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devotedtoafrozenheart · 2 years

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Wasted Times. Chapter two.

Loki x female! reader

Summary: With literally no-one looking his way, it was just too easy for Loki to grab onto the tesseract, and also you, so he was able to transport away from the collapsing Tony Stark and everyone else in the stupid Avengers tower. Doing this, having messed up a so-called 'sacred' timeline, Loki lands himself in the TVA, and as he seized your arm, taking you down with him, you also end up there. Stuck with the raving, handsome god of mischief. At first observation, you genuinely thought he was a sadist. But (time?) with him reveals something so much more. For one thing, he's awfully sad and poetic, and he's not as evil as he looks.......

A/N: Second chapter lmao. The first part got 17 notes which is kinda good considering I hadn't posted anything before. Mobius is a father figure character. Again, I'm new here, if you enjoy this please leave a like!!

BIG trigger warning: This contains semi-graphic mentions of self-harm for the reader. It's not too descriptive (flashback) but pleaseee be careful of reading, it's at the end of the chapter. If you ever need support, pleasee reach out to someone. Pleasee take caution here.

You and Loki had gotten your tickets processed.

It hadn’t taken very long, but who the heck knew what the concept of time meant in this place. You still really hadn’t accepted that this was your life now, but alas, after the ticket-processing B-15 had lead the two of you to a courtroom with creepy orange paintings on both sides of the walls.

Paintings of these so called ‘time-keepers.’

Sounded fake, but you knew now that it was probably true.

Loki had gone first, up to the podium, to the judge, who was a very stern-looking, sharp-edged woman. She had obviously noticed you, but Loki was getting grilled first. Good on him. “Loki Laufyeson. Variant L1130, codename Loki Laufyeson, charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. Please step up to the podium. How do you plead?”

Loki audibly scoffed, and you smiled a little bit, he wasn’t going down without some snark in is system.

“Ma’am, a God doesn’t plead.”

“Are you guilty or not guilty sir?” The woman was not very pleased, sitting up in her royal spot. “Guilty of being the god of mischief, yes. Guilty of finding all of this incredibly tedious, yes. Guilty of a ‘crime against the sacred timeline’? Absolutely not you have the wrong person.” “Oh? And who do you think we should have?”

Loki actually turned around and looked at you, you cut him a hideous look, none of this was even remotely your fault.

“I suspect the Avengers. I came into possession of the Tesseract because they travelled through time, no doubt in a last-ditch effort to stave off my ascent into God King.”

“That’s quite an accusation.”

“Oh trust me, you could smell the cologne of two Tony Starks.” “We’re not here to talk about the Avengers. What they did was supposed to happen. You escaping was not.” You then noticed a handsome suit-wearing guy enter into the courtroom, with greying hair and a thin, barely visible moustache. He stared at you for a second, like he easily recognised you, even though you had never ever seen him before in your life.

“You’re Y/N.” He whispered, which shocked you, because it was so out of the blue, because you had never even met this man before, yet alone talked to him.

“What! How do you know my name?” “I’ve met you before. You’re always so nice.”

“Huh? What does that mean? I’ve never seen you.” But the man simply shook his head, sitting down in one of the rows. Loki was still auguring his case, so you turned your confused attention back to the front of the room. “I’m guilty, of this.” Loki held out his arms as you always did when you used your telekinesis power.

Nothing happened.

“Hang on… Just a sec.” Loki hit the podium in evident frustration, nothing was going right for him. It almost made you laugh. “What’s happening?” “He’s trying to use his powers, ma’am.” “Magic powers are nothing in the TVA, Mr. Laufyeson. The court finds you guilty, and I order you to be reset!” The time cops came up to Loki, immediately seizing him by the arms.

You stared in utter horror, but Loki fought back, and you were signalled to go to the podium. Now, it was your time to die. “You ridiculous bearcats will NOT determine how my story ends! You have NO idea what I’m capable of!!” You then stood on the podium, almost in tears at the sheer ruthlessness of this situation.

They hadn’t even really given him a chance to talk.

If Loki was going to be ‘reset’, well, in this situation it didn’t really warrant a good ending for you either. “I think I know what’s he capable of.” The grey-haired silver fox commented that dryly, standing up off his seat. “Alright. But first, this case.” The guy, for no reason, gave you this oddly reassuring nod, maybe he could vouch for your safety.

“Y/N Y/L/N. Variant E-9125. Charged with sequence violation 7-20-88. How do you plead?”

“Um. Uh. Well. Ok. I’m only here because of Loki. Trust this, this was not my fault. I shouldn’t be guilty because I didn’t want this to happen! Not my fault at all. But, if you have to kill him, just kill me too. Just kill me anyway. It would be unfair to, um, delete him, but not delete me as well.” “Miss Y/N, you actually want us to prune you along with this evil criminal???”

You blinked up at the lady, not even knowing what to say. Just a few hours ago, your mind had been fevered, fighting off the chitauri. Now you were in a brutal, un-forgiving court of time law. The grey-haired guy approached you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. You blinked in silence, and he turned to face the judge.

“Ravonna, you can’t prune Y/N. You’ve met her other variants. They’ve never given us any trouble. She didn’t even want to be in this situation. It was Loki’s fault in the first place. You know statically she has the most peaceful variants.” “Ok, Mobius. You’ve always had a soft spot for her. I have, too. I admit that. But what are we going to do with this one?”

“She can help us. They both can.”

“Loki can? Come over here.”

‘Mobius’ approached ‘Ravonna’, and they had a quick discussion in hushed tones. Mobius was seemingly successful, because he nodded, signalling for you to come over to Loki. You plopped off the podium and walked over to Loki, who gave you very a strange look. “What now?” “You wanted to go down with me too, if I was to be killed.”

“Yeah. Well. Take that as a compliment.”

You and Loki had to follow Mobius, who lead a trail for the TVA, there seemed to be endless corridors, stairways, and floors, it seemed to go on forever. Like one giant labyrinth. Un-escapable. Loki was fuming, knowing it would be near impossible to find his way back around. You walked silently, trying and failing to generate the fire power in your hands.

You walked way behind both the men, Mobius kept a quick pace and Loki had long, tall strides.

“Walk faster, Y/N. Then you’ll get to know me more.”

“I’m tired!” You called that out, just like a little kid complaining. “I’m going to burn this place to the ground.” Loki interjected, seething with rage. “No you actually won’t, Loki. You don’t even have your powers anymore. There’s no way.” “I thought you were on my side now, Y/N.” “Get crucial. These people control time. And you think a few silly magic tricks will stop them?”

“Y/N’s right. This is home now. No escape.” Loki stopped, and you stopped, staring out at TVA horizon. It was so futuristic, with floating cars or whatever, buildings attached to literally nothing, a feeling this area wasn’t on a physical planet, because the backdrop behind the buildings was nothingness, the statue of the timekeepers holding up the sacred timeline.

“Wow.” You whispered, smiling at the complexity of it all.

Loki couldn’t help but stare at your beautiful, genuine smile, and you stared back, until he suddenly shook his head and looked away. “I thought you said there was no magic here.” “There isn’t. I’m agent M. Mobius by the way.” You had arrived at an elevator, and Mobius waited for you to get inside.

It was a huge elevator, there was elevator music playing. It felt like the afterlife trip down into hell.

Mobius held out his hand for you, and with your good manners you shook it. He smiled at you weirdly. “Always nice variants. You statically have the nicest variants. We do run the math.” “I have literally no idea what that means.” “Are you taking us somewhere to kill us?” “No, that’s where you just were. I’m taking you somewhere to talk.”

“Well I don’t like to talk.”

“But you do like to lie, which you just did. Cause we all know you love to talk. Y/N, do you like to talk?” “Um. Not so much. Especially not about me.” “How long have you been here?” “Well, that’s hard to say. Time passes differently here in the TVA.” “What’s that mean?” “You’ll catch up.” The elevator opened and you stepped out, while Loki continued to rant and rave with his feverish mind.

You could see all the frustration in his body language, his clenched shoulders, his closed fists, you made an effort to relax your body, there would be no more fighting here today. In-fact, even with the horror of this situation, it was a nice change to be away from the dangerous chaos of New York. “So you’re part of the TVA’s dedicated and coruages workforce.” Loki was bitter.

“Yes.”

“You were created by the ‘time keepers’ to protect the sacred timeline.” “Correct!” Loki laughed. It was a pitiful, poisoned, harsh sound. “Is that funny?” Mobius gently stopped you from walking away, he had turned off at the stairs to the ‘Time theatre’, but you hadn’t noticed, you had just kept walking.

He gently held your arm, it was a caring, syampthic gesture.

Or maybe it was just a con.

“Yes. The idea that your little club decides the fate of trillions of people across all of existence at the behest of three space lizards? Yes. It’s funny. It’s absurd.” You couldn’t help but smile a little bit, this did feel like a fever dream, he had a point. “What. Y/N, you agree with him?” “No. I believe what you’re saying is true, because there’s evidence, and because I’ve heard of weirder things before. It just truly sounds ridiculous, as he said.”

“Lucky for you, we’ve always had a soft spot for your variants. Even the time keepers.” “I still don’t understand what you mean.” “It means everyone loves you and you’re just so overly perfect, Y/N. nothing bad has ever happened to you, and you live a blessed life.” Loki raged that, sarcasm dripping in his voice.

“Uh huh. Everyone loves me? My ass. I don’t even love myself.”

Mobius opened the door to the time theatre, and you entered. It was a huge room with three chairs, a table in the middle, strange lighting and an intimidating, but also totally blank atmosphere. “For the record, this really does feel like a killing-us kind of room.” “I guess you’re not big on trust.”

“Trust is for children. And dogs.”

“Hey! I thought we were going to trust each other.”

“I lied, Y/N. You’re on your own.”

It was stupid, but you couldn’t help but blink back some emotion in your eyes. You turned away for a second so they couldn’t see it, and blinked back a frightened, distraught tear. You were so tired and so lonely, and you were with these people you didn’t know in a strange place. Your only company was the insane, villainous asshole God who had tried to enslave New York, the one who had just killed eighty people.

Loki was the only person you vaguely recognised.

Of course he wasn’t actually going to help you. Of course. It had been a trick. A lie. A deception. Liar. Backstabber. Coward. Mobius noticed, but Loki didn’t. Mobius looked sincerely concerned, probably because you seemed like some pathetic overly-emotional teenager with a bucket full of hormonal angst. You technically were still like that, to tell the truth.

Loki sat down at the table, but you didn’t, you just stood there, encased in sadness and emptiness. Loki finally noticed, and sighed hugely, issuing for you to join him. “Y/N, I was kidding. Please. I’m not going to betray you. Just assume everything I say is a mean joke, ok? I’m going to protect you in this place.”

You said nothing but sat down, almost on the verge of crying.

Crying for your mom and your friends and New York and Tony and the team and having dinner with the team and listening to Bruce talking about science and everything else that had been snatched away from you. Mobius simply watched you and placed his hand over your shoulder, your father had never been a caring man like that, so this almost made you cry harder.

“Loki, will you just go easy on her for a minute? Anybody knows she’s too young for this and she’s seen a lot of horrors in her file.” “I’m sorry, girl. I really am. I’m an dreadful person, I know.” “I’m fine.” But your voice shook and wobbled. It seemed like Mobius was going to give you the look of pity. In all honesty, you couldn’t even blame him.

“Whatever. You guys can kill me in this awful place. I’m never getting back home and my mind is shaken and I have nothing to live for anymore. Loki, you could have killed me. You should have.” “Y/N, please don’t start on that line. I’m not going to kill you ever, and there’s a lot to enjoy in the TVA. A little birdie told me you want to know about US presidents variants……. You would know we get hundreds of those. Thousands of them, actually.”

This slowly perked you up. “What? Huh? Really?” The TVA worker observed Loki. The God of mischief was smouldering. He was barley holding in all the anger. “If looks could kill.” “What do you want from us? Why do you have us here?” “Well, let’s start with a little co-operation.” “Not my forte.”

“Y/N’s forte.”

“Yes. I really hate arguments and fights.”

“That’s very true. Because you went totally ballistic on me before ticket processing.” “Shut the hell up. You deserved that. You dragged me into this mess, after all.” “I specialise in the pursuit of dangerous variants.” “Like me?” “No. Particularly dangerous variants. You’re just a little pussycat.”

Loki didn’t respond.

“I’ve got a series of questions for you. Answer them honestly, and I might get what you want.” Mobius proceeded to question Loki on his desire to claim a throne. You could see Loki wasn’t at all amused, and it was pretty funny, how Mobius brutally toyed with him like that. As you weren’t a part of this conversation anymore you remained silent, quietly thinking to yourself.

Hands folded in your lap.

You should have just gone with Steve for search and rescue.

He had asked for your help, but Thor had placed another comforting hand on your shoulder, declaring you had done enough. But you should have. You and Steve would have joked around while organizing the search, he always asked you about living in this century, and you would question him on the 1940s, and he would always be like ‘Why are you so interested in that?’

He carried you around on his back a lot like a sibling bond, he was strong he picked you up like you weighed nothing.

Good times.

Then you wouldn’t be in this time mess, with a trickster God and this matrix agent who knew you better than you knew yourself.

Loki nudged you on the arm, and you snapped back into focus, blinking at the Asgardian monster. “Hmm? What is it?” “And Y/N? What do you want?” “She just wants to go back home. Back to her mother and those hero fools.” Mobius grimaced, and you had a horrible sinking feeling this spelled your doom.

You sighed out loud.

“I can’t go back there, can I? Whatever. It’s fine. I’ll do whatever you guys want me to do. I just want to hear about these US presidents first. That’s my only condition.” “Alright. I’ll give you access to the files. Some of them are highly restricted.” “Holy shit. Cool! Thank you!” Loki laughed again, and you couldn’t exactly tell what he was laughing at.

“What? I just want to know what FDR did!”

“I see the time-keepers have built quite the circus. And the clowns are playing their parts to perfection.” Mobius chuckled with just a little amount of sarcasm. “Big metaphor guy. Makes you seem super smart.” He pressed a button on the orange monitor, and a wall of holographic footage began to form a few paces away.

“What’s this?”

“A sample of your greatest hits.” You saw the holographic image of Loki painfully crawling up the stairs, having just been thrashed around by the Hulk. “If it’s all the same to you, I’ll have that drink now.” You laughed lightly, with the projection of you and the other Avengers staring right down at the humiliated God.

“You know for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot.”

“Things didn’t go so well for the last person that said that to me.” “Oh yeah, Phil Coulson.” You went utterly still, un-able to stop yourself from watching the clip of Loki implaying Phil straight through the heart, all bloody. Straight through the heart. Not through the stomach. Through the heart. You shuddered, and wanted to pray, hoping Phil had at least found some peace and rest.

“Y/N, you loved Phil.”

“I did. Again, fuck you Loki for killing the man of my dreams. How cruel.” “He was just an agent, girl. Get over it. There’s thousands just like him.” “You didn’t have to kill him! He was a good person without all the pretentious bullshit. He was there for me a lot. He was the first person to um, tell me about the hero stuff.”

Mobius continued to roll the clips of Loki’s destruction; gouging out an eyeball, wading through the German crowd, destroying the New York city streets. etc. Loki looked extremely uncomfortable, but you still saw a few flashes of enjoyment in his eyes, the enjoyment of people’s pain. Sadism.

You were still very certain that he was a psychopath.

Turned out, Loki had been the mysterious airplane hacking D.B Cooper from the 1970s. You weren’t very familiar with the case, but it was still a big surprise. Something that had never been solved. He had pretended to be someone he was not. Mobius enjoyed teasing Loki, and even though he was a monstrous fool, you had to confess Loki had been humiliated and sickly-looking, that he deserved a little bit of mercy by the time lords.

“We were right there with you, surfing that sacred timeline.” “Enough!” Loki suddenly stood up, and you shrunk back, fear evidently etched into your reaction. Loki was forced right back into his seat with the time twister. He stared at you, the way you had curled away with a flinch, always scared of threatening physical violence.

Surprise was now coded into his handsome complexion; the long black hair and thin, delicate face. “Even she’s smarter than you, Loki. Time moves differently here. You can’t win.” “Y/N, I was just standing up to make a point.” You blinked, breathing deeply. Your dad- Your dad had never been the nicest or most gentle person.

Especially considering you were a mutant with freak powers.

“Sure. Ok. you do that.”

“But now it won’t be as meaningful.” “Boo hoo.” Loki stood up again, and you shared a knowing look with Mobius, who had one of the time batons laid on the table. You picked it up delicately, trying to understand what it was, feeling slightly bad for that kid who got disentrangrated. You had only been a few years older than him, to be honest.

“What does this do?”

“Deletes someone and their entire physical matter from the tethers of time and space within existence itself.”

You quickly dropped it, your eyes going wide. Mobius smiled. Loki was raving once again.

“I know what this place is. Even though the sweet girl here can’t see it. She might be a naïve, kind mortal, but I see right through this.” “Excuse me?” “What is it?” “It’s an illusion. It’s a cruel, elaborate trick conjoured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate attempt for control. Now you all parade about as if you are the divine arbiters of the universe.”

“We are.”

“You’re not. I was- I am on the verge of aquring everything I am owed, only because I did it, not because you, or the time keepers, or the time variance authority, of whatever you call yourselves allowed me to! Honestly you’re pathetic! A nothing. A detour. A footnote to my ascent! You stupid fools have no idea who I am, what I’m capable of, what I’ve achieved, and just how much I’m lusting to take you down!”

You covered your mouth to stop yourself from smiling. It was sad, and this situation was difficult, and in a way you agreed with the points, but Loki was having a total mental breakdown, just like any other normal human being. Just like you. And you were going to tease him for it. He was collapsing. Losing it. Off his axis.

“You finished? You’re going to start taking things seriously.”

“Y/N, be on my side. We have a fair trade here.” You stood up and walked over to him, and for a second, you placed a smug, cruel, ‘I pity you’ hand on his shoulder. It wasn’t much, and you hated him with a poison, but having a mental breakdown In any situation sucked. You would know. You had plenty of those everyday.

“Yea. I feel bad for you. Ok. I’m on your side. If you chill the FUCK out and apologise for New York, for Phil, and for this situation, we’re a team. For now though, fuck you. Not working with you until you apologise. Honest to Tony.” You shoved a middle-finger into his face, and then almost laughing hysterically, you let go off his shoulder, sitting back down at the table.

“I’m not going to apoglise for my right to be king, Midgardian snark.” “You’re freaking crazy, Loki. You’re cracked. I’ll get back to you when your sanity comes back. No deal for now though. No deal.” “I thought you were supposed to be kind.” “I am. I hate being mean to anyone. Except for the psychopathic, violent warhead.”

“Cruel words.”

“Look Loki, if you hadn’t picked up the tesseract, you would have just been taken back to a cell on Asgard.” The holographic footage showed Loki walking in chains. Then it showed Loki with a beautiful, older blonde-haired woman. “Hello mother, have I made you proud?” “Loki. Please don’t make this worse.”

“So that’s Frigga? Your mother? She’s so pretty.”

“This is nonsense. More tricks. Never even happened.” “You think you send the dark elves to your brother Thor... But instead.” A hideous, ugly creature was behind Frigga, it had her in a choke-hold. It stabbed her through the stomach even though she had no weapons, a brutal, cowardly move.

The crumpled figure of Frigga laid dead, bleeding out of her side.

Loki processed that for a second.

“What's this? It’s not true. It's a lie. I don’t believe it. Where is she? Where do you have her?” “You caused that to happen, Loki.” “No! You're lying to me! Where is she? Where do you have her?!” You sobbed at the rising voices. “You cause bad things to happen, Loki. Again, and again, and again. You hurt everyone around you. You’ve made a mess of your life. And that's the way the time goes.”

“I’m going to kill you!”

“What? Like how you killed your own mother?!”

Loki grabbed a chair and threw it in a rage, it didn’t shatter the screen, just bounced into small fragments that re-joined. He tried to storm over to Mobius but was stopped, forced back onto the ground. You stared all silently, wide-eyed at the dead Frigga and the fuming Loki.

A mother’s death was the harshest thing.

“Are you ok?” Loki glared at you but then softened, not able to believe you had just asked about him with genuine worry. “I’m sorry about your mother. if she’s truly supposed to die. I love my mom!” “You weren’t born to rule, Loki. You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. That’s how it was, that’s how it is, that’s how it will be.”

You frowned, scrunching up your nose. “Mobius, that’s a bit cruel. You just told him his mom died. Let him take a breath.” “That’s the truth, Y/N.” “And what was I born to do then?” “The exact opposite. Peace and prosperity!” “Bull. Incorrect. I haven’t done jack-shit.” Mobius extended a hand, and Loki took it, getting up off the ground.

You closed your eyes, leaning over the table.

You just needed… A rest. So tired. So far from home.

You heard the doors open, and B-15’s flatline voice. “What are you doing?” “My job. Is it yours to interrupt?” “There’s been a situation.” “Always a situation. Loki, I’m sorry about your cursed life. Don’t go anywhere. Y/N, don’t fall asleep.” Mobius left, affectionally tapping you on the shoulder. You swatted him right away.

Loki rushed over to you, prodding you on the back.

“Midgardian sweetheart. I stole his thing. Quickly! Get up! Now!” “Huh?” You opened your eyes, and Loki had the time twister in his hands. “Holy crap!” “I promised you I would get you out of here. We’ll go straight to the tesseract. Quickly!” He re-winded the thing a few times, finding himself in various different positions.

You stayed stationery.

“Hold on to me.” “Why?” “Just do it!” You held onto his shoulder, and found yourself transported back to the orange reception area, which was even emptier than it had been before. You laughed manically, it was like some high-paced action movie with an overloaded CGI budget. And you were the main character.

“We’re going to get in so much trouble.” “Not if they don’t catch us.” “The reception guy took it.” Loki looked around feverishly, and pointed in success. “There he is!” Loki paused. “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? RUNN!!!!!” Loki practically sprinted over to the passive-looking clerk, who was heading back to a small cubicle. You quickly followed behind, even though the notion of running almost made your tired body collapse.

Loki shoved the man under a desk, and you joined, appalled at the thought he was created by the Time Keepers. How do you just create a living person? “Hey, I know you! You’re the criminal with the blue box. And you’re his girlfriend!” You gawked, un-able to stop yourself from going a little red. “I am NOT his girlfriend. He’s a sicko.”

“What’s your name?” “Casey!” “Give me the tesseract or I’ll gut you like a FISH Casey!”

“What’s a fish!?” You had to a double take to this. “How do you not know what a fish is?” “I’ve lived my whole life behind a desk.” “That’s messed up, man. These people are prisoners.” “You’re being threatened with violent, painful death!” “Ok, ok. I comply. Jeez.” Casey opened a drawer, and Loki gratefully lifted the tesseract out, mesmired by its blue glow.

But even though he extended it in his hands like how they held up Simba in the lion king, it didn’t transport him.

Or you.

You both stared at each other, and then you threw up your arms, utterly spent. “It’s over. We’re stuck here. We’re not going back. Mobius was right.” Loki looked down, noticing something in the drawer. You looked. Large, multi-coloured glowing stones. Pretty. “What? Infinity stones?” “An infinity huh what?” Loki picked a green one in a trance, and you watched in fascination.

“Y/N, this is supposed to be the most powerful object in the entire universe.” “You what? What’s it doing in a drawer!?”

“Oh, yeah. We get a lot of those. Some of the guys use them as paperweights. Some of them.”

Loki stood up and you watched, with the tesseract in his hands. He seemed to study the TVA, the workers, the weird architecture, the blank sterile state, and after a second, you joined him. The God and the lonely avenger standing side by side. “Is this the greatest power in the universe?” “Yep.” Casey smiled.

“Woah. Cool. I almost didn’t get to see it.” You said that in awe. “Scary. Terrifying.” “We’re insignificant in the grand scheme of things.” You whispered, watching the workers complete their tasks, the analysts doing God knows what to the sacred timeline with God knows who. “I’m not.” “Uh-huh. You have been dwarfed.”

You smiled at Loki. But this time it was a real, genuine smile. Not full of hate or anger.

He actually placed a hand on your shoulder, smiling back. “My darling Midgardian snark, at least we’re stuck in the most powerful place in the universe.” “That’s so awesome.” An elevator dinged behind you, with B-15 stepping out. You put your arms in the air for surrender, but Loki wasn’t having that, clasping onto your arm.

“Hey!” He used the time-twister immediately and you were both transported back to the time theatre.

It was empty. Where was Mobius?

He trudged back to the table, and you joined, slumping in your seat. The holographic image was still on poor dead Frigga. You stared at it for a long time. “Hey. I’m sorry about your mother. I truly am. She seemed nice.” “She really loved me.” “And I do not doubt it. My mom too.” “I know. We’ll never see them again.”

“Sucks. I just wish I could have said goodbye.”

Eventually you knew that Mobius would probably come back and yell at you because it would somehow be your fault, but for now you were allowed a moment to simply breath.

You and Loki both glanced at each other, and even though he was still the vile, violent, sociopathic murderer, it just wasn’t your style to be so mad and poisoned. You had the kindest variants, as they had said.

“Hey. I’m sorry for back before ticket processing. I shouldn’t have screamed at you like that. You had no idea we would end up in this place. It was not your fault.” “You’re right, Y/N. I couldn’t have known. You should have thought that out earlier.” “Sorry, Loki. Truly.” He sighed, shaking his long black hair.

“Now I feel bad for a silly mortal. I’m sorry, too. You didn’t deserve this, snark. I either kill someone or let them be. Not whatever this is. I just felt so angry. Deep down. In my soul.”

“It’s totally fine. I get that you’re a piece of shit. But I am, too. I’m enraged about New York. Cause my mom lives there. And my friends. But not mad about this.” “I just want to strangle these damn time keepers.” You smiled sadly. “Good luck with that. I bet they’re seven meters tall. And they know everything. They probably saw when I first used the toilet. They saw when I wet the bed. Hey. They would make sure FDR grew up properly.”

He fiddled with the orange monitor, and more footage rolled. Loki was with an elderly man, and his Norse brother Thor. “I love you my sons. Remember this place. Home.” “Aww. That’s Odin then? He loves you deep down.” “He doesn’t.” “I thought the world of you Loki. I thought we were going to fight side by ide forever.”

“Aww. Thor loves you too. You might have gone wrong, but of course he loves his brother.”

“Stop analysing me, Y/N. You don’t know me.” But the Asgardian’s eyes were swimming. “You’re not as bad after all, brother.” “Maybe not.” “If you were here I might even give you a hug.” “I’m here.” You smiled, feeling a little bit teary-eyed at the ‘future nostalgia’. This future Loki looked happier and healthy, free of sin.

Then, the ending footage.

“I herby pledge to you, my un-dying fidelity.” Loki thrust his arm forward, trying to stab a large, purple-coloured humanoid thing. “Un-dying, eh? You should choose your words more carefully.” “Who’s that? What is that?” Loki besides you was frowning, looking frightful and upset. You were horrified to see Loki slowly being choked, his eyes bulging right out of their sockets.

“You.. Will… Never… be. A….. God.”

Wide-eyed, you watched Loki’s neck being snapped, the sound was so gruesome and left nothing to imagination. “Oh, no! You died!” His body was flung away, cast aside like it was nothing. Loki gasped and looked away, and there was sounds of something about to blow up, the world was ending as Thor cried over Loki’s dead corpse.

“You died bitch. You tried to stab that thing, with a knife? A true dumbass moment. Oh, that was awful. Oh, I’m so sorry. I really am. I am sorry. I’m sorry you had to see that. Mobius probably didn’t want you to see that. And you seemed happy. You didn’t deserve that.”

He started laughing, it was a hysterical, delirious laugh. “Glorious purpose.” “Sorry. Don’t worry. I probably died too.” The door swung open behind you, it was B-15, back at it again. You sat entirely slumped, and she gave you a sharp look. “Hey. We thought you were alright. You tried to escape with him.”

“Sorry. I just wanted to go home. I’m not trying anything anymore. And I wasn’t trying to help him. I don’t want any trouble. I give up.” “I believe it. I understand.” “Do you know Mobius?” “You there, on the other hand.” Loki stood up and B-15 swung her baton, but Loki caught it, wrenching it right out of her grasp.

He picked up the time-turner as she pinned him against the table, releasing his collar, and your one too. He managed to twist her hands with his Asgardian strength, using her force against her. And as she trashed, he locked his collar around her neck with no mercy. He used the twister to send her back into position, near the entrance of the room.

“Loki. Stop. She was just doing her job.” “She was trying to kill us!” He re-wound time again. And again. And again. “Stop it- Sto- Stop- it.” You grimaced, watching the awful time-rewind situation play out, you could see Loki was releasing some of his boiled anger and hatred. “Loki! Stop!” She blurred so much she became nothing, and then she was finally kicked from the server, transported away, with Loki giving no shits in the world.

“Loki. That was mean. And it must have hurt.”

“Thanks for helping me, Y/N.”

“You handled it fine on your own. I’m tired.” He threw the twister and you caught it, he walked off, sitting down. Maybe he had the right to rage and be sad. The thing had finished with; ‘End of File.’ If that wasn’t a complete kick in the gut for someone, then you didn’t know what was.

Mobius M Mobius entered then, observing your exhausted stance and Loki’s depression.

“Nowhere left to run. Y/N, you can get some rest soon.”

“In this hell hole?”

“We have room for you.”

“Ok.”

“And food. You’re hungry. And a drink of water.” “Cool.” “Can I?” “What now?” “I’m supposed to show you your file.” You chortled out loud. With a poison. “So I too can see my violent, painful death? Mobius, show me my violent painful death. Do I have my neck sliced or something? How do I die? I bet it's gnarly.” “Y/N. Please.” You remained silent for a second, not wanting to talk to Mobius or Loki or B-15 or Casey or anyone else in this stinking hellish place.

You knew you would have to.

This was home now.

But you had your mom.

And even though it made no sense, you thought about your mom.

When you weren’t in the Avengers tower you lived with her, and she would always make your bed for you, in exchange for you cooking her favourite meal or doing the dishes. She would always arrange the pillows in a way you didn’t like, and when you told her she would be like ‘Ok, don’t worry, I’ll fix it babe’, but then she never did.

And you would always watch cheesy romance movies together.

And it was tradition for Steve to take you out for dinner on Fridays, whether it just be fucking McDonalds or at a restaurant or eating pizza in some forgotten pizza place that never had any customers. And Tony would. Tony. Tony Stark. Tony would always give you a platonic forehead kiss, or wrap his arms around your shoulder, or comfort you with a high five, because he had a soft sport for you and couldn’t deny hat.

Even though you had the appearance of someone shy or timid or sweet, you would listen to ACDC or led zeppelin or Nirvana or whoever it was with him, you loved his music taste, the guitar thrashing and the screaming. It was all gone now. All of it.

“Y/N.” Mobius said. “Whatya want from me Mobius? You guys stole me from my life just because Loki over there grabbed onto my arm with the blue box. I didn’t do anything drastic to change time. I didn’t shoot someone in the head or become a villain or drop a bomb or time travel to kill a US president. I’ll do whatever you want. What is it? I’ve tried my best and now here I am. I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Just whatever.”

“I’ve seen the things in your file.” You faltered there for a second. “Look, ok. Don’t judge me. I confess. But please don’t.”

“I want to help you with what you went through. And don’t you deny it and say that was someone else girl, because that was you.”

He came over and punched a few things into the monitor, and you knew your life would play, in all it’s glory. “Can I please see how I die?” “No. You’re not killed by the purple thing. You live a long enough life. You meet a few people. You’re ok.” He let the footage show you in the bathroom, at home, as a young girl.

You knew what this was immediately. Your worst moment. Mobius had gunned straight for that.

“Y/N. I just couldn’t believe you had done this to yourself. I saw it and I thought, no. No. I couldn’t.”

“Stop it. Piss off. Shut it off. Skip this. This is nothing. Fuck off.”

You saw yourself use your telekinesis to hurl a knife around in the bathroom, it was an angry, desperate thing to watch. That was, that had been the worst day of your life. Your best-friend had started a fight with you, in tenth grade, about some silly little thing that would mean literally nothing just a few weeks later.

You had gotten back bad results in a test you had really wanted to ace.

You hadn’t fell well enough to even eat lunch, it was disgusting US school lunch anyway.

Your dad was in the picture, but that only meant pain and a telling off and the sentence: ‘I wish I had a different daughter’.

Your mom.

Mom.

She hadn’t been there to comfort you. After school. She had to work extra late, so at home, there had been no one. Who else was there? No one else. Just pain and loneliness and how you had felt cursed and that had been before the Avengers was even a mere concept. Before Tony had even become Ironman. Before the heroes and the villains to fight off.

“Mobius! Stop! Please!”

You watched the knife soar into your hand, and you, not too deeply, but still anyway, sliced it against your young wrist, the notion awful and upsetting and hard to stomach. The younger you cried, and wept, had a breakdown, at a breaking point, blood ran red out of your flesh and onto the bathroom floor for all the troubles you had experienced.

You hadn’t rembered feeling that bad.

The fact it was so bad you had made yourself forget how bad it had been.

You quickly healed yourself with your power, so the cuts went away instantly, but after five minutes of sobbing you saw yourself give in again, slashing at your skin again, and again, and again. What a proper nightmare. You wept yourself, watching it happen, you had suppressed the memory, a silly little thing like self-harming, but now here it was, and it was just truly awful.

You heaved a shuddering sigh.

Tears flowed onto your face in the present, you had no words.

No words at all.

You leant over and cried for your younger self who had experienced such a horrible, un-deserved time, and you heard a sound like Mobius stopping himself from crying, it wasn’t too graphic or anything, not to gory, but it was still nasty, just for how young you had been, to already have thoughts like that.

You had a headache.

But not inside your head, inside your heart.

And it had been so very painful.

The thirteen year old you passed out, in a pool of red blood.

You watched as the wounds of your younger self began to heal without you using your power, sometimes your body just did it for you.

Mobius placed a hand over yours, but you yanked it away, feeling utterly enraged.

“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME THAT!? HAS THIS WHOLE THING BEEN A CON!? OK I SELF HARMED SO WHAT?! I FELT ALONE AND UNLOVED AND NO ONE GAVE A CRAP MOBIUS! NOBODY GAVE A SINGLE SHIT ABOUT ME, I COULD HAVE DIED, HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL IN THE TVA!? HAVE YOU ONLY BEEN OH SO NICE TO ME, POOR YOUNG Y/N, BECAUSE YOU KNEW I HAD DONE THAT!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? I TRIED MY BEST ALRIGHT!? I TRIED MY BEST AND THERE WAS NOTHING BUT PAIN, AND PAIN, AND MORE PAIN! I’M SORRY. I. I. I. You should have told me. God. What the hell? I’ve had a hard day and now this? I’m sorry, ok?”

You trembled, and it was true your angsty yourself self had self-harmed, not because you just felt alone or un-loved. Not just because you simply felt like that in your mind. But because you truly were actually alone and unloved, no thoughts, just the pure, plain, actual truth. There had been no one that loved you. Still there wasn’t. Never would.

Mobius was almost in tears. It was not a good look.

You refused to even glance Loki’s way.

Mobius wasn’t often emotional, but knowing someone as kind, as a nice as you, had done that to themselves at only thirteen, just as a young girl, basically still a child, well, that didn’t exactly sit right. What he had cried at before through the time files? Literally nothing. Well, he was almost crying now. That was someone’s daughter. Someone’s friend. Someone’s child. Someone’s something.

Just a young girl.

Because you were young in that footage. Thirteen is nothing. And there you were. Almost dead. And no one knew. You shook your head at the utter silence in the room, it was so silent except for the loud sobbing of Mobius, who had to cover his eyes for a second, he was just that emotional and shaken up. Went he went through people’s files it was usually drastic changes they had made, or not doing that important thing they had done, or somehow not being where they were supposed to be. But not this. Not to see this. Not to be so un-prepared to see this.

“Sorry. Seriously. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to myself. I am truly sorry Mobius. I survived, alright? I admitted it to my mom and we got help and now I’m? I’m happy. Yeah! I have Steve and Tony and Nat and- Phil. Well. I did have them. I don’t even have them anymore. But it’s ok.”

it took a while for Mobius to stop sobbing, he had to comb through your file before, and look what he had found, without any warning.

He pulled you back into your seat, and clasped onto your hands, you could still feel the sobs racking throughout his body, his silver white hair and the moustache. “I just couldn’t prune you. Not here. Not like this. Not after you survived that.” You looked at the footage, it was still stuck on your unconscious bleeding form.

Still, more tears flowed.

Dear God.

I’m sorry to my younger self, but I’m ok now. And I have-

A reason to live.

Yeah.

“I’m sorry. You just went straight for my worst moment, and it stung. You shouldn’t do that to people when you question them. I had almost forgotten about it. I self harmed, alright? I was all alone and had no one to turn to- And when I looked so carefully for a reason NOT to do it-“ You took a long pause, extending your hand towards something or nothing. “There was nothing there. No reason. So I did it. I’m sorry. Still am.” “Even Ravonna cried watching this footage.” “That’s an invasion of my privacy. That’s gross.” You tried to joke, even though you were still near tears.

“Ok. You got me. I self-harmed. I’m pathetic and messed up. And I struggled with depression and wanting to die. Still do sometimes. I admit that. It was before the Avengers and before Phil, and so I didn’t really have much to hold onto. It was upsetting you had to show me that. And I’m, I’m sorry you had to see it.” Mobius looked so deeply at you, and you glanced away, but then you let him gently take your hand.

“Y/N, you have to believe that I’m not going to hurt or kill you after what I’ve seen you go through. I have to guess you felt angry, and alone, and devasted, and it’s a miracle you’re so kind and heroic even after that. You have to trust me that everything is going to be alright in the TVA, we have a place for you here. Can you do that? Can you trust me?”

“Yes. I am so sorry I snapped at you. I’m not exactly at my best right now. In my heart. I’m sick in my heart.”

Mobius just stared at you for a few minutes, with honest to God, the look someone has when they purposefully stop themselves from crying.

Your arm was face down on the table, resting. Mobius gently touched your arm and you didn’t flinch so he tenderly turned it over, inspecting, grazing his thumb across your un-hurt, healed wrist. He went silent for a bit, just gently holding onto that point of your arm. In an alternate universe you realized just how good of a kind, caring father he would be.

“My gorgeous, beautiful girl. You don’t have the scars.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Ok.” “Ok.”

“Ok. I’ll play you some more. I’ll play you something happier.”

He played more time footage and you saw yourself using your fire power to create a bonfire, during a camping trip. It had been with your friends, you had been around fifteen. You didn’t exactly want your friends to know you had powers, so in that one moment you had been all alone when they had been setting up the tent. When they got back they had marvelled at your fire-making skills, not at the power they didn’t know you had.

You had laughed and made smores.

You also watched yourself hug Phil Coulson, the two of you had this weird, zingy connection, even though he was gotta-make-this-right-protect-the-world-do-my-job-SHIELD-agent, the two of you had bonded easily, especially over the Avengers, over the heroes. Phil hugged you closely, in the moment you smiled and hung your head, and he said ‘I’m proud of you, kiddo. So proud.’

With a painful pang you realized he would never get to have kids of his own.

Then you were with someone you didn’t recognise, a tall, thin man with a red cloak and blue robes, who had a handsome, chiselled face. His cloak seemed to be floating, although that couldn’t be possible. “Who’s that?” “Doctor Stephen Strange.” “Doctor what?” You were very shocked to see yourself lean forward and give the doctor a quick kiss, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, his hands were shaking. You rested your head into the crook of his neck, it seemed like the two of you were standing in front of this huge staircase.

“Is that my future boyfriend?! He’s cute.” “Master of the mystic arts.” “Magic? Cool!” Then you saw yourself with a guy who had a metal arm, and long brown hair, and those sharp, sharp eyes. You held onto his metal arm gently, and he flexed his metal fingers, looking pained. You said: “Don’t blame yourself, Buck. It wasn’t your fault.”

Mobius stopped the footage there, you had much more of your life actually, it was just too long to show.

“Who’s that?” “James Bucky Barnes.” “Steve’s World War Two friend!? But I thought he died!!” “He survived. After the fall he got captured by HYDRA and made into a super solider. But a bad one. A winter solider. Eventually he broke free of HYDRA’S mind control and become an Avenger.” “Woah. That’s cool. Wait, did you say he was mind controlled?”

“So, Y/N. You were supposed to live out your life as an Avenger. You have a relationship with these two people. Bucky Barnes and Stephen strange. You befriend other heroes. Etc. You befriend some future Avengers like Spiderman, Scarlet Witch, even Moon Knight.” You felt deflated, but also kinda relived.

“Ok. it seems like I didn’t miss too much in my timeline future. It’s ok. So I’m not that pissed about being here.”

“Do you want to talk about, your hard times?”

You paused, and Mobius continued to look at you deeply, it made you feel uncomfortable that he probably knew every single little detail about your life. He still had a comforting hand on your arm, trying to make you feel better. You had the impulsive action of turning your arm face-down, but he turned it over again, looking down at your wrist with sadness and a searching guilt. Like it was somehow his fault.

You kept putting your arm down, but he kept turning it over, his fingers gently searching your skin.

“No. Not yet. Again. I’m sorry. I’m not strong enough.” “Ok. I’m really thankful you survived. And after that you achieved some amazing things, yeah?” Loki was staring at you, absolutely fucking horrified. He had seen some truly sickening things, but that was something else. His facial features were downturned in a look of pure horror and worry, none of the anger or poison. Even he was appalled.

And oh of course, hadn’t he struggled with those feelings himself?

When he first realized Thor was better than him. Blood and pain.

When he first realized he was never going to please his father. Blood and pain.

When he first realized that no one noticed him, that he was just some nothing. Blood and pain.

When he first realized he was a frost giant. Blood and pain.

When he had tried and failed so hard to; 1, claim the throne, 2, receive the affection he so craved, 3, be noticed and cared for, 4, loved by someone other than only his mother Frigga, 5, up-root Thor for at least one tiny moment, 6, have a place on Asgard and simply just EXIST for any reason at all, then have his world crushed, shone outlit by Thor, have his father say ‘No, Loki’, and fallen off the Bifrost brdige..... Blood and pain.

You glanced back at him.

“What? Are you going to snark at me again now? Really?”

“Y/N. I don’t even know what to say. Where to begin.”

“It’s fine. I even don’t want to hear it.”

“How could I have screamed at you knowing you did that to yourself? You make me feel awful.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry.” Mobius was still searching you, softly squeezing at your hand. You made a cruel joke. The cruellest joke you had ever joked. “I can’t imagine how bad you would feel if I died in this place.” A look of something dark crossed against his face. “Y/N. That’s really not funny. I really do feel like I need to keep a watch on you. I'm greatly concerned about you. Especially after the New York battle you just witnessed. I’m going to have Miss minutes keep an eye on you.”

“Minutes miss what???”

Mobius just continued to stare into your soul, just this great concern and worry and you were reminded of in the Avengers tower, if Clint or whoever talked bad about themselves everyone else in the team would be like ‘No, you fucking don’t bitch! We’re going to cheer you the fuck up!’ But now rather than being funny, it was just sad.

Eventually you cracked and shrugged your shoulders, because it looked like he was going to start crying again.

“Mobius, I swear to God I won’t even do anything at all. How could I? You seem like a great person and I don’t want to upset you. I can understand how barley shaken up you are… And that was ages ok when I was, you know, angsty teen. Everyone is pained at thirteen, you wouldn’t get it. I’m genuinely sorry. This place seems kinda cool. I want to know more about it. I don’t want to die. Phil would be pissed at me in the afterlife. He would be like ‘bitch, you were supposed to live-“

You trailed off.

Mobius covered his face to stop himself from crying again, but then he steeled his emotions.

“So, you two. Do you agree to help ol agent Mobius at the TVA?” “With that?” “A rogue variant has been hunting down and killing our minutemen.” “And you want the fearsome God of mischief to help with that? And that poor tortured Midgardian girl? Why?” “Because the variant is you, Loki. And I think Y/N might be key in cracking the variant’s soul.”

Your eyes went wide with surprise….

#loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki x you #loki x female reader #loki fanfiction #loki series #loki series rewrite #loki mcu #agent mobius #loki show #loki 2021 #miss minutes #my writing #loki laufeyson #loki layfeyson x reader #tw self harm #this turned into a vent

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devotedtoafrozenheart · 2 years

Text

Wasted times. Chapter one.

Loki x female! reader.

A/N: My first ever actual post on tumblr. No followers but the good old cheesebot. But hey, if anyone wants to read this, well, feel free. If you enjoyed it, please like and reblog!! Even more amazingly, please give me a follow!

Warning: Loki and y/n have an emotional shouting match, frequent swearing, suggestions of depressing thoughts and a few graphic sentences.

For you, being the youngest Avenger in the team was hard.

There was still lots of college work to worry about, there was still bills to worry about, there was worry about controlling your three un-predictable powers, trying to convince your mother you weren’t going to die was a major stressor, and living in New York, within the presence of superheroes and supervillains, was a total nightmare on it’s own.

Long story short, it had been an exhausting day, and a very, very turbulent life.

To start a brief prologue of all the chaos, you had three supernatural powers.

The normal life of an average, artistic twenty-year old girl wasn’t so normal for you, because you were quote on quote, an enhanced being. You had the power to generate bright fire in your hands, the power to move things around with your mind, and the power to heal other people’s injuries with a single human touch.

No one knew how or why you had gotten these three powers, you didn’t even know yourself.

And if someone did secretly know, well, they certainly had kept that part quiet.

Life was just weird like that sometimes.

You understood, weirder stuff had happened to you anyway, living in New York city. With the superpower status and all those phony remarks about a hero initiative, you had in fact been dumped into a team of superheroes, encouraged to do some training, been put on a watchlist, etc, etc, etc, and now here you were, in an elevator with Tony Stark, Thor Odinson, and even that sadist Loki, the actual freaking god of mischief, from Asgard.

With S.H.I.E.LD having found out about your powers like they always seemed to do with ‘enhanced beings’, they figured the way to stop you from becoming one of those rabid, egotistical supervillains with a crack in their mental wellbeing, was to quickly introduce you to the team, into the Avengers, to the best people on the planet.

After all, the team was supposed to fill your head with delusions about ‘Being a good person’, and the common ‘Using your powers for good reason.’ Current fig, exhibit A; Battle of New York. The fight was finally finished, and now everyone was crammed into this too-tiny elevator, heading down from the highest possible level of Stark towers.

You were exhausted, drained, fatigued from the fight, you had used your three powers to fling falling rubble and debris off little kids, to burn up any chitauri monsters that scourged the streets, and heal anyone caught up in the madness, the most damaged person you had to heal, had sported a graphically broken leg, so graphic you could almost have seen the bone broken through their skin.

You were leaning against the elevator wall, donning a nasty cut on your forehead, but you were so sapped of energy, you couldn’t even heal that. Just a few meters away, stood Loki laufeyson, the evil, horrible creature, the one who had started this whole raving situation. You were very surprised to see Loki had long raven-coloured hair, and a thin, lanky frame, with a detached expression of playful, cheeky sadism.

He looked nothing like his brother Thor, muscular, blonde Thor. You had heard rumours Loki was actually adopted into the Asgardian family, the bad egg, the black sheep. In all respects, Loki was physically attractive, so much more handsome than you would have thought he would be.

Story goes, the battle had happened on a Sunday, you had been free from your college lessons, you had been available to help, to kick some chitauri ass. Now it was time to go home, everyone was slumped, and the tall, raven-haired Loki was presumably going to receive a HELL wrath from his father Odin, for his numerous Midgardian war crimes.

Thor put a comforting hand on your right shoulder, understanding just how exhausted you truly were, the older, way older brother who was protective and caring.

In some ways he was your favorite member of the team, kind and generous, not overly judgmental and vain, Tony was like that sometimes, and everyone knew Steve was a goody two-shoes, so Thor was kinda your favorite. You had joined the team when you were only eighteen, right out of high school, and now you were twenty.

Everyone you met thought you were still so young, young and vulnerable, that you had joined the team at such a young age, which was true. Tony had admitted, maybe that had been a mistake. Tony was your second favorite. But there was no point dropping off the team, you had also seen some truly horrific, grotesque things, there was no going back.

Like the battle today.

The sheer terror and cold evilness of Loki had been so shocking to watch, he had come so close to obliterating your home, New York, your city, where your family and friends lived, where so many dreams came true. With trying fight off his forces, your team had won, but you also had a bloody, painful wound, a pounding tiredness, and the screams of terror still ringing in your aching ears.

Reaching the bottom level, the elevator dinged and everyone filed out, Thor finally letting go off your shoulder. The two of you were close. He was so old in Asgardian terms, and you were so young in human.

You almost walked into Loki as he got out, long green cape and the intricate Asgardian outfit. Loki simply studied you for a second. He hadn’t seen much of you during the battle, you had been down in the streets, doing more civilian work than fighting, doing more civilized work than the Hulk, who had smashed Loki into the floor so hard he could still feel his brain rattling around in his skull.

Loki didn’t even know what your special talent was, if you had any. You had no Ironman suit, no enchanted strength, not even the trained combat of Natasha, so he didn’t even know why you were on the team, to him you looked like any normal Midgardian girl. After staring for a tad too long at your frightened face, he was forced to keep walking, and you breathed a sigh of relief, thankful he hadn’t graphically impaled your heart, like he had just done to Phil Coulson.

Poor Phil.

Phil had been a father figure.

Phil had loved you.

Thor and Tony marched on ahead, on a war path, but you hung back a little, not knowing what to do now. Being so young and all; no one was going to let you into official S.H.I.E.L.D business, stuff like cleaning up fallout, assessing damage, alerting who about this and this and what to do about this. You weren’t sure what to do, whether it was time for you to just go home.

Call it a day.

You watched Tony, a silver briefcase in hand, being approached by some official looking government guys, probably some senior S.H.I.E.LD citizens. Inwardly, quietly, you were thinking about your mom. She hadn’t wanted you to join the Avengers. She had sprouted warnings about the danger. Sorry, mom. But you had survived so far. and your college friends, surely they would have seeked shelter and rode out the ferocious battle, you would all have to talk about it during a sleepover.

You weren’t really paying attention to Tony until he collapsed, collapsed like he was having a heart attack. You watched in sudden shock, Tony had fallen to the ground, grasping at his arc-reactor heart, gaping like a fish out of water. People were immediately surrounding him, trying to help, and you couldn’t do much, so you simply stared, not Tony, not right after Phil Coulson.

You then frowned, watching as the briefcase he had been holding went flying across the floor, almost like it had moved by itself. Weird. The briefcase. It seemed to have moved. On it’s own accord. It had skid quite a distance on the floor. Tony was still struggling, with people still panicking, but you could only puzzle at the briefcase, wringing your hands, what the heck was going on?

You were about to impulsively leap forward and pick it up, when the Hulk burst through the nearest door, crying out with his angered dullness ‘NO! STAIRS!’. This knocked the briefcase back your way, dangerously close to the demon Loki, the evil one, the monster. You were going to extend your hand out, with your telekinesis, but Loki picked the Thing up, picked up the glowing blue cube.

The tesseract.

That was what had been inside.

You simply stared at Loki, and the look on your face must have been so toxic and venomous, something so accusing and angry in your eyes, because he then roughly gripped onto your left arm, almost twisting the limb out of your shoulder pocket. You felt your consciousness being yanked out of your skull, felt yourself losing sense, losing mind.

For a few minutes, you didn’t feel anything at all.

You couldn’t tell if you were dead, because in those minutes you didn’t have an active conscious state to process that actual idea.

But slowly, slowly, like you had just awoken from the shortest sleep of your life, you felt something. A sensation. Someone kicking you sharply. A pain. In your side. You slowly opened your eyes, un-aware, un-understanding, wondering now if you had just been killed, killed so quick you hadn’t even registered it.

When your eyes opened fully, you took in the sight of Loki Laufeyson standing over you, long black hair draping around the thin, angular shape of his face. You couldn’t even tell if this was real. It didn’t really seem like it. You groggily made to sit up, and then it all came back to you, in a sudden flash. Getting out of the elevator. Marching forward. The government guys. Tony struggling. The briefcase flying. Loki taking the tesseract. Loki seizing your left arm.

Death.

The sadist.

Oh, God.

He was going to kill you. He was. You were dead meat.

You scrambled back a bit, getting up, trying to get away from the murdering psycho.

“You. Mortal girl. I’ve taken you as a hostage. You’re never getting back to The Avengers. You’re with me now. You’ll never see them again.” He had a surprisingly nice voice, not too deep or too guttural. You stared pure poison at Loki, and then looked around, realizing you were in a dusty, plain desert somewhere.

Like a Sahara.

This was NOT New York.

“What? What just happened? It just felt like I died. I’m woozy.”

A few feet away, the tesseract was nestled in the sand, still faintly glowing. You doubled over and then almost vomited from the exhaustion, you felt so banged-up and nauseous, it was a miracle you were still alive, you could have collapsed on a hospital bed. You couldn’t even stand, really. Your resorted to sitting down in the sand, and then blinked, the giant cut in your forehead was bleeding again, the red blood was dripping straight down into your eyes.

“You took me as a hostage? Why? You lost, man. Seriously. What was the point?”

Loki paused, and then frowned to himself. “Silly questions. Aren’t you scared of me?” You groaned out loud, the pain in your forehead’s cut was getting worse, blinding your nerves. You placed your hand to the wound, focusing on your healing power. The pain slowly ebbed, and the bloody flesh started to sew itself back up, the wound healing back to normal.

Loki was surprised, but you still had crimson blood tracks all over your nose and cheeks, like something out of a horror movie.

“How did you do that!? Are you not human?”

“I am. I just have supernatural powers. It’s not too weird compared to- I mean, have you seen The Hulk??” You then realized how pissed off you were, had to get back, had to tell your mom you were ok, before she decided to just kill your herself. It was hard to aim your irritation at a god, though.

“Hey! Take me back to New York. I just want to go home. Seriously. I’m just. I’m so tired, man. And I have classes on Tuesday.”

You held out your hand, focusing on the tesseract. It flew over to you with your telekinesis, but it didn’t transport you to your bedroom, it simply glowed brighter. It was surprisingly hot in your hands. “Two powers!? Not Midgardian at all. The cube only works when I use it.” “Screw you. Hey! I just remembered…… You killed Phil Coulson. He was so nice to me.”

You stood up with a forced, painful effort, your vision swimming with stars, your body severely not ok. You took a deep breath, and the stars faded, but you still felt so rotten. You folded your arms at Loki, you wanted to kick him and call him a disgrace, but then he would probably slaughter you right where you trembled

You were scared of him. Of course you were.

You had to control your voice and everything, but right here in the sandy desert he seemed less dangerous, and you were sure he had lost his weapons, his daggers. “I am scared of you. Duh. Why wouldn’t I be? But I’m too tired to do anything about it. And you must feel pretty tired, too. Look, are you going to kill me or not? I’m hungry. Just kill me already if you’re going to.. Where even are we?”

He was silent for a second, a little bit of amusement coming to his facial features, not all the visible rage and terror. “You have powers. That’s why you’re on the team. You’re not entirely useless.” You wiped at your clothes, at your shredded jeans and your dirty Sam Raimi The Evil Dead t-shirt, wiping the sand off those filthy clothes you had fought in. You didn’t have a proper Avenger uniform.

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N. Just let me go back. This is getting stupid.”

“Watch how you speak to me, girl.”

Frustrated now, you held out your palm, and a ball of flame erupted in the crease of your fingers. An orange, ferocious, roaring flame. Your most destructive power. Lethal. Loki actually took a step back, and you grinned, to everyone else it was a roaring fire, for you it only felt like a warm tickle. “You sick, disturbed creep. Trying to destroy New York. I saw little kids get hurt. People lying dead. Stay back or I will burn you. How am I ever going to be the same after this experience?”

Loki was silent for a second, maybe the briefest sense of regret softening his stance.

You could understand, if he had done everything like that, because something was so fundamentally awful in his life, you would understand that, his motives, but still. The things you had seen….

Loki, for a second, looked a little sad.

“I wasn’t trying to destroy your city, miss. I’m not a sick creep. I’m not a savage.” “Oh?” “I was trying to rule it. There’s a difference. I meant to rule your people. I didn’t want people getting killed. How would I rule everyone if everyone there died?” “Then why did it have to be so violent?”

He had no answer to that.

Loki suddenly turned, and you turned, noticing an orange, transparent door appearing out of literally no-where, in the sand.

People started to stream out of it, a woman dressed in something like a military outfit, but more futuristic, more sharp-edged. “Appears to be a standard sequence violation. Branch growing at a stable rate. Variants identified.” “I beg your pardon?” Letting the flame in your hand die, you shrunk back a little, there were four guys, like S.H.I.E.L.D soldiers but more hi-tech, un-like anything you had ever seen before, and it was obvious they were not here to be friendly.

This was getting crazy. All you wanted to do was go home. Have an ice-cream.

“On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, the two of you are under arrest. Hands up. You’re coming with, variants.”

You instantly put your hands up, even though you didn’t understand who these people were, or what the heck they wanted.

Loki cut you a look, a snarky, bitter look. Even with that, you still noticed how handsome he was. Much more your type than Thor, Thor or Steve.

“Put your hands down, girl. No one makes demands of us.” “What?! Are you crazy!? I’m doing what they want!” The female solider nodded at you, with something that looked a bit like pity. Pity for your age, probably. Everyone was always like, ‘Fighting for the world when you’re only 20!?’

“You shouldn’t have been dragged into this, child. Now you’re going down.” Loki barked out a harsh laugh. “I’m sorry, what is ‘This’? Who even are you people?”

“You’re under arrest variat. The girl understands. Get it through your head.. Last chance.”

You continued to hold your hands up, watching the wind blow through Loki’s long black hair. If there was to be a fight, there was no way Loki could win against these people. You were going to go with them, there was no other choice. Even though they looked emotionless. No pity. Just brutal establishment. You were so pissed.

If Loki hadn’t grabbed onto your arm, you wouldn’t even be in this stupid mess.

Loki placed his hands on his hips, blowing out one long exaggerated sigh. “It’s been a long day. And I think I’ve had my fair share of idiots in armoured suits telling me what to do. So actually, this is your last chance… Now get out of my way!” The solider lady struck out a baton or something, and hit Loki straight in the face, no mercy.

You watched in fascination as Loki seemed to slow down, in time, like a freeze flame, just pausing in mid-air, so strange. You noticed something on her shoulder: ‘B-15.’ Her name was a numbered letter. B-15 smiled at you, cruel smugness written on her lips. “Are you going to do that to me!!??” You questioned, holding your hands even higher.

“No, honey. You’re sensible. I just have to put this thing around your neck.” She had a neck bracelet, a tracking signal, which wrapped itself around Loki’s neck. He looked absolutely foolish. In any other situation, you would have laughed. “Um, hey, look, please, I’m not a part of this. He grabbed me on purpose. I didn’t want to be transported here. I didn’t ask for this. I just want to go home. I need to see my mom.”

For a second, B-15 looked genuinely sorry for you. She was dark-skinned, with a rounder form and a short haircut. “Sorry, honey. But you have to come with us. We deal with time, and you two just messed up the timeline. We can explain more soon. Nothing bad will happen, if you just do what I ask.” She tugged on your shoulder, and you let her put the bracelet around your neck, too weary to fight.

Loki had taken a hit to the ground, his long, lanky frame splayed out on the sand. Not the super intimating villain he was before. Still poisoned. But tired, just like you. The other time cops forced him up, and you smiled a little bit, they were out for his BLOOD. “Karma, Loki. Have some instant karma.”

“Midgardian, that is not funny. I did nothing to deserve this.” The fools forced Loki through the door. You blinked at B-15, and after Loki’s lead, she forced you through the orange door too, firmly holding onto your shoulder. When you emerged out of it, you were in an entirely different place. A strange, sterile, artificial, orange-coloured reception area, unlike any other reception area you had ever seen before.

You were standing right next to Loki, and he gazed down at you with his tall height, you gazed up, noticing just how striking the color of his eyes were. Again, he stared at you for a tad too long. He probably thought you were beautiful or some phony thing. You had been given that compliment a lot of times in the past.

Not like it really mattered now, though.

“Why did you have to seize me? We’re in this mess together now.”

He blinked.

Shuddered.

And then he tried to bolt.

He ran for it, but B-15 used a device in her hand to wind back time, so Loki was forced right back into position, right next to you. You laughed, Loki wasn’t going to get out of this situation anytime soon. You weren’t, either. But they were treating Loki like crap. The soldiers marched Loki up to the receptionist, working at an orange desk.

He tried to bolt and bolt and bolt, but every time he did, she just kept rewinding the device.

It was a hopeless, doomed effort.

She placed the tesseract down, and there was confusion on the worker’s face. “Log this as evidence.” “Can you at least tell me what it is??” “It’s the tesseract!” “Sounds dumb!” You and Loki were marched over to a set of doors, Loki in all his glorious frustration, had seen enough. “I’m dangerous. You’re a fool. Look, you cross me, the God of mischief, and there are deadly consequences.”

“Hmm… We’ll see.”

B-15 pushed Loki into the door, whatever it was, and it closed, trapping him inside. You looked around the orange area in sheer horror, holding up your hands so high into the air. B-15 was nicer with you, as you tried to process just what the actual fuck was going on. So, they were time police. You and Loki had done something to fuck up time. Him stealing the tesseract? What would happen now?

They couldn’t just alter time or anything to re-put the tesseract into Tony’s briefcase.

Would they, let you do time travel?

And most importantly, could you get finally something to eat?

“Um, so I guess the timeline didn’t like Loki taking the tesseract.” B-15 nodded, relived you weren’t raging and fighting. “Yes. He was just supposed to get shoved into a cell on Asgard. Mistakes like that cause a butterfly effect on the scared timeline.” “And what was I supposed to do?” She didn’t answer, either because she didn’t know, or she didn’t want you to know.

“Are you guys going to delete us from existence now?”

“Loki? Yes. It would a pleasure to prune him. You, not so much. I’ll try help your case. You’re the only sane variant I’ve met with some sense. You’re, it doesn’t seem right that you deserve this.” The doors opened, and you knew you were supposed to go inside. “Um, what’s this?” “Just some standard time testing.”

“What?”

She waved goodbye.

You realized you were now in a little room with a robot, and even worse, this robot had a smiling face. It held out one arm, and seemed to aim something at you that de-materialized your filthy, bloodied clothing, you were appalled, seeing yourself stark naked. You then dropped through the floor, straight through the floor, and landed in-front of an overweight man at a desk, with a cat.

You realized you were in new clothes now, a prison jumpsuit, brown, ugly, hideous, but clean and not caked with blood and grime. There was a stack of papers on the desk. “Please sign to verify this is everything you have ever said.” The stack wasn’t too tall. That made you feel a little sad. When it came to it, you liked being more reserved and silent.

You frowned, but picked up the pen, signing a flowery ‘Y/N Y/L/N’ on the top paper.

The floor suddenly dropped again, and you found yourself in-front of an airport security scanner machine, with a dwarfed man wauting for you, holding a clipboard. The situation as weird. It almost seemed like a fever dream. Time cops existed. Time travel existed. There was a proper flow of time for all events in your crazy universe.

You had fucked it up.

And now, you were in time jail.

“Please to your knowledge confirm that you are not a robot, that you are a living sentient being who posses what many different cultures and beliefs would consider a living soul.” “Um, yes, I’m a human. I have feelings. I have a soul.” “Please move along, miss.” You paused in the scanner, and it flashed brightly, presumably scanning your soul.

The thought was enough to make you feel violated.

It was just too strange.

You wondered how you would explain any of this to your college friends. They felt like a world away already. On a different planet. The man recovered a flash card from the scanner, a polaroid photo, a thingy, a thing you couldn’t really describe, but instead of a picture, moving colours purple and blue. “What’s that!?” “Your temporal aura.”

“A what?”

You were almost certain Loki had asked the same question to the man minutes before. But this time, he answered for you. “It’s what they use to detect if you have alternate versions of yourself living in the sacred timeline. The colour’s usually represent what your soul is like. As a person. Your soul is, purple and blue.”

“What do you mean, alternate versions? More than one version of me?”

“Yes. Different realties, miss. I can’t explain much. But the other versions of you are very nice. So I’ve been told before by my colleagues. Nice variants. Only one evil one. That usually doesn’t happen a lot.” “The guy before? Loki? The man?” “Bad variants. Very bad.” You were silent for a second, not knowing what to say.

You had a sudden hysterical, obsessive shower thought. “Have you ever had time variants of U.S presidents? They do stuff that alters time. You know. Leaders of the free world. Wait. Do you know what the means?” “Well, yes. We had quite a lot of JFK. And FDR.”. “JFK if he didn’t get assassinated!? FDR if he didn’t get polio???”

“I can’t explain anymore miss, please move along.”

The floor dropped once more.

This final room had nothing, so the doors immediately opened. You stepped out, and there was Loki. Right in front of you. Tall, handsome, lanky Loki.

It was an area with lines arranged to pass through airport security, but it was completely empty except for a younger kid, basically a teenager, and a few soldiers, and some accountant guys working at the back. You approached Loki, it looked like he was waiting for you. In all honesty, now you wanted to cry.

You were tired. Sad. Alone. Far from home.

Loki stared at you, the murderous, insane, raving, psychopathic poisoned, revengeful sicko who had just tried to take over New York. “Y/N. that’s your name, right?” “FUCK you for dragging me into this mess, Loki. I have the right to be so pissed off right now. None of this was supposed to happen.” But that was all the anger you had left in your system. Your shoulders slumped, you couldn’t feel angry anymore. Just sad.

“How old are you? You look awfully young.”

“I’m twenty.”

“They’re about to kill a child.”

“Haha. Very funny.” You looked around, thinking about what the guy had just told you. It was a miraculous thought. Theses time cops made dibs on anyone who messed up. Anyone. And there had been forty-four presidents so far. “They had US presidents in this place. They had FDR in here! Wow. I wonder what he did to mess up. Could have crashed the whole country. Hoh! They had a version of him who was republican.. No. FDR gone way wrong. Gone to the Axis powers. Holy shi.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“I wonder if they ever had Woodrow Wilson. God. I fucking hate Woodrow Wilson. I hope they deleted all versions of him. He was a racist asshat. I’m going to teach you about US presidents. I know a lot.”

“I can’t believe those fools let you on the team.”

“What? The Avengers? They were my friends.” “You were just a child on the team. You were too young to be fighting for, whatever. You were just a baby. You were only twenty. Thor’s over 1000 years old, and Tony must be about forty.” “I’ll scare you even further. I joined when I was only eighteen.”

“How did Tony Stark think that was good a idea? What would your parents think if you had died? What would he say to them? Sorry your little girl got killed?”

You chortled.

“My dad doesn’t give two shits about me. And I comforted my mom a lot, so we worked through It together.” “Take your tickets.” You took a ticket from the barricade, and started through the processing lines, Loki right behind you. You were downtrodden now, he could see every ounce of the snarky fight had left your body.

No more anger left for him.

“Are you ok? We’re in this thing together now, you have to toughen up.” You were so shocked by the question, you openly gaped at him. “Are you serious? Why would I be ok right now? They expected me to burn some Chitauri with my fire, I had to heal people with the most horrible injuries, I had to move the mess of buildings around with my telekinesis. Phil’s dead. My replacement dad. His blood splattered. I got kidnapped by you for no reason. Forced into this jumpsuit. And now they might delete us from existence. If they had the power to take US presidents away, where you do you think that leaves us? How is any of this what you would consider ok?”

The room was so un-nerving, with the lights hanging from the ceiling like peering eyes, silence except for you and Loki talking, nothing else. And there was no else but that one kid. Not a lot of people went through this. No one to help. No family. Friends. No Thor to give you advice. Loki gave you a look of amused pity, and you scoffed silently, for a second you had this brutally twisted hope that they just deleted him already, because he was a plain horror to be around.

“Y/N, you’re falling apart. It is hilarious to watch.”

You simply ignored him, walking through the lines. With your silence he was left to his own thoughts, and he must have been feeling pretty disturbed like you, and perhaps seven more, because he suddenly cried out ‘This is a mistake! We shouldn’t be here!’. You knew he excepted you to retort with something sarcastic, but you didn’t have it in you anymore.

You were just a sad creature trapped in a sad life.

“Y/N, say something.”

The way he said this.

You snapped.

You stared at a monster and the only thing he stared back at you with was pity.

“Fuck you, Loki. I said something. And it’s fuck you. Fuck. You. I thought you were a sadist. A psychopath. You could have butchered me. You killed people for no reason. Why? Why? I’m not letting you help me with this until you apologise, or show some sympathy, or tell me why. You murdered Phil Coulson. They said you killed eighty people in two days. What do you want? What do you want me to say? What do I say to a murderer and terrorist? What do I have to do for you? What would make you happy? You sad, sick disaster. You tried to throw Tony off the tower. If he hadn’t had the suit on, he would smashed into pieces. You would have done the same to me if I had been in your way. Like, I just don’t understand. So here it is good sir, delivered to you on a shiny silver platter: For once in your cursed, monstrous life, do a good thing and leave me the EVER LOVING ABSOULTE FUCK alone.”

A brief silence.

Loki Laufeyson would not be spoken to like this.

1000 years worth of rage and hurt.

Anger went gruesomely feral across his handsome facial features.

“You’re pathetic, Y/N. You're fucking pathetic. Tony forced you into the team so young and now you’ve lost all your strength. You’re just a child. You have no idea who you’re messing with. I’m a God. A God. You’re nothing. You’re a weak mortal who can’t even begin to comprehend what I was trying to achieve. I’ve seen worlds you will never know about. You’re right. I could have killed you. I could have snapped your neck into half. But I didn’t. I didn't because i thought you were beautiful. No one has ever seemed as beautiful to me. But you’ve done nothing but show me disrespect for it. You have to recognize your superiors. You're trash. You’re dirt compared to me. dirt. A human number. A nothing. Just another person that could have died if you didn't have your powers. There is a reason why I had to invade New York, I had to because of the malevolent titan, but if you keep treating me like this, I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER TELL YOU WHY. ARE YOU ON MY SIDE OR NOT? OR NOT?! JUST LEAVE ME HERE TO THE SAVAGE THOUGHTS OF GIVING UP! YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS EVER AGREED TO SPEAK WITH ME FOR AT LEAST ONE MINUTE WITHOUT OVERWHEMLING DISGUST IN YOUR EYES!”

You couldn’t help it. A tear escaped your eye, then two, then three.

All you had wanted to do was your best, and he was a God, yelling at you, just some in-significant mortal girl. You were tired, hungry, scared, isolated, away from your friends, your head ringing with the battle that had just finished, you had stepped up and kicked some ass, but you had never asked for any of this, never asked for your powers.

Some of the graphic things you had seen…………..

Nick had given you Phil’s fanboy trading cards of Captain America.

They had been doused in his blood.

Doused.

Loki instantly saw the tears, and he softened, but only a little bit. You sat down on the ground, collapsed, wanting to curl yourself into a ball, just crying because you somehow these freaking times cop would never let you see your mom again, or your friends, of your family, or New York, or the stupid times you had to get up for college, or Tony ruffling your hair with a wink, or Natasha constantly asking if you had a boyfriend, or Steve sometimes taking you out to grab some dinner, or the silly, problematic way you used to have a picture of F.D.R on your wall, back when you had thought he was a good person, back before the Japanese interment camps and the racism against the Jewish people and all the other horrors, he could have the best, better than Abraham, but he went and did that.

You covered your head and your face, but continued to cry, embarrassed because the soldiers and the kid and Loki were all watching you.

You just sat.

Sat there and cried.

You could hear Loki walk over to you, and he tapped at your shoulder with his shoe, tap tap tap, you could feel him kicking you lightly in the arm.

“Y/N. Shush. Shush. Stop crying, girl. Ok. Ok. Ok. I shouldn’t have screamed at you like that. I'm- I didn't mean that. I didn't mean it. Y/N. Y/N. Don’t you think I’ve been through horrible things as well? Don’t you think I know just how bad my own life is? Don’t you think I’ve also seen terrible things? We’re both angry and scared and alone. We have to figure out how to get out of here. Together. I’ll get you out of here. We’ll get out of this place. But you have to trust me. I don’t need this sadness from you. We have to work together. Put the past behind us. We've been through horrors. No more horrors for each other.”

“They can just kill me. I don’t care anymore. I’m not the same now. I’m over this. I have nothing to live for in this place. I want to die.”

Something weird to Loki’s voice.

“No. NO. NO YOU DON’T. You don’t say things like that. You have powers. Act like it. Toughen up. Know your worth. Mortals don’t even have powers, but you do. We don’t think like that. We don’t give in to our feelings. If we feel like that, we shove it down deep. Don’t be ridiculous. Think like that again, and I will be even more mad than I am right now. It's too real. Now shush. Odin know I've cried before. Y/N. I'm sorry.”

To silence you and Loki’s raised emotional voices, a different voice, with a southern twang. You wanted to look who was it, but you didn’t, because then Loki would see your disgusting, blood-tracked, tear-tracked cheeks. You didn’t look, just listened. “Hey there, I’m miss minutes. I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably saying this is a mistake, is shouldn’t be here.”

Loki went silent for a bit, listening to the voice talking, which sounded slightly strange in a way, like it wasn’t actually a person.

You weren’t even listening properly, but the voice started on about the first multiverse war, the three time keepers, the sacred timeline, varying off the path the time keepers made for you, which meant becoming a variant, a variant now with no place on the timeline, a variant with time crimes that had to await a trial.

You weren’t really listening.

You still had the picture of FDR.

It was from when you had to do some research about him for a paper. You had found out he was a good person. Great, even. A hero. Born in New York. Just like you. Beating all the demons and the polio and The Great Depression and then World War Two, and the strain of those things and the high blood pressure and people shitting on him and God knows what else. Only this time without any powers. Who better to look up to? You had put him on the wall. Next to all the photos of your friends and memories and the sunset and art and all that crazy crap.

But then you had found about all the horrific stuff.

It made him less of a great person in your mind, but you could still be like him, right? A good person, only without all the horrific mistakes and screw ups, this time, even better. But you weren’t a great person. You were just a mistake. Your whole entire life was a mistake. And now, it was getting deleted. Like a typo on a document.

I've failed you. I haven't done enough. I've been weak and I haven't been there for people when they needed me most. Because of what? My own sadness? My own guilt? About what? Yes, i confess to all of that, my hero. But enough. Please don't look any further. I confess. But enough. No more.

Loki was saying something.

You closed your eyes.

You felt something, him placing his hands on your shivering arms. He clasped onto your wrists tightly, his hands long and thin. “Y/N.” You said nothing to this. “Y/N, look at me.” You opened your eyes slowly, and looked at the evil one. “I’m genuinely sorry. And I’ve never been sorry before. Never. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, ok? Say it. Say Loki feels actually sorry. because it’s true. Say it. it's true to the Gods.”

“Loki, you feel actually sorry.” You whispered, voice barley even there.

“I think we’re both damaged and upset and broken. And we shouldn’t take that out on each other. We need to work together. You’re right. I’m a villain. I’m a nightmare person and I admit it. I was tortured, and possessed, and had my mind twisted by a monster so badly, it got splinted into fragments. I would explain more about this, but it would put your safety in jeopardy. Just know that we’re working together now, ok? Ok? Ok? Ok?”

“Ok. Ok.”

“And I will NEVER hurt you now. I won’t kill you and I won’t even try to yell at you. And knowing you now, I won’t even try to backstab you. I won’t.” “I don’t believe that.” “I know. I have to earn your trust first. You didn’t deserve any of this. And I am so fucking sorry. You have no idea. I had no idea you were in so much pain. I had no idea about your struggle.”

You took a deep, shaky breath.

An apology was always good. And this one sounded genuine.

“I’m sorry, too. You probably have a messed up reason why you did everything, some reason, some backstory. I can never know what someone else is going through, Loki. I have no idea what you’ve been through. So sorry. I am so, so sorry.” “Ok. Ok. truce. Truce between us? We’re in a new place. A new beginning. I don’t think this place is even on earth.”

“Ok. Truce. Truce.”

“I’ll probably have times when I get mad and beyond upset at you. And I’ll shout. And you’ll shout back. But we’re on this truce now. i'm so sorry for what I just said. I am. “Ok. Truce.” “Truce. But remember, I’m still a God, and you’re just a mortal. But truce. Truce.” You smiled a little. He smiled back, but it was so sad, and for a second you could swear there was tears in those bright Asgardian eyes.

You stood up with an effort, and his tall frame leaned over you, tall and lean and lanky.

You looked up at the TV screen, and for a moment swore that an orange clock was staring right at you with wide, enormous eyes. It had to have just been a recorded video. A video of that clock pretending to talk. But it was staring at you, right at you, with a human like expression of shock. You stared back, not knowing what to say. A hallucination. It had to be a hallucination. Then it was gone. “Ok. You have to tell me, what’s an FDR?” You were about to explain, when a voice cut through the silence.

“What are you looking at me like that for, bucket head? Why you pointing that thing at me?” The kid at the front of the line was getting mad, raising his voice. The time cop was demanding for his ticket, but the boy hadn’t taken one. The cop was fed up, because he pulled out a baton, and when it met the boy’s shoulder, he was disengrated into nothing, with a horrible, gruesome, metallic scream.

A scream that seemed to go on forever.

You and Loki stared at each other in fright, the sound was just God-awful. “Got your ticket, Y/N?” “Got my ticket. Got your ticket, Loki?” “Got it. Ok. Let’s go. No rages. No emotion. We'll end up running this place. Again, I'm sorry. We're in this together.” “Ok. Together. I'm sorry too. Truce. As one. No more fighting.”

And the two of you went into the unknown.

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