discowingneckline - Tumblr blog

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his little boy!!!!

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Head empty just Damian’s eyes

Twi

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i think everyone needs to adopt "i didnt say it was good, i said i liked it" into their vocabulary right now. it did me wonders

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he has that sadness in his eyes that you only see in eastern european gay porn

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so school was briefly kicking my ass, but luckily i'm basically done. i also i've started some medications and they had me a bit of a mess for a while. i will be getting out a oneshot sometime soon after my semester closes. umm after that is released, since i missed the one year anniversary of my first fic, i was gonna put up a week vote for new fics and/or alt povs/missing scenes/etc.

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idk about you guys but i could totally survive in gotham. low rent AND a chance to see batman in action nightly? I'm just saying no amount of rogues crashing through my window at 2:47 am could dissuade me from the ever slim possibility of seeing the batcheeks up close and personal

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old stuff. i just love this little sketch sm ((

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watching people insist that dick grayson would post thirst traps and tiktoks and overshare online and accidentally reveal his secret identity because he’s open and honest and would never lie as if he doesn’t hate talking about himself and hides from the people he loves and rarely directly says what he’s thinking

u fool!! u have been tricked by the facade!!! a graysons nature is to perform!!

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save me 90s tim drake with the stupid hair

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lesbian dickroy im not okay :(

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I'm a normal person until I remember how Dick perched his chin on Bruce's arm.

Year One: Batman/Scarecrow #1

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brb vomiting because a transphobe liked my post. newsflash, buddy, fuck you and get off my page.

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Okay, let's talk about Ollie's experience with fatherhood.

I'm an Oliver Queen apologist forever, but I think that there's a tendency in fandom to go one of two ways- "absolutely perfect dad, no flaws whatsoever" or "evil abuser who shouldn't be within six miles of a child". This isn't an Ollie exclusive phenomenon, a lot of characters and topics do fall into that black-and-white mindset. But the thing is- Ollie doesn't have to be either extreme. Particularly with Roy, who most of the debate centres around, Ollie wasn't perfect! I think there's such a rich discussion point in terms of young Roy's relationship with Ollie, so much more than just That Panel. Because, in my interpretation, Ollie absolutely cared about him, absolutely saw him as a son, but also the idea of being a father is something that deeply terrified him. The idea that this literal child being dependent on him made it feel more real, if that makes sense. Coming to terms with the fact that he was responsible for another person's life was difficult for him, and so he put up this wall- hero and sidekick. A conceptual dynamic, one that's not based in reality. He can keep that distance between himself and Roy and decide what that means, he doesn't have to be a father because that word has so many strong connotations, but he can still express that he cares about Roy, in his own way. That's why he always calls Roy 'Speedy' even out of costume, that's why his first thought is that Roy's undercover in Snowbirds. He can focus on being a good mentor to Speedy, which will have a trickle-down effect to being a good guardian to Roy, right?

Unfortunately, kids' brains don't work like that! Especially not a kid who's already lost two fathers. Roy needed a stability in his teenage years that Ollie just wasn't able to give at that time. He didn't see "Ollie's nice to me as Speedy because he loves me and doesn't know how to show it", he saw "Ollie's nice to me as Speedy, which means I'm only good as Speedy". This, at least in my opinion, is a major factor in Roy’s later self-esteem issues. Roy’s constantly underestimating himself as a hero, constantly comparing himself to Dick, and pushing himself 24/7 to improve because he internalised the idea that if he’s good, if he’s the perfect hero, then he’ll be loveable. He can’t be bad, he can’t fail, he can’t back down because if he does, he’s nothing.

It’s absolutely not Roy’s fault, but also this doesn’t mean that Ollie’s an evil neglecting abuser, either. Even the best parents fuck up, and Ollie was by no means the best parent. He took in Roy as a sidekick, as a buddy, and then never really found a way to combine the ideas of sidekick and son. He assumed that Roy would be able to interpret meanings behind gestures, which is something that Roy seems to struggle with even into adulthood. I’ve talked about it a fair bit, Roy’s absolutely someone who relies on the explicit, but he’s also not someone who’ll ask for clarification, which has caused conflict in his relationships time and time again. And while it's something he has gotten better at as he's gotten older, a 12-18 year old Roy would absolutely not be able to read Ollie's motives.

And Ollie's fear of fatherhood isn't something exclusive to Roy, either. Sure, he'd gotten better at it by the time Connor and Mia entered the picture (speaking as an oldest child myself, we are the guinea pigs of parenting, I was my mum's sibling), he absolutely still expresses this with them. I mean, just look at his face when he finds out Connor's his son.

That's the face of a man who's just had the crushing weight of parenthood slammed down onto him again, the moment Connor stopped being an ally and started being his responsibility. He's scared, because Ollie absolutely does not see himself as a good father for someone to have. This was very much present during Roy's teenage years, but particularly since this is post-Snowbirds. Both in terms of Roy developing a drug addiction and in terms of Ollie's own initial reaction to it, he immediately spirals. And, since we've already established he does not know how to process things, he lashes out at Connor.

And as for Mia, he's definitely matured significantly by the time she comes into the picture, and compared to with Roy he's a lot more open with his feelings. However!

He still won't explicitly accept the responsibility of fatherhood! Despite acting like a father to Mia in every way through his actions, he still won't use his words! Even though in the issue following, he expresses a paternal protectiveness over her.

And I think Mia's HIV diagnosis is maybe one of the biggest examples of his distancing himself and hiding his feelings, particularly when Connor asks him how he's feeling about it.

He's so fine, so totally fine, trust him when he says he's fine, totally not freaking out. He's absolutely not terrified for his not-daughter, no way.

Ollie has this fear that if he gets too attached to his kids, he's gonna end up failing them. If he keeps a distance from them, then he can't blame himself when they get hurt. Is this good parenting? No! Absolutely not! But this is also the man who dresses up as Robin Hood and who chose to die rather than lose his arm. This is not a healthy man.

But he tries, he tries so hard, even if it's in his own way. And he recognises when he fucks up! And he tries his best to mend it later on!

He's not the best at showing his kids that he loves them, but he's so proud of Roy when he becomes Red Arrow. He comes back to life to save Connor. He stands by Mia's side when she gets diagnosed and becomes Speedy. He's not a great dad, but goddamnit he's trying to be.

In conclusion, no, Ollie is not the perfect father. He's deeply flawed, and his own emotional incompetency has been and always will be a point of conflict between him and his kids. But he's not some uncaring abuser, either. He's trying.

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anyways, i'm not going to say tim is a paragon of sensitivity or anything, because he's not, but i do think the graysons' death is an area where he does actively try to at least be somewhat delicate and sensitive about discussing it.

batman #441

like he very much actively does not want to have to tell dick how he knows, and he's very apologetic that bringing it up is hurtful to dick.

secret origins 80 page giant

like honestly. this is actually a very neutral way of telling the story. very bare bones. "it was the best day of my life. then your parents died." which. is objectively true?? and tim is still very apologetic, especially when he realizes how he might be coming across. like. idk. obviously dick is the center of this tragedy, but it is fundamentally like. a super, super terrible and traumatizing thing for a child of indeterminate age (anywhere from 2-7) to witness a death, not just in general, but at a happy place like a circus. hell. it was fundamentally terrible for the adults at the circus to witness this death, bruce and jack and janet and every single person in that audience included. and while it's a little cringey that tim is narrating the worst day to dick's life to dick, this conversation only even came up because dick brought it up to begin with.

and at this point dick and tim have known each other for almost a decade in real time and have been explicitly written as brothers for probably about 4 years real time, so dick probably genuinely doesn't mind talking about this with tim. i do like the idea of how this probably progresses for dick over time. like, at first, dick is probably super, super annoyed at this thirteen year old kid who wormed his way into dick's personal tragedy but then as dick gets to know him and love him and that's his little brother now-

like how much it must crush dick (now that he knows and loves tim) that tim had to experience the same horrible thing that happened to dick and that dick's parent's death happening is what ended up bringing the two of them back together again eventually.

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dc tumblr is so funny bc i can make a post complaining about something in fanon and someone with a wfa pfp will reply and say "actually this is canon, see!" and then post screenshots from a new 52 book that they probably havent actually read

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gay people from 2003 >>>>>