enderhasplans

[enderhasplans]

@casper-da-ghost3

sorry i cant hang out tomorrow im celebrating the death of a 2123 year old roman politician with a bunch of psychos on tumblr. yeah its gonna be all day

[enderhasplans]

I have committed the crime of adulting

[enderhasplans]

Why when I am being responsible and doing my prioritized tasks... do I feel irresponsible for not doing unimportant tasks... because I should be doing all of the tasks... what???

[enderhasplans]

okay so I forgot about midterms being a thing so yea rescheduling to Nov. 10th, k? Great. :)

Welp ;-;

*deeply sighs*

well, I'ma give myself the deadline of 10/20/23 to have it published on YT.... good lord. I reblog a more through plan later :/

[enderhasplans]

I was very productive today :)

[enderhasplans]

I have "music" scheduled

everyday

for 9-10pm :3

[enderhasplans]

I really should post on this account more.

[enderhasplans]

Welp ;-;

*deeply sighs*

well, I'ma give myself the deadline of 10/20/23 to have it published on YT.... good lord. I reblog a more through plan later :/

[enderhasplans]

Posting this on my alt. because I don't want to admit defeat to their face but I made a bet that one of my posts wouldn't get 150 notes before 9/30/23 and it is over halfway there and now i have to find every single time ash makes a noise and compile it onto youtube and I've kinda already accepted defeat and when i'm watching a video that he just happens to be in I just go ahead and clip it. God damn it.

[enderhasplans]

I'm starting to base my value on how well I preform at school, work and in social settings and I already taste the regret like blood in my mouth. Still, I have no idea how to stop it.

[enderhasplans]

I've never been so distressed whilst eating cucumbers

[enderhasplans]

I plan on making friends and building a positive community :)

Hey, you lonely? Wanna make some friends and socialize with out being looked over?

Well would you look at that, you have the same problem as me! I want friends and cool ppl to hang out with. So...I have a couple of discord servers for you to check out. :)

Here's a handbook for ye folks:

This server is gonna be a really fun and positive environment because I'm psycho but also very soft.

Then you have the second server: EnderLaith's USB

It's my content creator server but even if you don't particularity like my content because lets be real most of my content has be wiped from the internet or is just mid posts. I haven't really don't anything to garner a following or anything like that yet. But still come and crash by.

The reason why its called a USB is because Laith (my character) is actually a robot. (Secret character lore, ik, ik) So I would like to call my fans Bytes. And depending on how active they are or if they are friends of mine they can be gigabytes, terabytes, petabytes, etc. Maybe it's kinda lame for me to give a name to my non-existent fanbase but in the monitor... I am the mother board. I wrote the code. There is no out doing the numbers.

01010100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01100101 01110011 01100011 01100001 01110000 01100101 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101101 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 01111001 00101110

[enderhasplans]

I am so fucking upset.

Every fucking time I go to do productive stuff I just wanna scream and cry like a fucking toddler.

[enderhasplans]

Finding motivation is hard :/

[enderhasplans]

Things have changed...

7/24/23

So the plan for the next year was to stay at my current housing until May and transfer upstate to whatever college I can get accepted to. I was going to do a year of general studies here at community college for the time being but things went south. I find myself in a lot of vigilante justice situations, the problem is that the injustice is normalized. Everyone is used to it but what they are not used to is retaliation. I wish my words could make a difference and maybe they help but on their own they are pretty useless. The only way that a difference can be made is by rocking the boat. And maybe it'll sink but hey, its going down anyway. There's a chance that you can patch it up, that you have to tread water as you are taping over the holes in the upside-down boat to save us all... and there is a chance that you're just speeding up the rate at which every passenger is going to die. But I would say it's worth the risk. I hope that all the boat rocking I've done and will continue to do will get more people to join in. If we can all work together we can get this ark to fall apart. There is no saving it now. We have to start anew. And with all the planks and snapped ropes there will be a new ship, by the hands of the living for the living. It will serve us better. Or at least this is what makes sense to my mind. I could be wrong. I don't think I'll ever stop. Actually, I might. I will... I think I will stop. I'll stop being so quiet about it. I need to stop hiding from the hate. I plan on being louder.

With that being said, I have done things that I'm not proud of. Nothing too big, petty things, personal things, but those things are still wrong. But my wrong doings will not change the fact that I'm a victim. I'm a victim to things I'm not fully willing to admit to myself. Being a victim doesn't make me any less of a person. But still, I don't need to be told how wrong I am knowing that the person who I hurt back hurt me worse and faced no consequences. I'm still not sure what else to do but hurt back. So with hurting back being my only resort, and needing a place to grow without being stepped on I decided that I'm gonna move out and being in control of my life more. So that I'm in charge of myself, and my personal environment. I've spent the past 4+ years burning it all down, the good and the bad. I'm trying to rebuild something good and it keeps falling apart just as it begins to look good. I'm gonna try to stick to my college plan though. Not really sure what I'm trying to do but hell, I'm trying for whatever that's gonna be worth.

[enderhasplans]

Things things things.....

Make a new pfp

Analyze Lyrics

Study

Do college admissions