disorderedlydaydreams

[disorderedlydaydreams]

Kanameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[disorderedlydaydreams]

a letter for berlin;

kaname kuran; vampire knight

previously

It's warm when you wake.

The kind of warmth that jellies your bones, caresses your face, whispers in your ear, just five more minutes, please.

Your head is buzzing.

Something smells delightfully pleasant and you burrow further into the cocoon of blankets you're swathed with.

Niggling in the back of your head is a feeling that something has changed.

Legs stretched out, you flutter your fingers and wiggle your toes. Everything accounted for.

So what's missing?

Opening your eyes, you come face-to-face with fire. You bolt up right, eyes wide. The flames that flickered atop the candles in your room were minute, incomparable to the inferno blazing in a crevice in the wall.

You watch, entranced, and the flames never once dare to creep outward. They stay inside the strange crevice, frolicking and dancing about. The perfume of burning wood and the comfort of the warmth set aflame to your heart and you came to love the fire. It's so strong, so powerful, but never dares overstep.

“—but Kaname, she's just a little girl!”

There he is, once again looming in a doorway.

Your angel.

By his side is a man of flaxen hair and jeweled eyes. He’s balancing three beautiful cups on a tray. They exchange a look, and then Kaname is on one knee by your side.

“You're finally awake. How are you feeling?”

The lush warmth in his voice has your lashes fluttering, and you whisper that you're fine with your eyes steadfast on the tips of your fingers as they twirl anxiously.

Kaname takes your hand. It kind of feels like fire.

You fall in love with the feeling.

“I know this is a lot for you to process. We've stolen you from everything you've ever known. You must be so frightened.”

Is that what the buzzing in your head was?

You couldn't name the emotions but you could feel them bubble within, stomach roiling as your mind raced further ahead than you could see.

The stranger sets the tray down by Kaname's side, stepping into your field of view. The scent of old books and something crisp follows him. He smiles kindly at you but his eyes were sad.

Why do they both have sad eyes when they look at you? Just like the Lady sometimes did.

“I want you to meet a friend of mine. This is Takuma Ichijou.”

“It's an honour to meet you, Berlin. I helped Kaname find you. You gave us quite a fright when you passed out.”

You lose the tail end of Takuma's greeting, hooked on the unfamiliar word.

“Berlin?”

The men looked at each other.

Takuma's tone is laced with hesitance as he asks, “That's your name, isn't it?”

Your breath catches in your throat. Your body jerks. Kaname's grasp becomes loose, but still gentle.

“I am just ‘girl’.” you whisper.

A name is a concept you'd daydreamed about. All the characters in your books had names. People with names had fantastic adventures.

Warm fingers wrap around your shaking hand and you make the mistake of meeting his eyes. It feels like he was looking through your skin, seeing parts of yourself you'd long since buried.

“You had a name, once. One given to you by your parents: Berlin. Those people tried to strip you of your identity, your legacy.” Laden with compassion, Kaname's voice was warm. You want to wrap yourself with his honey words and fall back asleep, but he says, “Those men are gone, now. You don't have to be The Girl in The Room anymore.”

You're not sure you know how to be anything else.

At some point, Takuma must have removed a cup from the tray because one of them sits cradled within his long fingers, you realise.

“You're not doing it alone,” he assures you. “We'll help you, along with everybody else. Anything you need, just say the word.”

You don't know how to need things.

Kaname moves, drawing your eyes once again. He, too, takes a cup. His thin, beautiful fingers curl around the golden handle, and gently, he urges it against your small palms. It's warm. It's heavy, too, when he takes his hands away. The liquid inside is a soft brown, almost orange.

“We'll start small. This is Egyptian chamomile, a tea brewed by steeping white chamomile flowers.” Kaname tells you, the warmth of his hands replaced with the drink. “Why don't you try it?”

You stare down at the cup, struck with the urge to press your face against it, to feel the warmth against your cheeks. In your peripheral, Takuma moves. You watch him bring his own cup to his mouth, the way he tilts it just so, the liquid spilling into his mouth. It's so graceful.

You copy his movements.

Tea wasn't an unfamiliar concept to you, but it was again, something that only existed in the books you'd read. The books hadn't prepared you for how sweet it tasted, floral on your tongue, dragging free the breath you hadn't realised you'd been holding.

“Good,” Kaname praised so sweetly it took all your effort to hold yourself together. “Once you finish, I'll call the girls to give you a bath. We have a meeting with the Headmaster tonight.”

ive been sitting on this for a while. sorry berlin

[disorderedlydaydreams]

Wake up, my love. Please.

[disorderedlydaydreams]

wags my stupid docked tail

[disorderedlydaydreams]

[disorderedlydaydreams]

a letter for berlin;

kaname kuran; vampire knight

platonic. caregiver.

cw: vampires / references to abduction / child neglect and abuse / blood trafficking

He's like a dream when he enters your room.

It's late. The Lady put you down for bed over an hour ago. You haven't been able to sleep, though. There's a strange tension in the air, as though the walls themselves are whispering. You tried telling the Lady but she'd dismissed your concerns with a stern “Growing girls need their sleep.”

Couldn't she couldn't feel it coming? The atmosphere was heavy, thick enough you could taste the incoming storm on your tongue. Having lived in the room all your life, you had no frame of reference for the feeling. You couldn't conceptualize the fear that locked your joints, choked the air in your lungs.

Until it's gone.

He's like a dream. Draped in white, his silhouette is golden from the light spilling into your darkened room. The terror was suddenly vacant from the room, as though his aura brought you back down to the ground.

“Who are you?” You ask him, your voice quivering.

The light turns on and you gasp for you realise this man is to be beheld. His eyes meet yours, russet pools of incomprehensible sorrow as he reaches his hand to you.

“My name is Kaname Kuran,” he tells you, his voice soft. “I'm here to rescue you.”

Extended hands have always resulted in things being taken from you. Never have you seen a hand reached in kindness.

“From what?” Shifting forward to take his hand, you felt golden rays of hope.

Your hand is so small in his.

“Those men. They take your blood, don't they?” 

Your body locks up. Eyes widen to the size of baby worlds.

“They need it,” you reassure him. “They're sick.”

He kneels down so that he's eye level with you, expression pinched, and so sad.

“No. They're not sick. You have very special blood, and they've been stealing it from you.”

Something inside your gut twists violently. His voice is silken in its sincerity. In the back of your mind, a voice whispered that you always knew something wasn't right. 

“You don't know how special you are, do you? You should be living like a princess, learning to harness your powers.”

Tipping forward, you reach for him, and he reaches for you. You're swept into his arms and taken away from your windowless cage. Nobody stops you. You fall asleep to the feeling of his fingers in your hair.

i've been watching a lot of the blacklist lately and the powerful caregiver has always been a big trope for me. i thought berlin would benefit a lot from that kind of dynamic.

i chose kaname because i thought he fit the profile perfectly. i never used to be a fan of the guy — in high school i actually started a kaname hate club lmao — but i rewatched it last year, and finally finished the manga + sequel and finally saw his charm.

i also chose him bc i know berlin has a fantasy abt fucking over a powerful man and old habits die hard lol

[disorderedlydaydreams]

🤍🩷 INTRO 🩷🤍

hey! how's it going? my name is mun (adult; they/them) and i tend to daydream a lot. reoccurring themes in my daydreams are parts of my system interacting with fictional characters in scenarios i think are either fun or healing. then i learned there's kind of a community for that? so i figured i'd share some of these daydreams here!

or i might just squeal about my lovely wife, vegeta (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)

just a warning that i will be covering some dark themes and heavy topics in my drabbles as they are an exercise in the exploration of self. read at your own discretion.

these drabbles are not exclusively romance/shipping, and will likely cover a range of platonic and familial roles.

Index:

Berlin: 1 / 2 / 3