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Leaving an abusive home

This is mainly for teens and young adults escaping their abusive parents although it can also be useful for adults escaping their abusive partners. I just wrote everything down that came to my mind. If you have any additions, please reblog and share them. I’ll then edit this post and add them here.

I talk about: - Where to go - Steps to take: before leaving - Financial issues - Steps to take: during/after moving out - …and then?

(*keep reading* inserted so I can edit the post and add more info if more things come to my mind)

Keep reading

[emotionalabuseawareness]

Personal update

Hi, everyone.

I'm... here. I'm... fine. Pre-covid-era levels of fine, even if less stable - as in it takes really only a little to throw me off and have me spiraling down. At the same time I'm also kinda better at recovering afterwards. Yet I'm aware now more than ever that I need to do trauma therapy for things to properly improve and for me not constantly struggling with flashbacks and stuff. I've done therapy over the years but never trauma therapy, at first (for the longest time) because I didn't know that that was an option, that there are therapists specialised in that and then, because there was so much else going on and then I tried but oh man, the waiting lists are so long... I'm planning on starting it sometime this year.

I've been neglecting this blog so much and I literally haven't logged in in months out of guilt. At the same time I'm so busy with work and projects that I don't really have the time to post, for now. I'd really want to get back to it at some point (maybe the end of the year?) and I also still like to eventually publish the website I was planning to do, but I'm not sure anymore if I'll manage that. Definitely want to post here again, though. It's kind of hard to grasp that it's been 12 years since my first post. I wonder if I were to re-read all that I've written if there are things that I think totally different of by now or where I'd just give different or possibly expanded (due to more life experience) advice. Surely something I'll check when I start posting again.

12 years also means that I worry somehow about people getting discouraged by the fact that for me and for others, just leaving your abusive parents, hasn't lead to a stability in mental health, but that there still are struggles. That has also been a reason for not wanting to log in and post here. ...in the end it's just the reality, though. Experiencing years of abuse in childhood will for most people lead to CPTSD and have long-lasting effects. Still, things have gotten better and I do hope that things can improve even more. And I hope that things improve for you too.

Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. If you need a hug right now, let me give you at least a virtual one.

[emotionalabuseawareness]

[emotionalabuseawareness]

gentle reminder

you aren’t worthless

[emotionalabuseawareness]

Abused Kid Problem #149

tfw u try to confront ur parent about their abusive behaviour and they ask for examples and once u give them they say “those things never happened” and start mocking and insulting u and yelling at u and coming really close to ur personal space knowing it intimidates u to the point u have to lock urself away and cry . (sorry needed to get this off my chest)

[emotionalabuseawareness]

maybe it was my fault

i should’ve been better

i shouldn’t have done that

was i just a bad child?

how can i tell?

[emotionalabuseawareness]

So, I haven’t been here in a while, because I’m extremely busy since I have a few things to do where I have deadlines. I just saw that the account was “restored” to normal, though, and the messages are back! Yay! :) I’ll focus on work today but I’ll go through the messages tomorrow and send the items to the remaining giveaway winners.

[emotionalabuseawareness]

Abused Kid Problem #142

when you instinctively react with fear bc your partner uses body language you read as threatening & then they get upset that you “equate them to your abusers even though they would never do that to you” and u can’t explain its not on purpose

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Abused Kid Problem #146

When you finally get the courage to stand up to your abusers after questioning and blaming yourself and not only do people side with them because they’re more popular, you’re told that you deserved your abuse.

[emotionalabuseawareness]

Abused Kid Problem #124

When you beg your friends and their parents after hanging out to not take you home and when they ask why you tell them you don’t want to do chores but you still hope they’ll see through it and keep you away from your family

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Trying to convince yourself that it never happened

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[drawing of a blue cat saying “I deserve happiness.” in a pink speech bubble.]

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1 day after my birthday my father sent me an e-mail. Asking if we could start over again, because he misses me. I hadn’t heard from him in 6 months. For 17 years he emotionally, verbally and physically abused me. His behaviour even bordered on sexual harrassment sometimes. My younger self would’ve immediately went back to him, not wanting him to feel lonely. Not anymore.. I have written him a reply that will shatter him. I never want to see him again. It’s my time to shine now, without him.

Posted by Anonymous. (via survivorssharingsecrets)

[emotionalabuseawareness]

You know you’re a survivor when the first time you really love someone, you don’t know how to behave in a healthy relationship and you’re terrified of hurting them, to the point where you can barely express your own emotions for fear of maybe doing to them what your parent did to their spouse and to you.

[emotionalabuseawareness]

missing your abuser because you had good times too

[emotionalabuseawareness]

gentle reminder

it’s okay to take some time out of your day to relax - try your best to take care of yourself please