darksidedlogic

[darksidedlogic]

Thomas’ room was quiet as Logan’s host remained curled up in his bed fast asleep,

his chest gently rose and fell in tune with the near-silent ticking of his bedside clock. The cold breeze of the air conditioning ruffled Logan’s still damp air, as he stood there completely frozen not daring to make even the slightest move towards Thomas much less to do what he had come to do.

It was like all of time stood still in that one moment, as he stared down at his host who was sleeping peacefully not even aware of the two sides that were standing there. They had never dared to appear to Thomas when he wasn’t fully conscious and aware, but to do so now…it felt almost surreal, like it was nothing more than a dream that he was taking part in.

He would have stood there for longer hade Despair not been there to there to snap him out of it with the firm grip of his hand in Logan’s.

“Are you okay?” The other dark side mumbled, his voice nothing more than a whisper. “We can always come back another time…when he’s not here.”

He said that, but even he wasn’t sure that he meant it.

It had been years since he’s last seen Thomas before he had been forced by the others to go under, it had been years,

and back then Thomas had been nothing more than a small child with only the slightest comprehension of death and just what it meant.

The last time he had seen him was when a family member of Thomas’ had died, and… Despair had completely lost it…

And so had Thomas.

Logan’s head jerked as he shook his head, “No,” The logical side firmly uttered as he stiffly took a step forward. “The hardest ones first, that’s the only way to move forward. If...” He swallowed thickly, “If it doesn’t hurt, then I’ve learned nothing from it.”

Leaning over Thomas, Logan gripped the robotic mask tightly his palms digging into the cold welded metal until it hurt…

Until he was sure that he was going to cut himself on that metal. He didn’t want to let this mask go, he’d held onto it for so very long and he’d even pretended like this mask was his very own face. But…if it didn’t hurt, it would mean nothing to him at this point. He had to let go, he had to let it go, he had to let go of the him from the past. That was pretty much a given at this point, he couldn’t stay the same if he was going to live with the dark sides as one of them.

“Thomas,” He softly began, “I can’t keep up the plain boring Logic that you made me to be.” Without even thinking, he brushed a stray lock of hair behind Thomas’ ear.

“You have to let that go...you have to let me go, and grow. I can’t remain stagnant forever, we both know it.” Before he even knew it, he was already blinking back those thick black tears once again. “I’m not sorry.”

It felt as if he was ripping a part of himself away as he laid that cold metal mask down next to Thomas’ sleeping body, but regardless…

It was done.

[darksidedlogic]

The black tears that Logan seemingly constantly shed had been washed off, 

instead, it clearly showed the stained path that those tears had made down his face. Honestly, to Despair it reminded him starkly of a cheetah and the black marks that they had trailing down their face. 

Logan’s though rolled down his cheeks and disappeared down his chin, his neck was spotless with not a single black smudge in sight. 

But even more than that, Logan was wearing pajamas…

a massive t-shirt to where the sleeves hung to his elbows, and regular old and worn out pajama bottom that left Logan’s feet poking out.

Cute…wasn’t exactly the word that he would use in this scenario, no…with him here it felt...it felt…

Domestic.

“Despair?” Logan’s mouth twisted vaguely as the towel twisted in his hands, and just like the silence between them had been broken. The amusement that had lit up Logan’s face had completely fled as soon as the logical side turned his attention away from the other dark side, and to the remaining masks sitting on his wall. Now there was an unreadable look on his face, one that Despair didn’t like at all. 

“Would it be presumptuous to ask you for a favor?”

That pit of dread was back in an instant, “Never.” The word slipped out before he could wrangle it back in his mouth.

It wasn’t like he didn’t mean it, it was just…a little embarrassing to say the least.

Tossing his towel to the side, Logan took a step closer to the wall of masks hanging in his bedroom. Reaching out, he plucked the robotic looking mask off of the wall and gripped it tight, so there wouldn’t be any chance of him accidentally dropping it.

It was cold, and now that he was touching it he could tell that it actually felt like metal that had been welded together. The blue emotionless eyes that stared back where made of hard glass that, had he been wearing it, would have cloaked the world before him in a tint of icy blue.

“Logan-” Despair jerked himself up to his feet, terror thrumming around in his body.

“I used to wear this one a lot,” Logan chuckled almost humorlessly, 

“Not physically, mind you… but emotionally. When I thought that it would make the others listen to me more, when I thought that was what was needed of me, and…when I learned that they didn’t care for what I had to say no matter how much I was trying to help.” 

Oh yes, Logan could remember those moments quite well, and how he shoved down those feelings with the singular thought that…he didn’t really care, he didn’t have emotions so what was the point in acting like anything that they did had hurt him?

He was fine.

“I’m not exactly sure who I want to be, yet,” Logan quickly admitted, all of the words now rushing out since Despair not only wasn’t stopping him but was letting him just speak. “I know that it’s foolish of me to pretend to be the same as I was before I took this step, that I’ll never be the Logic that the others...and Thomas want from me again. So I think…” Logan nervously swallowed, as he gripped the mask in his hands that much tighter. “No more masks...not now, not ever.”

And just like that, the tension bled out of Despair’s rigid form.

“Okay,” A hand found its way to his shoulder. “What do you have in mind?”

[darksidedlogic]

Despair stared blandly forward at the carpet, at his place scrunched up by Logan’s bathroom door listening to the sound of the shower that had been running for the past fifteen minutes. 

Considering the state that Logan had arrived back in, covered in mud and sorely needing that shower, he wouldn’t be too surprised should the logical side decide to stay in there for hours to come just to rid himself of even the memory of the mud that had dried in messy patches all over the logical side’s body. 

A part of him wanted to ingrain that moment into his mind’s eye, of Logan coming back...of choosing to come back to them even though he clearly would have a better existence being with Roman…another light side. 

He had come back to them, and even though Logan had explained why, Despair kind of didn’t get it.

What weakness had made him come back? 

Had it been something that Deceit had said? Remus? It couldn’t have been him,

 not with the way that he had attempted to punch first and questions never.

But even so…

That still didn’t explain why he was still here…

Deceit had left already, probably going back to Remus so that they could both sleep. He could imagine it, 

Remus curled around Deceit like a protective dragon guarding it’s hoard of treasures. It was almost sweet in a weird tooth decaying way…to know that Remus of all people even had his weaknesses, even if it was just one person, and even if that one person cared enough about Remus to be completely and utterly vulnerable to them at a time when it would be the easiest to strike them down and-

“Despair?”

The side in question felt his head snap up at the voice, before he instantly went to bury his face in his hands giving Logan the privacy that had completely passed his mind when he had decided to stay. He had hardly even noticed that the sound of the shower had stopped, and even more so that Logan had just stepped out of the bathroom toweling off his wet hair as he stared curiously down at the dark side who had remained in his bedroom.

A furious heat blistered Despair’s insides, racing up his stomach and to his face and the very tips of his ears. He was silent in his embarrassment, aside from the hissing exhale that whistled from behind his teeth.

“It’s quite alright…I am dressed.” He could tell that Logan was trying not to laugh, he could hear the amusement in his voice as he took everything in.

Somehow that made everything so much worse.

Puffing out his cheeks and attempting to scrape together whatever dignity he had left, Despair wrenched his head up looked back at Logan. As if that would show him that-

Oh.

Ohohohoh…

Logan looked different.

And just like that, the heat in his face was back.

[darksidedlogic]

Mod Shay:

Next answer done and written!

[darksidedlogic]

Mod Shay:

I have the next answer planned out! Just pray that I don't die of sleep deprivation before I can write it!!

[darksidedlogic]

Mod Sensey:

Logan: You know... I think I need a change with my wardrobe.

Thomas, happy enough to see what Logan would want: Oh yeah, how so?

Logan, staring dead at the other sides: *flips his blue tie over so that it's orange*

Roman: Oh no.

Logan, grinning sharply: Oh yeah.

[darksidedlogic]

Mod Shay:

It's more like Roman is saying: "Even if they're not in your corner, you've got me. And I'm not goin anywhere. I'm your bitch, bitch."

And that can be as shippy as you both want and don't want it to be.

He's gonna be Logan's best friend, even if it kills him.

ooh!! pride roman would be very fun i feel

Mod Shay:

Honestly, if I did do pride Roman, he wouldn’t be that much different than normal Roman. Aside from his wardrobe change to show his allegiance (*ahem* support of Logan and his choices). He’d have black mascara running down his cheeks, just like Logan’s black tears. His theme would be red and black, instead of red and white. His sash would be more ripped up and resemble more of a hood that just hangs off of his shoulders, along with big ol boots that go up past his knees to stomp on anyone who tries to hurt his friends. He’d still have his sword with him, although more prominently wearing it on his back for easy access. 

The biggest change though would be the shield he carries, for the sole purpose of protecting himself and Logan from anything and everything.

[darksidedlogic]

Do you think pride!roman would get along with despair?// Despair: I'm a mess// roman: you may be a stressed and repressed mess but at least we have the same face, which makes you beautiful ùwú// despair: thanks???

Mod Shay: 

He’d... make an attempt since Logan seems to get along with him somewhat. Despair would put up a pretty big fight against befriending him, since Roman is well... Roman and in this Pride Roman universe he only became a dark side for Logan. So in Despair’s mindset, there would be no rational reason for Roman to befriend anyone but Logan. 

So he’d fight back. 

Especially when it comes to Roman trying to give him fashion advice. 

[darksidedlogic]

ooh!! pride roman would be very fun i feel

Mod Shay:

Honestly, if I did do pride Roman, he wouldn’t be that much different than normal Roman. Aside from his wardrobe change to show his allegiance (*ahem* support of Logan and his choices). He’d have black mascara running down his cheeks, just like Logan’s black tears. His theme would be red and black, instead of red and white. His sash would be more ripped up and resemble more of a hood that just hangs off of his shoulders, along with big ol boots that go up past his knees to stomp on anyone who tries to hurt his friends. He’d still have his sword with him, although more prominently wearing it on his back for easy access. 

The biggest change though would be the shield he carries, for the sole purpose of protecting himself and Logan from anything and everything.

[darksidedlogic]

What if-- and I'm just throwing this out there-- roman becomes a dark side

Mod Sensey: pride roman.

[darksidedlogic]

Are you guys alright? Of course don't rush anything at all and don't feel any pressure to do anything, but it's been a while. I'm a bit concerned 3:

Mod Sensey: yeah, it has... Shay's having their own personal stuff going on, while I'm just watching bbc sherlock.

I cannot really tell when we'll update the story yet. Sorry...

[darksidedlogic]

Hey I know it’s been a while since Logan came back, but we were never shown Roman’s reaction to Logan wanting to go back to the dark sides? Was he angry? Did he beg Logan to stay longer or to come back? Or was he understanding and just let Logan go!

Mod Sensey: it's... complicated.

[darksidedlogic]

(Also, sorry, I just assumed you had a lot of asks and didn't want to be a bother)

Mod Sensey: we need em.

[darksidedlogic]

Mod Sensey: asks plz QvQ

[darksidedlogic]

So are we allowed to send asks again?

Mod Shay: Yup! I've officially got a new computer so any asks that are sent will be answered!

[darksidedlogic]

Mod Sensey:

Toot toot 🎉🎉🎉

[darksidedlogic]

Mod Sensei is there something wrong with Despair going between pronouns? From what I've seen, its a pretty normal thing for the sides to have other pronouns in the fandom.

Mod Sensey:

Anon how was I supposed to know my baby was a demiboy/non-binary bean?