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I don't want to be in a relationship

I don't want to be touched

I don't want to be loved

I don't want to be wanted

I want to be an irritable old bog witch who spends her days brooding with her ferrets and one eyed cat

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it's finally here! 😭

for MONTHS i've been constantly editing, rearranging, and using all my brain cells trying to make this build as accurate as possible! while its not perfect, i'm really happy with how it turned out and it pretty much serves its purpose. i hope y'all enjoy it, thank you for being patient. ❤️🤍❤️

(shoutout to my testers @cinamun & @nucrests!!! i appreciate the thorough feedback and suggestions!)

important info:

lot type: retail

lot size: 40x30 (originally placed in evergreen harbor)

required EP's: get to work, get together, city living, cats & dogs, eco lifestyle, highschool years, growing together

required GP's: outdoor retreat, my wedding stories

required SP's: kids room, movie hangout, cool kitchen

required kits: bust the dust, blooming rooms

uniforms:

target uniform by me (included in the zip)

cc included (very cc heavy sorry lol 550mb) all credit goes to the cc creators below!:

target collection (signage, ads, etc)

retail store collection (shelves & display)

target 'exclusive' items

aroundthesims | bessy | brainstrip | brazenlotus | brujah | budgie | caroll912 (tsr) | charlypancakes | felix | goldsim | harrie | janjumjam | kiwisim | kkb | leafmotif | lot51 | max20 | myshunosun | nickname | nynaevedesign | oni | pandasama | peacemaker | picardsims | pickypikachu | pictureamoebae | pierisim | porphyria | ravasheen | scodeeyodee | sixamcc | soloriya | severinka | sooky88 | srslysims | syboulette | taurusdesign | thecluttercat | tuds | tukete | veranka | wondymoon

cc not included in zip:

functional blender

flicbuster

xml injector (required for brazenlotus' voidcritter pack)

optional mods:

everyday clutter kits become functional

bathroom clutter kits become functional

vehicle replacements

air fryer

download on patreon

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Madame's Curiosities

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I finally did it, I finally got away from that stupid relationship. I endured abuse to the point that I almost died for nearly two years, but I finally got away. Thank the Universe for taxes.

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writing tip: delete your project, go outside

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“When you told me if I was going to kill you, to make sure I gave your ferrets and cat to someone who would be good to them, that made me feel bad.”

When I was laying in a pool of my own blood and couldn’t see straight and all I could feel was panic about my babies, I felt pretty bad too. Weird.

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I don't even feel like a human anymore. I just go through the motions. I don't feel anything other than emotional distress and when that happens I'm a fucking rampage. I don't wanna be here anymore. I don't love anyone anymore. I love my animals, but like??? they can literally thrive with anyone else, they'll be alright. I'm over it. Let me go.

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I don't even know what the point of writing about it is, it isn't as if it will change the way I feel magically.

On the 19th of April, I packed all of my things and my furbabies and left a relationship with an abusive prick. I went from a 400sqft apartment and being beat on and psychologically tormented every few days, to three bedrooms, high ceilings, and central heat and air in spacious rooms.

Sounds awesome, yeah? You'd think so.

Now comes the reality of all that abuse. All those physical fights and the gaslighting. I have to sit here alone in this huge house and process through the trauma and the soul-crushing agony that you were just another person that wasted my time and gave me scars.

I have a literal scar from the concussion you gave me. I have a hard time seeing still, and sometimes my head hurts so badly that I stutter and can't process the English language correctly.

But every single time we got to that point, you'd explain it all in terms to make me take all the blame. When I refused that reality, you then started spinning a web as if we were both abusing each other and it had to be stopped.

My part in all of it was reactive abuse, by definition - and honestly, I don't agree with that term for anyone who has experienced it because our reactions come from being tormented.

I didn't lose my shit simply because you had said something I didn't agree with. I endured days and weeks of BULLSHIT before I would finally snap.

It was always little things, so that later you could tell people I overreacted. My friends got to the point that they refused to come around if I didn't leave, because they couldn't stomach the way you treated me in front of them and couldn't fathom what you did when we were alone.

I've always had issues with doubting my reality, but being gaslighted on a daily basis for almost two years straight put me right back where I was before I did all that work in therapy.

I don't care what people think of me. I don't care what you've told anyone. I don't care what you're telling yourself to cover your own ass.

I just want to get to the point that I can look at it all for what it really is and finally be happy that I escaped.

I didn't 'lose you', I didn't 'make a mistake'. I got away.

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I stay triggered 90% of the time (and have for the last year and a half) and I cannot fucking function anymore.

Between getting my ass beat, BPD rage flashes, nightmares, general PTSD bullshit, paranoia, hallucinating, and now my person being in the hospital because he had a stroke in my kitchen yesterday I AM LOSING MY SHIT.

It's a lot. It's a whole lot.

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Do things constantly have to be so melancholy?

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I don't want to be in a relationship

I don't want to be touched

I don't want to be loved

I don't want to be wanted

I want to be an irritable old bog witch who spends her days brooding with her ferrets and one eyed cat

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Sometimes you have to let go.

I just wish it didn't hurt so fucking badly.

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