deep down inside that it was only a matter of time that he would leave me. I immediately had to talk to him after my dream. It seemed too real. He laughed and told me ...that he doesn't understand why I fear him leaving. I told him that I am always afraid a good thing is going to be stripped away. I am thankful that God has allowed a loving Fiancé to soothe and heal the wounds deep inside of me. In the past whenever something good would happen, darkness always crept in to steal it. My birthdays, Christmases and other major events of my life have always been followed by a shadow of hurt. Someone had to hurt me, bully me, put me down, and run off with my Uncle ( mother issues that I have already healed from). I have learned forgiveness is non-negotiable especially when it comes to my joy and someone's salvation. But... I often sweep my hurts under the rug in the process thinking that forgiveness erases the hurt but it doesn't. That's okay. We need to come to face with brokenness and hurts to be healed. At the time I started to do that, Joe'l popped into my life and made the process a whole lot easier and enjoyable. Thank you my love for loving me in such a way that I have become a better woman. You have nurtured every part of my heart and for that I know that I more myself than ever.

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What happens when you try to take a picture with your big Great Dane puppy 😒😂 #horsesofinstagram #greatdanesofinstagram #puppies #carrides #puppyproblems

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My MCM is @joelmartinez23 who any though has a bad day is still optimistic. You show some major faith without complaining and that's amazing. #cartrouble #faith #badday

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The longer you hang in there, the greater the chance that something will happen in your favor. No matter how hard it seems, the longer you persist, the more likely your success.

Jack Canfield (via wnq-anonymous)

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After moving a whole house for a friend a bacon cheeseburger sound so good! #datenight #chestersburgers #bacon #cheese #yum @joelmartinez23

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Had fun with my mini golfing Saturday #datenight #minigolf #floral #romper #saturdays

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Good Morning 😏 #homemade #donuts #devotion #sundaymorning #cinnamon #sugar #baking

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Wedding planning official started today with @joelmartinez23. Thanks babe for looking at so many pages and listening to sooo many ideas 😘 #weddingplanning #theknot #magazines #iamafeyoncé #heisthebest #engaged #bride #venues #budget #futureplans #colorschemes

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Second highlight of the day? He got me a #ukulele #darkbrown #kisses #engagementparty #mywholefamily #heisthebest #iamafeyoncé 😉

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Highlight of today? I got #engaged!! #saidyes #putaringonit #mywholefamily #wasthere

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Made lemon cranberry bundt cake using lemons from my lemon tree in the backyard 😍 I love having a lemon tree! #whenlifegivesyoulemons #lemons #yellow #tree #backyardfun #citrus #cake

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Yummy Chai tea on a stormy cold Sunday Morning #perfecteamaker #teavana #chai #steeper #christmaspresent

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Had fun Saturday at the Dallas Cowboys game! #nfl #Cowboys #Dallas #vs #jets #fun #firstgame #football #saturdaynightlights #iamblessed

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My boyfriend gave me flowers at work just because... and brought me the debit card I forgot at his house. 😘💐 #myboyfriend > #yours #flowers #vase #love #workplace #iamblessed (at Security Service Federal Credit Union- Rolling Oaks branch)

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Happy Birthday to my best friend and boyfriend Joe'l. A man who deserves a great day full of laughter, kindness,and adventure ... Especially because he brings that everyday to my life. I'm thankful you were born. @joelmartinez23

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It's not the material things that matter, and for those that know me...know I'm happy with the small things but I'm thankful my man thinks about the big things as well ☺️ #myboyfriend > #thanyours #michaelkors #rosegold #watch #geneva #sweaterweather #thankyou #imloved #thoughtful @joelmartinez23

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Boyfriend helped me start the day right.... Coco mint tea. ☕️🍃Thank you @joelmartinez23 #mint #yum #andcoco #doubleyum #floralleggings #winter or #fall #myboyfriend > #yours