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Let’s be real. His expense reports are widely known to be like this.

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With the knowledge that Vulcan has regularly high winds & subsequent sandstorms I propose a type of guy: midwestern dads watching tornadoes but for Vulcans. Somebody's uncle Sovar standing outside with his hands on his hips watching a massive cloud roll closer. Unconcerned because this happens, like, every couple of weeks. He's like "this one is large, is it not" yes it is go back inside Sovar

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we need to be doing everything in our power to acquire and consume tiramisu

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i had a dream that somebody's pet rabbit escaped and ran outside, so I agreed to help them find it. walking around in the dark, sure enough I found a rabbit with a coloration that was clearly domesticated, so I crept up and convinced it to let me pick it up, then brought it to the person. and they were like 'I've never seen this rabbit before in my life. did you just bring me some random wild animal you found on the ground??'

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no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.

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im completely losing it over this gif

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Sonic Racing Crossworlds is turning into Smash Bros Except Sonic Racing.

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Are you ready to party? SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star are joining the fun in Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds! Stay tuned for more exciting additions available as paid content. Pre-order now: RaceCrossWorlds.com

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check out the mourning doves’ new single “hooOOOO hoo hoo hoo” if you get the chance. sound of the summer.

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This is now the greatest Deltarune comment. I must share to the world.

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the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

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At least once a week I remind my cat that she doesn't like root beer, and every time she doesn't believe me until she gets bubbles up her nose. This has been going on since 2013.

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A term that occurred to me yesterday: "a Jennywhere", meaning any and all permutations of the character-names like. Jenny Everywhere, Jenny Nowhere, Jenny Anywhere, and so on

Probably includes variations like "Sophie Everytime", "Michael Wherever", "Bunny Everyhare", etc., although it might be a good idea to disambiguate if we allow it to mean either way.

(I should note that every single one of these characters is something someone actually came up with for Jenny Everywhere stories.)

The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

This concept is marked CC0 1.0