dustin-the-great-ii-blog - Tumblr blog

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-Suicide letters from Anne sexton

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Shout out to the people who never had a safe place. Who didn’t have a before trauma. Who were loved but not protected. Who were collateral damage in someone else’s breakdown. Who got fucked up so young that they’ll never know who they could have been.

Shout out to people who’ve never felt safe. I hope you do someday.

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Your head will hurt, your body will ache, probably most of the time. Just know that once you’re skinny, none of it will matter anymore. You need to stay miserable for a bit in order to earn the happiness later.

-ana coach

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shooting myself in the back of the head so my suicide looks suspicious and i waste everyones time

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“You attract what you fear” AHHH I’m so scared of losing 30lbs ahhhhh scary help

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Time always exposes what you mean to someone.

Unknown

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SOS!

I need a team of soldiers to help me lose the 20lb I gained over break. I thought I wanted recovery and I don't. I'm on a 500 diet for the next 10 weeks but I need genuine help from others who are losing weight, not gaining it. Talking to people who aren't doing well in their goals isn't helping me. Comment if I should send a message, or just send me one!

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REMEMBER

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New rules:

Beverages: <10 cal. Examples: Vitamin Water, Propel, Diet soda.

No bread. No candy except dark chocolate. No chips/cookies/binge foods in the house.

Healthy binge foods! : shrimp, carrots and dip, berries/grapes and whip, sugarfree applesauce, cream and broth soups, etc.

Better dinner options: fish and rice, trimmed steak and veggies, soup with high protein, salad + a protein.

Grocery List Replacements: salad, cucumber, tomato, carrots, blue cheese crumbles (to replace needing dressing) shrimp, fish, cold veggies, sushi, chicken breast, sugar-free applesauce, sugar free candy, sugar free lollipops.

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New Goal!

June 1st!

March 1st: 149

April 1st: 139

May 1st: 134

June 1st: 129

And then I'll be back on track to getting to my 119 goal! Please wish me luck so I stop binging! I've stayed in the 150s for months now after gaining 20 pounds back of my weight loss!

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Binge-free Benefits (the real shit)

- Hearing my ex's girlfriend who won't leave me alone complain to him that I'm "too skinny" ✨

- My parents worried about me for once

- cheaper living expenses w/o needing to buy lots of groceries 🥯🍕🧀🍞

- clearer skin from taking vitamins and drinking so much water 💦

- looking perfect in every pair of jeans I try on 👖

- No farting 😂 🍑💨

- feeling powerful and in control 👑

- getting my friend's hand me downs that are too small on them but fit me perfectly 👕

- more energy running up and down the stairs at college🏃🏃🏃

- less need for purging🙃

- clothes I have will fit better💃

- less sweating because I won't get hot and have K go "oh dear so sensitive and get cold so easily compared to you, etc. 🥵

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Jeżeli będzie mało to i tak zrobię więcej 💕

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I feel this so much. My ex made me feel shitty about so many things, and we're still friends now sort of but I love being smaller than him now. I'm terrified of gaining weight and weighing more than him again.

every time I lose weight I imagine it goes to my ex that triggered my ed back while they were in an active ed and I was in recovery. They've recovered but I love seeing the effects of them having to learn to love themselves at a bigger size while they've been small their entire life

is this horrible? I don't care, I would've still been in recovery at this point if they hadn't.