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TJ maxx is short for Timothy Joseph Maximus

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had a dream that Tusk launched a skincare line and their whole thing was that their products were NOT cruelty free

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business idea: pie bites

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i feel like most songs about cancel culture are written by people trying to criticize society for telling them it’s not ok to say racial slurs or groom children

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lifeguards interfere with natural selection

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am i in love with him or the playlist i made about him

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gonna start collecting sports cards and trading them based on how hot the player is

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who the hell actually enjoys thin crust pizza and why is it the only kind sold frozen

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post it on the town message board and hope it doesn’t rain? millennials smh

The problem with society today is that damn internet

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what did u think of the mario movie trailer

“Huh?… w-where am I? The mushroom fuckin’ kingdom? Mama mia! this fuckin’ day”

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instead of setting a timer or alarm for your nap set a stopwatch. test your limits.

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losing my shit over this vaccination ad

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WHAT THE FUCK

why are teeth the only exposed bones in the body? i want more :(

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saying “i have trouble regulating the temperature of my baths”

- boring

- pathetic

- makes you sound like an incompetent child

saying “tub time gets HOT”

- fun

- attention grabbing

- leaves possible sexual tension between you and the tub

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bought a TI-84 calculator off ebay for $20. thought i was getting insanely lucky. turns out i just bought the case. now i have a $20 case for a calculator i don’t own

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double sided gun