devinepunishment

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A farmer comes out of their house one morning to find their neighbor digging a deep hole in the farmer's yard. The farmer asks what their neighbor is doing destroying their yard. The neighbor says "I'm digging you a new water hole.". The farmer sighs and says "I know you mean well…".

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Comedian

lit. Alongside the middle datapoint.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Anything you like- fish can't speak English

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Did you hear about the surgeon that straightened book spines?

They worked in authorpaedics

Where does a book go to get braces?

The authordontist

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Wait bugger I've thought of a better pun I should have done there ignore that one-

Where does a book go to get braces?

The authordontist

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Where does a book go to get braces?

The authordontist

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bad and naughty card players get put in solitaire confinement

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Did you hear that the Energizer bunny just got arrested for assaulting people again?

It was charged with battery and it just kept going and going and going...

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Why do you send a sleeper agent to perform espionage?

Because asleep agents don't get anything done-

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I had this pair of jeans that would gradually change from low-rise to high-rise over the course of the dawn

They were my sun-rise jeans

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Every time I think of a pun a horrible, grinch like smile creeps upon my face :)

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What does a river undergoing heavy flooding and the 2008 financial crisis have in common?

Broke banks

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When it comes to stop signs, I'm kind of a square,

but when it comes to traffic circles, I'm all round-about them.

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*clears throat*

An air Friar is a catholic air bender

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this random dude in a suit of armor (no crests) just got a bag of chips at the corner store at 1am. call that a night knight-errant errand

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So when I go fishing in a river with a bobber, no one cares- but when I bring a bóbr instead suddenly everyone's up in arms because I "turned the river into a lake" and "flooded their gardens" and "need to get rid of the damn dam"