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[dreamypqulson]

oh god

[dreamypqulson]

the holidays have been crazy but i’m still HERE babes ;))

i think i’m gonna post a delia x reader fic very very soon i just don’t know what to writeee

[dreamypqulson]

actively growing a beard and 13 more inches in height as well as changing my legal name to hamish linklater

[dreamypqulson]

you are amazing!! i‘m so happy you‘re back but pls don‘t overwork yourself♥️♥️

awe thank you so much love!! <33

ur so sweet!🥺

[dreamypqulson]

YAY NEW FIC

❤️❤️❤️

[dreamypqulson]

— everything is icy and blue, and you would be there too

summary: cordelia knows you’ve been feeling down this holiday season so she brings the holiday cheer to you.

pairing: cordelia goode x reader

word count: 1100

warnings: mention of depression but it’s not a depressing fic :)

Cordelia walks into her bedroom that she shares with you. The room is dim and she can hardly see you bundled under a pile of blankets on the bed. You haven't got up at all today. At least she hasn't seen you get up. She's worried.

Christmas is your favorite holliday. Every year you outdo yourself; decorating, checking off every Christmas activity, and making sure Cordelia and all the girls at the academy are having a great holiday.

However, this year has been tough on you mentally. By now, the last month of this year, you're completely drained. You don't feel the Christmas magic like you do every year. Hell, you even forgot that it was December.

You don't want to do anything.

What's the point?

Cordelia walks over to the bed. She can see your eyes peaking out of the warm blankets, staring blankly at the ceiling as if you see something that she doesn't.

She sighs and lays down beside you, wrapping her arms around your waist without saying a word. You don't really want to talk. Cordelia knows that. So, instead, she lets her presence speak for itself. She's right here with you and if you feel like talking, you know you can talk to her.

It doesn't take you that long to finally say something. She misses your voice and hearing you ramble about the silliest stuff. To her dismay, you don't really sound like yourself and the only thing you have the energy to ask is, "Aren't you and the girls decorating?"

It's weak and brittle and sad, your voice, and it shatters Cordelia heart into a million pieces. "We finished a little bit ago," she says, "it didn't feel right without you."

A single tear rolls down your eye and it's on the opposite side that Cordelia's not on so luckily she doesn't see it. However, she hears you sniffling and her nurturing side quickly comes out.

Cordelia leans up on her elbow, looks down at you and frowns. You can't even look her in the eyes. "Oh, my baby," she cups your cheek and brushes away the tear with her thumb. Her hands are warm, but the comforting type of warm that makes your whole body ignite a cozy fire.

"You need some christmas cheer, sweetie," she whispers. And she's know; you both know, that it's not going to cure you, but god, she wish it would. It's enough to make you weakly giggle and she smiles at you with a sparkle in her eyes.

She leans down and kisses your pinkish lips and it's so gentle that it’s just so Cordelia. Her hand slides down your arm until she finds your hand and holds it. "Come on," she says, and tries to pull you out of bed, but you keep you weight down as much as you can.

"Delia, nooo. Where are we going?" You whine and try to take your hand back but she's so much stronger than you.

"You need to get in the Christmas spirit, missy!" She tries to drag you out again. She's winning; your body's halfway out of the bed and you’re struggling not to give in.

"Deliaaa. No!" You're not yelling at her, because she's too sweet to even be annoyed at. She's just trying to get you out of bed so you don't rot away, you know that.

"I'm not taking no for an answer right now." She's all smiley like it's the funniest thing in the world and she really thinks you're just the prettiest thing, even with your messy hair and stubborn attitude.

Somehow, Cordelia finally gets you onto your feet. You stand there with your arms crossed, looking completely unamused and trying to not to show her that you think she's seriously being really cute.

"Okay let's go, you have to see the tree that I put up!" She drags you down the stairs and you hoped that the other girls weren't around to see how awful you looked. And because you really aren't in the mood to speak to any other than your girlfriend.

Cordelia is just easy to be around in your hardest times. She just understands you and she's so soft and gentle.

The staircase had tinsel and lights wrapped around it. It looked beautiful, she was always good at decorating. The entire downstairs was decorated and you felt a little pain of sadness knowing that Cordelia had to do all of this without you.

You finally get to the living room. The huge yearly Christmas tree is right in the corner, glowing with gold lights and an assortment of ornaments from you, Cordelia and the other girls throughout the years hanging on the branches.

One ornament that catches your attention hangs on the very front in the middle. It's a ceramic wreath with a picture of Cordelia kissing your cheek. You got it made for Cordelia last year. You feel tears building up in your eyes, and thanks to the bright lights, they so obviously glimmer.

Cordelia looks over at you to catch your reaction. It almost brings her to tears too. "Oh honey—"

"It's beautiful, Cordelia," you say, and swallow the lump in your throat. You look over at your girlfriend to meet her eyes and you smile. For the first time in a while you genuinely smile.

"Thank you, my sweets. But it's missing something." There's that mischievous smirk again. You questionably raise your eyebrow at her and she walks over to the bin of extra decorations that she has yet to put away.

She pulls out the big yellow star that has been put on that tree for longer than she's been alive. "I just couldn't do this part without you."

You want to cry. You're going to cry. But you cannot keep wearing like this so you choke the tears back and smile.

"Oh Cordelia—"

Cordelia can clearly see how emotional you're getting. With her free hand, she tucked your hair behind your ear, smiling at you. "Shh. I know. It's okay." She didn't want you to hold back any of your emotions. She was a completely safe person to be emotional around. "Here, I’ll hold you so you can reach. Okay?"

You nodded at her and she handed you the star. You walked up to the tree that was way taller than you. You felt her strong arms grip your waist and your feet lifting effortlessly off the ground.

"Don't drop me," you said, jokingly as you leaned a little bit forward to stick it into the very top of the tree. It was a quick and simple move, and once you were back on your feet, you were still in her arms, your face mere inches away from hers.

"I'll never drop you,"  she whispered so quietly and leaned forward to kiss you. You giggled into it like a teenager in love. She made everything feel okay again and somehow brought back that Christmas spirit. "How about you get comfy and put on a Christmas movie? I'll make us some hot chocolate, my love."

[dreamypqulson]

new fic tomorrow 🥳

[dreamypqulson]

Sarah Paulson photographed by Erik Carter for Garden and Gun magazine Dec2023 Jan2024 edition.

Credit: Sarahpaulsbean on Instagram

[dreamypqulson]

i have a huge crush on her

[dreamypqulson]

sarah paulson as cordelia goode in ahs: apocalypse like or reblog if you use

[dreamypqulson]

I genuinely adore your writing so much :( You're insanely talented <3 I'm so glad you're writing again 🫶

sobbing!!! thank you sm this means the world to me and more! 🥺🫶

[dreamypqulson]

i LOVED your new fic, omg i’ve missed you and your talented writing so much

awe thank you so much ml !! this means sm to me🥺 <33

[dreamypqulson]

Hi :) i love your writing and was hoping you could do one wear Cordelia finds out y/n is sh on her thigh? Or something <3

— my love, mine all mine

pairing: cordelia goode x reader

word count: 1500

warnings: self harm & depression

note: i got this request during my break so it’s a little old but i still wanted to write it cause it fits with my life right now!!!

You stared blankly at your bloody thigh in front of you. With the blade still grasped in your hand you tried to breathe in, and hold for five seconds, and then let it all out. It would help they told you. It would take away the misery until you didn't feel like hurting yourself anymore.

But you laughed a little as you watched the blood drip. It felt good and that was the worst part. You wanted to keep going. You almost did. You wanted the thoughts to shut up for a minute. But right as the blade lightly touched your flesh, there was a knock at the door.

And it snapped you out of it for a minute. Really, how long were you sitting on the cold bathroom floor for? Had anyone really noticed your absence or do they just need to get into the bathroom?

"Mhm?" You hummed, shaky but nonetheless clear.

"Are you okay, darling? You disappeared on me." Right as you heard that sweet familiar voice, you bounced off of the floor. Frantically, you grabbed a tissue and applied pressure to the broken skin after hiding the blade in the back of the cabinet.

"Yeah, sorry. I'll be out in a minute."

Cordelia didn't know about what was going on. Of course, she knows you struggle with mental health, but she'd hadn't yet found out about your legs. And you weren't planning on telling her.

By the way that you spoke, she felt like something was wrong. And, naturally, she wouldn't back down. She needed to help you with whatever was wrong.

"Can I come in?" She jiggled the doorknob but it was locked. You don't ever lock doors.

The blood leaked through the thin tissue and you cursed under your breath. You couldn't clean up with a wash cloth right now. You wouldn't have enough time to hide the evidence.

You looked up at the door and your blood ran cold. Answer her! You have to answer her before she comes in!

You pulled your sweatpants back up and flushed away the bloody tissues down the toilet so she couldn’t see them in the trash. "I'm coming," you said, and at this point, you were out of breath from the verge of a panic attack.

You opened the door and Cordelia's eyes widened. You were clearly frantic and you tried so hard to not cringe at the feeling of your pants rubbing against your raw cuts.

"Are you okay?" She asked again, but now she's more suspicious. You just nod your head and walk right by her. She follows you as you throw yourself on the bed.

Something doesn't feel right to her, but she tries to make it better by laying beside you and kissing you. You started to giggle looking over at her and for a moment, you completely forget about everything that just happened. She does too.

It isn't until she looks down that her eyes widen. And you're always so cautious about getting caught that your heart immediately drops.

"Why are you bleeding?" She asks, and sits up. You sit up too, and that's when you notice the patch of crimson on your thigh. Of course you'd just happen to be wearing grey sweatpants.

"Shit," you angrily curse, and start to get up off the bed. "I'm not sure. I'll go check it out though."

You try to head towards the bathroom but Cordelia grabs your arm so you can't move. You're fucked and you know it. "No, y/n. Why are you bleeding? Do not lie to me."

You always want Cordelia when you're injured or sick, so it was unusual for you to go run off. And after you acting strange in the bathroom, she was starting to think that she knew what is going on.

"I'm not lying, Cordelia! Are you serious right now?" Your voice raised slightly, going into a defensive mode, but Cordelia was quick to calm you.

"Hey, shh, shh. None of that. Just be honest with me, sweetie, i'm not mad." She reached up and cupped your cheek. Your lip started to tremble and you couldn't hold back the waterfall of tears. You couldn't bring yourself to tell her. "Are you hurting yourself?" She asks gently.

All you do is nod, and the waterworks stream heavier down your face. You simply shatter and Cordelia wraps her arms around you like she's trying to hold every piece of you together. "Oh, my baby. Okay, shh. It’s okay," the blonde cooes in your ear, rubbing calming circles into your back.

Her warm arms and floral scent keeps you grounded. You feel safe. Maybe it is okay.  "Do you want to talk about it, my lovely? Or no?"

You shake your head. You're too tired, and you don't feel like explaining everything. It's too much, too heavy, and you feel too weak.

"Okay. That's okay. Can I at least clean them for you? I don't want my girl getting an infection."

For once you speak up a quiet, "yes that's okay," and it hurts but you know that you’re being too nonresponsive already and you feel like a lot of work right now.

Cordelia grabs your hand and brings you back into the bathroom. She waits for your permission with her fingers resting on the waistband of your sweatpants. She'd wait here forever until you were ready. But you feel like you’ve already wasted so much of her time.

You nod your head and then Cordelia starts to slide your pants down your legs and you want her to stop. You want to take your permission back but you can't seem to talk. You can't seem to do anything and, god, you feel like you can't even breathe.

She doesn't gasp when she sees your bloody thigh. Her face doesn't contort into disgust. She looks so soft and gentle and you wonder how someone could be so pure enough to love someone like you.

She lifts you onto the bathroom counter. You don't even notice that you moved at first.

And even as Cordelia was looking straight at the bloody cuts, you still felt the need to lie and tell her that you weren't hurting actually yourself. It didn't feel real. Almost like you were shoved into another persons body with all of these scars and hurt on it.

You notice Cordelia looking at your whole thigh, how she can see all the old scars there. It hurts the most for her to see recent ones. Ones she can tell have been from the past weeks, even days, and she had absolutely no clue about it until now.

"I want you to tell me, my love," she says, so softly, and smiles gently too like she's not talking about you hurting yourself. "Okay? Whenever you feel like this, come to me, baby."

You nod simply, like it's the easiest task in the world. But you're not sure that you'll be able to even do that. You can see the pain and worry on Cordelia's face beneath that smile, and you don't want to hurt her anymore.

She grabs your hand, holds it there tightly. She knows you always like to hold it when you're upset or nervous, or even when you get shots at the doctors. She doesn't need to tell you that you're allowed to squeeze it; you already know you can.

Cordelia dabs away the blood with a wet cloth. It sends a sting throughout your entire body. You squeeze her hand and bite your lip hard enough to draw blood. All Cordelia can say is, "I know, I know, baby. I'm sorry. I'm almost done." And you wonder why she's apologizing. I did this. I brought this on myself. It's my fault.

Cordelia gently applies some antiseptic to your cuts and then she adds some band-aids on top. They're not the boring tan ones either. They're colorful and it even puts a smile on your face because it's such a Cordelia thing to do.

"There we go. All better," she says, as if cutting yourself wasn't the scariest thing in the world for her. But right now it is all better. You're bandaged up and Cordelia is holding your hand and smiling at you. Right now you don't hurt as much.

She leans forward and places a kiss on your nose. You crinkle it up and giggle at her. "You're so pretty, ya know." And it's not a question. She's not asking if you know that you're pretty. Because she knows that you really don't think you are. Especially not like this. But it doesn't matter right now. She just needs you to know that she thinks it so then it has to be true.

You're gonna cry again because your heart feels so tender, but then Cordelia is talking again and you get lost away in her voice. "How about we go have some hot cocoa by the fire? You feel like a little icicle." She says it like nothing has changed. Like she hadn't just found out that you're really a danger to yourself.

And you nod because you're still the same person you were to her thirty minutes ago. You still love cuddling her by the fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate that she made you. That hasn't changed, neither has her love for you.

[dreamypqulson]

Cordelia: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Misty: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Cordelia: That one. I want that one.

[dreamypqulson]

“I knew you for such a short time and I’ve missed you forever”

It is and always will be one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard.

[dreamypqulson]

[dreamypqulson]

misty day would learn how to make this and then it would be her lockscreen, homescreen, profile picture on every platform, and delia’s contact photo

poor cordelia would be so embarrassed but act like she loves it😭