deathlulls

[deathlulls]

"How can she be mad," Rogojin interrupted, "when she is sane enough for other people and only mad for you?"

— The Idiot, Fyodor Dostoevsky

[deathlulls]

How I feel after skipping past all the smut in a fanfic cause I’m only in the mood for fluff

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"shadows of our mistakes prick our hearts like thorns, but over time, those thorns have slowly melted inside you."

— rokuya nagi, idolish7

[deathlulls]

Shi Qingxuan

— mxtx, heaven official's blessing

[deathlulls]

the serpent and the eagle ▬ gojo satoru ► PREVIEW

pairing: slytherin quidditch captain! gojo x ravenclaw quidditch captain!reader (fem)

synopsis: it's your first (and last) year captaining ravenclaw's quidditch team, and your house hasn't been lucky enough to hold the quidditch cup in the last four years. in your seventh year, you're determined to lead your house to victory before you depart from the school grounds for life. unfortunately for you, slytherin's captain — gojo satoru, with his infuriating talent and charm that you'd rather not acknowledge — is wholeheartedly set on not letting that happen. but somewhere between neck-to-neck matches and late encounters that forgo the sunlight, you find yourself confronting the only instance more dangerous than falling off your broom — falling for him.

genres & tags: hogwarts AU, rivals to lovers, idiots to lovers, mutual pining slash simultaneous bickering (like a lot of that), happy-ish ending.

warnings: [16+] tba | preview word count: 484 | the taglist is still open! please send an ask or drop a reply if interested <3

One thing you had always been good at was slipping away.

Quick with your words, faster on your feet, and even swifter so when you would ambitiously take to the school's Quidditch pitch in hopes of leading your team and the entirety of Ravenclaw house to victory.

To you, it was only befitting that your house should be the one to command the skies. Badgers, lions, and serpents were emblematic fauna of the land, but eagles alone were creatures of the Hogwarts insignia that could seize control of the limitless azure overhead.

While you clung firmly to your own allegory of house symbols, you knew well enough not to play into the further depths of those same anthropomorphisms. Because no matter the towering heights you would soar to with the eagles of your team, there was something—someone—that would keep you resolutely tethered to the ground, inches away from victory.

And that would be none other than your serpentine counterpart, who took immeasurable pride in coiling and entangling himself amongst your talons, refusing to let you fly free.

The name Gojo Satoru often left a bitter taste in your mouth. He, for one, had never let you slip away, much to your chagrin.

Nonetheless, the presence of your best friend in the seat next to you during the Welcome Feast is your sole grounding force. Iori Utahime, your fellow Beater and only roommate, shares your exasperated vexation for the Slytherin captain.

Four years ago, the pair of you had picked up your Beater's bats for the first time, for the preliminary match of the season of your third year. The decision was as impulsive as it was fortunate, and the pair of you were met with immense skepticism and even greater ridicule and laughter.

After all, Beaters were generally boys as burly as boulders, with brute strength that outweighed their brains, built like imposing walls that could both withstand and fire back iron-clad bludgers. They were most rarely a pair of thirteen year old girls.

Of course, the same had been the first comment Gojo Satoru had made in your direction when he was made known of your position, now your direct counterpart, but that had only caused your motivation to accrue. By the end of your team's first fixture against Slytherin, you'd sent that prat Gojo and his unnecessary comments to the hospital wing for his newly broken jaw.

You insisted that it wasn't your fault he didn't know how to dodge bludgers, being a Beater himself.

What you and Utahime lacked in physical strength and brutality, you made up for with a dangerous amalgamation of pinpoint precision and pure, unbridled frustration towards anyone who believed you were unfit for your role. When your first official Quidditch season had come to an end, you had ended up teaching every player around you a much-needed lesson in respect.

Except for Gojo.

Of course.

tag list: @anahwrts , @pinkiepie6411 , @gav-san , @deathlulls , @hrtsvmei , @peanutbutterho , @itsjellytime , @breadofthedead , @r0ckst4rjk

please like, share, and reblog <3 do not copy, repost, plagiarize, edit, translate, or feed my work into ai or chatbots. ╱ © kissytoru

[deathlulls]

These parallels.

[deathlulls]

xie lian: it's been a long time since the three of us did something like this, huh?

mu qing: do you mean fighting side by side or running for our lives?

xie lian: both!

feng xin: we do this all the time!

[deathlulls]

LIGHT A FLAME, banana fish x squid game

pairing: ash lynx / eiji okumura

warnings!: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

sneak peak: Eiji’s voice came out. “AAAASH! You never showed me if you were blond down there, too!” and then he giggled, and full-on laughed.

Until Ash heard a noise he had gotten used to, and the laughter stopped.

ꮽ   . we’re walking the line tantalisingly,  crossing it but not quite 

“For this game, you will be playing in teams of two. Please choose someone you wish to be your partner. There can only be two players per team. You have ten minutes to choose your partner.” The annoying female voice was on again. Ash hated it, and it reminded him of those counsellors, always putting on a sweet smile and speaking with sugar coated words as if they knew exactly what he’d been through. He huffed, crossed his arms and sat in the topmost corner of the staircases that were there for no reason at all.

“Ash! Would you like to pair with me?” Ah, yes. That one person whom he both hated and loved. The latter more than the former, but yes. Hated how he could be calm, and so fucking happy even in this godsforsaken place, equivalent to hell, as if people in two and three digit numbers weren’t dying everyday . Loved — well, as cheesy as it sounded, Ash loved everything about the Japanese boy. Loved his accent, and how his raspy but beautiful voice pronounced the word Ashu, loved how his eyes would crinkle when he smiled, and how his black hair fell into his face when he laughed too hard.

And now, his eyes had the same kind of sparkle, like they were actually playing children’s games and not someone’s fucked up idea of genocide.

“No, Eiji, what if we end up competing against each other? You know, one loser, one winner?” Ash looked up at Eiji’s furrowed eyebrows after listening to that particular sentence.

“Of course not! They said teams, and teams play with each other, not against! I thought you had an IQ of two hundred, baka.” 

ꮽ   . the ticklish voice of these feelings,  shakes the middle of a quiet lake 

“Please take a bag of marbles from the staff member before you. There should be ten marbles in each bag. Please check if you have the given number of marbles.”

“In this game, you will be playing a game of your choice with your partner. The player who gets all the ten marbles from the other team member will be the winner. No violence is allowed.” 

Ash’s breathing quickened. He looked towards Eiji, whose eyes were glossed over as a frown made its way onto his pretty features. 

There was no way Ash could allow this.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?” he yelled out. “There’s no way— there’s no fucking way I’m gonna go along with this absolute bullshit. Change the game! Change the rules! Do you hear me?” 

Saying the final part, he grabbed one of the masked men by the collar. They pointed their gun at him.

“Ash, calm down,” Eiji said, pulling him back from the masked man. 

“Calm down? Eiji, you want me to calm down?”

“There is no other way around this, is there?” The smile was there again. Ash wanted to kill everyone and migrate to Izumo and keep everything harmful out of Eiji’s way.

“No, no, Eiji. We could just— we could just, not play the game, yeah? Yes, we won’t play the game.” he looked toward the masked man assigned to them. “Go fuck yourself.”

“If there is no winner within the span of thirty minutes, or if no game is played, both the players will be eliminated,” the masked man said.

And Ash wanted nothing more than to rip his heart out at that moment.

ꮽ   . depending on the light of a single candle  to find each other  our shadows become one 

“Let’s do this, Ash; let’s both think of games, okay?”

 “I will protect you.” 

“Even if the world turns on you, I’ll always be on your side.” 

At this point, Ash’s mind was blank. All that rang in his head were Eiji’s words. He had never taken Eiji for granted— never, but now, it suddenly felt like he should’ve appreciated him more, should’ve told him how amazing he was, should’ve hidden him away from the world, should’ve done something. He shouldn't have joined teams with him in the first place! He had told Eiji that they might end up playing against each other! He pleaded and prayed to any of the gods to reverse the last ten minutes. 

“I can’t do this, Eiji,” Ash managed to croak out, eyes brimming with tears. 

Eiji’s arms were around him in an instant. “If we don’t play, we’ll both die, Ash.”

Ash buried his head in the Japanese's bony shoulder, wishing that the moment lasted forever. Wishing that they lasted forever. 

“I don’t hide things from you, but there’s one thing I haven’t told you yet.” Eiji said, looking up. “My father has liver complications. My mother is having an affair during his recovery.”

That made Ash look at him.

“That’s the reason I came to this awful place. My pole-vaulting was getting me money for my father, but after the injury, I couldn’t do that either. I felt terrible, and Ibe-san brought me to America.”

“All I mean to say is, I won’t go easy on you, Ash. And you, too, shouldn’t.” he smiled, as if this were nothing. “Now, have you thought of a game? Because I have.”

ꮽ   . pretending like we don’t know but we actually do  that we need today  we already know, losing control 

They both stood about three metres away from the wall. When Eiji suggested that they play a game where both of them throw a marble and whoever’s marble is the closest to the wall would win, Ash looked at him, perplexed, to which Eiji argued that they didn’t have much time left.

Ash knelt on one knee, and threw his marble. It fell a little away from the wall. They both knew Ash had amazing aim and could probably make the marble touch the wall, but he did it for Eiji, hoping that Eiji’s fell closer to the wall than his. 

“Ooh, that’s pretty close!” Eiji cheered. He took his marble and put himself in a similar position as Ash’s, and aimed. He looked so fixated about this; and whenever Eiji looked this serious, Ash would joke and say that he acted like his life depended on the task that he was so worked up about. Except that it wasn’t a joke anymore.

It was time for Eiji to throw, and Ash was waiting for the result so badly. He was waiting for it to cross his, or in the worst-case scenario, for it to fall farther away than his marble.

What he was not expecting was Eiji to drop it right in front of his feet.

ꮽ   . at the end of this mess,  there is a new beginning 

“Oops, it slipped. Looks like you won, Aslan.” 

At that time so many emotions flowed through Ash that he couldn’t think straight. He grabbed Eiji by the collar and slammed his back onto the wall of the fake house next to them. He remembered to be gentle, because no matter what state Ash’s mind was in, no matter whatever happened, Ash would, could never hurt Eiji. Never.

“What the FUCK are you trying to do, Eiji?”

Eiji gave a weak grin. “What do you mean? You won.”

“You—” Ash’s voice cracked. “Please, please, throw again. We can have a rematch. Don’t do this, please.”

“But I don’t want to lose again. Your aim has always been better than mine. Losing once is okay, but losing twice? I don’t want the last memory of mine to be of being a loser!”

“Eiji, please. Remember the day we met? You said ‘if I’m going to die anyway, at least let me die trying!’ Prove your words true, please, Eiji, please throw again. I’m begging you.” At this point, Ash was completely crying. So was Eiji, but his smile remained constant.

“I said that at that time because then, the life I was trying to save was mine. This time, it’s yours. And I would die for you any day, in a heartbeat.” The two of them were full-on sobbing now. They didn’t care about anyone looking at them; it was like the world was on fire, and they were the only ones left.

“You have a family, Eiji. You have to get your father treated. And your sister, she’s still in school, right? You need to live for them! And Ibe-san! He’s basically your second father! They need you,” Ash cried, desperately shaking Eiji’s shoulders to get him to listen to him.

“Please don’t mention them, Ash. I know it's selfish of me to leave them. I know what I’m doing will affect many people, but I’m doing it for you. The love of my life, my soulmate, it’s for you. Please— please don’t involve yourself in any gang activity from now on, hm? I want you to live better. I want you to know that my sacrifice wasn’t in vain,” Eiji said, cupping Ash’s face and wiping his tears with his thumb. “Remember when I said I would never leave your side?”

Of course Ash did. How could he not?

“I mean it. My soul will always be with you. Always.”

And that’s when Ash broke, clutching Eiji’s arms and sobbing hysterically into his shoulders. Eiji hugged him back and kissed the top of his head, running his hands up and down the blond’s back.

ꮽ   . there’s no need for any loud noises  the ticking of the clock is our metronome 

Ash couldn’t think anymore. He grabbed Eiji by the back of his neck and kissed him, their tears rolling down synchronised. Eiji’s lips felt so soft and warm against his, and the fact that this would be the last time he could experience this was slowly eating him up. Why didn’t he do this before? Why did he keep his guard down when he saw that letter— and got stabbed by Lao? Why didn't he go to Japan with Eiji, and ensure a situation where they both didn't end up like this happened? He wanted to kill everyone. He wanted to die. He didn't know what he wanted, but this, this was definitely not it.

ꮽ   . like the constant tick of the second hand  i want to keep going right now 

As Ash faced away from him and showed the masked man his twenty marbles, walking to get outside of this place, Eiji’s voice called out. “AAAASH! You never showed me if you were blond down there, too!” and then he giggled, and full-on laughed.

Until Ash heard a noise he had gotten used to, and the laughter stopped.

ꮽ   . light a flame in my heart.

— im so sorry forgive me 🙏 hope you guys enjoyed!! this is like my first ever time publishing a fic on tumblr pls be kind 🕯️🤍

posted on ao3.

[deathlulls]

im gonna love you for the rest of my life, im gonna protect you forever and ever, i love me and i will keep him in the safest, fairest, happiest place, baby.

— fujii kaze, damn

[deathlulls]

constantly thinking about THAT episode in banana fish where yut lung told ash the only way he could save eiji was by sho*ting himself and ash, without a millisecond of hesitation grabbed the gun and pulled the trigger.

[deathlulls]

every time i wanna do something i think about what hua cheng would do in that situation and then do the complete opposite

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the world is moving too fast — i can't keep up

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my unpopular aot opinion

I constantly think about how eren stans completely hate zeke like... they were two sides of the coin. they literally had the same ideology. eren's idea was k!ll the bullies, there won't be any bullying then. while zeke's idea was k!ll the bullied, there won't be bullying then. morally they're both just genoc!de but you can't defend one while degrading the other.

[deathlulls]

Xie Lian would drop the most traumatic facts ever as an anecdote and then get surprised how much it upsets Hua Cheng.

[deathlulls]

royal requiem ▬ geto suguru ✧୭ series.

PAIRING: royal painter!geto x princess!reader x duke!nanami

SUMMARY & TEASER: spanning over two decades in the nineteenth century and told through the lens of sanem's most respectable publications and infamously salacious scandal sheets, the tale of the princess of the land remains to be anything but unheard of. while the townsfolk of the kingdom hold love matches with unmatched reverence, the match of their monarchy can not be further from the same. yearning for what can never be in a world where reputation and regality are omnipotent, you, sanem's only heir inhabits the most gilded of residences, and yet, love remains a luxury that only the destitute can indulge in, and one that she is limited to observing from afar. "heavy is the head that wears the crown," your father tells you, unbeknownst to the fact that far heavier is the heart that belongs to suguru geto.

CONTENTS: royalty au set in the 1800s, afab reader, unrequited love, forbidden love, ANGST, childhood friends to lovers, age gap (b/w reader and nanami), references to sex/copulation. this series will have some written chapters, but most chapters will be newspaper clippings and letters. ﹙✧ = angst﹚ ﹙୭ = suggestive﹚

WARNINGS: will be added chapter-wise. 16+.

SERIES MASTERLIST

i. April 06, 1823 (0.4k)

ii. September 25, 1823 (0.7k)

iii. January 27, 1825

iv. February 16, 1828

v. October 08, 1832

TOTAL WORD COUNT: [tba]

TOTAL PLANNED CHAPTERS: 28-30

AUTHOR'S NOTE: my first series :> i've posted a little bit of this previously on wattpad (now removed), and i'll be continuing it here. this is not my conventional writing style, so i'll try my best! please send an ask to be part of the series tag list! enjoy reading <3

please like, share, and reblog <3 do not copy, repost, plagiarize, edit, translate, or feed my work into ai or chatbots.

﹙users under 16/ageless blogs will be blocked.﹚

[deathlulls]

your highness, i understand your everything. your courage, your despair. your kindness, your pain. your resentment, your hate. your wisdom, your foolishness.

if i could, i would have you use me as your stepping stone, the bridge you take apart after crossing, the bones you need to trample on your climb, the sinner who endures the agony of a million knives. but i know you won't allow it.

— hua cheng, heaven official's blessing

[deathlulls]

"hee hee hee hee, ha ha HA HA HA ha ha"

Qi Rong, Heaven Official's Blessing