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dearest-bucky · 2 months
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MJ's Masterlist - Bucky Barnes
Consider all of my works to be 18+, minors DNI.
Warnings can be found on the individual fics.
This masterlist will be regularly updated as I post more works.
🖤 - smut
🥀 - angst
☁️ - fluff
⭐️ - more than 1k notes
🥇 - most popular
🫶🏼 - my personal favs
One-Shots
What Am I To You? 🖤⭐️
Bigger Than He Was 🖤⭐️🥇
Strawberries 🖤⭐️🫶🏼
It Was Sunday 🖤☁️
Look At Me
Two-Part Fics
Flustered: Part 1, Part 2 🖤⭐️
Series
Needs & Wants (Sex Pollen) 🖤🥀⭐️🥇
Time & Temptation (Roommates w/ Benefits) 🖤
Christmas Season One-Shots, Two-Part Fics
Half-Tongue Rule 🖤⭐️
Insufferable 🖤⭐️
Making Sure 🖤🥀⭐️
Candy Cane 🖤⭐️
That Wasn't Quiet 🖤⭐️
Right Here 🖤⭐️
Wear That Again 🖤⭐️
Dreaming About Me? 🖤
Inevitable 🖤⭐️
We Don't Have to Stop 🖤⭐️☁️
Letters to Santa: Part 1, Part 2 🖤
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dearest-bucky · 1 year
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Listeennnn, I have been waiting for over 3 years to read this last chapter! I even had the notifications turned on for your blog, so I could finally know when the last part would be out.
To have the possibility to read the final part of this amazing story, wow. I'm speechless.
The Tumblr notification I got from your blog today was literally the highlight of my entire weekend.
Thank you for finally coming back to this masterpiece and putting me out of my 3year long misery 😂❤️❤️❤️❤️
Btw, amazing story, 100% recommend it!
Heart to love (chapter 7-last one)
(Bucky Barnes x Reader)
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Story: You hate Bucky Barnes. He’s arrogant, full of himself, shallow and a total womanizer. But when you take him as your fake date to your family’s Christmas vacation you learn there’s a lot more to Bucky Barnes than meets the eye, a whole lot more. 
This chapter: You and Bucky spend the beginning of the new year in bed together (finally!)
Word count: 2940
18+ for explicit language and smut, oral (male & female receiving), some dirty talk and Bucky being a total tease
Masterlist
*****
It took me over 3 years to get back to this fic, I honestly didn't think it would ever happen as I've stopped writing Bucky/Sebastian two years ago but I suddenly got some Christmas inspiration and decided this one deserved a conclusion ;)
*****
Heart to love (chapter 7)
You’d expected Bucky to be all over you as soon as the bedroom door closed behind you but the opposite was true. 
As soon as you were in the privacy of the bedroom a sudden calmness seemed to fall over you both. 
You were here, you had all night, and it was finally going to happen, there was no need to rush.
The room was dark except for the light of the fireplace and the small bedside table lamps. Bucky’s smile was soft, his steps confident as he walked over to you, taking your hand in his and lifting it up to his lips to put a soft kiss on your skin. His lips warm and soft, and lingering, a promise of more to come.
You grabbed the bottom of his shirt and slowly lifted it over his head, followed by his t-shirt. He returned the favor and slowly unbuttoned your blouse. His fingers were trembling when he helped you out of it, putting a little smile on your face. When you were left in nothing but your bra Bucky couldn’t help but stare. And you did the same, letting your eyes roam over his perfectly toned chest and stomach. 
Your hands moved to touch him, his skin both firm and soft under your fingers, Bucky closed his eyes and sighed at the contact. Your hand moved to his shoulder and arm, letting your fingers trace over the scar tissue there before you leaned in and put soft kisses all over his shoulder, making Bucky sigh even more.
His hands took hold of your waist and he gently pulled you closer, one hand moving up to your neck and then, finally, his lips were on yours. 
You kissed him back and pushed him towards the bed, Bucky sat down at the edge and moved you with him, pulling you down to straddle his lap.
His arms wrapped around you, hugging you close while his one hand swiftly unclipped your bra.
You took it off and leaned back, letting him look at you and the hungry look you found in his eyes was enough to set you on fire.
Bucky was licking his lips while his hands moved up, over your stomach to softly cup both breasts, using his thumbs to make your nipples peak.
Your back arched and you whimpered softly, instinctively rolling your hips against his and you felt his erection hard against you.
Bucky moved his hands to your back to hold you in place while he slowly started kissing your neck, then working his way down to your collar bone and even lower until his mouth found your nipple. He circled it with his tongue before putting his lips around it and sucking slowly.
“Bucky,” you moaned softly and your hips started moving again. There were still way too many layers of clothing between you two and you were getting impatient now.
Bucky spent some more time kissing your breast while his fingers caressed your lower back. 
Every touch made you crave him more.
Bucky must have sensed your impatience because his one hand moved to the front of your jeans to unzip it.
“Take it off,” he whispered into your ear.
He didn’t need to ask you twice, you quickly stepped back and out of your jeans. You were ready to lose your panties too but Bucky stopped you and pulled you back onto his lap.
You let out a little disappointed whine but Bucky just smirked sweetly,” One layer at a time, baby, I wanna tease you a little more first.”
Your eyes closed when his lips found your neck again. You moved your hands over his back and into his hair while you leaned back, giving him better access to your neck and Bucky took it, licking your skin and giving soft little love bites.
You moaned his name and in response he bucked his hips up against yours, giving you some delicious friction and making you moan more. Bucky’s lips found yours and he kissed you softly but deeply. You clung to him, never wanting him to stop but also wanting him to give you more.
Bucky smiled into the kiss when he felt how you kept rolling your hips against him, needy and desperate.
“You want more, sweetheart?” he teased.
“Yes,” you breathed, moving yourself over his erection. Your panties were soaked and you were pretty sure you were leaving a stain on his jeans.
“You wanna cum like this?” Bucky purred into your ear.
“No…I want you inside me,” you whispered.
“Not just yet, doll, I wanna take my sweet time with you.”
His words were both enticing and frustrating you, the idea of Bucky taking his time and enjoying every little touch and kiss you both shared was wonderful but you also just wanted him to fuck you already. You were desperate for that orgasm and Bucky sensed it.
His hands moved to cup your ass and he guided you, helping you drag yourself up and down his cock, giving you the exact friction you craved so badly.
“B-ucky,” your voice was both a moan and a plea and you clung to his neck.
“That’s it,” he encouraged you,” Take what you need from me, baby, use me.”
You were so close and Bucky’s words were fuel on the fire.
“Please,” you begged,” oh god…so close…”
You were moving against him fast and desperate now and you could see Bucky struggling to keep control. He held you in his arms while your orgasm washed over you. 
He let you ride it out, his cock now rock hard beneath you, the relief you felt was only temporary, you already felt the need to have him deep inside you.
When you moved back a little Bucky noticed the huge wet spot you left on his jeans.
“Fuck, baby,” his voice sounded wrecked when he saw the evidence of your lust for him.
“I’m gonna need you to take those off, right now,” you pointed out and started unbuttoning his jeans. Bucky was more than eager to help and his jeans ended up on the floor.
You pushed him back down on the bed, unable to take your eyes off his boxers and the huge hard on he was clearly sporting underneath that thin layer of fabric.
“Lay back,” you told him.
Bucky didn’t say a word but obliged, moving himself further up on the bed and laying down on his back. His eyes never left yours as you crawled over him.
He was so fucking beautiful, you wanted to kiss every inch of him but you started with his chest. 
Bucky sighed softly at your touch and leaned back into the pillow.
When you’d taken enough time with his chest you moved down to his stomach, kissing his abs and then licking your way down his happy trail.
Bucky’s soft sighing had turned into soft moaning and when you slowly pulled down his boxers his breath hitched.
You’d never been a fan of sucking dick, but seeing Bucky so hard, so turned on, hearing how his breathing changed when you gave that first lick, you couldn’t help but want to take him into your mouth and ruin him.
You took your time teasing him at first, licking him from top to base and then just curling your tongue around his tip. Bucky was a gasping mess already and his fingers softly caressed your hair.
“Fuck,” he breathed,” yes…please…oh god, baby, please.”
Hearing him beg only made you want it more and you wrapped your hand around his base to jerk him slowly while you wrapped your lips around him and took him in. Slowly at first but a little deeper every time.
Bucky’s heavy moans were making you wet again and you had to fight the urge to touch yourself while you worked around him. 
It didn’t last long before Bucky had to pull you off and before you knew it he had switched positions, putting you down on your back with him on top of you.
He didn’t waste anymore time and pulled our panties down your legs before moving back up to kiss your lips, his cock hard and leaking against your inner thigh.
“I want you,” you moaned into the kiss,” want you so bad, Bucky,”
“Just a little while longer, sweetheart,” he pulled your bottom lip between his teeth and looked into your eyes,” I need to return a little favor first.”
He moved to kiss your neck again while his hand moved down lower to caress your breasts. Then he lowered himself to kiss your breasts while his hand moved even lower between your legs.
You moaned loud when his fingers found your clit and start circling it slowly, at the same time moving his tongue over your nipple.
You were almost ready to cum on the spot but Bucky had other plans.
He kissed your stomach and then without any hesitation his tongue was on your clit.
Your hands reached for his head, caressing his hair. 
One of your legs ended up over his shoulder while he licked across your folds, teasing your entrance and then going back up to pay some more attention to your most sensitive spot, putting you on edge quickly.
“Bucky,” you begged,” please…I’m gonna…I need you inside me…I’m so close…stop…please”
He stopped what he was doing for only a few seconds to look up into your eyes,” You’re gonna cum for me first, then I’m gonna fuck you, do you understand?”
All you managed was a quick nod of your head and then his mouth was back on you and you were done for.
“Oh god, fuck,” you bit your lip to keep from screaming when he sucked your clit and sent you into your second orgasm,” Don’t stop…don’t stop…don’t stop.”
Your head fell back into the pillow while your back arched off the bed and your fingers dug into Bucky’s scalp, this second orgasm so much stronger than the first one, and still you were hungry for more.
Bucky moved back up, nestling himself back in that place between your legs, his cock still hard and now nudging against your entrance while his lips found yours in a soft kiss. You licked into his mouth, tasting yourself on his tongue. You smiled and Bucky followed your lead, leaning his forehead against yours and letting your eyes meet.
“Hey,” he whispered sweetly.
“Hey, you,” you smiled,” You’re such a fucking tease.”
Bucky laughed,” Any complaints?”
“None,” you quickly answered and kissed him again, slower and deeper this time and Bucky gave as good as you did. You spent some time just making out and letting your hands feel every inch of the other’s body you could reach. 
Then Bucky moved his hips and you felt the tip of his cock nudging your entrance again.
“Wanna fuck you so bad,” he then whispered, moving his hips again, teasing you some more and this time letting his tip push in a little deeper.
You moaned his name and wrapped your legs around him, opening up your body to him. You cupped his face and looked deep into his eyes,” If I don’t have you inside me soon I’m going to explode, James.”
It was all he needed to hear and he pushed in, slowly but without stopping until you were filled up to the hilt. You both laid still for a few moments, just staring into each other’s eyes while you got used to having him inside you.
Then Bucky’s eyes closed in a heavy sigh, his breath hot against your skin.
You’d had sex before but this was something entirely different, there were no words to express how it felt having Bucky inside you. As if a piece of you had been missing all your life and now you  found it again and you were complete.
Your arms tightened around him and you hugged him close, fighting the surge of emotions bottling up in your chest.
“I love you.”
For a moment you panicked, thinking you’d actually said it out loud instead of thinking it but then you realized you hadn’t spoken a single word. It was Bucky’s voice in your ear and he repeated it again, softly but firmly,” I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too,” you breathed and clung to him even harder, burying your face into his neck.
Bucky hugged you back with the same desperation and then, slowly, he started moving his hips.
You whimpered and he pulled back to look into your eyes,” Is this okay? Am I hurting you?”
“No, no, you’re not hurting me,” you looked back at him and noticed his eyes were teary, just like yours,” You could never hurt me.”
Bucky kissed you and then very carefully moved his hips again, slowly at first and then a little faster. The moan from your lips didn’t leave any room for doubt this time.
“More,” you begged quietly.
Bucky followed your request, rolling his hips and then pushing back in all the way.
“Fuck yes,” you encouraged him.
After a few more thrusts you could feel Bucky relax and give into his own need and he started fucking you slowly.
“You feel so fucking good,” he moaned against your skin while picking up the pace,” So fucking tight and wet for me, fuck, baby.”
You could feel the heat coiling inside your belly again, another orgasm building and you knew this one was going to feel even better than the last. 
Bucky was still taking his time, thrusting deep, the weight of him on top of you holding you down on the mattress.
“Harder,” you pleaded,” Fuck me harder, Bucky.”
He didn’t need any more encouragement, he snaked an arm underneath you to lift you up and trap you between him and the bed head, giving him some more leverage.
“Hold onto me,” he breathed.
You did as he asked and wrapped your arms firmly around his neck. Bucky used one hand to spread your legs even further and the other to push down onto the bed head. The changed angle when he fucked into you this time was enough to make you scream. 
He started thrusting harder, the bed squeeking under the weight of both of you. Your nails sank into his skin, making him hiss. He continued thrusting into you, harder and less controlled with every snap of his hips.
“Are you close, doll?” he moaned.
“Yeah,” you reciprocated with a moan of your own.
Bucky moved one hand in between your legs and when he found your clit he pushed you over the edge. Your walls started contracting around him, pulling him right with you.
“Cum with me,” he whimpered into your mouth,” Ahh…fuck…cum with me, baby.”
You’d been right, the third orgasm was the best one because you shared it with Bucky.
You were both still clinging to each other long after the climax was over, not ready to let the moment be gone yet. Finally Bucky pulled out but he still kept you in his arms and pulled the blankets over both of you, you both fell asleep shortly after.
***
When you woke up the next morning the world was different, and it wasn’t just because of the new year. It was because of the man lying next to you, staring at you with the softest most stupid grin on his face.
“Morning, princess,” he smiled.
“Hi,” you leaned onto your elbow and stared right back at him,”How did you sleep?”
“Like a baby, and you?”
“Like someone fucked my brains out last night,” you teased, making him laugh.
He bit his lip,”I hope we didn’t wake up your family.”
“We probably did, but that’s okay, they can take it. Besides, I deserved it,” you smiled.
Bucky wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer, searching your lips with his to kiss you deeply. You sighed into the kiss and hugged him back.
“So, are you ready to go back home?” he then asked.
You leaned back to look into his eyes and for a moment the insecurity set in and Bucky noticed.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“What happens now?” you asked carefully.
“Well, I’m guessing we have breakfast with your family and then we make our way back to the city.”
You nodded,” I meant…what happens when we get back to the city?”
“Well, I thought…maybe I could show you my apartment, we order some take out and then…we could celebrate the rest of new year’s day in bed. I mean…if you have no other plans?”
This time Bucky was the one feeling insecure as he awaited your answer, but your smile told him everything he needed to know.
It was a whole new world. 
Bucky Barnes was no longer an asshole, he was the man you loved now. And he loved you just the same if not more. To think that without Steve you both would have spent this Christmas on your own and depressed…
“Maybe we should make one more pit stop first though,” you suggested.
”Ahh yes, I think we owe someone a very big new year’s gift,” Bucky grinned.
“And a kick to the groin,” you added, making Bucky laugh again.
You couldn’t help but pull him closer into another kiss.
“I love you,” Bucky breathed against your lips,”So fucking much.”
You cupped his face and let yourself drown into his beautiful blue eyes,“I love you too, Bucky Barnes.”
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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there’s just some fics... they never leave u bro. i’ll be sitting on the toilet four years later thinking about the 94k enemies to lovers fic that captured my soul
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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can we just talk about how hot bucky looked in this trailer🥵 especially the first picture is giving me flashbacks to beefy bucky<333 send some dirty concepts and i might just turn them into small headcanons/blurbs 🤍✨
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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“I can’t talk right now, I’m doin hot girl shit”
*reads fanfiction for 3 hours*
*daydreams about my favorite characters and actors*
*takes a nap*
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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if there’s one thing the mcu knows how to do it’s chaotic trios
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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wanda be like: alternate universe - sitcom, established relationship, 100k words, fix-it, no one dies/everybody lives, absolutely no angst, canon is whatever i want it to be
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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Where do we go from here (3- Final)
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: After one drunken one night stand Bucky wants nothing to do with Y/n. Will he change his mind later?
Words: 2.5K
Warnings: pregnancy, angst til the very end 😅 but of course happy ending
A/n: So first of all I’m sorry for this part being so late but life has been a little bit busy lately, butttt the most important thing is that it’s here and yes, it’s over. I hope you guys like the final part too as much as you did the rest of this story. I can’t stop thanking @tom-hlover because this was her idea and it’s because of her that her story was written in the first place!💕
And thank you to each and everyone of you for reading, liking, commenting and reblogging! I’m really in awe whenever I see your reactions!💕
Also tagging:  @vicmc624 @eyeliveinabook @giveusbackourbucky @atomicsoulcollecto @lokilokilokilokilokiloki @coffeebooksandfandom @sstanbarnes
Feedback is greatly appreciated! xx
This could not be happening! Not right now. She didn’t need more than she already had on her plate with Bucky. Pregnant? The words that had left Bruce’s lips reached her ears but they sounded distant, foreign. Right after Bruce has spoken, she had fixed her shirt, not bothering to wipe the gel away and got up from the medical cot, practically running out of the med bay. Steve followed behind her and he could only catch up on her just as she was about to enter her room.
Keep reading
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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SEBASTIAN STAN at the Captain America: The Winter Soldier red carpet premiere - March 13, 2014
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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Thank you sweetheart! 💕💕
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Where do we go from here (3- Final)
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: After one drunken one night stand Bucky wants nothing to do with Y/n. Will he change his mind later?
Words: 2.5K
Warnings: pregnancy, angst til the very end 😅 but of course happy ending
A/n: So first of all I’m sorry for this part being so late but life has been a little bit busy lately, butttt the most important thing is that it’s here and yes, it’s over. I hope you guys like the final part too as much as you did the rest of this story. I can’t stop thanking @tom-hlover because this was her idea and it’s because of her that her story was written in the first place!💕
And thank you to each and everyone of you for reading, liking, commenting and reblogging! I’m really in awe whenever I see your reactions!💕
Also tagging:  @vicmc624 @eyeliveinabook @giveusbackourbucky @atomicsoulcollecto @lokilokilokilokilokiloki @coffeebooksandfandom @sstanbarnes
Feedback is greatly appreciated! xx
This could not be happening! Not right now. She didn’t need more than she already had on her plate with Bucky. Pregnant? The words that had left Bruce’s lips reached her ears but they sounded distant, foreign. Right after Bruce has spoken, she had fixed her shirt, not bothering to wipe the gel away and got up from the medical cot, practically running out of the med bay. Steve followed behind her and he could only catch up on her just as she was about to enter her room.
Keep reading
104 notes · View notes
dearest-bucky · 3 years
Photo
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BUCKY BARNES + mouth (requested by @anisstaranise for 10k follower celebration)
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
Text
Where do we go from here (3- Final)
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: After one drunken one night stand Bucky wants nothing to do with Y/n. Will he change his mind later?
Words: 2.5K
Warnings: pregnancy, angst til the very end 😅 but of course happy ending
A/n: So first of all I’m sorry for this part being so late but life has been a little bit busy lately, butttt the most important thing is that it’s here and yes, it’s over. I hope you guys like the final part too as much as you did the rest of this story. I can’t stop thanking @tom-hlover because this was her idea and it’s because of her that her story was written in the first place!💕
And thank you to each and everyone of you for reading, liking, commenting and reblogging! I’m really in awe whenever I see your reactions!💕
Also tagging:  @vicmc624 @eyeliveinabook @giveusbackourbucky @atomicsoulcollecto @lokilokilokilokilokiloki @coffeebooksandfandom @sstanbarnes
Feedback is greatly appreciated! xx
This could not be happening! Not right now. She didn't need more than she already had on her plate with Bucky. Pregnant? The words that had left Bruce's lips reached her ears but they sounded distant, foreign. Right after Bruce has spoken, she had fixed her shirt, not bothering to wipe the gel away and got up from the medical cot, practically running out of the med bay. Steve followed behind her and he could only catch up on her just as she was about to enter her room.
"Hey." He spoke softly as he took a hold on her arm. "Hey, Y/n, listen to me." She turned around to face him and he was surprised to see that she was crying. "It's going to be okay.", He tried to console her, but those words only made her cry more.
"No it's not. Steve, it's not going to be okay. I'm pregnant with the child of a man who avoids me like I'm the fucking plague. A man who wants nothing to do with me. Fuck!" She cursed out loud as more tears streamed down her cheeks. She knew Steve hated when they cursed, but she couldn't care less about Steve's language problem. She had a bigger problem to handle at the moment.
"Who said he wants nothing to do with you?" He asked confused and Y/n only shook her head in disbelief.
"Do you live here or what?" She scoffed, not in the mood to talk to anyone anymore. "I need to be alone for a while, please." The last words were spoken in a quiet voice and Steve couldn't help but respect her wish.
"Okay, but I'm here if you need to talk about anything." She nodded her head and entered her room, closing the door behind her.
Steve hated the situation that was created, even more the fact that he wasn't doing anything to fix things between Bucky and Y/n. "I can't believe I'm doing this." He spoke to himself and then without even knocking opened Y/n's door.
"Steve, what are you doing?" She asked a little confused, moving to sit on the bed instead of laying as the captain stood tall in front of her.
"You have to answer one question for me and you have to answer it honestly, okay?" He asked and she could only nod.
"Do you love Bucky?"
Everything hurt, and no matter how many mission he had been to, no matter how many fights he had fought, every time he went into the battlefield felt like the first time. This time though, it had felt like the last. The mission had been two excruciating weeks long, and more than once during those two weeks Bucky had gotten the impression that he wouldn't be making it out alive. The mission was draining yes, dangerous, also yes, but the reason he felt that was because he was already dead inside.
With heavy steps and an even more heavy heart, he descended slowly from the quinjet, not at all excited or happy to be back. There was a reason he had left on a mission that long and if it was really up to him, he'd choose another mission, probably twice as long as the last one right now, only to be able to escape the compound and his broken heart.
Slowly and alone he made his way to his room. It was almost eleven in the morning, so he knew most of the team was awake and doing their own thing, so he walked unbothered through thr halls and unlocked his bedroom door. With a heavy sigh he closed the door behind his back and threw his duffle bag carelessly on the floor.
He didn't want to stop to be alone with his thoughts, needing action, something to keep himself busy with, but now that he was back, all he had to do was file the mission reports, which he absolutely hated. So he did the next thing that came to mind. With sluggish movement he got rid of his tactical suit and entered his adjacent bathroom, in desperate need of a shower.
He let the warm water run down his body, relishing in the somewhat relief it offered, but as soon as he closed his eyes to feel the water in his face, the picture that formed in his mind startled him. Hands and mouths and bodies and skin, touching and feeling and loving and he shook his head trying to get rid of it all. With the shower ruined for him too, he decided to rinse and get out as soon as possible. He turned off the water and got out of the bathroom with a towel hanging from his hips.
"You look like shit." He turned around to face the voice that spoke to him. Not many were able to sneak up on him like that, but this time he blamed the tiredness from the mission and the exhaustion of his heart for it. He composed himself a little before speaking, not wanting to sound as terrified as he had felt one short moment ago.
"And you, Natalia, need to learn how to knock on people's doors." He chastised, a little annoyed at her, but more pissed at himself because he had lost touch. He secured the towel a little more around his waist, before turning his back to her again, opening his drawers and rummaging through them to find some underwear. "What are you doing here anyway?" He asked then, not turning around to look at her. Without removing the towel he put on his boxer briefs and then fished out a pair of sweats from God knows where and put them on too. Only after he was half dressed, he turned around to look at her again. "So?"
She let out a small sigh, one she couldn't mask even with many years in the spy business. "I think you should sit down for this Barnes." He scoffed but did as she told him to, sitting next to her on his bed, eyes boring into her green ones, silently asking her to speak up.
"So?" He asked again a little more impatient this time and finally she said the words she'd come to him for.
"Y/n's pregnant." She said it so casually, he didn't even understand the real meaning behind her words. "With your child." She added a short second later and only then something clicked in Bucky's mind and he snapped out of it.
"What? Nat, I hope this is not a joke." She only shook her head no and that was enough for him to get up from where he was sitting. "Where is she?" He asked her and was ready to bolt out of the room at any second. The redhead didn't give him an answer for that question, she lowered her head, as if in shame or disappointment. He couldn't really tell.
"Where is Y/n?" He repeated a little more loudly and she snapped her head back up to look at him again.
"She's gone to a private clinic to abort the child." The words that left her mouth felt like stones thrown on his head, like daggers piercing through his heart and for a moment he stopped breathing altogether.
"She's..." He couldn't even form the words anymore.
"I'm sorry." Nat spoke up again. "I tried to change her mind, but she said she couldn't have a baby in her life."
"Because it's mine?" He asked, kind of wishing for Nat to not answer, but he asked anyway.
"Yes and no." She replied a little hesitantly, leaving Bucky more confused than ever. Yes and no, what does this even mean? He asked her that too. "I can't tell you anything else,  this is between you and her."
"Between me and her?" He scoffed in disbelief at Nat's words. He was going to lose his mind. "Between me and her it's a baby that she decided to get rid of all alone, just because it's mine. Because why would she want to raise the baby of a monster? Why would she wanna be tied to me forever with something so important like a baby?" He was yelling now, pacing around the room like a madman as he threw up the words.
The door of his room opened and they both turned their heads to look at Steve who seemed confused by all the yelling. "What is going on here? Why are you guys yelling?" He asked and then turned to Bucky. "Pal?"
"Oh, come on Stevie, come on in." The tone of his voice was still loud as he spoke sarcastically. "What is going on here, is that Natalia came to inform me there's something between me and Y/n." Steve was even more confused by his friend's words, but he didn't interrupt him, only remained silent until Bucky explained more. "That something is a baby. A baby she decided to get rid of without even telling me about it. Because it's the baby of a monster like me so she shouldn't keep it." Bucky turned to look at Steve, but unable to meet his friend's eye as his own were blurred by the tears. He blinked once and those tears escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheeks, thick and heavy and painful. "I'm a monster." He finished in a weak voice and wiped his face with the back of his hand a little aggressively.
The room was silent and nobody was speaking, but only a moment later that was ruined when Natasha came close to his and slapped him behind his head. "You idiot." She said and Bucky turned to look at her, more confused than before. "She loves you." His eyes widened at her words, but he was unable to say anything as she spoke again. "Yes, she can't keep that baby because it's yours, but it's not because you're a monster. It's because it's too painful for her to keep a baby that's yours without having you in her life." She finally explained and something clicked in Bucky's brain.
He wiped his cheeks again and turned to look at Steve with hopeful eyes. His friend only nodded, confirming Nat's words. "Where is she?" Bucky asked again the both of them. "What clinic did she go to?"
"I don't know." Nat replied and Bucky's face fell. "She didn't tell me."
"I think I know." He was surprised to hear Steve's voice. "C'mon pal. Let's go get your girl and your baby." Steve patted his shoulder affectionately and a small smile escaped his lips before he moved to get out of his room.
"A shirt!" Nat yelled behind him and threw a shirt at him, which he caught easily and wore it while walking.
The drive to the clinic was technically short, merely a ten minutes drive, including the traffic on the streets, but to Bucky it felt like an eternity as he tapped his fingers nervously on his knee while Steve was driving. When they arrived to the clinic, Bucky was the first to run inside and call out for Y/n, not caring about other people or the nurses and doctors that gathered around him and tried to keep him quiet.
"Please, I need to find her." He said to one of them and then looked around frantically for Y/n while calling out her name again.
"Bucky?" Her voice was weak as she called his name but he heard it loud and clear and turned around to face her. "What are you doing here?"
There were dark circles under her red and swollen eyes and she looked like she'd been through hell. Only wearing a hospital gown, it made her seem even more sick and the thought that went through Bucky's head made him sick in his stomach too. He moved away from the crowd of the hospital staff that had tried to calm him and walked towards Y/n. With a few short steps he reached her, but it still felt as if she was very far from him.
"Did you do it?" He asked meekly and her eyes once again blurred by unshed tears and she lowered her head. A gasp left his mouth at her reaction and he couldn't even look at her anymore. "Oh God." Were the only words that escaped his lips and he fell to his knees in front of her. He hugged her thighs and hid his face in her tummy, crying silently without a care for the people around them watching.
He felt her hand on his hair, fingers carding slowly and softly through his locks, and then her soft voice. "I couldn't." Those two words were enough to get his attention and he picked his head up to look  at her through his tear stained lashes.
"What are you saying?" She lowered her body down too, coming face to face with him, and with a little adjustment she managed to sit on his lap, arms snaking around his torso and hugging him like her life depended on that one hug.
"I couldn't kill our baby." She spoke and her voice quivered from emotions. "Even if you don't love me, even if we can't be together, I couldn't do it. It's a life growing inside of me and I couldn't murder it. I couldn't live with myself if I did that."
Bucky sighed in relief at her words and he hugged her back even more tighter, as if he wanted to merge both of their bodies into one on that hospital floor. But then, he thought, he had already done that, it was a living proof growing inside Y/n's belly and he couldn't be happier.
He was content to have her in his arms like that, but that didn't last long either because she created a little distance with him to finally look in his eyes. "I understand if you want nothing to do with the baby. Just because I decided to keep it, you don't have any responsibility if you don't want, you-"
"What if I do?" He interrupted her and she looked at him half confused, half relieved. "Y/n I love you." He said and she gasped at the words, more tears spilling down her eyes. "I've loved you before and I love you now and I'll love you after. And I absolutely love our little one. There's no place else I'd rather be than with you." His confession filled her heart with so much hope and joy, the only thing she could do was smash her lips into his, unable to form words. He quickly claimed her lips too in a kiss that left them both breathless and sated at the same time.
When they stopped kissing, she finally said. "I love you too."
He smiled down at her and caressed her cheek with the back of his flesh hand. With easy movements he helped her and they both got up from the floor they were sitting.
"Let's go home baby."
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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Final part of ‘Where do we go from here’ coming up tonight!!! If anyone wants to be tagged let me know in the comments! xx
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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“Nope,” I whisper as I exit out of a fic with no paragraph breaks.
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dearest-bucky · 3 years
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D23 Expo 2019.
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dearest-bucky · 4 years
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Top 10 Favorite Movies ➞ Diana (@benhargreaves) ↳ #3 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2014) dir. Joe Russo and Anthony Russo
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