elfie-eats - Tumblr blog

[elfie-eats]

my biggest regret: i ran a pro-ana blog.

i haven't posted to tumblr in years but i just needed to get it off my chest.

i used to have an ed account with THOUSANDS. of followers and it is my biggest regret.

yes, i was 15 and in the grips of an ed and didn't really understand the magnitude of what i was doing but then again, how fucking stupid was that. there was some good within it; giving myself and my followers a safe space to talk and vent about our problems, i had a lot of online friends i spoke to daily which was refreshing as i had very little friends in the real world. However, accounts and platforms like that never end well and it usually becomes a breeding ground for triggering posts, tips, grooming and toxic relationships cemented in active ed behaviours.

i hate the pr0 ed community.

when I ran this account at FIFTEEN years old, I was contacted by multiple people claiming to be "pr0 ana coaches"; the best way to describe them, they are self-proclaimed mentors that would help you stay motivated and on track to hitting your 'ugw' by telling you what to eat, when to eat, and by sending you abusive comments about your weight and how fat you were, which is pretty much a dream come true to a fifteen year old with an eating disorder.

all you had to do was update them daily with your weight, stats, and send half, sometimes full nude photographs to these people who would often disguise themselves as other teenage girls, when in fact they were typically grown men over the age of 21.

i personally got tricked by these 'coaches' and realised after seeing a mutual follower at the time talk about their experience. When I had confronted the coach, they had threatened me and told me they would leak the photos and contact my parents. i was so scared, i couldn't stop crying and i thought my entire life was over.

i deleted my account immediately; though looking back i wish i would have reported it to the police or at least tumblr. i had no idea what i was supposed to do in that situation and i was terrified of getting into trouble.

these men are probably still out there getting child p0rn off vulnerable, mentally ill minors who are not thinking clearly.

if there are any minors that read this post; and have similar experiences, please report them and keep yourself and others safe!

i am in active ed recovery now and i have a heck of a long way to go but it's worth it. i have a very beautiful life ahead and my eating disorder is the least interesting thing about me. i wish i could have understood that at fifteen.

fuck the pr0 ed community.