darthstitch
darthstitch
The Blanket Fort
7K posts
Her Furryness, Darth Stitch, Evil Blue Alien Half-Vampiric Genetic Experiment. I am a fuzzy blue alien wandering the Internet reading and writing fan fiction. The Blanket Fort is a safe haven for a lot of fandoms - classic and new. 
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darthstitch · 9 hours ago
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Cardinal Thomas Lawrence and his dear kutong lupa 😍😍😍
Protective.
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darthstitch · 9 hours ago
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FINE.
All of you are busy burying us all in Lawrenitez angst, Imma writing out that Vincent Benitez Aswang Hunter AU.
Also, I'm making Thomas Lawrence a Castlevania-style dhampir (hohoho). THE FANDOMS SHALL CRACK AND CROSSOVER!
😈😈😈
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darthstitch · 3 days ago
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Vincent Benitez is normally serene, unflappable, very much zen and true to his name.
That is, unless he's around his favorite niece, Erika Ranielle Benitez aka Ikay.
(This is the little bebe's mom, btw)
He practically helped raise her so she considers him pretty much her positive parental male role model.
Also, she has a mischievous streak and a gaydar like nothing else, so she clocked her Tito Enteng's feelings for Dean Thomas in less than 2 minutes.
(At this point, Thomas Lawrence has yet to be adopted by the Benitez clan.)
Therefore: "Haaayst. Daig mo pa ako, Tito Enteng. Naunahan mo pa ako magka boyfriend na AFAM." (Loosely translated: when your uncle the Pope has a better lovelife than you.)
Vincent: HUY!!!!! 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️😨🫠😭😱
Thomas is watching everything with GREAT INTEREST and amusement, even though he's yet to understand Tagalog at this point.
Ikay: Luh, Tito Enteng, namumula ka. (Uncle Enteng, you're red!)
Vincent: DAHIL SA KUNSUMISYON! (😡😡😡)
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darthstitch · 4 days ago
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Conclave - Robert Harris, Conclave (2024) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Vincent Benítez/Thomas Lawrence (Conclave), Aldo Bellini/Goffredo Tedesco (Conclave) Characters: Vincent Benítez (Conclave), Thomas Lawrence (Conclave), Aldo Bellini (Conclave), Goffredo Tedesco (Conclave), Raymond O'Malley (Conclave) Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Humor, A Side Order of Bellesco, Filipino Vincent Benitez, No Real Life Filipino Cardinals Were Harmed in the Making of this Fic, Bless Me Father For I Have Cracked, Kapre at Kalbo Series: Part 2 of The CheekyNene Chronicles Summary:
AKA EVERYONE is so confused about the Pope and his Dean but the kilig feels are real.
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darthstitch · 4 days ago
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Vincent Benitez doing the Pinoy thing of pointing at things with his lips.
Thomas Lawrence finding this so cute that he gets a severe case of gigil and kisses him.
Vincent: 😊🤭🥰
Thomas: 🥰😍😘 *steals another kiss*
The Witnesses: 🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
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darthstitch · 4 days ago
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What Vincent Benitez sees when he's with Thomas Lawrence.
Also Vincent B:
Kawawa naman si mahal, he's working too hard.
Starts meal planning.
Thomas Jacopo Lomeli Lawrence, you WILL start taking care of yourself more because I plan on celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary together, do you understand me?
Thomas Lawrence: Yes, dearest. *and sensibly enjoys whatever it is Vincent cooked because it's delicious and he's a wise husband*
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darthstitch · 4 days ago
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darthstitch · 5 days ago
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an interlude: the mystery broship
The following conversation happened, as filmed by Thomas Lawrence, who was, at last doing a better job of figuring out his smartphone.
(It helped that he was already officially adopted as "Tito Tomas" by Vincent's gaggle of nephews and nieces.)
"No mushrooms?" Pope Innocent's... innocent expression was practically perfect, except for the gleam of mischief in those dark eyes.
"NO!" Expansive Italian gestures. "This is a proper Italian carbonara! Guanciale, eggs, pecorino romano - no mushrooms! Would you put that Filippine garum in...." He paused.
"Terrible example," Thomas murmured, from behind the camera. "Patis goes with nearly everything in the Philippines."
"You are not helping, Tommasino! Talk some sense to your sposo, eh?" Goffredo Tedesco paused and took in their faces. "What? Was I not there at your wedding in the Manila Cathedral?"
"San Agustin," The other two responded, not missing a beat. And then, all three of them laughed.
"Who are you and what have you done with Goffredo Tedesco?" Thomas wheezed, wiping away tears of hilarity. The video, at this point, was shaking and he finally had the presence of mind to put the phone down.
"I think I still have the rites of exorcism memorized," Vincent chortled.
"Do you think," Goffredo said conversationally, "I have sent my dear Aldino's blood pressure soaring? Again?"
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darthstitch · 5 days ago
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Writing this down before I forget:
Vincent's great niece, name to be decided, gets away from her designated babysitter and toddles up to Tito Tomas while he's reading the Gospel for that day's Mass.
She's about 2 and a half at this point, but surprisingly well behaved for a tot. She just wants to cling to one of her favorite uncles and has fisted her tiny hands near the bottom part of his robes.
Tito Tomas doesn't miss a beat. He smiles and just gently puts down a hand to caress her head.
Vincent, sitting in the papal throne near the altar, also smiles and beckons to her and she toddles over to her other favorite uncle and eventually settles on his lap so they can listen.
People laugh softly at the rapt expression on her little face as she first listens to Tito Tomas and then, later, to Tito Papa Enteng as he delivers his homily.
She happily goes with Tito Tomas when it's Tito Papa Enteng's turn to take the mic for that homily and can be seen mouthing the ritual Latin words along with him when he ends it.
Those in the crowd who can hear her baby voice are charmed and amused. She obviously hasn't got all the words yet (and she's growing up around adults with a LOT of different languages) but she's close enough and will eventually get there.
Look, she regularly makes the internet explode with cuteness. I need a name for her though - I had one in mind but I feel like a change is better. Any ideas?
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darthstitch · 6 days ago
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Officially, the Papal Household has yet to recover from the Filipino Carbonara Incident.
There were exactly two people who actually liked Pope Innocent XIV's Filipino carbonara.
One of them was Cardinal Thomas Lawrence - to no one's surprise. He was, of course, initially skeptical, the Italian half of his heritage protesting in abject horror. However, all of his Italian ancestors fell silent at the first bite.
He actually had seconds and the pleased, beaming grin Vincent directed at him had nothing to do with the happy butterflies making his heart beat faster.
Somewhere in his subconscious, one of his Lomeli nonnas smiled wisely and said, "L’amore si misura in piatti cucinati." (Love is measured in cooked dishes)
The second person who actually enjoyed His Holiness' carbonara, was, of all people, Cardinal Goffredo Tedesco.
He shrugged as he ate the whole thing up with relish. "What? He never said it was a proper Italian carbonara! Let Sua Santità cook what he wants in his own cucina, eh?"
(This last remark may or may not have sent Cardinal Aldo Bellini composing his proposal to nominate the Pope for sainthood. This had to be a genuine, heaven-sent miracle.)
Sister Agnes had wisely set aside a corner in the kitchens for Pope Innocent and the sisters cheerfully kept the cupboards and fridge stocked with Filipino grocery and market staples. They smiled and greeted His Holiness whenever he wandered there. There were constant exchanges of recipes and kitchen tips.
There may or may not have been some candid shots uploaded to social media of a certain Supreme Pontiff believing himself incognito, wandering off to market with the sisters and at least one slightly nervous but still amused Dean.
A Twitter/X user basically tweeted this reaction: OMG THEY ARE SO DOMESTIC SEND HELP 😭😭😭
It was only a matter of time before someone took videos of Pope Innocent cooking (and making sure a certain Dean was well-fed, because honestly, mahal, it's no trouble at all, someone has to keep you from looking like a perpetually exhausted and hungry pigeon...).
Yes, there were actual videos.
Yes, they were uploaded.
Yes, Monsignor Ray caught the culprits but nobody got excommunicated since they all had the sense to edit the videos, clearly taken with a lot of affection for the parties involved.
Several things happened:
The videos, obviously, went viral. The entire planet adored seeing the tiny figure of Pope Innocent XIV cooking. Usually, he was out of his normal papal whites and was instead wearing the light blue barong favored by Filipino priests with the clerical collar and an apron.
A certain Secretary of State may or may not have watched a specific video several times, blushing like an infatuated schoolboy. Said video featured Cardinal Tedesco showing Pope Innocent how to cook "a proper Italian carbonara" and generally acting like actual siblings from another mother.
Sister Agnes revealed a complete diabolical streak when she commented that "This is Thomas' favorite - something his nonna used to make" when it was her turn to "guest star" in what the Internet now referred to as "Heaven's Kitchen." The blush on a certain Supreme Pinoytifex's face was meme-worthy.
The video of Pope Innocent teaching Cardinal Lawrence how to use a rice cooker got a reaction from YouTube's Uncle Roger, who commented: "Ohhh.... Pope Innocent true Asian. He teach Cardinal well. Yes, you wash the rice two times and use rice cooker, very easy. Fui-yoohhhh. Now you teach Cardinal Lawrence how to cook garlic rice. Don't forget MSG!"
TBC
@frogguchi this one's for you
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darthstitch · 7 days ago
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*raises paw*
Can we refer to Bellesco as Kapre and Kalbo?
Pls lang? 😭😭😭
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darthstitch · 7 days ago
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WIP
The only thing saving this situation, Cardinal Aldo Bellini decided, was that apparently, the rest of the world was lowkey shipping the two idiots in question.
(God bless and help them.)  
Yes, he's probably earned a few extra decades of the rosary as a penance for that, but, really, could the good Lord blame him?
Personally, he would not put it past Himself/Herself to be up to some serious mischief, drawing out this story with Their legendary crooked lines.  
Monsignor Ray had already created a group chat which included Vincent's Vatican household and the gaggle of nieces and nephews back in the Philippines.  Aldo was somewhere between being awed and aghast at how rapidly the gossip was being shared.  
(Also, with much the same mix of feelings, he also found himself easily picking up on the Filipino slang, which amused his friends but also thoroughly bewildered the rest, such as a certain Patriarch from Venice.)
For today's video (Q.E.D., God save him), they were in the cafeteria, ostensibly on a working lunch.  They were all swamped by various kinds of paperwork - homilies, emails, forms etc. - and it was with some amusement that Aldo watched Vincent pull along a surprisingly compliant Thomas:  "Mahal, you need to eat something - you haven't had breakfast today."
And Thomas' absent-minded response, eyes still on his notebook (they would get him to use a tablet, eventually):  "Yes, dearest."
Look, Aldo Maria Niccolo Giovanni Bellini knew good and goddamn well what Thomas Lawrence's middle names were (a nod to his Italian heritage, even if the British half was annoyingly dominant most of the time) and mahal was certainly not one of them.  This was not the first time Vincent and Thomas apparently forgot they had an audience, which included several of the Filipino clergy turning pink/red and hiding delighted chortles behind their hands.  
The last time this had happened, Aldo's "favorite" of his brothers in Christ had nudged him and muttered, "Aldino, what is this new name of Tommasino's from His Holiness eh?  Is it like the way you call me, what is that, pesteng yawa?"
Aldo had just turned away from the currently strawberry-scented Patriarch of Venice (that stupid vape)  just to quietly find the nearest pillar to gently bump his head against.  
-tbc-
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darthstitch · 7 days ago
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Idek HOW but I am fast falling for the idea of Benitez and Tedesco becoming BESTIES.
Not a slash ship. Like actual, platonic, legit bros friendship.
They do have fundamentally opposing theological views but they SOMEHOW find common ground.
So Benitez teaches Teds how to speak Tagalog and HE gets a distinctive Venetian flair to his Italian in return. There is a Thing that happens that cements their friendship (a Thing that is hazily assembling itself in my brain god help me) and the ONLY other one in their circle who knows the deets is Lawrence and he's like NOPE IM NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
omg send help it's the benitez-tedesco mystery broship 😭😭😭
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darthstitch · 8 days ago
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All this tomfoolery makes Tedesco secretly start learning Tagalog in self defense.
And then he gives Aldo a heart attack when he says, "Mahal din kita, Aldino, inamong kalbo ka."
(He gets the accent perfectly, like a Tondo tambay.)
Vincent: *virtuosly sipping at his Sarsi* I didn't teach him to swear, Thomas....
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darthstitch · 9 days ago
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Lawrenitez is the ship I will OTP... but Bellesco is DEFINITELY the ship I stubbed my toe over.
Tanginang yan.
😂😅😭
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darthstitch · 9 days ago
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The Lawrenitez Situationship
aka EVERYONE is so confused about the Pope and his Dean but the kilig feels are real
Monsignor Ray regularly keeps the Benitez Clan updated on the latest chismis and he's just in awe when THEY updated HIM on the Infamous Harana Incident
Sister Agnes has given up and just has Sister Maritess add Pinoy grocery/market staples to the kitchen supplies.
Okay, so Vincent got into her good graces by asking her to teach him some classic French and Italian recipes. SOMEBODY needs to feed the Dean and it seems he REALLY likes Vincent's cooking.
NOBODY calls out the two eejiots when they are heard absently singing OPMs to themselves or just do an inadvertent duet.
Even the TURTLES are apparently shipping it. Pong Pagong seems especially attached to Dean Lawrence, conveniently plodding into him for cute points (e.g. when Vincent can witness it)
Old married couple mental telepathy
Vincent completely forgetting himself and calling Thomas "Mahal" instead of his ACTUAL name in front of the Vatican gang and Thomas also forgetting himself and ANSWERING to it.
Tedesco giving Aldo Bellini a bewildered look and asking if "mahal" is the same as "pesteng yawa" and Aldo is just DONE. COOKED. AUGGHHH.
Casual, frequent touches to hands and shoulders and arms and everyone is like OMG JUST KISS FFS.
Are those actual CHIKININI?!!! We beg your FINEST PARDON?!!
Both of them looking happy and glowing and laughing frequently together.
Vincent's little great niece asking "Tito Tomas" if he loves her Tito Enteng and getting an "Of course, I love him, sweetheart. Very much."
Vincent's niece (Baby girl's mom) livestreaming this moment back to the Philippines causing kilig meltdown
And then both of them looking askance at everyone and demurring with a bewildered, "We're just...best friends?"
Aldo: Tangina. 😤😤😤
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darthstitch · 10 days ago
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The Portrait of Pope Innocent XIV and Cardinal Lawrence (2025)
An homage to Jacques-Louis David's 1808 portrait of Pope Pius VII and Cardinal Caprara during Napoleon's coronation that depicted the Pope's stressful moment as he was forced by Napoleon to travel to Paris.
In this piece I envision that Pope Innocent XIV’s papacy faces some resistance from the traditionalist faction and the weight of it is evident on both their faces.
He wears the Roman chasuble (I used elements of the design by Lisy Christl) and Lawrence wears his pectoral cross (by Riccardo Penko) pinned to his cassock in order to appease the opposition by superficially adopting traditional aesthetics while he implements Church reforms, inspired by the real life reception of Pope Leo XIV by online Trads despite very clearly continuing Pope Francis’s legacy. 
Vincent was also “forced” into the papal throne when he was elected Pope, leaving behind his flock in Kabul, adding to his melancholy.
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This will be in my Comic Frontier 21 prints catalog, and is the first in a series of art history inspired Conclave fan art that I have planned for a future personal zine project. International sales and shipping for my other prints are still in the works, but I'll post an update once all is set!
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Here's the BTS process with the original paintings by Jacques-Louis David and what the photobash recreation looks like underneath the painting layers.
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