dyaniepants

[dyaniepants]

Is it so bad to just want to be feminine after a lifetime of having to be both? I just want to be taken care of too.

[dyaniepants]

Imagine living as long as this to just now realize you’re worth all of it. You are the Universe. And still sit and wait to figure out what it all means.

It’s like trying to make sense of nonsense.

I want some ice cream.

[dyaniepants]

That moment you realize your twin flame is your biggest karmic test 👀

[dyaniepants]

If you expect others to accept you just as you are, you must learn to accept them just as they are, as well. If you find that there is something about someone that is unacceptable to you but you love them deeply, you either radically accept them and come to terms with your discomfort or you honor them and let them go.

[dyaniepants]

I’m grateful to be learning how to give myself the love I crave and long for from others

[dyaniepants]

Hey, just wanted to say I’m really behind your campaign! You should totally reach out to Emmanuel —he’s seriously awesome. he helped a friend of mine raise over $500K in just two weeks. I really think he could be the boost you need to hit your goal

https://Fiverr.com/emmanuel_para

Thank you!!

[dyaniepants]

Please help if you can…

[dyaniepants]

[dyaniepants]

“I will not beg you for your time or try to convince you to choose me, the world is too big and I have too much to offer.”

— Unknown

[dyaniepants]

“Some words stay in your head long after they’re spoken.”

— Robin Roe

[dyaniepants]

I don’t know who needs to hear this today…

Remember your happy memories hold them fondly

Also remember, but don’t dwell in, the reason why you left

Don’t use those memories as an excuse to reenter a toxic relationship

It’s OK to remember the toxic people we loved with love, it’s not OK to let them keep hurting us

If no one else tells you today, I love you

[dyaniepants]

I honestly think survival is art and it’s pure form before we knew how to write draw any of that survival was really all there was



[dyaniepants]

Who ever said survival itself isn’t art?

[dyaniepants]

I’m kinda pathy. Some might call me pathive aggressive

[dyaniepants]

Ask your doctor if the medicine they’re getting kick-backs for is right for you…

May cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, coma or suicidal thoughts or tendencies and in some severe cases, even death, but don’t read the fine print before the funds have cleared the pharmaceutical company’s account to your doctor.

Your health is our only concern.

[dyaniepants]

Putting Out the Twin Flame

One woman’s journey from Atheist Victim to Awakened Alchemist

How many times do I need to start this story to tell it the right way—the way that will make an impact and help someone?

Every time I begin, I bore myself to tears and think, “Why would anyone want to listen to this whiny bitch who keeps telling the same stories over and over?” Then I wonder how I can tell it differently, without sugarcoating it or pretending everything is perfect.

How do you find the balance between victim and sovereign when you’ve spent your entire life believing you were the former?

I’m here to tell you: I woke up.

I don’t know why, and I don’t know how.

The story I used to tell is that my “Twin Flame” found me again and showed me the light—but the truth is, after rereading old journals and doing the inner work, I see the signs were there long before he came back. I was already on my way to realizing that I am made of unconditional love. I am pure divine light.

The problem was, I was still an atheist at the time—so stubborn in my beliefs that I couldn’t see another way. Ironically, it was my people-pleasing tendencies that made me open my mind long enough to hear him speak about a path I hadn’t known existed.

If you’re on the Twin Flame path, it likely means you value relationships with your loved ones as though they are the most sacred things in the universe. And in a way, they are. But what we don’t always realize is that there’s always a third presence in that equation: the Universe.

There’s the Universe, your loved one, and you.

We pour so much energy into others that we forget to value ourselves—first. This path often includes someone you feel so deeply connected to that it consumes you from the inside out, even when you try to suppress it. It’s not just love; it’s obsession masked as destiny. And that can be dangerous.

Especially during “separation,” the Twin Flame journey can feel like being trapped in a one-sided toxic relationship. But the relationship isn’t really with them—it’s with yourself. You’re fighting internally, in a constant loop of believing someone else completes you.

But only you can complete you.

It’s weird at first—to speak your truth to someone instead of hiding it. But learning to let the truth out instead of letting it live inside you like a parasite? That’s one of the rawest and most powerful gifts you can give yourself.

⸻

I wasn’t raised in a religious household. My mom came from strict Catholic roots, but abandoned her religion as soon as she could. My dad’s family didn’t have much of a spiritual foundation, especially after they lost his father when they were teenagers.

My mom always said God is real and good and doesn’t punish you for your sins. As long as you treat people right, you’re loved by God. But we didn’t go to church. I can count on both hands the number of times I’ve ever stepped into one.

After my parents split, I lost all belief in a higher power. I used that to rationalize all the bad in the world. I wanted to prove you could live with kindness and compassion without needing religion. That morality could be a choice, not a mandate.

It wasn’t until the spring of 2024 that something changed. I still don’t believe in organized religion—I think much of it is about power and control—but I have felt Spirit inside me. I’ve felt pure light burst out of my soul. And since then, I’ve struggled with how to keep that light alive while facing fear, doubt, and the reality that I’ve viewed most of my life through the wrong lens.

Jesus is still the most famous man in the world, at least from my perspective—and he’s been dead for centuries. I believe he was a human, just like me and you, but he was told his whole life he was the Son of God.

If we were all told we were divine from birth, wouldn’t we all try to spread love too?

There’s a difference between believing you can sin and “give it all to Christ” vs. embodying Christ consciousness and using your power to guide others toward love. Those who live that way—the ones like him—are the game-changers. And also, the ones most targeted by systems of power.

If humanity truly believed we are all children of God, what good would money be? Steel? Fuel? Commodities born from our manipulation of Mother Gaia’s gifts? We trade our time, energy, and soul for man-made systems that keep us forgetting who we are.

If we could talk to the dead—Jesus, Lincoln, JFK, Malcolm X, MLK Jr.—what would they want us to remember? Lucky for us, they left evidence of what they stood for. And yet we still look away.

Consciousness is a gift and a burden.

If you don’t stand in your values, it will eat you alive.

⸻

I’ve spent the past year trying to speak my truth and co-create with the Universe. I’m still unsure if my message is landing. I have strong values and stronger opinions—sometimes, unshakably so. I’ve ended lifelong relationships. I’ve spoken truths that lived inside me for years just to give the darkness back to who it belongs to.

I could write volumes about that—but I don’t think it’s the whole message I’m meant to share.

I know what my values are, and yet… I still violate them. That’s what keeps me looping—second-guessing myself, doubting every step. Even while repeating, “You are exactly where you’re meant to be. The Universe is guiding you. You are divinely protected.”

Every moment offers a thousand choices:

What to wear.

What to eat.

Say the thing? Stay silent?

Watch another YouTube video or go outside and breathe?

We are energy in motion. Change is constant. We will never stop evolving.

The only thing I fear now is the unknown—and the ridicule that might come from those who don’t mirror my poetic nature. But I can’t control that. The Universe will sort it.

And to potential trolls: do your best.

My fear is rooted in the guilt I’ve carried from being bullied—and from the bullying I dished out when I was too hurt to know better. That fear will only pass if I face it. I refuse to pretend it doesn’t exist.

⸻

I’ve always felt disconnected from my femininity.

I wasn’t the “pretty girl” type dripping with sex appeal, and I resisted my mom’s attempts to pass on her feminine traits. I wasn’t comfortable talking about bodies or desires—especially after another family member taught me that my femininity was something men could take without asking.

That broke something sacred inside me.

And I learned quickly: hide what’s sacred. Keep secrets. Don’t speak unless you’re sure it’s safe.

Girly girls made me uncomfortable. Their conversations felt silly, shallow. When I spoke deeply, I was made to feel weird. Different. So I learned to mask.

Because more than anything, I wanted to fit in.

⸻

My mission is to reach the women who were lied to their entire lives.

The ones who were told they could be fairy princesses, but only in a world that doesn’t respect softness. In a world that demands we match masculine energy just to be taken seriously.

You can’t simply be a doctor, lawyer, architect, accountant. You have to fight harder. Endure more. Laugh off bad behavior. Pretend it doesn’t bother you—just to survive.

This past year, I’ve been grappling with the hell I’ve put myself and my body through to make others proud—while secretly feeling like I was betraying myself. Not just by chasing someone else’s dream, but by tolerating the toxic jokes and cruelty of people trying to fit in themselves.

Even when I didn’t participate, I knew my silence made me small.

⸻

This story is just the precipice of where I’m headed.

I don’t believe in one perfect twin soul. I believe every person we connect with, learn from, and grow beside is a soulmate—whether romantic or not.

I find love in hate. Hate in love. Good in bad. Bad in good.

Einstein was right: it’s all relative. Everything waxes and wanes, ebbs and flows. Yin and yang.

Each day I wake up is another chance to learn, to give, to treat myself and those around me a little better than the day before.

I’m learning to live in the now.

And to let go.

⸻

I want my sharing to be a space for those who are awakening and scared.

Because I was scared, too.

When Spirit took over my world, I thought I was going crazy. I didn’t know what “let go of what no longer serves you” meant. Or “do it with intention.” I had to look everything up. Some things I still don’t get. Some I’ve learned and relearned a dozen times.

Sometimes I want to save the world.

Sometimes I want to run to the mountains and never speak again.

⸻

But I want my voice to move mountains—for those who’ve never had the chance to speak.

For those who’ve been silenced by fear, shame, or rejection.

For those who’ve been in rooms where “cool” people made racist or demeaning jokes, and no one said a word.

I want to show it’s okay to be different.

It’s okay to not fit in.

Humanity isn’t a puzzle to be solved.

It’s consciousness in motion.

We’re all magnetized to the same rock, under the same sky, spinning through the same universe.

We’re not as different as we claim to be.

We’re just given different circumstances.

What we do with them—that’s what makes the difference.

So in a world where you can make it heaven or hell…

Will you choose love, or will you choose hate?

⸻

If this message reached you—if it stirred something inside you or left you with questions—please know you’re not alone. I want to connect with you. I want you to feel safe asking anything that’s on your heart. There’s no shame in being unsure. There’s no fear in curiosity here.

Reach out. Ask. Share. Let’s learn together.

[dyaniepants]

I think one of the most frustrating things in the world for me is that I want to see the world through everybody else else’s eyes, but I’ll never be able to