Sparks | 21 | they/them | guy who draws dragons | currently posting MY OCS!! WELCOME TO DA THUNDERDOME | creator of @steelheart-redux
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in an extremely predictable turn of events, the guy who's artistic direction was dramatically altered by playing horizon zero dawn years ago has finally obtained horizon forbidden west, and has clocked 14 hours in it in.... um. little over a day. oops.
#UGHHH i love. beasts#have to be so real im a little over aloy's reddit atheist thing like girl relax. granted im still fairly early in so maybe she chills out#but the combat and exploration is soooo fun love how seamless it is between melee and ranged#even if the pc keyboard controls are a little weirdly bound at times#sparks speaks
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everyone pretend the event doesn’t start in like ten hours
add me on artfight. idk how much i’ll actually do this year but im trying as always
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do you see the vision
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tbh like every single deltarune character is transfem to me. except kris (because im greedy and want my they/them nonbinary rep) and maybe susie (bc im PCOS truthing her)
#noelle? transfem. berdley? transfem (still annoying) dess? transfem. asriel? about to come back from college as a girl#tenna? transitions after being encouraged by mettaton. queen? transfem. rouxls kaard? transfem. force-femmed somehow but into it#lancer though…… hm. lancer’s gender is silly. do with this as you will#I FORGOT FUCKING RALSEI that ones obvious#making non rebloggable only bc i don’t feel like interacting w wider utdr fandom rn </3 sorry#sparks speaks#lanino elnina t4t bc i like that one post abt them trading genders (also hashtag straight trans rep)
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last night i had a friend over to play video games but we lost power like the entire time so we just played spore on my laptop until it died. we made spamton

i have no other footage of him bc when my laptop got low battery spore crashed and deleted the entire save
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omg hold on i was also attempting to make spamton in spore last weekend thru normal gameplay and when i sat back and looked at this i laughed so hard i almost threw up
i have a head cold rn and this is making me laugh so hard i can’t breathe
#it’s fucking killing me that we had the same idea w the proboscis and the fin thing it works too well#deltarune#spamton#spore#ask#wightworm#he’s like a penguin god forgot
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friends are playing a hk rando with a fishing mod and i got inspired
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okay bonus poll bc i was already considering making it and then someone mentioned it in my notes
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EYYY!!! I’m violently shaking your hand. I do that with my PCOS too!!! I’m 450lbs so it gives me some anxiety with jobs but other than that, the facial hair definitely gives me so some euphoria.
I don’t do the same exact thing with all the muscles and wings beating. But I would often imagine my ocs and characters in flight or in motion moving their extra limbs. And sometimes i would confuse them with myself sorta and get slight dysphoria when I didn’t also have those limbs to move. It sometimes felt very surreal!
pcos gang rise 💪 i dont really have that much facial hair (i have the faintest of babiest mustaches) as opposed to elsewhere but we take what we can get
n yeah i get stuff like that kind of, less with imaginary stuff honestly than like. people around me? like i'd pass someone on the street and imagine seeing myself from their perspective and imagine their day and their life, and then i'd "forget" i was just imagining and get really disoriented when i remembered i was me
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I hope you get to be a dragon too one day. I promise you don’t need anyone’s permission to do it, it’s just free for you. It’s ok if it takes you a while to fledge. No one flies immediately
🙏
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I LIED i found another spamton video i forgot i took from when we gave him a mouth. we kept dying
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last night i had a friend over to play video games but we lost power like the entire time so we just played spore on my laptop until it died. we made spamton

i have no other footage of him bc when my laptop got low battery spore crashed and deleted the entire save
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anyways speaking of beasts here’s my dog and her triangle
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Personally, I never really related to the whole kinning thing either, but I have found that for me I just Am what I am. Like yes, I am a dragon. Simple as that. It helps for me, though it may not work for you. People are different
yeah real
#for me there’s this weird like knee jerk “don’t claim to be something you’re not though”#i’d love to be a dragon or whatever but instinctively some part of my head has a fit and is like suck it up you’re a person#maybe it’s like my transness where like.. it is a more impactful part of my than i give it credit but it’s not something i can meaningfully#act on rn so i just get by boxing it and tucking it away#maybe when i’m like 30 i can be a weird dragonfreak nonbinary thing#but for now i gotta play the normalcy game unfortunately :T
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tbf you do not have to believe in spirituality or past lives to be therian/otherkin/nonhuman! everyone has a different experience with it, and it can be completely psychological ("i am [this] because i feel like [this] mentally/emotionally/psychologically") or even in some cases physical. but i completely understand what you mean, as someone who's an atheistic nonhuman! was just something to consider 👍 :]
nodding sagely
#sparks speaks#ask#anon#i guess part of it is like. fear of it being a symptom?#a weird internal thing i get sometimes is like “am i actually trans or is it just the effect of my PCOS / how i was treated as a result”#and for this my gut instinct is “do i want to be nonhuman or is it a side effect of my psychosis / see above”#which i guess ultimately it doesn’t matter as long as it is something that brings me comfort / is what i want#idk i already have such a loose grip on reality this might as well happen
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dont know if the label would appeal to you at all, and you dont have to put a solid Name to the things you experience of course, esp if you dont feel like it fits, but looking into therianthropy/otherkin might be fruitful! having phantom limbs/tail(s)/wings, feeling like you were meant to be something other than human even well into adulthood, can be part of being otherkin <3

I know vaguely of therianthropy, I see posts about it every now and then, but it doesn’t feel like a defining part of my identity in any way so I never really looked into it past idle curiosity
#having my “wait not everyone would gladly not be a human” realization rn#i will say i personally …. struggle to really connect w labels like kinning and whatnot just personally#like i like giving a thumbs up from across the hall but my brain tends to psychoanalyze that stuff to hell if it comes near me personally#it falls into the same category of religion for me in that it’s like. this concept brings people comfort and a way of conceptualizing thing#but for whatever reason i just cannot bring myself to meaningfully believe in it no matter how badly i want to#and i find myself honestly envious of people who can follow or connect with it#i feel that way about a lot of things tbh#ask#anon#sparks speaks#where’s that post about “rawdogging life no substances no religion etc” that’s me#minus one of those things lol. but it doesn’t do much
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