demonhanabi

[demonhanabi]

Sorry for not updating.

Life dropped a box of kittens on my lap and I've been busy taking care of them.

[demonhanabi]

Chapters: 10/? Fandom: The Big Bang Theory (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sheldon Cooper/Penny Characters: Sheldon Cooper, Penny (Big Bang Theory), Leonard Hofstadter, Rajesh Koothrappali, Howard Wolowitz, Amy Farrah Fowler, Bernadette Rostenkowski, Hope (Penny’s daughter) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Attempt at Humor, Single Mom Penny, Fluff, Developing Friendships, Eventual Romance, First Kiss, Penny Is a Good Mom, Smart Kids Being Smarter Than Adults, The Elevator Works!, Angst, Light Smut, Demisexual Sheldon Cooper, Sheldon POV, Penny POV, Hope POV, Kurt is an absent father, Safe to Read if Triggered by Pregnancy, Tooth Rotting Fluff, Hope is 7, The Burn is Slow with These Two, the fluff is strong, No Bashing, Slow Romance Summary:

Penny didn’t come to California to find love—she came for a fresh start. With her daughter Hope in tow, she’s got zero time for fake smiles or guys who pretend to like kids to get a date. Sheldon isn’t like that. Sheldon doesn’t pretend.

[demonhanabi]

The End of the World Observation

Sheldon stared at the scratched but still solid door of 4A. He was rather surprised by how well the entire building had withstood the end of the world.

The main entrance had been barricaded and he had to break it open to enter. Of course he had closed it behind him, he had expected something like this so he had brought his nail gun and some extra boards.

Looking at the door once more, he forced himself to move away, he needed to investigate the entire building before entering his ‘home’.

Sheldon had been at work when the zombies attacked. It was the middle of the day and he had been working on a new proposal for an Arctic expedition when the screaming started.

He had stopped, with his hand over the keyboard. There, in the distance, screaming.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood and he knew that something was wrong. He felt his whole body fire up, as if an electric wire had touched him. He checked his phone but the signal was dead.

More screaming, getting closer.

He hesitated for a moment before grabbing the duffel bag from under his desk. Sheldon Cooper was always prepared and this office was as much his sanctuary as his apartment was.

Feedback from the PA system startled him out of his thoughts but he stared up at the small speaker in his office with rapt attention.

“Faculty members, we’re currently under attack, please barricade your doors and don’t open them until the police arrive. Stay safe.”

The woman speaking had been frantic and rushed and the announcement did nothing to calm Sheldon down.

For a moment Sheldon considered going to search for Leonard and the rest but thought better of it, the lab doors were thick and heavy, as long as Leonard followed the instructions he would be fine. Wolowitz and Koothrappali were probably together but the Engineering labs were on the other side of the campus and that would put him at risk. He needed to focus on his own survival.

Not wasting any more time he pulled the two block bars from the duffel bag and barricaded his door. He had invested money out of his pocket to replace the cheap ‘wooden’ door for a real heavy door and he was more than thankful for his own foresight.

After making sure that the door wouldn’t budge he went to check on the rest of his supplies. The bottom drawer of his desk had a small safe where he kept the gun that Meemaw had gifted him before moving to California. His body still remembered the familiar motions of loading the clip.

The duffel bag also contained a crossbow and twenty metal bolts. Heavy but resistant. A hammer and some nails. A knife. Rope. Two sets of clothes.

Next, he checked the hidden mini fridge under one of the bookshelves against the wall. Again, out of his own pocket but invaluable. He hated nothing more than warm Mountain Dew and his fridge was always well stocked.

Sheldon also had a box of MREs hidden on top of the shelves and not to mention his supply of the more mundane cup ramen. While not his ideal sustenance, in a survival situation they would have to do.

Still tense, but feeling much better he dared to go check the small window that faced the outside. He didn’t have to worry about being spotted by a potential shooter, all the windows on the second floor of the Physics building were reflective and he would only have to worry if this situation extended into the night, when reflective windows instead became a liability.

At first he saw nothing, but soon more screaming pulled his attention towards a young woman, a student, running towards the building before being caught by a swarm of people. He thought they were beating her, at least until he caught sight of the gnashing teeth.

They were eating her.

Dear Lord.

From his small window he could only stare as more and more people got caught by the zombies. Because yes, as much he wanted to deny it, there was no denying the horror in front of him, those were zombies. Their skin might have not been rotting, but there was no other definition for what he saw.

And as if that wasn’t enough evidence already, he could see that the young woman killed earlier was now a part of the swarm.

Shaking, he took a seat on his couch and grabbed the phone out of his pocket. Still no signal.

He stared at the floor for a long moment before suddenly scrambling up and going to his desk. He still had the internet.

It was as bad as he had feared. Video after video of civilization crumbling down filled his sight. Until that also went down.

He didn’t know how long he stayed like that but the next thing he knew, someone was pounding at his door. In horror he covered his mouth, not trusting himself not to make any noises.

The pounding was wild and rhythmless, he could hear moaning and groaning and it made him whimper. He shakily stood up and moved to curl up under his desk.

This was a nightmare.

That had been almost two months ago. Slowly he had gained the confidence to try and gather resources while making his office his main base. As far as he knew, he was the last living person at Caltech. Using the crossbow he slowly but surely cleared his building, the maintenance room was a treasure trove with the biggest booty being the nail gun and several batteries.

Thankfully the zombies went down easy enough with a well placed bolt to the head.

He even dared to go to the labs to try and see if Leonard was there but he never saw his friend. Not as a victim and not as a zombie. He ignored the small flicker of hope in his chest. Maybe Leonard had made it out.

Leslie Winkle hadn’t been as lucky. Her body had been ravaged beyond recognition, but her head had been left alone by some miracle. Her face was locked in a rictus of horror and Sheldon hoped her death had been quick. No one deserved to be eaten by those things while still alive.

He knew that staying at Caltech for the long term would be ideal but hard to achieve. He was running low on food and he would have to venture out into the world to scavenge for more.

Or he could risk it all to try and reach Los Robles.

At his apartment he had a large supply of MREs and non-perishables. Not to mention an actual radio, plus flares and other tools that could help him reach whatever remains of civilization existed out there. And most of his plans had included the building. His basement storage cage had several materials to create rain collectors and water filters.

There was only one choice.

He gathered as many supplies as he could carry and he made his way out to the street. The apartment was only ten minutes away by car, however, it would take him seventy five minutes on foot.

Seventy five minutes fully exposed.

But Sheldon had no option. He departed right before sunrise, hoping that the darkness would protect him. He decided to not engage in combat and instead to just move, to run and hide until he got to the apartment building.

It was hard and he almost didn’t make it, but thanks to his own acquired skills on zombie hunting and hiding he had made it back to Los Robles.

Sheldon stared at the door to 4A once again. His chest was full of emotions he couldn’t identify.

The building was empty.

He could hazard a guess that perhaps the tenants had all been evacuated or perhaps the landlord had barricaded both the living and dead from entering.

The landlord!

The thought made him stop. He had checked the entire building, including the rooftop, but somehow he had forgotten to check the basement.

Sheldon ran his fingers over the door’s surface in an irrational display of emotion before aiming his crossbow back up and going to check the basement.

One bolt to the head and he dealt with the only body in the building.

Sheldon had never really liked the landlord, but still, he felt bad for the man.

Since he was in the basement anyway, he checked his storage cage and was happy to find it untouched, he would not be suffering from lack of potable water.

Going back up the stairs he stood in front of 4A yet once more. Taking a deep breath, he slid the key in and delighted in the way the door opened.

Carefully he peered in, checking behind the couch and the kitchen island, checking the small storage room in the back before moving to check the hallway and bedrooms.

The bathroom was clear. No, that wasn't true. Blood.

Sheldon blinked at the bloody footprint on the tile. It was small. A woman’s.

Swallowing hard he ignored the heavy coldness in his stomach.

Next, he checked Leonard’s room. Clean. No one had been here since the day everything died.

Slowly, he moved towards his own room and hesitated with his hand on the doorknob. Gulping, he opened the door.

Clean. No one had been her-

No.

There was a lump on his bed, under the covers.

He raised the crossbow and carefully, slowly he made his way into his own room.

Sheldon knew how to pray. Being a part of his family made it non-optional. But he only pretended to do it to appease his mother. He had never actually prayed, not even when his father had died. And yet, he found himself praying.

‘Please god, please. Let it be a stranger.’

As soon as he was close, he quickly removed the cover and stepped back.

The smell hit him first. Rot. But he didn’t gag. The smell no longer bothered him.

No, what made him drop on his behind as he scrambled backwards in horror was the person that was on his bed.

Penny.

She looked as if she was simply sleeping, if it wasn’t for the large gash in her arm he might have believed that.

Penny.

His brain was trying to make sense of the scene in front of him. He analyzed it coldly. She had been injured by someone infected, she cleaned her wound in the bathroom, but the infection probably had already advanced beyond hope and in her confusion she came into his bedroom to die.

Penny.

“People can’t be in my room.” He muttered to himself, hysteria at the edges of his voice.

Penny.

Movement from the bed made him freeze. Groaning, Penny began moving, her teeth clacked and the smell was made worse.

Penny.

Her eyes found him.

Penny.

Penny had green eyes, but as she was right now, her eyes were more yellow than green.

Penny.

She lunged from the bed towards him but her limbs were tangled in the covers and she slammed onto the floor, hard. Flopping like a fish in her fight to free herself.

Penny.

Sheldon quickly stood up and ran out the room. In the living room he aimed the crossbow towards the hallway, his hands shaking.

Penny.

She stumbled into view, teeth gnashing at him.

Penny.

“I don’t want to do this, please stop!” He told his friend. Begged her. Maybe she was special. Maybe she could fight the virus.

Penny.

She advanced and Sheldon wanted to cry. He knew what he had to do. His whole body shook.

Penny.

Oddly, Penny didn’t lunge at him, she walked slowly towards him. But that only made it worse.

“Please stop.” He begged her again.

Penny raised her arms towards him, like she wanted to hug him and he took another step back, but before he knew it, his back was against the front door.

Penny didn’t stop.

“Argh!” He yelled at her, pure nonsense and noise. He knew it was irrational but this situation frayed at his sanity.

His finger sat on the trigger.

“Shel…don…” Penny moaned before lunging at him.

The twang of the crossbow filled his ears. His finger moved before his brain could process it.

Penny dropped heavily on the floor. A metal bolt right between her eyes.

Sheldon stood frozen in place before screaming in rage and confusion, tears ran down his face. She had called his name. He had heard it. She had called his name!

Penny.

Still screaming he pulled the gun from his belt and put it under his chin.

*BANG*

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57958171/chapters/163632136

[demonhanabi]

The Happenstance Reaction - Pre-wedding jitters.

“Are you nervous Moonpie? About the wedding I mean.” Penny adds that last part, otherwise Sheldon might take it too literally.

He had just dipped his nugget in the BBQ sauce, stopped and faced her. “No. If I hadn’t been a hundred percent sure, I would not have proposed.”

Penny snorts, how could she forget, her Moonpie was the romantic between them. Sarcasm.

“I know Shelly, but, you know…” Penny looks down and pretends to be interested in dipping her nugget. “Maybe there’s someone better for you out there.” She has to close her eyes, shame creeps up her neck until she can feel her face flaming.

[demonhanabi]

Still to this day.

Any shenny shippers still out there ???

[demonhanabi]

The Dating Misunderstanding Conjecture Chapter 1

“Penny, this is unacceptable. You are an integral part of my team and-” Sheldon had a funny way of begging. As in he didn’t, he demanded.

“No Sheldon.”

“But Penny…”

Penny raised an eyebrow and motioned with her head to the other four girls sitting around her coffee table.

“I have company Moonpie, I can’t and I won’t leave them to go play Halo with you.” Penny shook her head and tried to smother the smile that wanted to break through. “You can play with Raj.”

“Koothrappali will be a lackluster replacement for you but since you have company it will have to do. Ladies.” Sheldon nodded at the group and left to go back to 4A.

Penny finally smiled a little as she closed the door and then moved to sit back down between Dani and Erica on her couch.

“Okay, you guys are too cute.” Dani pretended to gag. “You’re there flirting right in front of us with your boy toy and I just got dumped. Life sucks.” She took a long drink of her wine glass.

Penny froze as her brain tried to make sense of what she just heard.

“I know!” The other girls said in unison before Erica slapped Penny’s leg and laughed as she said. “We’re just teasing. You’re still in that honeymoon phase so it’s fine.” She sighed fondly. “I still remember when Brian and I were like that.”

“Oh god no, you guys were waaaaaay worse.” Toni groaned. “I’m so happy we’re no longer roommates because I was this close to killing you both.” Toni squinted and pressed two fingers together.

Carly laughed and nodded. “Yep, yep. At least Penny still complains about her boyfriend, but you still think the sun shines out of Brian’s ass.”

Erica gasped in disbelief before laughing along with the rest. Penny was still trying to restart her brain.

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait.” She interrupted the still laughing girls. “I’m not dating Sheldon.”

Silence before Erica busted out laughing followed by the others. “Good one Pen.”

“I almost believed you.” Carly downed the rest of her glass and moved to serve herself another.

“Honestly. And I say this from the bottom of my heart. Fuck you.” Dani was also doing her best to down her glass of wine.

Toni just gave her the middle finger while drinking out of her own glass.

“No, no. Guys, I’m serious. We’re not dating.”

Erica frowned and shared a look with the others. “Penny…you told us that you had started dating your neighbor.” She said it slowly as if Penny had hurt her head.

The rest nodded.

“Yes! But not Sheldon! I’m dating Leonard!” Penny felt as if she was taking crazy pills.

A blank look on everyone’s face and Penny felt some dread in her stomach.

“Who?” Carly said finally after frowning in thought.

“Sheldon’s roommate…you know, the guy from the Halloween party.” She told them.

A look was shared between the girls before Erica asked. “Kind of cute Indian guy?”

“That’s Raj.”

Dani raised her hand as if they were in class. “Oh, oh, oh! I know, the guy that was wearing the kid’s sized robin hood costume!”

“Ew, hell no. That’s Howard.”

Carly frowned in thought before shrugging. “No idea then.”

“No, no wait, I think I remember him.” Dani said. “Even shorter guy with glasses?” She waited until Penny nodded in confirmation. “Yay, an even shorter guy with glasses and he was dressed as…a forest fairy? No, as a…I don’t know man, he was dressed as something green.”

“Yeah, he was a hobbit.” At the blank look she tried to explain. “It’s from The Lord of the…you know, it doesn’t matter. But yes, that’s Leonard.”

“Huh.” Erica said and shared a loaded look with the other girls. “That’s nice…”

Penny knew that tone and look, she had used it herself more than once. “What? C’mon, it’s obvious you have something to say.” Penny didn’t want to be a bitch but her relationship with Leonard was still only a month old and she felt like she needed to defend it.

“Look Pen, forget it. We were just surprised, now, tell us about that new audition you have coming up.” Dani always acted like the older sister of the group.

“No, no, no, I saw the look. Tell me.” For some reason Penny couldn’t let bygones be bygones.

Carly being drunker than anyone else easily took the bait. “Well…how come you don’t talk about him then?” She pointed with her glass at Penny and sloshed some wine on her sleeve.

“What? I talk about him. Right?” Penny asked more to herself than to the girls.

“Okay, since we’re airing this now for some reason.” Erica started. “You can’t blame us for assuming it was tall and crazy who you were shacking up with. Hell, this week you told me that you couldn’t go shopping with me because you had to take Sheldon to the mall to buy underwear. And I quote ‘No adult man should still wear tighty whities.’ What was I supposed to think?” Erica’s face was confused.

“I…it’s not like that…” Penny tried to defend herself but she wasn’t sure how. “We’re just friends.”

“Friends don’t see each other in their underwear.” Erica raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, yeah, and you don’t go dancing as often with us! It’s always ‘Sheldon this’ and ‘Sheldon that’.” Toni picked up the thread.

“...” Penny had nothing to say to that.

“Okay Hon, I don’t want to pile on you but, remember that Superbowl party you threw? Sheldon was the only one of the guys there that could talk Football.” Erica continued. “I mean, did you know that Sheldon is running a Fantasy Football League game for Brian and his gym buddies?”

That finally made Penny react. “Wait, what? He’s what?”

“Yeah. I thought you knew?”

“No, I had no idea.”

“Huh, well anyway, the point is. Sheldon was the only one that tried to fit in with the others.”

“No he didn’t. He just wanted to prove Brian wrong.”

“The point is. I thought he was the obvious choice. He makes you crazy, you have your little flirting or teasing whatever thing that is. Every single conversation that we have, his name comes up for some reason.”

“Wait, what Superbowl party?” Carly was fairly drunk now.

“You were with that Puerto-Rican guy and couldn’t make it.” Toni reminded her.

“...oh!, yeah, I remember now. Diego was a sweetheart. I should call him.” Carly said wistfully.

“Anyway.” Erica said. “You see now?”

“Holy crap on a cracker…”

“I think she’s seeing it now.” Dani said helpfully.

Soon the conversation moved to other topics but that night once she went to bed, the conversation would replay over and over in her head.

“Now what?” She said to her empty room.

[demonhanabi]

Honestly?, I go back to it at least once a year. Still to this day.

I am absolutely, resolutely, not going to read The Paladin Protocol again.

I’m not.

I want to though.

[demonhanabi]

All of this.

I really hate how they always dumbed down penny,,I mean yeah she wasn't as academically smart as the rest of them but she was the most socially mature?? Out of all of them?? She's the only one who wasn't awkward in public and I personally love that idc. You don't have to be academically smart to actually be considered smart. Thank you. Bye.

[demonhanabi]

I honestly can see this, it seems so obvious now.

I see Penny from the Big Bang theory being a yander like she would be the perfect yandere, she already knows Sheldon's habits, schedule, even his food, by no one's fault but his own, she would be perfect.

Girl I’m still waiting for a fic, I was sold from the teaser. Bring me the Penny!!

[demonhanabi]

The NTR Proposition

“It’ll be good. I swear!” Leonard smiled awkwardly and hopefully at her.

Penny wasn’t sure what kind of face she was making but going by Leonard’s sudden frantic explanations and justifications, it probably wasn’t a good one.

“Look, I know it’s unconventional but we can kill two birds with one stone if we go through with this.” Leonard tried smiling at her again and before today she might have found it cute but now it made her stomach turn.

“Stop with this ‘we’ bullshit! There’s no ‘we’.” She went to stand up.

Leonard stood up quickly and pushed her to sit back down. “No, no, no, look. You mentioned fantasizing about a threesome right? Why would this be different than that?”

Penny gaped at Leonard, she couldn’t believe he was trying to twist her fantasy this way. “Let me get this straight. You want to…pimp me out, because that’s what this is, make no mistake Leonard. This is exactly that. You want to pimp me out to your best friend so that he might forgive you, for real this time. Oh and as if that wasn’t enough, you also want to watch as he fucks me because I guess that’s your own fucked up fantasy? Did I miss anything?” Penny crossed her arms and glared at Leonard.

Leonard at least had the decency to look ashamed. She still couldn’t believe he dared to even suggest this shit.

She should have known that something was up. He was acting fishy when he told her that he was going to cook for her and that they could have a ‘special’ date night. To think that she had been actually excited about this shit.

She was such a fool. Leonard was just like the rest.

“Penny, you told me that you felt that lately our sex life was feeling dull right? And that you wanted to spice it up a bit.”

“Not like this!”

“Please! Penny, please. Sheldon still only talks to me in a very clipped tone of voice, I can tell he hasn’t really forgiven us.”

“Again, you think that him having sex with me is going to change that?”

“How is this any different from a threesome?!” He ignored her question.

“How is this even remotely close to a threesome?!” Penny felt that she was going insane.

“It is! It is! You only have to do it once and this way we can go back to normal.”

“What normal?! Leonard I don’t…I don’t understand you.” A bad headache was forming in the back of her head.

“Penny, please. I love you so much and this will be good for us.” He insisted.

“I…” She trailed off. She should break up with him, this was so messed up.

“Penny. I swear this will fix everything.” She thought he looked too desperate but for some stupid reason she was still listening to his BS and not kicking him out.

***

Leonard let out a breath as he closed Penny’s door behind him. He had managed to convince her, somehow. It surprised him, he thought he was going to have to try harder.

But now, that left the most troublesome one. Sheldon had never been the same since the Arctic and their little prank.

Sure, he had returned to Pasadena but there was something wrong with him, he wasn’t as…Sheldon as before. Leonard refused to admit to himself that they had hurt him. No, he was fine, he was just being a sore loser.

The image of Sheldon lying in bed completely heartbroken appeared in his mind and Leonard sneered and shook his head. No.

It was just a prank.

Leonard stopped right outside the door to 4A and took his inhaler out to take a hit. He felt ready to hyperventilate and he didn’t want to pass out while he explained his idea to Sheldon.

He didn’t tell Penny, but there was another reason why he had chosen Sheldon over some random man online, or Raj or Howard.

Sheldon was safe. There was no way in hell that Sheldon would steal Penny away from him, no chance that Penny would fall in love with him and Leonard wouldn’t feel threatened by watching him have sex with Penny.

Not to mention that if he had mentioned Howard’s name, she would most likely have punched him in the throat.

Leonard didn’t know why he felt these urges, to watch the woman he loved have sex with another man, but this was the safest way to explore this fantasy of his, and if he didn’t enjoy it, well no great loss. Sure, Penny and Sheldon might be awkward around each other but that would honestly be a plus in his book. He didn’t like how close those two were sometimes.

He was already expecting Sheldon to be a pain in the ass to try and get on board with his idea, but he was prepared. He had already drafted one of those stupid contracts that his roommate loved so much, he was giving up six months worth of lab time-slots, his Xbox, a freaking GTX 980 and his couch.

Leonard hoped it was enough to convince Pinocchio to go ahead with this and so they could finally move on from the Arctic fiasco and continue with their lives. Sheldon was always bringing the vibe down.

***

Sheldon stared intently at the paper in front of him, not because he didn’t understand the words, but because he knew that if he looked up and saw Leonard’s smug smile, he would act in an irrational and violent manner. Much like his father would have.

Ever since the Arctic ‘incident’, Sheldon had found himself questioning his entire life.

He was forced by his mother to turn the other cheek and his…friends easily moved on, acting as if Sheldon’s pain and suffering were nothing more than the whims of a child. His entire academic life was destroyed.

No big deal.

Sheldon himself was guilty of trying to return to form, to return to those same days where his biggest concern was Leonard eating French toast on what was supposed to be oatmeal day. Alas, those days were long gone.

Now his days were spent trying to recover some of his crumbling reputation.

And in the middle of him trying to keep his life from toppling over, here Leonard came with an asinine and revolting idea, an idea that in his mind would make the status quo return as if by magic.

He had always thought that Leonard was a simpleton but this proved that Sheldon had been too generous in his assessment.

“And how will you convince Penny to participate in this…endeavor of yours?” Sheldon asked, his eyes still glued to the contract. Lab time, a console, a GPU…trinkets.

“Don’t you worry about that buddy, I have it all under control.” Leonard could do nothing to hide the smugness in his voice. Had Sheldon overlooked how often he used this tone of voice?

“You of course know that this is not only idiotic but will also cause your already crumbling relationship with Penny to come to its fully expected end in a much faster fashion?” Sheldon asked as he flicked a page.

“...I’m not breaking up with Penny…” Leonard’s tone indicated he was trying to be threatening but Sheldon found him amusing instead.

Sheldon put the contract down and sat back fully on his seat. He should say no to this stupid idea, he should pretend that he never heard Leonard utter such hogwash.

But despite all, Sheldon was a Cooper. And Coopers were vindictive and let their anger get the best of them. He was angry at Leonard, he was angry at his mother, he was angry at Howard, he was angry at Raj but most of all he was angry at himself. For trusting in these individuals.

“I’ll agree under one condition, non-negotiable.” Sheldon tapped his chin with one finger, pretending to think it over.

Sheldon Lee Cooper would get his revenge. He knew that Leonard was obsessed with Penny, this situation would hurt him. If Sheldon was a good person, he would say no.

“Anything buddy.” The relief in Leonard’s voice only made Sheldon angrier.

Sheldon wasn’t a good person.

***

Leonard made sure that his bedroom door was locked, he turned off all the lights and then settled in his bed, under the covers and he pulled his iPad out while leaning against his headboard. The glare of the screen illuminated his little blanket fort.

He quickly navigated to the right website, put in the long password that Sheldon gave him and waited for the site to check his IP address and MAC address.

His roommate was a paranoid bastard but Leonard appreciated it this time. He didn’t want anyone but himself to watch what was about to happen.

The one request that Sheldon had made was that he didn’t want Leonard in the same room and he offered to set up a video feed which Leonard had no other choice but to accept.

For now the video only showed an empty bedroom. Penny’s.

Excitement filled his stomach and his hands trembled as he held the iPad in front of him. He wanted to text Penny to tell her to hurry up but he would be patient. He had already asked several things from her and had even left a little present for her.

***

Penny eyed the bottle of Tequila sitting innocently on her kitchen counter. It was brand new and Leonard had bought it for her. ‘So that you can relax and get in the mood.’ the card next to it read.

It was no secret that she was a clingy and horny drunk, but she hated that Leonard thought all he needed to do was to get her drunk and then she would be able to fuck his best friend without issues.

Her eyes flicked to the tall man sitting anxiously on her couch before she focused back on the bottle. ‘Well…maybe one drink wouldn’t hurt.’

“Penny, I apologize, I have to go.” Sheldon startled her, he stood up quickly and he nervously clenched and unclenched his hands.

The amount of relief she felt at him backing down almost toppled her to the floor. “Sheldon, honey, it’s okay-”

“No it’s not! This is not me! I don’t know what I was thinking. Dear lord.” Sheldon had moved towards the door but he turned and ran towards her sink, almost tackling her. He bent over the sink and gagged a couple of times but nothing came out.

Feeling lost, she approached him and rubbed small circles on his back. “There, there. Penny is here.” Her voice was soft as she tried to make light of the situation.

Sheldon stopped gagging and he hanged his head. She had never seen him be so…defeated.

“I…I apologize. I can’t go through with this.” She couldn’t see his face but his tone of voice broke her heart.

“Hey, hey, look at me. It’s fine. We don’t have to go through with this. Is it your first time? It has to be with someone that you love and care for and-” Penny rambled but Sheldon raised a hand to stop her.

“Nothing of the sort. This would not be my first sexual encounter.”

“Oh.” Somehow, knowing that made her feel weird. Unsettled in a way. She had not expected this.

“No, I have to apologize to you. I initially agreed to do this because…” Sheldon hesitated and he turned his face away from her. “I wanted to hurt Leonard. I thought that despite whatever belief he had that this is what he wanted, that it would bring him pain and…I was a fool. I’m really sorry Penny. I should know better than this. I almost used you for this foolish idea of revenge.”

He really looked ashamed. This little confession of his finally made the situation click in her mind. She hadn’t understood how Leonard managed to get him to say yes.

“Sweetie. I probably should have asked this a long time ago, but, talk to me.” She needed to know why his eyes held so much pain. Maybe she had been too focused on Leonard being back to focus on her other neighbor.

***

Leonard bit his lip and looked at the time in the corner of the screen. He knew that Sheldon would probably have some second thoughts but he expected that even ‘Homo Novus’ would fall to the charms of a drunk and flirty Penny.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. The anticipation was getting to him, what kind of faces would Penny make? Would she come?

He couldn’t wait but he was forcing himself to be patient.

Excitement made him salivate in anticipation.

***

Penny frowned in thought as she digested what Sheldon had just told her. How much credibility he lost in his work, how humiliated he was, how lost he was and most of all, how angry he was. He was angry at Leonard, Raj and Howard, but he was also angry at his mom, he was angry at…well, basically everyone. She wasn’t spared either, he said that she was more interested in sleeping with Leonard than being his friend.

Ouch. She couldn’t really refute that. Double ouch.

Sheldon wanted revenge. He wanted to make Leonard suffer and he believed that Leonard would regret asking this ‘favor’. But as the time came close, he got second thoughts. He hadn’t considered her, it wasn’t until he got to her apartment that he realized she would be part of this plan as well.

“I apologize Penny. I truly don’t know what got into me.” Sheldon’s face revealed how ashamed he was.

Penny felt for him and she understood his reaction better now. If someone had ‘pranked’ her in the same way, making her think she had filmed a movie only to reveal it was all fake, she would have ran away as well. No, she would have killed someone.

Silence filled the room. At least until her phone chirped, it was on the coffee table so she leaned over Sheldon to grab it.

‘Can you guys hurry?’ That’s all that Leonard’s message said.

Penny sucked on her teeth, instantly annoyed, no, not annoyed. Pissed off as hell.

She looked up at Sheldon. Maybe this was a bad idea…

“Hey Sheldon.”

But she wasn’t known for having great ideas anyway.

***

Leonard huffed in annoyance. It had been almost five minutes since he sent a text to Penny and the video still showed an empty bedroom.

He tapped his fingers on the back of the iPad and wondered if maybe it was time to go to Penny’s apartment. Sheldon was most likely being a pain in the ass and having second thoughts.

“I should have known.” Leonard muttered to himself, not even angry. Of course, Sheldon always had to ruin his fun.

He sighed and was about to go out under the covers when he finally saw movement in the live feed.

Penny was leading a tame Sheldon by the hand. She wasn’t wearing anything sexy which annoyed him. There was nothing sexy about her Care Bear pajamas. Sheldon was…Sheldon, he was in his usual slacks and shirts.

Leonard watched as Penny said something to Sheldon but he frowned at being unable to make out the words. Damn cheap mic. The sound was awful, he could see his girlfriend and roommate talk, but he was only able to hear a distant buzzing.

The camera was Sheldon’s, the one he used to record his trains. And while it was a top of the line camera, it didn’t include a boom mic. At least the image was clear and not grainy. It had been set up on the shelf on top of Penny’s headboard and it was slightly off center.

He watched as Sheldon took a seat at the foot of the bed, his posture was tense and he looked ready to jump out of his skin.

Leonard snickered and a knot of something unraveled in his spine. He felt relieved.

Penny grabbed Sheldon’s shoulders and whispered something to him, her mouth close to his ear and in the video it looked far too intimate.

That knot appeared again.

Sheldon relaxed somewhat and Penny glanced at the camera quickly and a flutter in his stomach made him smile. “Yeah, I’m watching baby.” Leonard muttered under the covers. His breath was warm in the little improvised fort and he was getting excited.

***

Sheldon should have said no to Penny. He did say no in fact, but he should have tried harder. She also wanted to get even at Leonard and it was her suggestion that they should pretend to go through with it. Make Leonard squirm and suffer and then they could stop.

He agreed with her assessment that Leonard would be unable to go through with this without intervening and interrupting them first. Leonard was too self centered for anything else.

Still, he should have said no more firmly.

But he wanted revenge still, so now he sat on Penny’s bed. His shoulders were tense and he wanted to bolt out of there.

“Relax Sweetie, remember, we’re just playing pretend.” Penny whispered in his ear. She was so close that he could easily smell the vanilla of her body cream. Her warm breath tickled his ear and he turned his head away but that brought his mouth closer to hers.

Sheldon held his breath but Penny smiled at him, glanced at the camera behind him and then stepped back. Right, they were just pretending.

His shoulders relaxed and he breathed normally again. This was just pretending.

Penny was an active participant and not being used. He could live with that.

Sheldon wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he had gone through with Leonard’s idea. Penny was not an object to be used by them.

***

Penny let out a breath as she stepped back from Sheldon. For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her and it freaked her out, not because of the kiss itself but because she wouldn’t have minded that much.

This was fucked.

So fucked.

Penny hated cheaters and that’s why she didn’t want to do this. But Leonard had been so insistent, had begged her, he had given her that kicked puppy dog look that for some reason got to her and even then she had said no. But then Leonard had pulled the big guns, how unloved he felt, how much his mom hurt him and that this would be a way for him to heal.

He insisted this wasn’t cheating, because he was aware and happy to see her with someone else.

This was so fucked up.

She had to face the fact that Leonard wasn’t the man she thought he was. This was just another thing on a growing list of concerns she had about her relationship and where it was headed. It didn’t help that she now understood how big of a betrayal the Arctic was.

Leonard had downplayed it. ‘It’s not a big deal.’

But Sheldon explained it to her, the loss of reputation, credibility, funding. That last part was what would most likely stump his career for a long time. No one would want to trust him with any funding. And no funding meant that he couldn’t get his projects off the ground and he couldn’t even ask other people to do his experiments, because who could trust him now?

Fuck Leonard. Or not, she would have never slept with him if she had known the reality of the situation. Sheldon might have not connected the dots but she did, oh she did, Leonard sabotaged the experiment so he could come home sooner and get into her pants. She didn’t buy that excuse about Sheldon being too much. Sheldon always was too much, how long had they been roommates? That excuse didn’t pass the sniff test.

Honestly, it made her feel used and cheap. And she was starting to notice that it was a very common feeling when it came to Leonard, he loved to call her a slut in bed, loved to comment on how ‘experienced’ she was and at the same time he got upset that she wasn’t a virgin schoolgirl and that she had previous boyfriends and one-night stands.

And it all came to a head tonight.

To be perfectly honest, she was already planning on backing out of this whole ordeal. She didn’t care that Sheldon had accepted against all odds. That was the reason why she was wearing her regular pajamas and not a little black dress like Leonard asked.

She was not going to sleep with another man just because her boyfriend wanted her to.

But then she got pissed off and asked Sheldon to pretend to go through with this. Damn her bad temper.

Standing in front of Sheldon she was already regretting this idea.

“Er, let me put on some music.” Penny scratched her temple before moving to put her iPod in the little docket thingy. She scrolled through her playlists and stopped at one she hadn’t opened in a while. Leonard wasn’t a fan of having music while they had sex and honestly, she didn’t want to play this list to him (he might get the wrong idea), so it sat unused.

Might as well use it now.

♫ I got all the time in the world. ♫

♫ Don’t you want some of that? ♫

The slow music filled the room and almost against her will she started getting excited. This playlist had more good memories than bad and it always brought a smile to her face.

Heat filled her belly and she decided to give her asshole boyfriend a show.

Moving back to stand in front of Sheldon she turned her back on him and started moving her hips slowly side to side.

“What are you doing?” Sheldon sounded confused.

“Uh, dancing?” She didn’t stop moving but she did turn her face.

“Why?” Sheldon tilted his head to watch her.

“Because it’s sexy, or at least it’s supposed to be.” She was trying really hard not to get distracted.

“Ah, I see.” Sheldon blinked and then turned to look directly at her ass, not even trying to pretend he wasn’t watching.

Laughter bubbled out of her. This whole situation was ridiculous but Penny couldn’t deny that she was having fun with this so far.

She glanced at the camera again and her laughter died immediately. Right, she was doing this because of that asshole.

Turning her face back to her bedroom wall she slowly took her shirt off. The bra she was wearing wasn’t particularly sexy but at least it was clean and had no holes in it. She cringed internally, it wasn’t that she was expecting to show it off, it was just the only clean one left.

When her shirt was off, she didn’t throw it to the side, choosing instead to bunch it up in front of her as a makeshift barrier. She turned to see if Sheldon was still paying attention but the question died in her throat.

Sheldon was biting his lip and his hands were tightly grabbing onto her bed on either side of him. The look on his face was not one she ever expected to see on him. Lust.

Penny shuddered, her body suddenly feeling hot. She quickly turned back to face the wall. ‘Maybe we should stop.’ She quickly dismissed the thought. No, this was just pretend.

They were just playing around.

She continued dancing, she might have been playing around but she was still trying to be sexy. Carefully she unhooked her bra, still keeping the shirt in her hands. First, one arm and then the next in a move she had done a hundred times and suddenly the bra was free. Penny could easily feel how warm the bra was and before she could consider the wicked idea more than once, she threw it behind her at Sheldon.

She watched as he easily caught it and it looked like he was crushing it in his fist with how tightly he was holding it. “Dear Lord…” He muttered to himself as he stared at the bra in his hand. After a moment he looked up and the look in his eyes made her shudder again.

Pretending, yeah, they were just pretending.

Penny held his eyes for a long moment before turning back to face the wall. She still had the shirt covering her front as she kept dancing.

Maybe she could do a little more.

Just a little more.

♫ You wanted none of that. ♫

♫ You wanted none of that. ♫

Carefully, swaying her hips, she undid the cord of her sweatpants. Without the knot, it only took a moment for the movement of her hips to do the rest of the work. Her sweatpants fell slowly and she exaggerated the movement of her hips to help it along the way.

Sheldon’s sharp breath as her ass was exposed filled her belly with pride and heat. She knew that she had a fantastic ass.

Penny kicked off her pants to the side, towards her hamper and even with the music playing she was able to hear Sheldon grumble about just putting clothes in the hamper and it made her smile again.

She had worn a pair of everyday panties, they were the seamless kind, purple, cheeky and they hugged her ass nicely. Penny had always hated panty lines so even her regular underwear was form fitting and smooth.

Leaning forward she wasn’t surprised by the hiss of pleasure and surprise coming from Sheldon. He seemed to have a thing for her ass, she noticed.

The song ended just as she stood up. The sudden silence of the room made it easier for her to catch Sheldon’s rapid breathing.

Maybe it was time to stop.

She was half naked here and Sheldon seemed to be getting too into this…she was also maybe getting a little too into this as well.

Penny turned to face Sheldon, making sure that the shirt still covered her chest. As soon as she turned, she saw as Sheldon focused on her crotch.

She shuddered again. A gust of cold air made her aware of the growing wet spot in her panties.

The next song in the playlist started.

♫ I remember when I first noticed that you liked me back. ♫

Penny licked her lips. ‘Maybe just a little more. The song is already playing anyway.’

Before she could think twice, she dropped the shirt and tossed it to the side, into the hamper. Sheldon didn’t comment this time.

Penny kept dancing, moving slowly to the rhythm of the music, but she kept her attention on Sheldon, she needed to see his reaction.

Sheldon stopped breathing, he literally stopped moving as he stared at her. Her arms went around herself, in a way that did nothing to cover her breasts, instead she pushed her chest to make her girls preen. Sheldon grunted and the heat inside her burned brightly.

She approached him, she wanted to ask him if this was enough. She wanted to see if Sheldon wanted to stop.

‘Yes, stop. We should stop.’ She kept repeating to herself.

But it didn’t matter, because as soon as she was close to Sheldon, her mind went blank. The reason for that was that for some damn reason, as soon as she was close, Sheldon had put a hand on her hip.

His hand was cold, but to her body, it was as if he had shocked her, in more ways than one.

“Sheldon?” She asked in a breathless whisper.

He looked up at her, his eyes were pools of dark blue, dark enough to be almost black. He didn’t answer.

♫ I’ve been waiting for you to slip back into bed. ♫

“Sheldon?” Her hand moved, she wanted to touch his neck but instead it went to his shoulder.

Sheldon never took his eyes off her but his hand started moving. Up and down her leg, slowly, sensually. It made her shudder in pleasure and she could feel herself growing wetter by the moment.

‘I should stop this.’ But the thought was distant and faint with his large hand roaming her leg.

She had no idea how long they stayed like that.

♫ Think I like you best when you’re just with me. ♫

Sheldon kept rubbing her leg and in an upwards stroke, his finger met the fabric of her panties. He took a sudden and surprised breath and turned frightened eyes on her.

‘Yeah, this seems like a good moment to stop.’ She thought.

♫ I’ve been waiting for you. ♫

Looking at him straight in the eye, she took a hold of his finger, hooked it on her panties and guided him to pull them down.

He looked shocked for a moment before he muttered. “Pretending, we’re just pretending.”

Penny nodded, knowing full well that they were way past the point of pretending.

Sheldon carefully pulled down her panties, she shuddered again when the cool air hit her shaved pussy and she watched as Sheldon opened his mouth in awe at seeing the small wet spot give way to a glistening strand of her juices that broke mid thigh and stuck to her skin.

“Fascinating.” He gulped and muttered. He was so close to her pussy that it made her squeeze her legs in frustration at feeling his breath hit her aching pussy.

She jumped as Sheldon’s hand returned, but this time he was holding more ass than hip.

Penny took a step closer to Sheldon. “You like what you see?” She tried to tease him.

Sheldon stopped admiring her pussy to look up at her. “Penny. Some of the greatest mathematical minds through time. From Euclid to Roger Penrose, have spent uncountable hours studying something called ‘The Golden Ratio’. And not only them, biologists, painters, musicians and even mystics have dedicated their lives to understand what makes this shape so appealing and attractive. Until now, I had scoffed at them and their efforts. But seeing you, like this in front of me, I finally understand why they dedicated so much time to it. You’re the personification of this ratio in its utmost beauty.”

Penny stared at him slack jawed. Tears filled her eyes and emotion almost overwhelmed her.

Her body reacted before her mind could. She threw herself at Sheldon and kissed him, trying to show him how much those words meant to her.

Sheldon froze but some primal part of his brain took over because he returned the kiss just as frantically.

It was messy, desperate and perfect.

Before she knew it, she was in Sheldon’s lap, straddling him and rubbing herself on him. Sheldon was pushing against her and it made her moan into the kiss.

Sheldon broke the kiss. “Pretend. Pretend.” He gasped out.

She nodded and stole his lips again and was happy when Sheldon didn’t break away.

They continued kissing and Penny lost the grasp on time. Next thing she knew, her playlist was on another of her favorite songs.

♫ Remembering you standing quiet in the rain. ♫

“Penny.” Sheldon groaned her name between kisses and she knew exactly what he wanted, no, what he needed.

She knew because she needed it as well.

His pants should have been easy to open, but between their frantic pawing at the belt and their need to keep kissing each other, it took far longer than she liked.

♫ Remembering you, fallen into my arms. ♫

After what felt like an eternity she finally managed to get him loose out of his pants and she took a moment to look over his dick.

“You were holding out on me Sheldon.” She exclaimed, half joke and half awe.

“Penny…” He groaned and she smirked at him before guiding him into her entrance. “Wait!”

Penny wanted to whine like a cat, the head of his dick was just barely opening her nether lips and she wanted to slam down on his dick.

“What?” She didn’t want to wait.

Sheldon pulled her closer to him and whispered to her ear. “This is not pretending.”

Penny stopped moving and thought about it before allowing her weight to impale her on Sheldon’s dick.

Sheldon hissed before groaning and he held her tight against him, her own arms surrounded him.

Penny moaned and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of being slowly filled. She kept going until there was no more room between them. She enjoyed the position for a short moment before pushing herself on with her legs and then slamming back down.

Sheldon kept muttering something about math and formulas but she didn’t care, she only wanted to keep moving.

It was frantic, hurried and so much fun. Penny had almost forgotten that sex was supposed to be fun.

The sounds of flesh slapping flesh filled the room and the sound made her toes curl. She was fucking Sheldon Cooper, or he was fucking her. She didn’t care. She just wanted to keep going.

“Penny!” He growled her name and she hurried her pace.

“Keep going, I’m almost there!” She could barely get the words out before her orgasm hit her like a train.

Feeling so much, she could only do one thing. She bit down on Sheldon’s shoulder. Hard. The fabric of his shirts kept her from doing any actual harm but it didn’t stop her from groaning her pleasure away as she rode her orgasm.

Go read the rest at:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62057320

[demonhanabi]

The Fae Contract Complication - Treat

Queen Penelope watched in wry amusement at the figures 'fighting' in front of her. She was fully leaned back in her throne, one of her elbows rested on the armrest as she leaned her head into her hand, showing obvious boredom and contempt to anyone that dared glance her way. The crown of Spring sat nicely on her head and despite the position of her head, she knew it would never fall, not unless she removed it herself.

The ‘fighters’ -she scoffed in her head- in the ring were just dancing around each other and it bored her to death. Where was the fun in a choreographed fight? Where was the blood? Where was the goddamn danger?

She purposefully used her free hand to rub at one of her long ears and yawned widely. Enjoying the way it made the danc…fighters flinch. It was a little wicked payback for forcing her to sit through this farce.

Not that the men in the ring were to blame, no. Well…not fully. Her own mother was the one that had set these stupid rules. “Whoever wishes to marry my daughter needs to impress her greatly, so much that she asks to bear your children.”

And that was the start of these dull performances. Fae from all realms coming to see her to try and woo her while she only wanted to be left alone.

Her mom was thrilled though. She loved getting gifts and all these dumbasses loved giving gifts. In fact, the man that organized this whole thing for today that was ‘fighting’ in the ring right now. Lemmy or something, he had gifted her mother with a whole crate of goblin grapes. Who knows how he got his hands on that without getting eviscerated by a mob of goblin farmers.

The dance-fighting was so dull that her eyes were closing on their own.

“My lady. Pssst.” A mousey voice startled her awake.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m paying attention.” She grumbled, her eyes still closed.

“No my lady, there is a…situation.” Her lady-in-waiting sounded annoyed more than anything.

Penelope sat up, interested. “Oh?”

“A human man infiltrated the castle and requested an audience with you.”

“An assassin?!” Penelope asked in an excited whisper.

“No. He’s waiting at the gardens.” The response was immediate and deadpanned.

“Aw…”

“But I thought it would make for a good excuse to leave this ‘exhibition’.”

“You’ve earned a bottle of my personal mead.” Penelope beamed at Bernhardette.

“I already took it.” Bernhardette said with a straight face.

“...sometimes I have a hard time telling when you’re joking.”

“Joking?” Her lady-in-waiting tilted her head innocently.

“Shut up.”

Penelope stood up suddenly and regally, startling everyone present. “Everyone, I thank you for this…interesting showing, however, urgent matters that require my attention have come up. I must take my leave.” Before anyone could utter a word, she quickly left the throne room and walked briskly towards her garden.

As soon as the sun kissed her skin she felt ten times better. While she loved wearing the crown of Spring, it did make sitting in the shadow a bit of a pain.

Penelope hummed a song as she skipped towards her garden, enjoying the fair weather. From time to time she glanced down at her feet, loving the way flowers and grass sprung to life beneath each of her steps.

She wondered about this human man that had dared trespass her home. In her experience that was either someone very brave or someone very stupid. Maybe she should make it so thorny vines grew out of him? Turn him into a statue for her garden? Or maybe even turn him into a goat and watch as his own oblivious people roasted and ate him? So many options!

Arriving at her garden she found a table set with tea and biscuits right at the edge of the main garden. She frowned in confusion until she recognized the man calmly sipping at a cup.

“Sheldor?” She asked for good measure.

Sheldor stood up stiffly, he wasn’t wearing his regular armor and looked uncomfortable in the peasant robes he was currently wearing. “Queen Penelope.” He nodded respectfully at her and waited until she was sitting down to sit back down himself.

“What are you doing here? I was told someone had sneaked in…Oh! You’re here to try and assassinate me?!” Penelope started in a confused tone of voice before her voice turned to excitement.

“No.” Sheldor deadpanned.

“Aw…” She pouted. She had half hoped that he would say yes so they could fight it out. Penelope had often wondered how good he truly was. He had a fearsome reputation as the King’s personal knight but her kind and them had lived at peace for the past two generations so she had never been able to witness him fighting.

Penelope allowed the silence to drag out.

She carefully served herself a cup of tea and smiled at the aroma of peach that emanated from the cup. Sipping at her cup she allowed her eyes to roam Sheldor’s form inquisitively. He had forgo his regular heavy armor and claymore for light blue peasant clothes and no weapon.

They were allies, yes. But going unarmed was insanity.

Sheldor seemed happy to let the silence grow, so after a long sip of tea she cleared her throat before speaking. “Allow me to repeat my question. What are you doing here? If your king wanted an audience he would have sent a regular messenger.”

Sheldor grimaced and nodded. “I…I am here not as part of the kingdom, nor representing my king, nor as a knight. I am here as me, Sheldor.”

Penelope brought a hand up to rub at one of her ears. A bad habit of hers when she needed to think. “I’m listening.”

“My Meemaw…she’s ill.” Sheldor admitted and she could see the deep pain those words brought him.

“Ah!” Penelope nodded to herself, starting to understand. “The healer is unable to find a cure?”

Sheldor nodded and for some reason there was a deep shame on his face.

“Are you sure about this? We’re allies, true. But when the kingdom finds out you made a deal with my court…” She trailed off, not sure why she was so concerned about his fate. Taking a deep breath she shook her head, it didn’t matter. “Very we-”

Penelope was interrupted by her mother’s voice. “STOP!” She and Sheldor looked around, not knowing where the voice had come from, at least until her mother’s head popped up from underneath a hedge. “Stop, stop, stop.” Her mother shook a finger at her and walked briskly towards them, she was covered in leaves and she left a trail of leaves in her wake.

“Mom?” Penelope asked, confused.

“Sheldor, would you mind giving us a moment alone please?” Her mother asked politely and Sheldor nodded before moving towards the fountain sitting in the middle of the garden, the sound of water would mask any conversation. He was being too polite.

Her mother waited until Sheldor was sitting at the fountain before turning green furious eyes at her. “You were about to agree to a deal without requesting payment, weren’t you?”

Penelope turned her face away and scratched at her cheek with a finger. That was true. “Mom, Sheldor is already-” She wanted to tell her mom about how Sheldor would be banished from his court, how that seemed like payment enough. But her mom shushed her, her face a mask of anger and disappointment.

“It seems that at times you forget how heavy the Spring crown truly is. You can’t agree to a deal without payment.”

Penelope threw her hands up. “Fine! Fine! I’ll ask for a prize. Happy now?”

“No. You need to ask for something of equal value. You can’t trick me Penelope. I know you would be asking for something like an ornament or jewelry.”

Damn. Her mom knew her too well.

“No. You know the law. A life for a life.” Her mom nodded gravely after saying that.

“Mom…” Penelope had a hard time keeping the disgust off her voice. Her mom had never been purposefully cruel before, Penelope had admired that. As such, the woman in front of her was a stranger, with her cold voice and sour face.

“You know the law.” Her mom pointed a finger at her face before carefully plucking stray leaves off her dress. “You still have so much to learn. I will be the one to tell Sheldor what prize is needed so your weak little heart doesn’t falter.” With her dress now clean, her mom walked with all the regal poise of a cruel queen towards Sheldor.

Penelope grimaced and rubbed at her face. “Sometimes I hate being the queen.” She muttered low enough that no one would have been able to hear her.

With a feeling of dread she watched as her mom approached Sheldor, sat next to him on the fountain and began talking.

Penelope liked Sheldor, yes, their first meeting was far from ideal. She didn’t know he was a knight and he didn’t know she was the queen-to-be. But she found it refreshing, he didn’t care who she was, he still treated the same after finding out her lineage.

During official ceremonies Sheldor was the one to always protect his king and herself. Of course she had her own knights but she knew for a fact that Sheldor would be ready to jump in to destroy anything that tried to attack her. The eight corpses of the goblin assassins sent to kill her that he laid at her feet were more than proof enough of that. That had been a fun dinner party.

Sheldor didn’t treat her like a delicate flower or like a demon in disguise. For him she was just Penelope.

He had always looked so arrogant, so untouchable. So glorious. And to see him now so defeated in front of her, it twinged at her heart. She wanted to help him, if only a little.

Instead she was watching as her mom spoke to him and his face grew panicked and agitated. Sheldor stood up with a shocked face at something her mother said and then pointed towards Penelope.

Penelope lowered her face, too ashamed to face him, but after a moment she looked back up to see Sheldor with his mouth opened wide as he stared at her mother’s smug and pleased face. Sheldor’s face quickly reddened in obvious anger and he stood in place, shaking in frustration.

Penelope took several quick breaths to get into her role of queen. The die were cast and she could do nothing but continue playing her part.

Soon, a subdued Sheldor followed behind her mother as they both approached the table once more. Penelope’s face was now a mask of calmness that betrayed nothing of her real feelings.

“I’ve spoken to Sheldor and he’s ready to hear what you want as a prize. I will act as overseer of this deal to ensure all requirements are fulfilled to the letter of law.” Her mother seemed to savor the words immensely.

“Is that correct Sheldor?” Penelope asked in a calm voice.

Sheldor’s face was still red, especially around his cheeks. He glanced at her mother and her mother nodded encouragingly at him while keeping her smug look. Sheldor faced her and she expected to see loathing or fear on his face but instead he looked confused, lost and hopeful? “I’m ready.”

“To heal your Meemaw We request a prize of equal value. A life for a life. You must give us-” Her mother cleared her throat loudly.

“Sweetie, not We. Say ‘Me, I, etc.’” Her mother said that in a tone of voice that made it clear this was not optional.

Sighing with annoyance Penelope started over. “To heal your Meemaw I request a prize of equal value. A life for a life. You must hand over to me a first-” Her mother once again cleared her throat loudly.

“No, no. Not ‘a’ but ‘your’. Also, not ‘hand over’ but ‘give’.” That damn tone of voice again.

“To heal your Meemaw ‘I’ request a prize of equal value. A life for a life. You must GIVE me a firstborn” What had started as a rather somber speech had turned into Penelope giving now a very obnoxious speech that fit her mother’s standards.

Her mother harrumphed. “It’ll do. Now Sheldor, just repeat what I told you a moment ago.”

Sheldor still looked confused and he opened his mouth several times but no words came out.

“Get on with it boy.” Her mother used that voice again and made him jump. What a picture they must make, a queen and a royal knight getting scolded.

“Right. I…” Sheldor once again glanced at her mother before focusing on Penelope. He took a deep breath and his face reddened again. “I accept your proposal.”

“Proposa-” Penelope started, she wanted to ask why he answered like that but her mother jumped in before she could get her question out.

“The requirements have been fulfilled! We will have a wedding! Bernhardette!” Her mother announced loudly.

Bernhardette’s head popped out from the same hedge her mother had appeared on, leaves littered her blonde head. “Yes?”

“Wine! Honeycakes! No, first, we must announce the wedding! Come, we have work to do! Ring the bell!” And just as suddenly as her mother had appeared, she disappeared, Bernhardette close on her heels.

Penelope stood there, like a fool. She felt as if she was watching the whole thing from out of her own body. It took her an embarrassingly long moment to catch up with what had just happened. “Wedding?” She asked no one in a breathless voice.

Sheldor suddenly knelt in front of her and took her hand in his. “I will do my best to ensure you have a firstborn in your hands within our first year of marriage.” He had a look of determination on his face.

Penelope still stood there, not fully understanding what was happening. She had so many things running through her mind, she wanted to say many things, ask many things.

“Okay.” She managed to squeak out instead. A thrill of excitement that she refused to acknowledge made its home in her stomach.

***

A tiny beautiful green and blue bird landed on the windowsill of her open window and Connie watched it from her bed.

The bird thrilled a song before the thrill became a woman’s victorious laughter. “I told you it would work.” The bird hopped a happy dance.

Connie easily stood up from the bed and grabbed her pipe before lighting it up. “Your daughter is going to get back at you.” Connie said after a moment, but the smile on her face was one of true happiness.

“Bah! Who cares? Not me. Not while we have grandchildren bouncing on our knees.” The bird made a rude gesture with one of its wings, still hopping around.

“I was getting tired of pretending to be sick. Do you understand how much it sucks not being able to smoke?” Connie grumbled.

“A small price to pay. Now, get off your old butt and start working on the wedding preparations.” The bird didn’t wait for an answer before flying off.

“Yeah, yeah.” Connie grumbled again. She wasn’t too happy with the method but if it got her stupid grandson to admit his feelings then she would stomach it.

Speaking of stomach, time to get real food in her and not that gruel that Mary tried to pass off as edible. She also needed to prepare the briskets to put in the smokehouse.

After all, what kind of wedding would it be if there was no brisket?

fin.

[demonhanabi]

The Fae Contract Complication - Trick

Penelope gripped the bag tightly against her chest as she stared up at the braided trees, they formed an arch that signaled the start of another realm, one that could and would devour her. She turned to look behind her, her village looked so small from here.

Turning back, she looked again at the dark archway and then at her left and then at her right. An endless wall of thorny hedges kept animals and humans from going in…or out. The door in front of her was the only means of entering or exiting.

A distant rumbling made her take a step back and stare in fear at the distant forest behind the wall. She could see the tall trees sway and move as something immense moved in the distance.

Whimpering, she took another step back and once again she looked back towards her village. ‘Maybe I should go back.’

Before she could finish the thought she was already shaking her head. The image of her dad, bedridden and feverish would not leave her mind, that horrible rattling cough would haunt her forever. The village’s healer was clueless on what illness had taken a hold of her dad and with a grim face had told them to just make sure he was comfortable as he passed. Her mom hadn’t stopped crying ever since.

“Screw that.” She muttered to herself, hugged the bag tightly against her chest and stomped quickly into the Fae archway.

Nausea overtook her as the ground beneath her feet disappeared. She wanted to cry out but she remembered what she was supposed to do. She thought and focused on the Fae King of contracts. ‘Please, please, please!’

Just as sudden as the ground had disappeared, it returned, slamming her hard against it and robbing her of her breath.

“Why have you called me?” A haughty voice made her look up from where she laid, a crumpled mess. Penelope managed to look up, despite the pain and despite her labored breathing. She had never laid eyes on a Fae before, but the being in front of her couldn’t be mistaken for anything else but one.

The man? Thing? Being in front of her was pale, pale as bleached bones, his features were sharp and angular. He was wearing a soft green shirt that shimmered like leaves in the wind and his loose pants were like long dried tobacco leaves.On his head sat half a crown that seemed to float an inch away from the right side of his head; it looked to be made out of some type of animal horn. He sat on a throne of impossibly green moss, his feet were submerged in a singing stream of pure crystalline water that sparkled in the sunlight. His eyes were an unnatural shade of blue and the look in his eyes was one of pure disdain. As if her mere presence dirtied this place.

“Woman!” He snapped his fingers impatiently and she could see that his hands and forearms were painted in blue. A blue that reminded her of the sky right before a storm.

No. Penelope blinked and looked closer, it wasn’t simple paint, his arms were covered in tiny detailed script, as if someone had meticulously written entire books on his skin. “This is why I hate humans.” The being muttered, not caring if she heard him.

“I-” She gasped out but before she could get out more, the nausea returned with a vengeance and it forced her to hurl onto the grass at her feet.

“No hold it in!” The being groaned as she was unable to do that and covered his nose and mouth as he looked away from her.

Penelope wanted to say sorry but she couldn’t stop spilling her guts. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her body stopped. She spat out the last of the bile in her mouth which caused another groan to escape the being but Penelope couldn't care less. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

The being gagged and raised a hand. “No! No no no no. I knew you humans were barbarians but to this degree? Disgusting.”

Before she could apologize, a bubble of water surrounded her. It spun rapidly and burst into mist. Leaving her confused and wet. She noticed that it had also washed away the vomit at her feet. She gaped at the casual use of so much power.

It reminded her why she was here.

Penelope ran towards the being and she stepped into the stream, kneeling at his feet, not caring about the water, she was already wet anyway. “Please! Save my father!”

The being sighed, annoyed. “Say my name, woman.”

“King Selfhaddon.” She said hesitantly, no one really knew if that was his actual name, but it was the one passed down in stories.

The being cringed, as if hurt. “Ugh, I don’t know why I thought you humans would at least be able to record my name correctly.”

“Then…may I ask, what should I call you?” Penelope offered and hoped it would be enough to please him, even if just a little.

“My name is S̴̈́͌ͅh̴̢͖̗́ĕ̸̛̞̈́l̸͔̺̯͌̾́ď̶̪̯̈́̊͜ơ̶̲͚̻̈́̊n̵͚̰͠”

Penelope blinked, confused. Instead of a name, she heard the buzzing of bees and the babbling of a brook.

“Of course.” The being said, holding his face in one large hand. “In terms you can understand. The King from the Hill on the Ledge.” He made a face. “It sounds so…mundane when I say it like that.”

Penelope frowned in thought, she knew those words in old speech. “Scelf, hǣth, dūn…” She muttered to herself. “Wait. Sheldon? That’s your name?”

The being cringed again. “Until now I thought humans couldn’t make my name sound more mundane. Clearly I was wrong.”

“King Sheldon. Please, help my father!” Penelope bowed at his feet again.

Sheldon sighed tiredly. “No, don’t-...You know what? Explain your plight so we can rid of each other as soon as possible.” He waved one away as if to shoo her away.

“My father is sick. The healer says there’s nothing to be done but pray for him. I…I know you can do something to help him. I brought…gifts…” Penelope trailed off, opening the bag and finding the fresh bread she brought a soggy mess, the bottle of wine and honey were at least okay. “Wine and honey.” She pretended that was all she brought.

“I don’t consume alcohol.” Sheldon looked bored as he stared at her stretched hands.

“Oh…” Hesitantly she set the bottles at the side of his throne anyway. Biting her lip she stood up and looked down at the water running at her feet. The water was clear and gentle, small glowing fish swam happily.

“That.” His voice made her look up. “I want that too.” Sheldon was pointing at her head.

She raised a hand to her hair and felt the only thing decorating it. She carefully removed it and looked at it. “This?” She raised the small ornament towards him.

“Yes!” He leaned eagerly towards her.

Wordlessly she stretched out her hands and he greedily reached out to take it, once it was in his hands he sat back and looked at it closely, his eyes and fingers ran over the ornament, taking every piece of it in. Penelope felt ashamed, it was something she had crafted alongside her mother. It was poorly made, it was meant to represent a blooming flower but the petals were all different sizes, her stitches were rough and uneven, it looked more like a wilting flower but she loved it because it was the first thing she and her mother had made together.

Sheldon raised the ornament towards the sun and smiled at it. “Very well, I shall listen to your request. Something about your father?” He asked distractedly.

“Yes. He’s sick.”

Sheldon nodded and put the ornament behind his back. “One moment.” He closed his eyes and tilted his head. He stayed like that for a moment before opening his eyes again. “Ah, your father enjoys smoking while in the smoke house.”

“My mom hates it when he smokes so that’s the only place where he can do it.” It wasn’t a question but she still felt inclined to answer.

“Your mother was right. He will die in a fortnight.” Sheldon was blunt and her heart jumped to her throat. “Unless I help him of course.”

“Please.” She begged.

Sheldon leaned forward on his throne, his eyes shone like gemstones as he leered at her. His eyes roamed her body in the same way he had done for her ornament a moment ago. A shiver ran through her and she hugged herself and it was only then that she remembered her state, her clothes were wet and clinging to her body in a way that made her feel naked.

“What price are you willing to pay?” His voice rumbled in her chest. An uncomfortable heat grew in her chest and crawled towards her center.

Penelope stared up at him. He wasn’t handsome, no. He was beautiful. He was so much like a human and yet not, there was something ethereal and otherworldly about him, you could never mistake him for anything else than Fae.

“Any price.” She squeezed her legs as she said that, her voice lower than she intended.

Sheldon kept looking at her and smiled wickedly at her reply. “Ah, greedy human. I can see it, you don’t plan on having children, you want love but refuse the same life that your parents have. You were preparing to run away, but then your father fell ill.”

Penelope gulped at having her innermost secrets laid out like that.

“I know what I want.” Sheldon leaned back on his throne, looking relaxed and pleased with himself. “I want your firstborn. You have a year to bear me that fruit.” His hands fell on his open lap and she couldn’t help but stare at the bulge resting there.

“Er…and my father will be healed?” She swallowed twice before being able to speak. This took a turn she wasn’t expecting.

“As if nothing had ever happened. Although I would warn him against smoking again…much less in the smoke house.”

“I accept.” She nodded to herself.

Sheldon snapped his fingers. “Done. When you return home you’ll find that your father has made an impossible recovery.”

Penelope opened her mouth to thank him but she watched in fascination as golden words appeared in the air between them. A contract.

After a moment the words dissolved into a blue liquid that then flowed onto Sheldon’s arm, joining the rest of his contracts and making his body a little more blue than before.

Penelope sighed in relief and smiled up at the haughty Fae. “Thank you.”

Sheldon sniffed and turned his face away from hers. “I hope you don’t find this price too hefty to pay.”

“No. I’m ready. Let’s start now.” Penelope began removing her garments.

“Start? What do you…” At his silence she looked up only to find looking at her in shock.

She looked down at herself and her bare breasts and then back up at him. Shrugging, she started removing her skirt as well.

“What are you doing?!” Sheldon’s voice was high and panicky.

“Uhm…getting ready?” She asked him, confused.

“Ready for what?”

“Well, you wanted a child right?”

“...ah…” Sheldon blushed and brought a hand to cover his mouth while a look of understanding fell on his face. “I believe there’s been a…”

He trailed off at seeing her naked form.

“Do we do it here in the water or in the grass?” She asked him but the only answer she got was a widening of his eyes.

“The water is fine.” He managed to squeak out after a long moment of him watching her.

fin.

[demonhanabi]

Oh! Hey, that's my fic!

I have to say, I'm glad AO3 is robust with Shenny fanfics

[demonhanabi]

It only took 11 years for me to start posting 🥳 (What fan fiction does to a mfer)

[demonhanabi]

The Major Arcana Allegory - Chapter 1

Originally posted to AO3 - September 2024

Sheldon knew from a young age that he was different.

He saw and understood too much. He was only six when he understood his lot in life. He was a bump in the road, something unexpected.

The Coopers were humble farmers and a good Catholic family, his parents already had a first born son, someone to take over the farm. His twin sister was no issue at all, she would be married off when she became of age. But that left the problem of Sheldon.

Unlike the rest of his family, Sheldon was restless in their little farm. The only reprieve was Sunday school where he excelled and he would often sneak out from the little room used to hold the children to read the books that were usually behind locked doors. Math was his favorite subject to read.

Sheldon also excelled at listening to the grown ups talk, for some reason they ignored him if he had a book in his hands.

As such, from a young age he realized that soon a decision would be laid at his feet. Families with two or more boys faced a struggle that would boil down to three choices.

The Military. Sheldon abhorred violence and found it primal and primitive. Not to mention that there were rumors of a great war on the horizon. Not an option, at least not to him.

Criminal life or menial work. Not an option either.

The Clergy. The Coopers were proper Catholics and one of his uncles worked as groundskeeper for the Cathedral of Our Lady of Victory. It wasn’t a difficult choice to make.

Sheldon kept it to himself but he wasn’t fully sure that he believed in god.

But the church offered something he could get nowhere else -at least not for free- an education. He could have access to books, scrolls, teachers and more. He offered himself up once he grew out of Sunday school education and even then, as a young boy he could tell the relief his choice brought to his parents.

His mother was pleased beyond herself, having a priest in the family would make her the talk of the town. And his father was happy to not have to feed him anymore, more coin for his drink.

Sheldon found a certain joy in the routine and strictness of the Diocese of Galveston. As long as he followed the rules, cleaned after himself and studied, he was given all the freedom to study any other subjects he desired.

Chemistry, Math, Physics, Biology and more. The library selection at the Cathedral was impressive and Sheldon absorbed every bit of knowledge he could with a passion.

But this brought an issue.

His already trembling faith crumbled piece by piece with each morsel of knowledge he acquired. Learning about the world made him doubt the existence of a higher power. Yet, he kept all this to himself.

For years he went through the motions, excelling until he received his stole and chasuble.

If it were up to him he would have stayed happy behind the walls of the Cathedral, continuing to gather knowledge but as per tradition, he needed to go out into the world and complete a year of parish service to become a full fledged priest. For now he was a Deacon, until he could prove he was able to handle parish life.

Sheldon was assigned to a small nothing-town called Woodsboro. The only church there was still in construction and even for such a small town it was in the middle of an empty street. Most of the congregation was Mexican and Sheldon was well received by virtue of being able to speak Spanish. Languages were something he easily picked up.

His plans had been simple. Complete his parish time, go back to the Cathedral and request to be assigned to the archives, otherwise known as the library, where he could spend his time reading books without being bothered.

Of course, nothing was ever that easy.

It happened during a scheduled grocery run. He and Father Ortiz were walking towards the grocers. Sheldon liked Father Ortiz, the older man was a no nonsense kind of person and he allowed Sheldon to pick any books he liked from the communal library and also made sure to save some money so Sheldon could purchase secondhand books from the local tianguis.

They were having a discussion in Spanish when Sheldon noticed the strange man in the middle of the street. His hands tightened around the handle of the wheelbarrow he was pushing.

The man was simply standing there, looking up at the sky without moving. No, that wasn’t right, his mouth was moving, he was mumbling something. The man was obviously a drunkard in the middle of some fit, but there was something odd about him, something that made Sheldon pay close attention to him.

The man was drooling like a hungry dog and his long hair and clothes were disheveled and dirty. Years of grime covered him. His matted hair covered the drunkard’s eyes but Sheldon was sure they would be bloodshot and dry. He had seen them often on his own father.

“Ven mijo, no te metas donde no te llaman.” Father Ortiz ordered him and Sheldon was happy to comply.

They gave the man a wide berth and Sheldon turned to tell Father Ortiz something about the grocery list when he felt something grab his arm, he recoiled in disgust at being touched but his arm didn’t budge, it was trapped in an iron vice. The drunkard was somehow there, right next to him and he was painfully holding onto his arm and it took a moment for the smell to hit Sheldon. The scent of rotten eggs and warm raw meat assaulted his nostrils.

Gagging, Sheldon covered his nose and mouth with his other hand. “Unhand me!” He ordered the man but only received a blank look in return. The beady empty eyes looked at him and yet not.

“She…watches…she…sleeps…” The drunkard spoke slowly, his voice was gravel and his breath was death itself.

Sheldon’s eyes watered and he kept trying to step back but the man wouldn’t allow it.

“Hello, friend. Please let go of my colleague.” Father Ortiz intervened and tried to pry the man’s hand off Sheldon to no avail.

It was rumored that Father Ortiz had been a boxer before dedicating his life to the church, and while that was only a rumor, Father Ortiz certainly had the physique to have been a heavy weight champion. But even him, with all his upper body strength, could do nothing against the grip of the drunkard. If it wasn’t for the heavy overcoat Sheldon was wearing, he was sure that his skin would have broken under the filthy fingernails.

Sheldon finally unfroze and decided that enough was enough, despite his aversion to touching the dirty man, Sheldon did just that. Putting his free hand on the wrist of the drunkard, but the moment he did that, all hell broke loose.

The drunkard screamed and Father Ortiz jumped back. Sheldon would have followed suit but his hand, against his own will had closed tightly around the drunkard’s wrist.

A primeval feeling filled Sheldon, it made him mad beyond belief, it told him that this man was his enemy and he needed to end him. It rattled against his soul like a monkey rattling the bars of its cage.

Sheldon gritted his teeth and squeezed the wrist under his fingers, tighter and tighter. The drunkard’s scream was painful to listen to but Sheldon knew he couldn’t stop. He could feel it within him, if he stopped it would all be over.

After a moment the scream cut off into nothing, as if someone had turned the volume off on the man. The drunkard stopped moving and Sheldon knew that something was very wrong.

The man moved differently, breathed differently, as if something else entirely was now occupying his body. Somewhere deep down, Sheldon knew he was facing something out of this world.

“The Mother has seen you.” The drunkard’s teeth clashed loudly and painfully as the Thing occupying his body spoke, with no regard for the doomed man. Blood dripped from the Thing’s mouth. The Things’ voice was deep and guttural, it rattled Sheldon’s chest and it hurt his ears. “Thief!!!” The inhuman voice screamed as it accused him.

Sheldon was nauseous, the thing’s voice assaulted his brain, but even with that, he didn’t let go of the man’s wrist. It must have been his imagination but Sheldon could swear that he could feel the skin boil and move under his fingers.

With a final scream, full of pain and frustration the thing pretending to be a man collapsed, almost toppling Sheldon as well, but even then, he knew he couldn’t let go.

“Bendita Tú eres entre todas las mujeres y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre Jesús.” Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sheldon heard Father Ortiz pray. “Santa María, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros los pecadores-”

Sheldon felt ready to pass out, as if he had just run the length of the farm twice. But something kept him on his feet.

The drunkard finally let go and Sheldon knew he had won. What he had won? He didn’t know.

Sheldon took a deep breath, finally feeling safe. He panted like a dog and he backed away and into Father Ortiz’ waiting arms. “I got you, I got you.” Sheldon nodded at the older man’s words, holding onto him for protection from…whatever that had been.

Father Ortiz was rubbing Sheldon’s back when the drunkard stirred. A whimper escaped Sheldon and he burrowed deeper into the embrace of Father Ortiz, trying to make himself smaller.

“What happened? Where am I?” The man didn’t look drunk anymore. Frightened beyond belief, yes. But sane. “I need to contact my wife.” The man’s mouth bled freely and his voice was pained and raw but normal, human.

“This isn’t possible. This isn’t possible. This isn’t possible.” Sheldon kept repeating to himself. Knowing that the man in front of him wasn’t the same man that had touched him before.

Father Ortiz’ embrace was the only thing keeping Sheldon from breaking down fully.

Sheldon didn’t know how he got back to the Cathedral, he was lost in the horror of the experience. For the first time in a long time he prayed for an answer.

No one and nothing answered his prayers.

Sheldon refused to leave his quarters for the next month and he appreciated how understanding Father Ortiz was, but even then he found no peace.

Fever dreams assaulted him during the night and anxiety filled him during the day. He couldn’t stand the dark and he made sure his room was brightly lit at all times of day. He stopped eating and his already thin frame became even sharper.

“Sheldon.” Father Ortiz’ kind voice startled him from his uneasy reading. “These men are here to see you.” Two men in priest clothes stood behind Father Ortiz.

Sheldon was about to ask the men to leave him alone but looking at the eyes of both men Sheldon understood something.

They had seen. They understood.

Gulping, he nodded and welcomed them into his room.

“Deacon Cooper. I am Father Kant and this is Father Feery.” The older of the two introduced them. The man had a haunted look on his face but his scarred face was hard and honest. He spoke with a slight accent that Sheldon couldn’t place. “We understand that you witnessed a Possessed.”

Sheldon inhaled sharply. He had avoided thinking about the encounter but in the presence of these men he couldn’t pretend. He nodded shakily.

“The first time is never easy.” Father Kant commiserated but Sheldon was horrified.

“The first time?!” He said loudly while clutching his chest.

Both men nodded reluctantly and even without saying anything, Sheldon knew they were fully aware and conscious of what he had seen.

“We’re part of a very special group within the Vatican. There are very few people like you or me in the world. People that can harm Those Who Hide.” Father Kant looked him in the eye. “We’re here to make an invitation. What we’ll ask of you can’t be forced, you’ll face things that no one should face.”

Sheldon hugged himself tightly.

“But what I can promise you is that you’ll stop being afraid. You’ll learn about what lurks in the dark.”

Sheldon shook his head.

Father Kant didn’t stop talking. “And above all, you’ll learn to hurt them.”

Sheldon stopped shaking. He locked eyes with Father Kant.

“We’ll teach you how to make THEM fear YOU.” The grin on Father Kant’s face was savage and bloodthirsty.

Sheldon gulped and looked down at his shaking hands, he looked back up at Father Kant and nodded.

“Grab a bag. We leave tonight.”

Go read the rest at AO3:

[demonhanabi]

The Little Sister Complication - One Shot

Originally posted to AO3 - August 2024

It had been a full six years since Penny decided to move out of Nebraska and right into Pasadena.

True, it wasn’t all what she imagined or expected it to be, but the same could be said about her life at the ripe age of twenty four. However, she had to admit that she’s been one lucky gal.

She managed to get out of her toxic relationship with Kurt, she moved across from two geniuses and she even managed to expand her worldview thanks to the latter. While she wasn’t a successful actress yet, she had a recurring decent sized role in a play. She was enjoying life, dating people and Leonard was constantly chasing after her which did wonders for her self-esteem.

And…okay, that last part, that was a little shitty of her for not telling him no clearly, but it felt nice to be wanted by a nice guy and you could try but you would never get her to admit outloud how badly it fed her ego. Not even under torture.

However, as time kept moving forward she found herself considering saying yes to his date invitation because as much as she tried, the tall blue eyed scientist from across the hall just didn't seem to be interested in her.

Penny had flirted a couple of times with Sheldon but the man seemed oblivious and Penny had her pride, she wasn’t going to beg and chase after a man. Not after Kurt. Was she wrong for wanting to feel wanted?

Sheldon had those big pianist hands, baby blues, he was tall and that damn confidence was sexy as hell. He could also be a little shy. Whenever he gave her that soft shy smile it turned her into mush. And he was always trying to find ways to get under her skin.

But she could also get under his skin, she knew how to read his eyes and face to know exactly what he was thinking about…well, most of the time. Sheldon needed to learn to express his emotions in a better way. He was more than a little condescending and needed to have his way every time. He wasn’t exactly what you would call a ‘flexible person’.

But damn it, she loved that part of him as well and he was her friend!

She knew that he would never go for someone like her, and it wasn’t the not-having-a-degree thing. Unlike the rest Sheldon actually didn’t care that much. She had already impressed him with her wit and her unwillingness to back down from a fight.

Penny was also perfectly aware that the packing order in the group had changed from ‘Listen to Sheldon’ to ‘Listen to Sheldon and Penny’. She chose as many activities as he did now, and yeah he would grumble about it but in the end he would agree and go along with her plans.

And it was because of this man that she was sitting on her couch trying to find a way to break the news that her little sister was moving in with her without having him freak out or offend her little sister.

Who was she kidding? Sheldon was probably going to do both things.

Penny wasn’t the baby of the Teller family. No. That honor went to Mindy who had come into the world four years after Penny.

Mindy was moving to Pasadena to attend UCLA and get an English Major. But since she already had a big sister living in Pasadena and in order to save money she had asked to move in with Penny. Penny loved her little sister so it really wasn’t a hard choice to make.

Mindy was as cute as a button, they shared the same dark blond hair and green eyes, but Mindy inherited more from their mother than Penny did. By the time Mindy was seventeen she was already taller than Penny by some inches, and worst of all, Mindy got their mom’s boobs, which, fine, Penny was proud of her modest rack but when your little sister who is four years younger than you, needs bigger bras…well, you can’t help but feel a little envious.

To top it all off, Mindy was also very smart. The bitch.

Penny truly loved Mindy to pieces but while Penny struggled all through high school and eventually even dropped out of college, Mindy on the other hand breezed through school easily, was able to keep up good grades and an active social life. She never let that go to her head either. Because of that Penny could never hate her, her little sister was a cinnamon roll that needed to be protected at all costs.

And Penny meant that.

When Mindy was a senior in high school she got together with one of the neighborhood boys. Little Thomas. He had always been so nice, he wasn’t a football player or anywhere close to being a jock, he was a Mathlete for frak’s sake, and everyone in her family was happy that they got together, Penny included.

So it came as a shock that Mindy broke up with him after a couple of months. Penny heard it all from her mother over their weekly call but unlike her mother, she didn’t want to jump to conclusions just yet. Mindy must have had a good reason to do what she did.

And then Mindy had called her that night. Sobbing. Turns out that Little Thomas wasn’t so nice after all, he was trying to control how Mindy dressed, who she could talk to, was pressuring her to have sex and overall being an asshole that thought Mindy was something he owned.

Penny being far away did the only thing she could. She called Kurt’s big brother, Lance. She explained the situation and asked him to pay Little Thomas a visit on her behalf so the creep understood he needed to stay far away from Mindy. Lance didn’t like Kurt, but he liked Penny.

Little Thomas never bothered Mindy again.

No one fucked with her little sister.

But now she sat on her couch, both happy that she would get to live with her baby sister again but also being aware that she had an eccentric Texan man that could drive everyone crazy but that had carved his own spot into her life.

She was worried about the meeting between these two. Sheldon was…well, he was Sheldon. Mindy was pure midwestern attitude, meaning that she was just like Penny, touchy-feely and kind to a fault.

Maybe it would be okay.

Mindy had her own shitty car and had somehow already secured a position at The Cheesecake Factory. Flexible shifts ruled for wannabe actresses and students.

‘It’ll be fine, maybe Mindy and Sheldon will become best friends.’ As soon as the thought crossed her mind she discarded it with a head shake.

She didn’t have to worry about Mindy but Sheldon was going to whine and complain until he got used to the changes.

“Wackadoodle.” She whispered and refused to acknowledge the fond tone of her voice.

***

Said Wackadoodle shocks her by just nodding his head and saying, “I understand.” like a normal person.

Okay, this was good. She had expected a fight of some sorts but maybe she needed to start giving him more credit.

"Penny, did you wash your hands before touching my plate?."

And back to square one.

***

Watching Mindy pull up into Los Robles gave Penny some strong deja vu vibes. It was like watching a younger, happier, taller, curvier version of herself… Penny refused to continue with that thought.

For a moment Penny had worries that their meeting would be awkward but she shouldn’t have worried. Their relationship had always been good. Unlike her relationship with Maggie, their older sister.

More deja vu as she helped Mindy carry her stuff upstairs. Penny was actually looking forward to living with her baby sister again.

"I can’t wait to meet Sheldon in person." Mindy said excitedly as they walked up the stairs and Penny didn’t have the heart to break it to her. Mindy only got to hear the funny parts of their adventures.

"You will, and I’ll ask if you’re still eager after talking to him once." Penny rolled her eyes but the smile on her face was pure fondness.

They quickly moved most of Mindy’s stuff from her car and into Penny’s apartment but it’s on the last trip that another wave of deja vu hits her. She could hear the guys coming up the stairs and sure enough, they arrived on the fourth landing just as they’re moving the last of the boxes.

Sheldon is complaining about his Arctic expedition having been canceled and Leonard was just pretending to listen as he nodded along.

Sheldon is the first one to notice them. Of course he was. So she went on the offensive.

"Hey guys, remember how I told you that my baby sister was coming to live with me, this is her. Sheldon, Leonard, this is Mindy. Mindy, these are the guys." She made the introductions.

She was about to tease Leonard about another girl being taller than him when she caught the look of pure unadulterated lust that he was shooting her sister. Mindy didn’t share Penny’s fashion choices, preferring jeans, a cute top and a cardigan to finish the look. Which made the look he gave her even weirder, Mindy wasn’t showing a lot of skin. As sudden as the look came, it went away and Leonard is doing his little shuffling feet dance and puppy eyes combo at Mindy as he welcomes her into the building.

But Penny caught the look and her stomach churns.

Penny was disgusted at Leonard, because yes, Mindy was a beautiful young woman, but she was also Penny’s baby sister. Oh, and not to mention, Leonard had been actively trying to date Penny for years. This just made Penny remember all the times that Leonard had dropped her like a sack of potatoes. Alicia, Priya, Missy, Stephanie.

Not wanting to deal with that thought at the moment, she turned to look at Mindy and Penny saw the guarded look on her sister’s face. She had noticed the look too. Ever since Little Thomas her sister had been extra careful around men and Penny could see it clearly. Leonard had been moved into the ‘Do not trust’ category in her sister’s mind. Almost by reflex Penny tried to defend Leonard in her mind but she came up empty, because Penny might be willing to risk herself but she would never risk her little sister.

‘Goddammit Leonard’ Penny thought, because she knew. Things had changed forever.

She needed to have a serious talk with Leonard. Set boundaries, she basically needed to have the same talk she gave to the meatheads that approached her at the gym or when a handsy bastard at the club thought she was too drunk to notice, or when a customer at The Factory waited for her outside after her shift.

She didn’t want to do it, but Leonard took the choice away from her hands. Because Penny wants to believe that as much of a horndog as he is, she hopes that he can do better, be better.

And yeah, she was not doing this dance with him, not anymore.

Sheldon moved to introduce himself and Penny shoves all those thoughts aside, because as much as she loved the Wackadoodle, she wasn’t blind to the fact that he could be way too intense and too much when meeting him for the first time.

Or second, or third.

"Hello Mindy, I hope your trip here was safe and uneventful." Sheldon wasn’t smiling but instead he gave her sister that little half smirk he did sometimes. He nodded once at Mindy.

"Hi Sheldon, it was, thank you!" Mindy smiled beautifully up at Sheldon.

Something cold, heavy and ugly settled in Penny’s stomach at hearing Mindy be so familiar with Sheldon. There had to be a mistake here, they were meeting for the first time.

Right?

“Huh” She didn’t intend to say it outloud but everyone heard her.

Sheldon was utterly confused but Mindy wasn’t.

Mindy shot her a small smile and it was just for a moment but Penny could swear there was some wickedness in that smile. The weight in Penny’s stomach turned heavier, colder and uglier and she didn’t know why.

"Sheldon here, and I have been email buddies since your prank war. Who do you think gave him the idea of dressing your favorite Care Bear in your underwear and hang it from the telephone line?." This time Mindy’s smile was full of teasing and sisterly love, her eyes shone with mirth at knowing she managed to get one over Penny, even if indirectly.

Penny felt her stomach unclench and clear of that weird feeling. That was the last time she was having two day old enchiladas for dinner, it was doing weird things to her stomach.

Sheldon nodded. "A fantastic idea I must admit, although it did lead to Penny calling my mother on me." Sheldon glared at her but without any real heat behind it.

"Don’t worry Sheldon, now I’m here and next time we’ll face her together." Mindy’s hand quickly tapped Sheldon on the shoulder and while Sheldon flinched a little but he didn’t move away or reprimand Mindy, or gave her a strike. He just nodded at her words.

Penny felt that weight settle back in her stomach with a vengeance and if it was cold before, it was freezing now. Whatever was happening, she didn’t like it.

"Yeah, yeah, you wish. Let’s finish unpacking Mindy. We’ll meet you guys for dinner later alright?" Not waiting for a reply, she pulled Mindy by the hand into 4B.

Something weird was happening here and Penny was going to get to the bottom of it, even if it was the last thing she did.

Thankfully unpacking goes faster between the two of them, that and also the fact that Mindy didn’t really own that much stuff yet.

Soon enough dinner time rolled around and overall it went pretty well. Now the couch consists of Mindy, Penny and Sheldon, in that order. Howard and Raj didn’t mind sitting on the floor next to Leonard’s chair and Penny had been pretty happy about that, at least until she realized they did it so they could ogle her legs.

Thankfully nothing weird happened, at least until she stood up to go pick up her mail because she had forgotten to do it earlier. Leonard offered to go with her and check his own mailbox despite the fact that he had already picked it up earlier and his mail was sitting right there on the coffee table.

She was about to call him out on it but decided not to. It would be the perfect moment to have that conversation with him.

Penny didn’t miss the look of concern on Mindy’s face as Leonard followed her.

All the way downstairs as Penny struggled on how to start the conversation, Leonard just kept talking about his work, how he was receiving some new funding and how his latest laser experiment was actually pretty cool and Penny should be excited about it. She just nodded but didn’t smile or answer.

By the time they reached the mailboxes she could see Leonard start getting desperate, trying to twist himself so she paid attention to him.

"Leonard, Sweetie. Stop." Penny held a hand up. "We need to talk."

"Oh! Sure, I love talking, you know me." He smiled, happy that she was talking to him. He shuffled on his feet.

"Actually, I don’t think I do." That finally made him stop shuffling.

"Huh?" He was confused.

"Look Leonard…I don’t even know how to start so I’m going to take a page out of Sheldon’s book and just be brutally honest." She could see in his face that he truly had no idea what this was about. "I have a speech prepared for when someone approaches me just because I’m a hot blond. They mistake my kindness for an invitation to be sexually crude or downright rape-y with the way they address me or even try to touch me. You have never heard it, because even as creepy as Howard is, he’s always known where to draw the line." She took a deep breath because this part was going to be hard. "However, I think that you need to hear it now."

Leonard stared at her, confused. But he was smart, it took him a second to get it. But when he does, she was happy to see him recoil in disgust. He took two steps back because yeah, he was standing too close to her.

Maybe there was hope.

"I am more than my ass or tits. I have feelings. I am not arm candy that you can parade around or someone that you can sleep with for bragging rights. My name is Penny, I have dreams, aspirations, and I am a human being."

The guilt on his face didn’t feel great. She had refused to see it but she had always been aware that Leonard saw her as some sort of trophy. He was always so willing to twist himself into knots of whatever he thought was the right answer, always so willing to leave everything that made him, he, behind. Comics? He pretended to hate them until she showed interest in them. Star Trek? Claimed to have never watched it. Paintball? He always looked so embarrassed to admit he liked it. Star Wars, cello, board games, that weird Klingon word game, WoW, Etc. There was no part of his life that Leonard wasn’t willing to betray, sacrifice or abandon if he thought it would give him a chance with Penny.

She was meant to be the prize for finally getting the right answer.

Fuck that.

"Look Leonard, I don’t know if you noticed but my sister is not exactly a fan of yours right now. Do you want to know why? Because the first time you saw her, she was not a human being to you, she was just ass and tits. She noticed the way that you looked at her and it made her feel shitty. Why do you think she looked worried when you followed me out here?."

Frustrated and angry, she ran a hand through her hair. As if untangling her hair could make all of this disappear.

"And it also didn’t make me feel great, Leonard. You’ve been asking me on dates since forever, but the moment a good looking woman passes in front of you, you forget that I exist until you get rejected or bored and then you come back sniffing my way."

Leonard’s face was a mask of guilt, too many truths stripped away at his nice guy persona.

"Did you ever like me? Not as someone you could fuck, but as a person?" She needed to know.

"I did!, you’re beautiful and-" She interrupted him because there was that word again. Beautiful.

"NO! Leonard, please! Tell me that you liked me for more than my body." Penny pleaded "Tell me something that you like about me that’s not due to me being hot."

As she waited for his answer she had to wonder why these types of emotional confrontations always happened in public places, places where anyone could intrude at any moment, and yet, they had the lobby all for themselves.

"I like that you’re kind." Leonard said after an eternity. But his posture was defeated, he realized that he took too long to answer. She knows he told the truth but either he had to think about it or for the first time since they met he realized that Penny existed as more than just his fantasy of the hot blond neighbor.

"God. Leonard…" She wanted to cry for him. He was probably broken in some way that she didn’t want to know about. She’s at a loss of words because she never actually expected it to be this bad.

"Do you think we can still be friends?" Leonard’s voice cracked and she guessed he was about to cry. Hopefully because he realized how messed up he really is and not because he lost his shot with her.

"I don’t know Leonard. Can you be friends with me knowing that I’ll never sleep with you or date you?." And that was the truth, because Penny couldn’t afford to take risks now that her little sister is living with her. In a different life she might have given this relationship thing with Leonard a shot, to try and fix him because he wasn’t a bad guy and he wasn’t like her usual dates…but this wasn’t that life.

Leonard grimaced but he seemed to catch himself. "I…I didn’t have the best childhood, my mom is-no." Frustrated, he ran a hand over his face, removing his glasses. "I always wanted to be one of the cool guys, I thought that maybe you coul-no." He shifted in place and looked intently at his feet. "I never really knew what-no." He huffed and hesitated. "I fucked up." Leonard finally looked up at her, "I fucked up, that’s the truth. I am afraid of therapy. I kept telling myself that I didn’t need it. That I was fine. I was expecting a girlfriend to fix things for me. I loved Leslie but I broke up with her because I was afraid of committing to her…because I thought that would mean I was abandoning my chances of being with you." He cringed into himself at that admission.

Penny bit her lip and wiped a couple of angry tears from her eyes. Leonard needed major help, as in monumental sized help. She has never been so glad to not accept a date before.

"Penny, these two years since you’ve been living across from us it’s been great. We’ve -Howard, Raj, Sheldon and me- had more fun since you’ve been here. I know that I fucked up and couldn’t appreciate your friendship. But, yeah. I think I’d like to be your friend eventually, for real."

Leonard wasn’t fully crying but she could see a couple of tears and knew this admission took a lot out of him.

Penny nodded. "I’d like that as well Sweetie." And she was being truthful. She’d like to know the true Leonard eventually.

“Could you tell Sheldon I had to run an errand?” Leonard didn’t wait for her to reply and left through the front door, car keys in hand.

Penny was exhausted. This had been a long overdue conversation, over two years overdue if she was being honest with herself.

But as she walked up the stairs, she felt lighter.

***

Leonard parked his car and put his forehead against the steering wheel.

He was ashamed, no other way around it. He could feel shame in every part of his being, it was permeating him so much that he feared it would become part of his DNA.

Maybe it already was.

The entire drive here he kept replaying Penny’s words over and over in his mind. His first reaction had been to refute Penny, to lie, to manipulate and to make himself into the victim. He was the nice guy after all.

But he couldn’t.

Just the thought alone that Penny’s sister thought he was someone to not be trusted because of how he ogled at her on their first meeting was a horrifying thought. He had always made fun of Howard for his lack of tact, but now he had to wonder if he was the same…or worse.

The fact that his first instinct at being confronted had been to lie and try and play the victim card made him worse, much worse. Even before he could fully process it, the same old excuses were already trying to leave his mouth, no conscious effort on his side.

Blame your mother, explain how unloved you were, play the kicked puppy. Offer stories of being bullied, of never getting hugged, of not having a birthday cake…But he was almost thirty now, did he really want to keep going through life like this?

Thanks to Penny he now saw two roads in front of him.

The first, he kept going as he was, hoping to manipulate a girl into loving him enough to feel less broken. To find someone that would make him the center of their world so he never felt insecure or jealous.

The second, take responsibility for his life. Grow up and become the type of person he had thought he was.

Leonard really, really, really wanted a hot girl to make everything better, that just the fact that he was dating someone hot would make everything right for him, make him one of the cool guys, part of the group with the in-jokes and successful lives.

He had hoped that Penny would be that girl. But the truth was that he didn’t understand her, she was a beautiful hot blond and yet she watched football and drank beer like a middle aged man. She wasn’t supposed to like the same geeky stuff that they liked. That was why during her Age of Conan phase, when she dressed like a slob, Leonard didn’t pay any attention to her.

He didn’t want THAT girl. He wanted the hot blond.

Leonard wanted someone he could pull down from the shelf to soothe his ego and then he wanted to put that person back on the shelf until he needed them again. He didn’t care if that person was Penny or not, he could admit that now.

He had fooled himself into thinking he loved Penny, but he didn’t really even know her that well. In the two years she had been living across the hall from him, Leonard hadn’t even bothered to know anything about her. He didn’t even know what her favorite color was.

Because the truth is, he didn’t even care to know.

Accepting that he doesn’t care came at a high cost, because it goes against everything he likes to think about himself. The nice guy. The guy that can’t catch a break. The underdog.

A knock at his car window startled him out of his thoughts. He glanced at the person knocking and he took a deep breath before lowering the window.

"What are you doing here Hofstadter?" Leslie didn’t look happy to see him there.

"Hey Leslie. I wanted to talk to you." Leonard wanted to start making things right. He knew that meant therapy.

But he owed Leslie an apology first.

***

For the next few days things were a little weird between all of them, apparently Leonard came clean to the guys as well before taking time off to go back to New Jersey. He was still reluctant about therapy but knew it was the right thing to do. His mom knew someone that could help him.

Penny hoped that he would be able to find the help he needed, because she’s certain that he could do better. Be better.

Without Leonard there the group still finds a way to keep things running, to keep the routine up. Mindy’s presence helps with that.

Also, Penny didn’t say it outloud to anyone but she could see how worried Sheldon was about Leonard. He just didn’t know how to express it. The Wackadoodle had a bigger heart than he’d like to admit. He had even stopped complaining about the canceled Arctic thingy.

The boys still kept in touch with Leonard and Howard told them during Pizza night that Leonard and Leslie are going to give their relationship another try after he comes back from New Jersey and Penny was happy for him. She wasn’t sure how healthy it would be to jump into a relationship so soon after everything Leonard has gone through, but who was she to judge? Besides, he did admit to loving Leslie and that had to count for something.

But while the Leonard situation was unfolding, Penny had her own bowl of weirdness to deal with.

Living with Mindy was great, more than great actually. Nothing like when they were younger. Honestly, Penny was the messy one out of the two, but not wanting to look bad in front of her baby sister made Penny want to pick up after herself more often. But, no, that wasn’t the weird part.

The weird part was how well Mindy fit into the group.

Howard being Howard tried to flirt with Mindy but he got hit with the “"I didn’t know you liked young girls. Do we need to notify the high schools around here?" And ever since he had been nothing but a perfect gentleman towards Mindy. He still ogled Penny but as soon as Mindy was around he only had eyes for his shoes.

Raj and Mindy bonded over Twilight and The notebook which wasn’t a surprise at all. Penny came home from a lunch shift to find the pair sitting on her couch, bawling like babies, each had a blanket over their laps. ‘I’ll be seeing you’ started playing and Penny took a seat between them and started bawling as well.

Howard tried teasing Raj about his love for Twilight and Mindy jumped in, "Switch the genders and you have one of those weird Anime that you love." Penny didn’t understand what that meant but it shut Howard up and apparently got him to read the books. He was Team Jacob, he got the shirt and everything.

Even with all that, it was Sheldon the one that surprised her the most. Her Moonpie had not complained even once about Mindy’s presence. It was…odd, to say the least.

Penny was still on the fence if that was a good or a bad thing. On the one hand it gave Penny more free time as Mindy gave Sheldon rides and now Mindy also could work the shift when Sheldon went to The Factory, Mindy could also play a mean game of Halo. All of that was great, it gave Penny the chance to go out dancing again, try dating and all that jazz.

And yet, there was still something weird going on. I gave her heartburn to think about because she’s a hundred percent sure that she was missing something important

Three weeks went by like this and then Leonard returned. He looked rough but happy, the smile on his face is a good one. He rejoins the group and the night he comes back he asks Penny and Mindy for a moment.

He gave them a long overdue apology about the way he treated Penny and how he ogled Mindy. He told them about his plans to stick with therapy for the foreseeable future and how he hoped they could become friends.

It wasn’t a perfect apology, but it was enough to get them all on the starting line.

Later, when they were alone, Mindy admitted that she felt Leonard was genuine and Penny had to agree.

Things were looking up.

Of course, because life had a sense of humor, that was when things took an even weirder turn.

Penny was tired and cranky, she had to pull a double shift and she had been expecting Sheldon and the rest for their weekly dinner but they never showed up, leaving her feeling rather put off. A quick message to Raj left her with more questions than answers.

‘Ramona didn’t let Sheldon go.’

Who the frak was Ramona and why the hell was she deciding where Sheldon could and couldn’t go to. She was certain this was another mess she would eventually have to deal with.

But for now she just wanted to go home, take a long bath and maybe enjoy some alone time with her shower head.

All of her plans went out the window because as soon as she was on the third landing of the building she could hear the yelling. It was angry, fast and more importantly she would recognize one of the voices anywhere. Mindy.

Not hesitating for a moment Penny ran up the rest of the way up, the door to 4A was wide open and Penny didn’t hesitate, she went in, only to stop at the scene in front of her.

Sheldon was in his spot and he looked frightened beyond belief. His face would be funny looking any other time but in this situation he looked scared beyond belief. She didn’t think he was even moving.

Mindy was in front of Sheldon, as if shielding him from the fuming redhead that looked ready to slug Mindy.

"You are a distraction to Dr. Cooper!" The redhead tried to move past Mindy but her sister pushed her back easily.

"Shut the fuck up. Sheldon and I are going out to have dinner and that’s that." Mindy wasn’t a fighter, Penny didn’t miss the way her whole body was shaking.

"No! He needs to work!" The redhead took a threatening step forward and Penny prepared herself to serve a can of whoop-ass, because no redhead stringbean was going to threaten her sister.

To her credit, Mindy didn’t back down. "I told you to shut up. We’re going to have dinner an-"

"Oh, I see now, I see how it is!!" The redhead girl had a good set of pipes and she was preparing to increase her volume.

But Mindy looked done with redhead’s BS, she was never one to slug it out behind the baseball field but Penny knew that her baby sister could throw a mean punch. Penny had taught her after all.

"You like Dr. Cooper and want to sleep with him!. You hussy! Well, he would never lower himself to be with someone like you!!." Penny could swear that spittle flew out of the redhead’s mouth.

Mindy recoiled as if slapped and Penny had heard enough. ‘That’s it, time to go Junior Rodeo on Pippi Longstocking here’

"Well, we already fucked, so you’re wrong!" Mindy said smugly.

‘Huh? What?’ Penny felt funny. Mindy had just said something that made no sense. Mindy and Sheldon? No, impossible. Sheldon didn’t have a deal, he didn’t have any interest in the opposite sex, or even in the same sex. Poor Sheldon, his face had to be a mess of twitches and tics.

Penny turned to look at Sheldon’s face. No twitches, no tics.

‘Huh…’ She was starting to feel light headed.

Penny could hear that the redhead was shouting something but she couldn’t make out what it was. Blood was rushing through her ears and she was having a hard time trying to remember how to breathe. Her eyes felt as if they were going to pop out of her face but try as she might, she couldn’t close them.

She watched as her baby sister pushed and shoved the redhead out of the apartment. Redhead was crying and all of the fight seemed to have left her.

Sudden pain in her hands forced Penny to take the breath that had escaped her. She had been clenching her hands so hard that her nails left marks in her skin.

‘Okay Penny, breathe, there must be a mistake here.’ She repeated to herself.

It wasn’t until she had taken a couple of deep breaths that she’s able to hear again. Mindy was reassuring Sheldon, she was sitting on the coffee table and her hands were hovering over his knees. He didn’t flinch away.

‘Oh’

"I’ll go get you something for dinner Sheldon. Your usual BBQ burger is fine?" Mindy sounded so concerned for Sheldon and Penny had the sudden urge to slap her in the back of the head like when they were younger and sitting on the couch, watching TV without paying attention to their surroundings.

Sheldon finally reacted at the offer of dinner. "Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger with the barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese served on the side. Please."

"I know Sheldon. Be right back, and don’t worry about Ramona. She’s not coming back." Her sister reassured him.

"Oh…good. I fear she was becoming far too intense for my taste." Sheldon grimaced,

‘So you have a taste now Moonpie? Did you also taste my sister you motherf-’

"Yeah, bitch was crazy. I’ll be right back." Mindy finally noticed her. "Oh, you’re here Pen."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m here. What did I miss?" Penny wanted to cringe, her voice was high and frantic.

"O-kay" Mindy dragged the word out, unsure on why Penny was acting this way. "I’ll fill you in later, for now I gotta get Sheldon something to eat, he hasn’t eat since morning, all thanks to this stalker, tha-you know what? It can wait. Be right back." And just like that Mindy left.

Leaving Penny alone with Sheldon. Penny ran back to her apartment without saying a word to Sheldon.

Penny was still feeling weird, light headed and her stomach clenched tightly. She could also feel tears threatening to spill and she wasn’t fully sure why.

That night she went to bed without returning to 4A or talking to Mindy.

***

Penny avoided both Mindy and Sheldon for the next couple of days. She wasn’t fully sure why.

She had forgotten how stubborn Mindy could be. She couldn’t avoid Mindy any longer, they both had the night off but it wasn’t an accident, Mindy had changed one of her shifts and Penny had failed to notice.

"Okay Pen, what’s got your panties in a bunch?" Mindy stood over Penny, her arms crossed and her face eerily similar to how their mother looked when angry.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about." Penny was pretending to be painting her toes.

"Yeah right. You’ve been avoiding me, so, c’mon, spill, we literally have all night." Penny hated how Mindy had perfected their mom’s tone of ‘I’m not joking young lady.’

"Look Min-" She didn’t get to finish her lie.

"If you say it's nothing then I’ll go and sleep with the first guy that walks by the lobby.” Penny could see that Mindy was trying to joke, trying to keep things light. This was obviously a joke, the teasing tone in Mindy’s voice was enough of a tell.

But for Penny it only brought back memories of Mindy confessing to have slept with Sheldon.

And Penny tried, she really did try to not bring it up, to not say it. But she couldn’t help herself. "Like you slept with Sheldon?" Penny refused to look up from her toes. She’s embarrassed, her voice was soft and hurt. Penny hated it.

A moment of shocked silence before Mindy spoke. "Pen…What the fuck are you talking about." She sounded exasperated, as if Penny had just said the stupidest thing in the world.

That made Penny mad.

"What am I talking about? What am I talking about?!" She finally looked up from her toes to glare at her baby sister, "I heard you!"

"When?!" Mindy also raised her voice.

"The night that redhead girl was in 4A trying to make Sheldon work!"

"Oh!" Mindy didn’t even look embarrassed, she just looked confused.

"Oh? Just oh?" Penny crossed her arms and kept glaring at her sister.

"Pen, I love you but you’re a dumbass." Mindy on the other hand just looked tired.

Penny could only stare in disbelief at her baby sister

"I was lying, you idiot!" Mindy threw her hands up in the air.

Penny took a step back in shock. "Wha-no, but Sheldon. He wasn’t twitching!"

"Wow, no wonder you haven’t picked up on the fact that Sheldon likes you. You’re fucking blind."

"Hey! Since when do you curse so much?" Penny was having a hard time focusing on everything that was happening.

"You’re right, sorry." Mindy dragged a hand across her face in obvious frustration. "Look, the point here is the following. I didn’t sleep with Sheldon. I don’t want to sleep with Sheldon. I like girls Penny." Mindy said slowly and clearly.

"Oh…" Penny blinked.

"Yeah, oh." Mindy deadpanned.

"Wait, you like girls? Why didn’t you tell me?" The hurt was back in Penny’s voice.

"I wasn’t ready, until you decided to be all dumb and emo. You honestly never noticed that Sheldon likes you?" Mindy asked in disbelief.

"He does?" And Penny hated the hope that sneaked out in that question

"Yeah, he does. I was teasing you a little, you know, trying to get you to act. And look where that got us." Mindy sighed.

"Oh…" Penny didn’t know what else to say.

"I mean, it’s not all your fault. Sheldon needs to get his big boy pants on and just ask you out, but you know how he is."

"Yeah, I know."

"So…we good?" Mindy smiled a little at her.

"We good…but wait, why wasn’t Sheldon twitching that night?" Penny pulled Mindy in for a hug before pulling back again to ask her that question.

"Sheldon frozen-in-fear Cooper wasn’t moving? Who could have guessed?" Mindy sounded a lot like her when she was being sarcastic.

"…Sarcasm?" Penny tried to fight the smile as she asked that. She failed.

"Just get your ass across the hall and deal with this before we all grow old and wrinkly." Mindy plopped on the couch and grabbed the remote.

"Wow, someone’s touchy." Penny was already cleaning her face.

"Someone had to give up a shift tonight to deal with their dumbass big sister, so yes, touchy."

Penny gave her baby sister a hug. “I know and I love you for it.”

“Love you too.”

It took Penny a moment to clean herself up, as she was checking herself in the mirror she turned towards Mindy again. "Hey, I’m here for you, you know that right? Do mom and dad know?"

"That you like Sheldon? Yeah, I told them." Mindy avoided the question and turned it on Penny again.

"You told them-no, you know what I mean." But Penny wasn’t going to get distracted.

"No. I’m not ready yet." Mindy’s face showed how much anxiety this subject bought her.

"Okay. I love you brat." Penny only wanted her baby sister to be happy.

"Love you too Pen. Now get out of here" Mindy shooed her away.

Penny felt much better now. She knew that she had a bad habit of jumping to conclusions and was trying to curb this bad habit of her because man, she needed to do better.

Staring at the closed door of 4A she made up her mind. She had a Wackadoodle to deal with.

Before opening the door to 4A she wondered if maybe both she and Sheldon were actually dumbasses. It would explain so much.

‘Okay, no more misunderstandings Moonpie. Time to come clean.’ She took a deep breath and stepped into 4A.

[demonhanabi]

The Communication Conundrum - One Shot

Originally posted to AO3 - August 2024

Sheldon shook his head, sad at how wrong his roommate was. “No, you’re wrong. Spock is the perfect portrayal of-” Leonard rudely interrupted Sheldon.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up.” Sheldon was about to turn and make his displeasure known but his roomate had his eyes focused on the TV in front of them.

“Oh my god…” Penny suddenly grabbed his leg and before he could admonish her for this infraction his brain finally caught up with the words on TV and whatever he was about to say died in his throat.

Wordlessly he turned the volume up even before Bernadette, Amy or anyone else could ask for it.

“In 1947 the US government recovered a flying saucer from Roswell-” Sheldon listened as the man dressed in military gear spoke at length. Maybe a General. Sheldon knew how to identify generals from majors and officers. Knew when the word general was used for the first time in the English language. And he couldn’t remember any of it at the moment.

“The US government covered up this incident, afraid that it could incite civilian unrest at a critical time. The reason why we’re disclosing this right now is because approximately two hours ago a new crash occurred in the middle of New York City. The crash site is practically identical as far as recovered artifacts are concerned.” The General showed several pictures to the camera.

“This is the ‘flying saucer’. They’re identical in size at around three feet in radius and appear to be made from the same material. An alloy that took us many years to even start to identify and use for our own purposes. This is made out of a mixture of inconel, magnesium, gadolinium and lithium that we have been unable to fully replicate but that has advanced our own metallurgy by leaps and bounds since it came into our hands.” The General didn’t look too happy to be disclosing any of this information and Sheldon imagined that other world governments were scrambling to try and get their hands on this stuff.

Another photo came up and a thousand camera flashes went off. “This is some sort of ‘mannequin’ that was inside the saucer. It stands at only 6 feet and it’s made out of the same alloy as the saucer. Both the Roswell and the New York crashes had three mannequins inside.” Shouts and questions flew at the General but he ignored them, instead showing another picture.

“And finally, this.” The picture showed a yellow disc with some engravings. “This is the reason why we’re showing this to the public. We know that this is some sort of message but we have been unable to decipher it. Experts from all over the world were sworn to secrecy and none have been able to crack it. It’s made out of a gold and titanium alloy.” The General took a deep breath before continuing. “And its copy was stolen from the New York site. This has forced our hand as it has become obvious that this disc can become a weapon in and onto itself. We will publish all of our research as well as high definition pictures of the disc on a website that should be appearing on your screen.”

Sheldon, Leonard and the rest didn’t waste any time in opening their laptops and visiting the site shown on screen.

“I can’t get in!” Howard yelled.

“Me neither.” Amy informed them

“Got it.” Leonard said and everyone else crowded around him. Sheldon had also been able to access and he was devouring all of the information in front of him.

The General kept talking. “We offer this to the world hoping that someone out there will be able to crack the message and reveal it to all. A two hundred million dollar reward is being offered as a bounty-” Sheldon tuned the TV out and focused on his laptop.

He ignored the pictures of the saucer and the mannequins and focused fully on the golden disc.

It didn’t make sense.

The engravings were purposely made, that much was clear, however, there didn’t seem to be any logic in their placement. Dots, lines and circles swam in static entropy. A headache was born just by watching the patterns.

Next thing he knew he was holding his head as the room revolved around him.

“Oh Sweetie, are you okay?” Penny was by his side in a moment and he tried to nod but he stopped right away as the headache became worse by it. He blindly closed the laptop and leaned back against the couch.

Penny’s cold hand on his forehead brought him comfort and he savored the feeling.

In the background the TV kept adding to the noise.

“We have faith that someone out there will be able to help us crack this.” The General said, not sounding as confident as he should have.

Go read the rest at AO3: