egotisticaleverything

[egotisticaleverything]

HEEEEELLLLLOOOOO SAILOR

YOU CAN SWAB MY DECK ANY TIIIIIME GOOD GAWWWWD

[egotisticaleverything]

Thinking about pegging foggy nelson again….

Hashtag relapsed 🙏

[egotisticaleverything]

Lazy morning sex with foggy…. My brian is short circuiting…..

His breath is so hot against your neck, his hand sliding down to spread your legs further —“just a lil’ wider for me sweetheart…”— his cock is already sliding inside you so perfectly, just slowly enough to give you the perfect time to adjust to the stretch. His hand slowly slinking under your shirt as he begins his slow, lazy thrusts, hitting just the right spots and causing soft moans to escape from your throat. His hand cupping one of your breasts, squeezing and kneading it as he murmurs against your neck.

“Thaaaats it pretty girl…. Mmph…”

“So gorgeous… my god…”

Whispering softly as his hips roll slowly, hitting that perfect spot inside of you, over and over. His hand sliding back down between your legs to rub tight circles on your clit in tandem with his thrusts. Holding you close as you cum around his cock, coaxing you through it so sweetly— so perfectly.

Ouuurghhh I’m ILL…..

[egotisticaleverything]

John walker is bisexual guys he actually told me himself so everyone can stop arguing now 💕💕

[egotisticaleverything]

Adding onto the common HC I’ve been seeing of John being the group cook — he is DEFINITELY the “get the fuck out of my kitchen while I’m cooking” type of person, like you walk in to get a glass of water and he is like “fuck off no I WILL get you water do not DISTURB my cooking. Here. Now LEAVE.”

I like to think he’s mainly like that cuz he likes to solely focus on what he’s doing, and alot of the others end up commenting or asking too many questions — this kinda feeds into my undiagnosed OCD/Autism HC for John — and it’s just annoying and overwhelming. But not Bob. Bob is allowed to stay.

John has declared Bob can stay because he is — as John puts it — “a respectful spectator”. Which started as Bob sitting in the common area near the kitchen doing whatever while John cooked, then slowly migrating over to the opposite side of the kitchen island. Then that evolved into Bob randomly saying little tidbits of how his day was and then it ended with Bob just coming in to yap about whatever while John cooks while replying ever so often but mostly just letting him talk.

John now finds a strange sense of comfort in his rambling and everyone else is like “why can he stay and we can’t” and John is like “cuz he’s Bob and you’re not.” And Ava teases him RELENTLESSLY for it like — “oooh someone’s playing favourites” and John just tells her to fuck off cuz in all honesty, he IS playing favourites.

[egotisticaleverything]

I fucking hate fandom in 2025 cuz every second post I see is just some shit like

“UNFOLLOW ME IF YOU INTERACT WITH [insert user/ship/fanwork] IT IS PROMOTING [insert some puritanical low key conservative buzzword] AND IF YOU INTERACT WITH IT YOU WILL DIE AND GO TO HELL BECAUSE YOU ARE [insert some form of bigotry]”

And then it’s like.. normal smut.. maybe with some pet play or smth slightly kinky

[egotisticaleverything]

Lewis Pullman now do I have the role for you

alright i give. give me some one shots you FILTHY animals are searching for 💅💅

[egotisticaleverything]

The beard is doing things to me that I’m not ready to admit.

[egotisticaleverything]

I don’t want to fuck Daniel Blake………..………………. BUT THE PARASITES IN ME WANT HIM…. ALLLLLLL because of Michael Gandolfini’s pretty boy FACE and STUPID pretty eyes…….

[egotisticaleverything]

I like to think that in college Foggy would sing show tunes when he thought he was alone in the dorm but got caught by Matt one too many times and gave up trying to hide it. So Matt would be studying and then he’d randomly hear:

“The only thing better than hairsprayyyyyy- THATS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

from the next room over.

And after getting caught with the sea shanties by Karen in the office also gave up hiding his musical tendencies there, and breaks into song at random intervals throughout the day. And both Matt and Karen have almost dropped their coffee due to one of his sudden outbursts of theatre kid-ness.

Like Karen’s trying to pour a cup of coffee and then she’s interrupted by-

“It’s HARD to be the Bard BABYY-!!”

In a terribly fake British accent from the room over and almost jumps 6 feet in the air.

He’s also attempted the defying gravity riff many times with varying levels of success. Most of which were fails.

[egotisticaleverything]

hey so for reasons can you please tag me whenever you end posting that daniel smut cause 🤭🤭🤭

Heheheh well I HAVE just posted it and you can find it HERE !!! It’s short but I’ll write more in the future so send thoughts/requests if you have any!! :)

[egotisticaleverything]

Storage Closet - Daniel Blake

A/N: I saw this pathetic little man in the first ep of DDBA and KNEW I needed to fuck him.

Warning/contains: Oral (F reviving), Subby Daniel, coworkers to fuck buddies ‘lovers’, office sex-kinda?, sex in a storage closet, cumming in pants (Daniel is pathetic), NOT proof read.

Word Count: 450

Daniel Blake is one of the most overconfident, cocky, assholes you’ve ever met. But his entire self worth relies on the opinions of others. Creating this… odd dynamic between you two. His attitude and incessant need for your approval mixed with your pure distain for his entire personality was enough to drive everyone around you insane.

Your constant bickering and inability to have a conversation without talking in circles was genuinely one of the worst things about the day to day in that office. But somewhere between your arguments you ended up with his face stuffed between your thighs, your back propped up against shelving in a random hallway broom closet as he devoured you.

“So… fuckin good…” Daniel groaned, muffled agains you as he attempted to catch his breath slightly before your hand met his hair, tugging him back against your needy wetness as you muttered-

“Shut up…” you manage to get out between jagged breaths, barely above a whisper. Feeling him groan against you as you tug at his hair, further ruining his already dishevelled appearance- a problem neither of you seemed to care about as he delved back into you with what seemed like carnal desperation.

His free hand pawing at your thighs and ass as the other slides down, peeling his face away as he slides two fingers into your dripping cunt. His mouths attention now fully on your clit, desperate and puffy as he licks and sucks at it, small whines escaping him as he does. Your back arches up further, grip tightening around his brunette locks as he draws you closer and closer to your impending orgasm. Curling his fingers into just the right way to send you over the edge.

“Fuck Danny I’m gonna-“ You attempt to warn before your orgasm crashes over you, your body writhing with pleasure as you grind up into Daniel’s face, desperate for more stimulation as his fingers and mouth continue to work you through your climax. Your tugs at his hair doubling in roughness, causing him to let out a broken moan, his movements stuttering for a moment before slowing and stopping completely as you come down from your high.

As Daniel finally peels himself away from your heat, lowering you down- both of you still shaking from the encounter -you look down, noticing a small wet patch on the crotch of his pants, causing his face to turn bête red.

“I think I got a- uhh… little carried away…” He chuckles, trying to seem nonchalant but failing miserably as he looks up at you with almost pathetic doe eyes, causing you to let out a breathy laugh.

“Clearly.”

[egotisticaleverything]

HEAVY SIGH. I’m OPENING my notes app.

alright, which one of you are gonna write something filthy about this man? i’m waiting

[egotisticaleverything]

Foggy Thoughts - Choking?

A/N: This is basically just me whoring out. No plot. No brains. No nothing. Just porn. I want to fuck this man, plain and simple. Enjoy.

Foggy never really thought much of many kinks to be honest, he was always a quite vanilla guy. Not completely stale and boring - hell no. - sex with him was anything BUT. He could make you scream and writhe under him more than you even thought possible. But one day when he subconsciously places his hand around your throat while 7 and 1/2 inches deep in you — it awoke something.

Seeing your eyes roll back, your body arch up, your hips shift slightly in pure desperation… Something he didn’t know was even in him just appeared. And you had never had a better fuck in your life. He was relentless. You swore his stamina went up my tenfold. He was just ploughing into you like he never had before — he was fucking feral.

The way the bed creaked with every almost violent thrust, mixed with your collective noises — you could only pray the neighbours weren’t home because it did not seem like it was stopping anytime soon.

[egotisticaleverything]

More smutty foggy thoughts coming soon

That is indeed a threat

[egotisticaleverything]

I’m gonna speak my truth for a second and yall gotta promise not to judge me..

I NEED to peg him.

[egotisticaleverything]

bro FOGGYYYYYY MY BELOVEDDD pls. i can imagining getting Foggy all flustered w casual flirtatious remarks. sometimes, u will sneak in little comments about how cute he looks when he’s panicking or try to get him to say something awkward just to see his face go red. foggy, in return, has this really endearing habit of trying to act cool, but he fails miserably every time, making him even cuter to u…very inspired by that “calling foggy the cute one” post u made. in bed, i can imagine him being kinda subby tbhhhh, he’s gripping onto ur hips as ur bent over, stretched out on his thick cock but u have full control of what’s happening😵‍💫 he honestly can’t believe he’s fucking you and wonders how he got into this predicament

AUGHHHH SO REAL- Him desperately pawing at your ass and hips, literally incoherent besides a few “I love you”s and “so good”s… I can just imagine him letting out the prettiest whines every time you tell him how well he’s doing or how good he’s making you feel.

He’s also SUCH a giver he just wants to make you feel good so bad. he’s the type of guy to eat you out for HOURS. (Probably ask you to sit on his face too) This man is an absolute MUNCH. He loves your thighs to so having them squeeze around his head when your close/cumming is HEAVEN for him. He’s willing to suffocate down there.

I have so many more thoughts but…… those will be for another time so STAY TUNEDDD!!!