deannadmoves

[deannadmoves]

Change

I’m changing my social media and marketing. I no longer feel I can call myself a “yoga” teacher. Yoga, in the US, has taken many twists and turns and has become something I no longer feel I can identify with, completely.

I’m trained in many other styles of movement and Somatic practices, and I feel it’s time to expand upon all of it.

I also have been highly active politically on some platforms, and I feel it’s time for me to separate that from my professional world.

I’m changing the names of most of my accounts to DeannaDMoves. I am also going to change my main twitter page to something more fun/whimsical/just plain silly. I’m open to suggestions.

I have opened a new twitter account for yoga/Aerial/professional services, if you choose to follow it: @DeannaDMoves.

I’m also about to begin pursuit of more Somatic Therapy education, to broaden my understanding and knowledge to better serve those who seek my help.

It’s a major undertaking, to be sure, but one that has been in the works for a long time.

Change is good.

Thanks for listening.

[deannadmoves]

I spend a lot of time observing. I don’t really like conflict, and I am often surrounded by people who have differing opinions to my own..s my defense mechanism is to sit back and just observe. The problem arises when those observations leave me feeling “less than” by the things I have heard and witnessed.

I don’t argue my point in those situations. I feel it is completely useless when the opposing party has labeled you a moron. Instead, I get in my car and give a half-hour lecture to my steering wheel about exactly WHY they’re wrong and exactly WHY I’m right and exactly what the solution is that they’re just too stupid to understand.

Of course, my steering wheel just stares blankly up at me, as I’d imagine my opposition would if I had riled up the courage to actually say what I felt. In that regard, the steering wheel is a good stand in.

This is all well and good, I guess, because I feel I have gotten a few things off of my chest, but I know deep down I’m going to wake up tomorrow with sore gums and contracted masseter muscles from grinding my teeth while I sleep.

There’s so much angst.

There’s the facts...and there’s the other facts...and we choose which lies to believe based on what best fits our narrative, then we vilify those who choose differently.

The thing is, you can’t solve a problem by making the other side the enemy.

Whether it’s me vs you, or us vs them, as soon as you put that white hat on and declare yourself the puritanical hero, you’ve created yet another battle to be fought.

It’s just not that simple.

Have you ever backed a feral cat into a corner? Dollars to donuts it doesn’t just become compliant when you reach for it. More likely, you’re going to need a few stitches and a rabies shot before it’s over.

What if, instead of reaching for that feral cat, you gave it some space and offered it some food? What if you sat back and didn’t intimidate the cat?

In most cases, over time, that cat would begin to relax and let its guard down. Once that happens you’d have a better chance at coaxing him out.

We’ve lost the ability to listen and problem solve because we’re too busy trying to defend ourselves.

It’s our nature to be judgemental; By making others look small it makes us feel big. But perhaps it’s time to triumph over that urge and begin the next phase of our collective evolution. We need to start to cultivate that sense of patience. Perhaps, if we start in our personal relationships, we can move outward to social media, and eventually the rest of the world.

It takes more than one person to make this stuff happen, but it takes one person to decide to change the way the conversation will be.

Be the beacon, not the extinguisher.

[deannadmoves]

I could talk...

I could talk about the time, when I was 19 and went on a date with the rich boy who wore Polo shirts and sweaters and khaki pants and seemed nice. I could tell you how we ended up at the beach behind his house. I could tell you how we sat on a hobie cat and he kissed me and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it but I kissed him back and before I knew it he was on top of me reaching up my skirt to pull my panties off and when I said no he said I owed him for dinner then he was inside me, all the while people walking along the beach, unable to see by the light of the moon. You could ask why I didn’t scream or fight and I’d maybe tell you because I was embarrassed and because it was a date it somehow seemed like I didn’t have grounds, but I did.

I could talk about my ex who called me stupid and hated me and held me down and controlled me because he could overpower me. I could tell you how he became more aggressive when I said no...making him more powerful, more angry. I could tell you about the viscous cycle of me struggling to regain power and him becoming more brutal in his manipulations and mind games. I could tell you how he made me feel small and unworthy of love and only an object for him to use to get off, then toss me back to the kitchen. I could tell you how he held me down and stuck himself inside me while I cried because I wasn’t “ready” and it hurt and he didn’t care. You could ask why I didn’t leave and I could tell you how I felt trapped and didn’t know how to survive on my own and I was afraid of what he would do to me. I could tell you it took me years to realize I was worthy of being loved and cared for, and I’m still not sure.

I could talk about the massage therapist who I was friendly with who rubbed his hand a little too far up my leg and for a minute I liked it because I was relaxed and then he had his fingers inside me and I realized what was happening and I told him to stop and he put his hand on my chest and held me there and thrust his fingers in and told me to relax and made me cum even though I didn’t want to and I had to jump off the table and leave the room and wait for him to come out so I could get my clothes. I could tell you how I don’t like to think what he was doing in there while I cried in the hall. I could tell you that he apologized, and he did, but the damage was done and I felt ashamed.

I could talk about a casual partner I had who came over to watch a movie and I told him I wasn’t in the mood and he said he was and I tried to tell him no but it was just easier not to fight and I felt sad and ashamed and that was the last time I saw him.

I could tell you a lot of stories, but I’m too afraid you’ll tell me I am weak or I am a slut or I let it happen or I was asking for it.

I could tell you a lot of things, but I’m tired.

[deannadmoves]

Just stop, already.

Today, I overheard a conversation among a group of women about the Golden Globes. They were talking in particular about an actress, I’m not sure which one but I believe it was Sharon Stone. The comments, which they all agreed on, went like this:

“She has a great body but she’s TOO OLD for that dress.”

“She shouldn’t let her boobs hang out like that, she’s ASKING FOR IT.”

“They’ve all had so much work done, it’s disgusting.”

To address these comments...

1. NO ONE is too old for ANY dress. Even if they DON’T have the perfect body (perfect according to whom? ). Did she like the dress? Did she feel good in it? Then she was dressed perfectly and appropriately.

2. There’s no such thing as asking for it. If you want to walk naked through a crowd of men, that’s your business. GRANTED, you might get arrested, and you definitely will cause a stir, but it doesn’t mean you’re ASKING FOR IT. The only time you’re ASKING FOR IT, is when you say “yes, I want it.” The end. Nothing else. NOT ONE OTHER THING.

3. Why is it any of your fucking business that she had work done. You want to judge someone I’ll show you a mirror, and even then it’s a bad thing to do. You need to let it go.

Let’s start to hold each other up, not tear each other down. There’s absolutely no need to not stand in solidarity with our sisters.

If you feel the need to attack other women because of their clothes or body, I feel sorry for you. You’re self loathing must be so hard to live with.

[deannadmoves]

I’ve spent my entire 49 years trying to fit in, yet as soon as I almost do, I sabotage it. You see, normal doesn’t really suit me.

Normal means I have to support the right political party (not protest what I think is an atrocity).

Normal means I have to wear the right clothes (not dress as a mermaid and hang from my aerial silks).

Normal means I have to be the right weight (not a little plump and soft).

Normal means I have to marry the right man and have the right kids (not leave him because he abused me or admit my kid has a problem).

Normal means I have to post the right pictures of the right dinner I made (not the Cheerios I actually had).

Normal means I have to invite other normal people over for dinner and drinks (not stay in my pajamas and watch an entire season of GoT).

Normal means I have to constantly care what other people think of me (not be authentic to myself).

So #fucknormal and anyone that tries to make me feel bad about not being like them.

[deannadmoves]

Ode to and Ex

Hiding myself under rocks For fear you'll fly away When, really, why should I even care? A symphony of emotion From shallow to sublime Brings to mind conclusions Of a completely different kind. Sifting though the timeline Of what was said and done Can bring clarity, but not peace. Sometimes being with you is the loneliest place of all. Your friends come at me with pitchforks Looking to slay the monster that broke you. What do they know but all you've said? The pain they think they cause is nothing. I know better. It all boils down to just another negotiation. ~2012

[deannadmoves]

Im tired.

I'm tired. I'm tired of the constant dribble I hear from people picking other people apart because they are "not normal". "Why would she post that on Facebook?" "She's just trying to get attention." "She shouldn't wear that bikini...dress...low cut shirt... because she's too old...fat...skinny..." "They shouldn't be protesting, they should just accept their loss and move on." There's so much passive-aggressive BS out there right now. The fact is, this is a form of bullying. When people don't fit the mold you want them in you pick them apart with your friends. But ask yourself, why does it bother you that they don't fit into that mold? What's the threat? Perhaps it's jealousy for their courage to live outside the box society has created. Perhaps you have a phobia of their particular circumstance. Maybe you're just an asshole.

[deannadmoves]

What is love?

I wrote this for my parent’s vow renewal ceremony. 50 years. In preparing for this event, I began asking people what “love” meant, to them.

Following are a few of the answers received.

Love is letting them have whichever side of the bed they’d like, even if it changes.

Love is giving them the last bite, or not worrying that there are no seconds because you know they never finish their plate, anyway.

Love is time sent together, whether doing something, or doing nothing but breathing the same air.

Love is being able to call for them when you’ve already gotten in the shower and forgot your towel.

Love is being able to be yourself with another person.

Love is not only loving each other despite our faults and imperfections, but because of them.

And someone sent me a meme from a child: Love is when your puppy licks your face…

Even when you’ve been gone ALL day.

——–

What I learned in all my research is, love is complicated.

——–

I grew up in a home (well, to be honest MANY homes) with the two people here before us.

I was witness to the ups and downs it takes to be a couple – partners in life.

I saw struggles and arguments, as well as heard music and laughter.

There were highs and there were lows, there were disappointments and celebrations.

But what I always saw, deep down, was commitment and mutual admiration.

When it came down to it, through thick and thin, my parents always had each other’s backs above all else.

Growing up seeing this as a model, I though all marriages were like my parent’s.

I thought there was always communication, sacrifice and compassion, and as long as you loved each other, nothing else really mattered.

But not all couples are like my parents.

What I didn’t realize is that a good sense of humor, commitment to each other’s hobbies and goals and DEEP ADMRATION for each other’s imperfections were even more important.

My parents have never faltered in their commitment to each other.

They have always put each other first, making decisions that helped them grow and last as a partnership.

My parents have always found a way to laugh at themselves and with each other (though sometimes AT each other), building light-hearted camaraderie.

My parents, above all, have always been in awe of each other’s talents and had deep appreciation for each other’s short comings.

So, when I asked around to find out what “love” is, I knew I would get lots of fun and fruitful answers; I also knew that the real answer could only be found after decades of commitment and struggles like my parents have endured, together.

So now, even though perhaps there’s a few extra wrinkles, some thinning or silver hair, a couple of knees that would set off a metal detector, and a few extra pounds between you, we all know you still see the beautiful, young girl with the long, black hair and sparkling eyes- and a strapping, muscular lifeguard with an obsession for things that drive fast and fly high…

And, because of your love, that’s what we all still see, too.

[deannadmoves]

It all comes down to this. Do you want to keep moving as you age? Do you want to keep finding health and feel better? Or are you more concerned with looking good on the beach this summer? I've had my share of weight struggles. I've worked out to the point of torture trying to loose that extra body fat. I've injured myself and depleted myself -at the gym AND THE YOGA STUDIO. I've had my share of good and bad experiences within the fitness industry. Even at my skinniest point, I was told my thighs were too fat and my belly was "paunchy" (if your trainer does this to you just walk out the door and keep on walking...). This was at the point my mom was calling me daily to tell me I wasn't eating enough and I looked anorexic. My point is, I was angry at myself and my body for not being what it was "supposed to" be. Last week, I turned 48. I can't say I always look in the mirror and don't get touchy about the excess weight I seem to be carrying as I get older, but I don't bother with it, as much. It doesn't really matter. As far as I can tell, I'm as strong as an Ox, and I don't have any pressing health concerns. I do my best to keep moving and find new ways to explore my body and mind- that is what health is about. So, if you're killing yourself at the gym trying to lose that extra weight- just stop, already. You're perfect. Have a piece of pie once in a while and remember to have some fun in your fitness routine, but be safe in your movements ... trust me you'll regret it later if you don't. Want some guidance? Link to my website is in my bio! I have a home studio in NJ and am available for online sessions and classes! #fitlife

[deannadmoves]

Sometimes, you have to improvise. One of my pelvic inversion slings is broken, so I used my aerial hammock. The nice thing about the wall is it provides stability in many of the same poses we do in aerial yoga. It's very accessible, and the stability often allows for depth in practice. #improvise #yogawall #aerialyoga

[deannadmoves]

Starting Sunday, April 23 at 11 AM I will be offering Chair Yoga at my house. This class will be open to all, but will be specially designed to add modifications and challenges for those with mobility issues. All are encouraged to attend because, as usual, we will be exploring movement in a new way and finding challenges to help keep us moving. If you know anyone who might benefit from this class, please share this with them! #MS #multiplesclerosis #balance #move #jerseyshore 732-278-4563

[deannadmoves]

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A post shared by Deanna D CMT (@deannad_ig)

And now for something completely different... This morning as I was rushing out of the house I stumbled across this. There's a fish tank on one side of a curtain I have to pass, and the sun was shining through on the other side creating this amazing scene. My tendency to rush out so I could get to work was temporarily calmed by my desire to just enjoy the soothing sounds of the tank and the silhouettes of the fish. Sometimes you've just gotta slow down and not let the world pass you by. #yoga #fish #beauty #slowdown #soothing #love

[deannadmoves]

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it. ~Peter Pan True in life. True in yoga. If you truly believe you cannot, then you won't. That's not to say you should just expect to be able to do anything RIGHT NOW. But time, patience, strength training (mental, emotional and physical), breath-work, and persistence can bring unprecedented results. So go. Try. Be patient. But always believe. #yoga

[deannadmoves]

Working on some videos and blog posts. What are some of your movement/#yoga challenges? What would you like to learn more about? #pranayama (breathing) techniques? #strength ? #props ? Techniques for #pain? #meditation? #relaxation? Let me know and I will try to accommodate! #yoga

[deannadmoves]

In the spirit of cooperation, if we truly want unity then republicans- EVERY DAMN ONE OF YOU- needs to take a stand on this. I've seen countless posts today like this and THIS is why we were against HIM. Not policy- I wouldn't have cared if Romney or any of the others won (I would absolutely respect that was about policy and hard times). THIS is complete lack of respect is the exact problem HE has brought out and made OK. Go, fight this. You want our respect as a party? EARN IT.

[deannadmoves]

Super excited to be heading to #brooklyn to represent @airealyoga at #wanderlust108brooklyn! #wanderlust108 #wanderlust #airealyoga #airealyogatribe (at Prospect Park)

[deannadmoves]

#backtoschool! Backpacks are greats for one thing... HEART OPENERS! After carrying them around all day your back will need some relief. #ahhhh #yoga