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Once again thinking about this manga panel, but not because of eepy Chuuya this time. (though that's usually why asdfhjk)

But because Dazai, who was previously knelt down and teasing Chuuya, completely relaxed now that the fight is done, stands up as soon as John emerges from the trees.

John who is an enemy, who even though he's unarmed is an ability user who could still easily attack Chuuya and comes into the clearing behind Chuuya.

Chuuya who is too tired and worn to defend himself right now, Chuuya who has a weakness to attacks from behind and surprise attacks.

And Dazai stands up, he plays it off nonchalantly, but he's alert because an enemy has just appeared and could decide to attack them if he wanted to. If he wanted vengeance for his fallen comrade. So Dazai stands and he leans towards Chuuya, ready to shield him from an attack from an ability when he's practically defenceless.

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Just imagining after missions skk grabbing food together. Dazai not ordering enough (cuz he doesn’t really like eating) and so Chuuya orders some extra and then shares it under the guise that he’s really annoyed Dazai is taking his food. It’s how he gets Dazai to eat more even when he can’t be bothered to argue about it.

Chuuya usually over-orders a bit anyway. Call it a symptom of still remembering what it felt like to be starving, wholly empty, at the age of 7, or even in the years following, after food had become much more stable for him (which isn’t saying a lot when you started out not knowing what bread was), when he still couldn’t quite eat his fill. 

Now that money wasn’t an issue, food wasn’t either. Except that his shitty partner insisted on eating like a bird rather than a boy. No wonder he was so scrawny. And yet, why was Chuuya the one still not growing? It wasn’t fair. 

There was always that loophole though, without arguing, or with only pretending to argue, if Chuuya let Dazai steal some of his food then acted annoyed, mysteriously Dazai would eat til he was so full he complained. Chuuya tried not to smirk too obviously at that, whenever he attained his goal, covered it with a vindictive laugh instead and a “that’s what you get for stealing my food” as if that wasn’t the intent the whole time. This was one thing he wasn’t sure even Dazai had figured out, after all this wouldn’t be a natural assumption to make based off their relationship. And if Dazai knew, then Chuuya wasn’t sure he’d still play along. So turns out the teenager didn’t know everything. Go fucking figure.

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Murase (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Baggage, Dead Flags Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs), Mentioned Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), also dead (sorry), graveyards and grief, Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, hopefully?, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Soft Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), POV Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), POV Third Person Limited, Tattoos, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Healing, Pondering the meaning of life, As One Does Summary:

“Guess I’ll be seeing you around,” Chuuya muttered.

“Yes, I’m sure I’ll be hearing more of you.”

Chuuya rolled his eyes. “You can deal with it, bastard. Not like it’ll kill your pretty, dying plants.”

“Aaww! You think my plants are pretty?!”

Chuuya groaned as if physically pained.

“You’re right that they’re already dying from the moment they’re cut, but they’re so beautiful even as they’re dying! Isn’t it so poetic?”

The door to Chuuya’s tattoo shop slammed shut harder than Dazai thought a door like that could. A smile crept onto Dazai’s face as he looked down at his pretty, dying flowers and the memory of Chuuya’s voice was finally clear in his head again.

A flower shop x tattoo artist AU in which Dazai and Chuuya reunite years after they grew apart in their troubled youth. Somehow, they've both made it to the world of the light, but will they be able to rebuild the bond they once relied on?

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A Ramble about Phase 19 of the Fifteen Manga Ft. Storm Bringer spoilers

Just absolutely cannot get over the 15 manga. I love the light novel so much, but this manga adaptation is so ridiculously amazing. Dazai and Chuuya’s proximity/touching has been amazing of course. I adore the way Hoshikawa draws Dazai and Chuuya as well (my baby boys, especially Chuuya). But these last two chapters with Rimbaud and Verlaine. Like, fuck. The whole “At least, one of them felt that way,” part just hits so much harder in the manga for me, with the art and page placement. And this whole most recent chapter. Like firstly, you don’t have to end every chapter with like Chuuya getting stabbed okay, help me out here.

Comparing the last page of phase 18 with Verlaine and the first page of phase 19 with Chuuya makes it so obvious that Rimbaud is seeing the similarities between them with just that parallel, which is confirmed later with Rimbaud quite literally seeing Verlaine standing behind Chuuya. 

Not to mention in phase 18 the “That’s right Paul, I remember you,” in conjunction with him seeing Verlaine in Chuuya.

Then that flashback with Verlaine carrying Chuuya and Chuuya’s just so small I could cry.

Like, I knew he was small, but he's just so young, I can't. People were experimenting on him. Like, how??

The way Rimbaud wants to ask Chuuya something and Chuuya crouches down to him. Which leads to Rimbaud putting a hand around Chuuya as he tells him to live. How close and personal they are when Rimbaud says all of this just make it feel so much more impactful for Chuuya. Kinda love too that Chuuya isn't just standing over Rimbaud. He's making it obvious he's open to listening.

Rimbaud says a lot of shitty things to Chuuya up to this point, even complaining that he has to kill a kid while only referring to Dazai, completely not acknowledging Chuuya as anything more than Arahabaki. But once he fully remembers what happened with Verlaine, I feel like that’s when Rimbaud remembers what he truly believed about Verlaine and his humanity and how that extends to Chuuya’s humanity. Because Rimbaud’s whole final speech is most definitely things he’d also thought of or told Verlaine before (as I think is confirmed in SB). I think those are Rimbaud’s true thoughts and beliefs on the matter, it just took that long for him to remember the full story and how he felt about it all. Rimbaud saw Verlaine’s struggles with humanity, and now he also remembers why Verlaine betrayed him. And so he tells Chuuya to live, just as Verlaine wanted him to back then, live without the burden of worrying about your humanity or where you came from, because “you are you.” It doesn’t matter if Chuuya (and Verlaine) “are but a pattern etched on the surface of raw power.” In Rimbaud’s mind, and honestly where we eventually end up at the end of SB, is that it really doesn’t matter what your origins are, whether someone is an artificial personality (aka pattern) etched onto raw power, because really everything is some version of a pattern upon the world. And in a word with abilities, a lot of people are a pattern connected to a power. Just as in SB Chuuya decides that even though Adam isn’t human and he knows it, it doesn’t take away from Adam’s actions, his sacrifices, or his dreams. Same goes for Chuuya and Verlaine. Their origins don't affect how human they truly are. Their humanity is significant no matter what. It just took a bit more convincing for Chuuya to get there, a little more than what Rimbaud could offer on his (almost) deathbed.

Anyway, Chuuya holding Rimbaud’s hand as he dies just does things to me. Like, the book described that “Both Chuuya and Dazai quietly listened as if there was something in what Randou (Rimbaud) was saying that they couldn’t allow themselves to miss… Some things, however, would not return to normal: the body of a man who no longer felt the cold, and the hearts of two boys who stood rooted to the spot, staring at him. A gust of wind peered through their souls as it passed them by.”

This page just so well depicts that last line. It truly feels these boys have heard something so monumental, that they won’t ever forget. Standing in the aftermath of their first fight together, hearing these words about humanity that both mean so much to both of them. Dazai’s expressions really convey this to me in the manga, and convey it just so beautifully. And Chuuya being so close to Rimbaud when he speak those words just makes it feel like those words truly are so monumental for him. And also this means that Chuuya fought to kill a man, that to be entirely fair and clear was trying to kill him first, and then held to his hand as he dies, and there’s just something about this added detail that’s so significant to me in portraying the weight of it on Chuuya. Chuuya's connection to Rimbaud is a complicated but important one. But really these words are important for both boys, because let’s not forget that Dazai also struggles with his humanity. Even if he doesn’t have a physical reason to doubt his humanity, like Chuuya, there are many other reasons that he does doubt it. So hearing that all people and all of humanity are really just patterns within the physical world, human or not that’s true of everyone and everything, and that’s important for Dazai to hear too. I think both boys think back to Rimbaud’s final speech quite a bit, if I’m being honest or did for a while.

I am NOT getting over the detail that someone (Chuuya??) put Rimbaud’s scarf on his grave. I just… it does something to me and I love that detail so much. And cutting back to that “You are you” line while Chuuya’s talking to the grave is just so perfect in my opinion, and again just shows the significance of it so, so well. It’s like, he's talking to Rimbaud, complaining about his actions really, and then it cuts to that “you are you” and it just shows almost the contrast I guess between Chuuya feeling unrest at not finding stuff about his past that Rimbaud could’ve given him, but maybe wouldn’t have anyway, and Rimbaud’s statement that those things don’t matter because Chuuya is who he is beyond all that. Also the little dandelion blowing into the wind, to me also signifying a wish being spread.

Anyway, entirely unnecessary to end the chapter with a big knife in Chuuya’s back, thanks. Especially after Chuuya mentions how he’s still exhausted from everything. Like let’s just, stop, please.

He's just a boy, leave him alone for the sake of all things good.

[daydreamalley]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Stormbringer Light Novel Spoilers (Bungou Stray Dogs), Post-Stormbringer Light Novel (Bungou Stray Dogs), Soukoku | Double Black (Bungou Stray Dogs), Mafia Soukoku | Double Black (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Post-Corruption Ability Use (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya Has Corruption Scars (Bungou Stray Dogs), didn't realize that was a tag but very applicable, Nakahara Chuuya Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), but when doesn't he?, Caring Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Direct aftermath of Stormbringer final battle, and then some 17 y/o skk, Blood and Injury, But Nothing Too Bad, Teenage Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Summary:

“Huh, I guess it did burn after all,” the sentence slipped out unbidden, as Dazai reached a finger out to tentatively, near reverently, brush one of the scars curving under Chuuya’s shoulder blades.

Chuuya shivered under the touch before jerking his head around. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Dazai weighed whether he should acknowledge the scars any further, especially given the new bleeding hole in Chuuya’s shoulder just waiting to scar, but he supposed Chuuya deserved to know, and maybe a distraction would do them both some good. “The wings, when you activated Corruption against Verlaine… you had wings of black flame.”

What if the black flame wings Chuuya had during Corruption burned him? He and Dazai confront the scars left behind after a mission gone wrong.

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absolute peak dumbassery aside, I'm just kind of obsessed with the sokouku interactions this chapter?

like typically we get them thrown together in immensely high intensity situations that require such an extreme level of performance and no-nonsense displays of brilliance that this was just....so great? idk seeing them just kind of existing together in the aftermath and working through a low stakes issue (however hilariously poor their solution is) has me reeling

like no pretense chuuya can comfort dazai "just quit your worrying" and dazai can acknowledge that he's right without the over the top performative rivalry

it feels like such an important facet of their relationship to see

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I keep telling myself to space out my posts but my impatient ass refuses to

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right now the chp113 posts are divided into two

the “THEY SMACKED HIM INTO THE GROUND. 15 TIMES. 15 GODDAMN TIMES. HE IS NOT. WAKING UP.”

and the “HOW OLD IS THIS RAT???”

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Like, we all just know none of us are ever getting over that Dazai and Chuuya tried to wake a stabbed Sigma by ping-ponging him across the room. Icons. Just this entire scene

“… nothing.” Yeah no shit this is your 15th time dropping him and we just thought he’d magically wake up this time? Dazai then finally proposing “maybe he’s sleep deprived” as if that is a viable reason for a person to not wake up after all this. Dumbassery at its peak

And Dazai acknowledging that Chuuya is right about his take about how Dazai feels right now. Ugh, just these small scenes with them where they can just casually talk to each other and do crazy shit together as if it’s normal and they just still know each other so well. Little glimpses into what their partnership was like, and honestly is still like, and how well they just work together, how natural it is to exist beside one another

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this is such a fucked panel to end on. the raw shock, mourning, loss on his face. aya’s triumphant words having no idea what just took place. he’s going to have to go on pushing all of this down. his best friend is dead, and he has to say he’s the one who killed him.

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[ID: An edited "I think I forgot something" meme with Fukuzawa and Fukuchi. The last panel is edited to have wan Dazai's face over the kid in the rain, staring blankly ahead with a smile. End ID.]

I can't believe Fukuzawa just forgot about Dazai in Meursault

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poor sigma’s gonna wake up all fucked up and skk are just gonna lie straight to his face (by ssk i mean mainly dazai while chuuya watches)

Sigma: God my head hurts..

Dazai: Oh yeah that’s gotta be from all those memories you saw, that’s the only logical explanation.

Sigma: You’re probably right .. why am I so sore?

Dazai: Well you did get stabbed, plus your ability may have taken a physical toll on you too.

Sigma: Right .. but why am I covered in bruises .. ?

Dazai: …

Dazai: You started sleepwalking.

Chuuya: Jesus Fucking Christ

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honestly this whole thing with fyodor could go two different ways... either he's Actually Dead (which i doubt but it's not impossible considering asagiri kills adults every now and then) but his backstory and plan will continue to affect the narrative (or maybe even Has Been Affecting It without us knowing it was all him) which could be interesting at least imo since i love that kind of thing, OR he's somehow still alive. as we all know in a lot of media if you don't see the corpse they're not dead and with bsd you truly never know ESPECIALLY with a character that literally rivals dazai in terms of intellect. either way i'm excited

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I’m screaming. We get skk interaction!! And they’re just such idiots. They see Sigma passed out and decide to drop him FIFTEEN TIMES. And then finally decide he’s not waking up. I just imagine Dazai going, “okay, do it again,” And Chuuya just sighs and does it again. Chuuya just wants to get out of here. They’re so tired, what few braincells they had are gone. They are THE Double Black, full adults now, but they never grow out of stupid.

Here I thought Chuuya was gonna go easy on Sigma knowing he’s had to deal with Dazai, but no, Chuuya is now complicit in the shenanigans

Also hey, why isn’t Dazai in Fukuzawa’s thoughts of the detective agency? (Does Fukuzawa not consider him a son? Is he like ‘well that one’s in prison and could probably survive an apocalypse so he’ll be fine”? Or are there more serious reasons? Or no reasons at all?)

And to all the Fyodor stuff. What the fuck?!? I can’t believe it. Wonder if he was the one that stabbed Bram with the special sword the first time? Do the timelines even line up for that?

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The fact that there’s only one time in Chuuya’s life that Corruption was activated (outside of the lab) where Dazai wasn’t there in the aftermath and that was when Chuuya was just 7 years old and left in the crater of the explosion he created, in so much pain and with gravity probably still fluctuating around him. Nothing but complete destruction, hell on earth, and suffering for a seven-year-old child.

Chuuya is never in good shape after he uses Corruption, and I imagine he wasn’t in good shape after he used the full force of Arahabaki (and by used I mean when it was forced out of him due to Rimbaud). And like, we’ve seen Chuuya close Verlaine’s gate when he defeated the Beast of Guivre, and it left Verlaine close to death (though I also imagine that’s in part due to the fact Verlaine isn’t really human), and we also saw earlier on in Storm Bringer when Verlaine opened Corruption for only a second and then closed the gate that Chuuya was in agony, left to suffer in the hell of what was left of the street he’d been on. 

That scene of Chuuya lying on the ground in what used to be an alleyway in excruciating pain is already hard to read, and he’s 16 then (still so young) but at least Dazai still comes (even though he doesn’t technically have to) and nullifies the aftershocks of Chuuya’s ability that are causing him so much pain. Causing him to suffer.

But imagine Chuuya at 7 years old, imagine how small that is, probably in nothing more than a hospital gown, lying in the rubble of the giant crater that will one day become Suribachi city, experiencing all that suffering and probably more. He’s completely alone in the hell of his own ability’s destruction, in unimaginable pain. His frail body that’s been in a lab for so long probably spasming with the pain as he feels the sun for the first time in who knows how long. And there was no one to hold him or catch him or for him to fall into. No one’s lap to rest his head on. No one to hoist him onto their shoulders and carry him away from the carnage. No one to nullify the pain he was in. No one to comfort him or remind him who he was.

What did he probably have to do when he woke up? Wait until he had enough strength to sit up, wait until the dizziness abated enough for him to stand, and through the disorientation walk on his own two feet despite the pain. He’d been through plenty of it after all, even if he couldn’t remember why, his body remembered.

He’d have to piece together any scraps of memory he had. His name probably came first. Then the horrific feeling of the power inside him and that he was probably responsible for the hellscape he was trying to navigate, cutting and scraping his bare feet in the crater of what was.  

Find the corpse of some military personnel that’d been killed in the explosion Arahabaki had caused, far enough away he hadn’t been completely obliterated, and at least steal some of his uniform to wear, though it was much too big for his skinny 7-year-old frame. And the shoes wouldn’t do him any good, they’d just fall off, the jacket already kept slipping off his shoulder.

And then, in that moment, he was perhaps the loneliest person in the world. Not later, when he was 16 and had someone to catch him and someone had just attempted to sacrifice himself for Chuuya. No, then he had a semblance of a family. But when he was 7, that was when he was just alone, and in pain, with no one to reassure him that everything was alright, that nothing was his fault. That his destructive power didn’t make him less human. If anything, he was probably lucky no one with bad intentions found him. 

And then who knows how long later, he’d wandered far enough away from the wreckage, under a bridge where a couple of other kids around his age found him. Still without shoes and in a military uniform far too large for him. Filthy and starving, but having the strength, having the courage to ask a kid “what’s that square thing?” “Tell me what that square thing is in your hand. Right now.” Last ditch effort of demanding, because somehow he still had a strong will. And the kid was just holding a slice of bread. Chuuya just wanted to know if he could eat it. 

Like, can we just talk about the tragedy of that? How truly sad it is that when Chuuya asked “what’s that square thing” and the answer was just bread. Shirase just explaining“I was holding a slice of bread,” and then having to show him that it was edible. Like, my god. And then Chuuya just… faints, on the spot “like he was out of batteries,” as Shirase describes. Finally all his energy and willpower to survive depleted in this moment of hopeful safety. Shirase also says Chuuya looked half dead he was so skinny.

But at least Chuuya had finally found some people who’d given him some food and water. At least Shirase decided to take him to some shelter, even if it was in the sewers. He finally had people, even if they weren’t well off, they had something. Finally he wasn’t alone. And when he learned he had something to offer them in return in the form of his ability? Well, of course he was going to use it to help them.

Also, just, his first memory was of being alone and in pain. Where he is now may not be perfect, but thank god he’s come such a long way and has people and a home and food and luxuries. But like, he just has to live with that every day.

Oh, and mind you, all this was happening to Chuuya close to the end/in the aftermath of the war, which was already a bad time for people, as Murase talks about. He says “But it was the end of the war, and there were supply shortages everywhere you went. Some kids from the Settlement appeared out of nowhere and tried to sneak inside to steal some food.” So on top of Chuuya’s personal struggles, there were shortages of supplies everywhere, bad enough that kids were trying to sneak into military facilities for food. 

So, yeah, this actually massively got away from me, into the territory of hcs and back out again. But like, every time we see Chuuya use Corruption Dazai is around, because he really has to be. And I love that. But just thinking about the one time where Dazai wasn’t around after the full effects of Chuuya’s ability and how that was probably the worst time and Chuuya was only 7 and alone and woke up in the middle of essentially hell on earth with like no memories. It makes me want to scream, and that’s why I wrote this. And then I reread the part in SB where Shirase explains how he met Chuuya and just got even sadder. Fun times fun times.

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A “so you’ve had to deal with Dazai” support group starts. They have to move it every week cuz Dazai constantly wants to listen in. He also tries to bring popcorn too. Chuuya has the idea to get dummies that look like Dazai to beat up (so life like!). Kunikida loves it. Totally not practice for the real thing. Atsushi and Sigma feel bad about how good it actually feels to punch it. Fukuzawa is surprisingly eager. Akutagawa refuses to punch it.

Until Chuuya has a better idea. They start setting traps for Dazai at the meetings, like they're trying to catch the goddamn Road Runner, except they catch him like every time. Dazai is content to hang in the net with what’s left of his snacks and watch the meeting. Until Chuuya gets a big stick (“wow it’s even bigger than you” Dazai calls) and decides Dazai is gonna be a pinata. Chaos ensues, Dazai escapes, cuz as much as they catch him he always escapes. Safe to say the support group ain’t working great. 

They make a support group for the support group. But because Dazai has been witness to so many meetings, he’s allowed to be there too. This turns into couple’s therapy for Dazai and Chuuya (or honestly whoever you ship Dazai with). 

And then he came at me with a stick

We know Dazai, we were all there

I honestly felt so attacked

You were in a net and tried sneaking into a place you shouldn’t be. You wanted to get caught, so you can’t blame me for seizing an opportunity.

No, actually I can blame you. I mean, what have I ever done to you

Excuse me?!?!!

Now now, I’m sure you guys have done a lot for each other over the years

Yeah, like punch me

How about abandonment?

My jaw still aches from that punch

Want me to refresh your memory on it?

We’re never getting the deposit back on this place, are we?

Next up, the “I had to witness Soukoku” Support group. Dazai and Chuuya are not invited. 

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I imagine someone watching Bungo Stray Dogs for the first time like:

A: where are the dogs?

B: It’s a metaphor, they’re all just people

*meets Natsume*

A: Hey a cat!

B: No, that is also a man

But what is the symbolism of the cat man orchestrating these stray dogs’ lives? Is this some cat/dog commentary? That I do not know