diaryofagirlx - Tumblr blog

[diaryofagirlx]

Sometimes I like to imagine myself as a porcelain doll. Yeah I have some cracks, a few scuffs, but I'm still dainty and beautiful and perfect.

[diaryofagirlx]

this song lives, and rots inside my brain

[diaryofagirlx]

all i want is to dissected like a frog on a biology table.

[diaryofagirlx]

Hey people! thanks for following my blog. I just wanted to give an update and say that I’ve recovered. Yes, that does mean that I’ve put on a bit of healthy weight, and it wasn’t smooth sailing to get to my current mindset, but I’ve never been happier then I am now. I understand that tumblr can be a safe space for people with eating disorder’s, so I’m not gonna tell you stupid recycled words of endearment to try and get you to follow in my footsteps. All I want is for y’all to know that I’m finally happy. I have more friends and get more compliments then ever. So yeah, that’s all 🫡 might still keep posting my poetry and stuff, just know it’ll be of different themes.

[diaryofagirlx]

Me: "how many-"

Google: it's "calories" isn't it bitch🙄🙄

[diaryofagirlx]

My personal 'calorie bank' system!!!

When I have a set number of calories I'm allowed per day which I'm allowed to consume, I do this thing where I have a calorie bank and anytime I eat, I take away those calories from my bank. It's quite simple, I'm sure other people do this too, I just like to make it cute hehe.

I do this in this this weight loss diary app and I have a daily allowance for calories which I will add onto my current number of saved calories.

For example: my daily calorie paycheck: 200kcal. calories in bank: 0

If I ate 140 calories that day then I would then have 60 calories in my bank. And then the next day, I would get my default of 200 calories but if I wanted I would have 60 calories extra!

But If I ate 150 calories that day and I didn't need the spare cals I would then have 90 calories in my bank and if I kept that up I could save A LOT.

This rlly motivates me to eat less and it gives me an extra push to get through the binge urges because I know if I binge I'll waste all my hard earned calories on crap when I could go out and treat myself instead.

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·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ I hope I explained this right! This isn't important but honestly this works rlly well for me and gives me so much motivation and makes me feel a little less like death. I was excited to share lol

[diaryofagirlx]

tbh all i care about at this point is

• don’t be late to work

• don’t eat

[diaryofagirlx]

what even is the difference between pretty skinny and scary skinny at this point

[diaryofagirlx]

Big text to remind me what I found on TUMBLR to keep my ed diet

Some excuses to not eat whe I am with people around (from @ana-girl0) - "Sorry but I am not hungry" - "Sorry but I don't like this ___ food" - "Oh I ate a very big breakfast this morning and I am still full" - " I have a stomach ache" - "I will eat at home to save on money" - "Sorry I am busy right now, I have to go for something important" - " My doctor put me on a special diet so I can't go and eat at the restaurant"

Some motivation quotes (@4n4-m14 @blndsundoll4cbale) - What you eat in private, you wear in public - Don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog - You are in control. You have the control - You are not hungry you just bored - Skip dinner, wake up thinner - Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels -They don't care unless you'r skinny enough - Don't binge it's cringe - No Food no binge - Eat for the body that you want, not for the body you have -Junk food you have craved for an hour or a body you have craved for a lifetime ? it's your choice ! - Think it, want it, Get it - Feeling cute even when I am dressed in sweats - Being able to wear tiny tank tops - My face slimming out - Finally being the skinny friend (what a goal) - People asking me how I lost weight - People talking to me more and worried a bit for me at least - Getting drunk/higher quicker - Pretty priviliege - Taking cute instagram photo

Ed shows : (desac) - To the bone - 13th - girl interrupted - Starving on suburdia - Pretty little liars - my skinny sister

May add more in the futur

[diaryofagirlx]

am i going to faint or am i just tired? nobody knows

[diaryofagirlx]

this fucks

[diaryofagirlx]

if binge bad why the literal best feeling ever

[diaryofagirlx]

how to stay safe by fasting

this is based on my personal experience, i’m not a doctor or a psychologist, i’m just a person with psychiatric problems who has suffered the consequences of the big mistakes i have made because i have not taken precautions

• if you are going to fast for days, make sure you drink isotonic drinks because i know you and i know you will drink thousands of cups of tea or other drinks to deal with hunger

• after 48 hours it’s very fucking dangerous to continue fasting, because you can start to experience the famous fasting fatigue, although it can also be experienced even if you have only been fasting for 16-24 hours

• make sure you do activities that don’t require too much physical exertion, don’t waste the little energy your body is using to keep you alive

• in my case, fasting sometimes makes me anxious, so i usually colour, play a phone game, or drink a relaxing herbal tea. netflix, meditation or listening to music can also help me

• if you are determined to exercise no matter what, even though you might end up like mary’s mother in spongebob, i advise you to go for walks of no more than an hour, and at a leisurely pace

• for the love of edward christopher sheeran, limit your intake of energy drinks or stimulants in general such as caffeine and tea. i’m not saying don’t drink them, but please don’t stress your heart to the point that it wants to become independent of you

• if you are liquid fasting, remember that yoghurts, smoothies, soups and protein or nutritional shakes will be your best allies!!

• if you suddenly start to feel your limbs go numb, you feel confused and disoriented and your skin turns as pale as a twilight character, RUN TO THE MOTHERFUCKING KITCHEN AND EAT SOMETHING!!!! if it’s something with sugar, all the better. let’s not argue about this. your life is non-negotiable!

• DON’T even think about taking laxatives while you’re fasting. you’re already eliminating enough water!! don’t make your intestines suffer or you’ll end up drier than a sultana and shitting uncontrollably all over the place!

if you want to add anything else, please feel free to reblog this post 🙏🏻

[diaryofagirlx]

shaking six year old me by the shoulders YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FAIRNESS AND ABOUT SHARING IS CARING. YOU WERE RIGHT. THE ADULTS DON’T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT TRUTH THAN YOU DO. KEEP BELIEVING IN THE FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN. NOTHING IS “JUST THE WAY IT IS”. I AM SORRY THEY EVER CONVINCED YOU TO FEEL SHAME. YOU ARE REAL AND A PART OF THIS WORLD. YOU WERE RIGHT.

[diaryofagirlx]

Femme Fatale Guide: Game-Changing TED Talks Everyone Should Watch

"How Five Simple Words Can Get You What You Want" by Janine Driver

"Master your Mindset, Overcome Self-Deception, Change your Life" by  Shadé Zahrai

"How to talk to the worst parts of yourself" by Karen Faith

"Think before you speak, hacking the secret of communication" by Catherine Molloy

"The Hidden Code For Transforming Dreams Into Reality" by Mary Morrissey

"Don't Believe Everything You Think" by Lauren Weinstein

"The public speaking lesson you never had" by DK

"Programming your mind for success" by Carrie Green

"How to stop screwing yourself over" by Mel Robbins

"Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success" by Louise Evans

"The psychology of seduction" by Raj Persaud

"Why we're unhappy -- the expectation gap" by Nat Ware

"Think Fast. Talk Smart" by Matt Abrahams 

"Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix' by Tasha Eurich 

"5 steps to designing the life you want" by Bill Burnett

"Staying stuck or moving forward" by Dr. Lani Nelson Zlupko

"To reach beyond your limits by training your mind" by Marisa Peer

"Emotional laws are the answer for better relationships" by Diana Wais

"Feelings: Handle them before they handle you" by Mandy Saligari

"Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth" by Adia Gooden 

[diaryofagirlx]

[diaryofagirlx]