Some Dolls. Some art. 20 Years late to everything.On Ao3 @Programmable_Boy
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Some fic recs i thought you might like:
Cold Calling the Jedi Order by Programmable_Boy ā "A batch of 8 year old CC cadets are on a wilderness survival excursion and have hacked a holonet connection into their GPS. They start calling Jedi."
Out and About by vhetin - Anakin sneaks out of the Temple as a padawan and finds some helpful mandalorians, very cute and funny.
|vidur viduvasario| by littlekaracan - sweet and fluffy codywan, with the enjoyably specific setting of Lithuanian folklore.
Wings over Gotham series by icarus_chained - deeply moving, somewhat harrowing read, the author is really good at picking out the details of the characters' psyches; there're whole chapters where all that physically happens is a character sittng around and thinking, but because of the depth and complexity of their thoughts it's still very compelling. i think i'd categorize it as something like a mercyfic, too? lots of expecting the worst and being met with compassion.
These sound interesting, thanks!
#Oh lmao#i knew something had happened#look guys I got recced#Maybe I Should work more on The Mother-Son Anti-Sith Roadtrip#reblag
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Post-Mercury Falling Thad strikes out to become a solo hero. If he can become a better hero than Impulse, without Impulse's help, that's still replacing Impulse like he planned. Fawcett City has spotty outside reporting and Zero Flash presence. So no one will even be able to see him. It's perfect. Or, it would be if 30th century records were reliable. Captain Marvel has this Speed of Mercury thing. Billy just wants to make friends with a rare visiting hero.
Finished after a year, it's the Inertia & Captain Marvel friendship fic nobody asked for. š
Featuring: Exactly 1 Bank Robbery, Mysterious Disappearing Guns, and Attempted Murder by Turkey Club
#thad thawne#dc inertia#impulse 1995#mercury falling#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#captain marvel dc
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Duchess laughs when she realizes, the undignified kind thatās mostly a honk. Sheās always known that she needs to steal a destiny, not aĀ prince.Ā Because any prince can be stupid, can be naive, can be tricked, can fail to save her if theyāreĀ destinedĀ to. Princes and Princesses have nothing to do with what StoryĀ theyāre in. They don't do anything, theyāreĀ innocent.Ā Duchess needs to be cursed correctly first. She needs to steal aĀ villain,Ā and Faybelle wants to fulfill her role more thanĀ anything.
Making up for only posting het Ever After High fic by concocting the most diabolical doomed yuri I am physically capable of producing.
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or,Ā Thad Thawne's 10 Biggest Issues with Impulse
Thad's perspective on the time between his introduction and Mercury Falling.
The subject smiles. Thad imitates it. He knows without checking that heās gotten it wrong. He pauses the video on Impulseās face and lowers his heels to the ground. Thad stares at the line of his jaw and the curve of his nose and the bright yellow of his eyes and tries again to make their expressions as identical as their features. He smiles again, and the muscles in his cheeks pull uncomfortably. His eyebrows furrow. He knows thatās wrong too. He advances the footage. Pauses on another frame. Impulse smiling again. Thad doesnāt understand what there was for him to even smileĀ about.Ā He doesnāt care. The point was that this was a different smile. Thad keeps his lips together and tilts his head a little along with the uneven curve of his mouth. Itās still not right on his face. He runs his fingers through his hair again and plays the footage a few more times.
#my writing#thad thawne#mercury falling#the arc that you are#What if I made the stupid joker grin from the end of issue 51 sad#What then
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The Nightcrawler mental breakdown fic.
1k
Itās easy to mistake for vanity, from the outside. When he catches his appearance in the mirror and pauses, he stares and tips his chin. To see his face from every angle and finally move on. It is easy to mistake for confidence, to the untrained eye. When he is loud and brash and smiles at the people who stare.
Tagged for: Depression, Body Dysphoria, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Scarification, Blood and Injury
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A number of my comments have alluded to Ferus Storming Kamino after the end of this fic. I have felt the need to clarify my vision for the trajectory of the followup I will not be writing.
First of all, Ferus is not storming Kamino. Not alone at least. Perfect padawan, guy who thinks things through, Ferus Olin, is calling his Master. Information is important. Coordination is important. This Force divined road trip is important. If, by the time Siri Tachi and him connect, Ferus has picked 5 identical teenaged boys off an otherwise uninhabited jungle planet, thatās between him and the Force.
Siri is actually so fucking proud of him. He called her back! He took initiative without overthinking it! He called her! Heās developed a good relationship with his peers (5 cloned teenagers)! Heās saving the Jedi and the Republic and also several million clones of Jango Fett! Her Padawan is back! Interstellar Roadtrip of all time! Itās a Blues Bothers type beat. Weāre getting the band back together.
Siri first. Only she and Ferus can be there with the clones the whole time. Everyone else is ducking in and out to keep suspicion down as as they investigate the conspiracy at the heart of the Republic. Sheās feeling a lot of emotions about Ferus and the noogies can only do so much. Sheās saying mama words out loud! Itās a novel experience for the clones and they are watching with interest.
The clones are also not surprised or intimidated in any way by Master Tachiās skintight catsuit because that is normal. They do, however, have opinions on the Jedi, in general, not wearing armor. This is very funny except for all the ways in which this explanation reveals sad things about their youth and expectations.
Then Siri calls in Quinlan for Shadow Reasons. He gets picked up, and introduced to the gang as Vos. The ripple of recognition and emotion that slams through the newly rescued batch at the name is almost alarming. Though Fox and Wolffe will immediately, and for entirely different reasons, agree that it was a good strategy, Quinlan will not live down the Sex Jedi thing throughout the entirety of this adventure. The Sex Jedi is doing crazy paperwork. The Sex Jedi is getting an Audit going. The Sex Jedi is a forensic accountant. Vos has neatly slotted into the role of Your Older Cousin who Lies to you.
The Vos reveal leads to an interrogation about who else, exactly, they called on their fucked up franken-comm. The comm is dead, on account of the fact that it is basically a pile of burnt out remains. (Because Neyo wasnāt kidding about the cooling problems, dog) The Jedi are in legitimate awe that it functioned at all. ā¦the will of the Force⦠so they have to rely on self reporting.
The self appointed GAR investigation task force is never going to find out about Ki-Adi Mundi. The squad put their heads together once Quinlan showed up and decided not to mention him. Theyāve figured out the lying to the Jedi thing and are gonna say that they made 5 calls(true) and that the first time they tried it had the Temple Prefix and it didnāt connect(true) The perfect scheme.
The Batch coughs up a name. Agen Kolar is about to join the party. Agenās important because they keep pretending that as long as heās in on it they have Council approval. Agen will earnestly and bluntly apologize for hanging up, mention offhand that he attempted to call their fucked up ghost comm back and failed because itās physically incapable of receiving incoming calls, and then get pulled into a side conversation on grenades. Heās their favorite adult because heās willing to repeatedly get in physical fights with them(lighthearted sparring). Blunt is just another word for honest and efficient. The Batch all follow Agen down to the cargo hold like ducklings because heās nice and they want to try and punch him in the throat again.
Anyway, Palpatine wonāt know what hit him. Ferus is getting Knighted at the end of this.

Letās save the Republic with Mama.
A batch of 8 year old CC cadets are on a wilderness survival excursion and have hacked a holonet connection into their GPS. They start calling Jedi. Features: Teen boy Engineering, Getting Flashbanged by the comm display, Brotherly Antagonism, Quinlan Vos pretending to be a Jedi-Themed Phone Sex Operator, and Former Padawan Ferus Olinās Depression Nest. It might just save the galaxy.
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Yo, you know Rise of Red, the Time Travel Descendants film about time travel? What if it didn't have time travel, and also the character arcs were complete and made sense as a single work.
Welcome to the Urban Resistance AU. It's a game of cat and mouse through Auradon. The Queen of Hearts does her Coup and Chloe and Red escape, but instead of using the Pocketwatch, they have to learn to trust each other and get along while escaping the card soldiers and attempting to thwart the sweeping changes of the new Regime.
Chloe, Our Knight in Shining Armor and face of the resistance, skilled in close quarters combat and community organization, has to stop being precious about how to accomplish her goals and accept help from unlikely places. Her glass slipper shatters when she stops holding back and lands a roundhouse kick on a guard to protect Red.
Red, Our Shadow behind the scenes, familiar with how her mother thinks and plans, good at stealth and parkour, and the only person in Auradon with practical, structured, magic training that's not in prison, has to learn how to work with other people and gain their trust. It's revealed at the climax that her supposed betrayal in the second act was a planned ruse.
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Hello and welcome to the third annual April First Honesty Hour. A tradition I made up wherein I, your humble Jester, engage in shameless self promotion and behind the scenes editorializing of this last yearās creative offerings.
#april first honesty hour#Evening reminder#If anyone has enjoyed any of the fanfic Iāve posted in the last year#Come check out the commentary
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Ok Iāve done all the fics that got real posts on tumblr. Thereās other, secret fics that did not get real posts on tumblr.
Check out my ao3 for the Impulse ā95 oneshot and the first chapter of the Souled!Drusilla fic.
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In honor of this made up holiday tradition, I am going to be very real with you. This fic started as a homestuck joke. Specifically, imagining this conversation but with Clones. Ha ha, hilarious.

Anyway, then I wrote over 5k words and it became very very real.
Moving onto background details and additional japes:
Starting with the Jedi I would first like to state for the record that I hold real and nuanced opinions on Jedi Master Quinlan Vos outside his cameo appearance in this fic. Additionally, I earnestly and straightfacedly maintain that Quinlanās decision to impersonate a sex worker makes tactical sense when you consider that, to him, his Shadow comm had just been compromised by an unknown party asking if he was a Jedi. Confirming or denying it would not provide an adequate enough explanation to kill the rumor that the number belongs to a Jedi, and the addition of sex would make any claims as to itās legitimacy uncomfortable to maintain. This is the story we are telling the council and we are sticking to it.
Ki-Adi Mundi is a normal guy in Star Wars canon, but sucks ass in the Extended universe. A significant portion of the delay in writing this fic was attempting to thread that needle, and I do like to think I succeeded. Mainly this means that Ki-Adi Mundi has technically behaved impeccably, while also incidentally Full Perfect stumbling into every trigger that the Clones have.
Ferus Olin is reporting live from his depression nest because Iāve set this fic Immediately after he leaves the Order due to the death of a friend. This means his schedule is Wide open in a way that say, Agen Kolarās is not. This also means that the fic accidentally got way sadder than my lighthearted japes but that was sorta inevitable.
Fox vs. Natborn Grief, Which surely must be different.
Moving onto the Clones, or more specifically, my favorite character in the fic, the Wretched Comm Device that these teenaged boys cobbled together. Itās body horror for droids and I tried really hard to impart enough details in the narrative for yāall to see the vision. The messy soldering, the multiple components hanging on their wires, the extremely long delay as the thing attempts to immolate itself at every operation that isnāt displaying land elevation diagrams, the T9 texting on the numerical keypad they ripped out of the wall. Itās like a son to me. It is also like a son to Cody, whomst is very autistic about communications equipment in this.
Fox, reasonably: If cadets are going to be mean to Rex they donāt Deserve to have doors.
This leads into our actual characters. Fox is a mean asshole who keeps bullying Cody for his attachment to Rex. This is funnier if you read into any of the narration enough to realize that Fox also loves that little bastard. Fox also does not actually respect authority, which makes him very fun to write, and also to write T9 texting like a Y2K teenager.
Finally, all the Clones in this fic are teenagers and I tried very hard to make sure that translated. These idiot brothers are all the natborn equivalent of 16 and it is their sole and solemn duty to make that each otherās problem. Hence the consistent heckling.
A batch of 8 year old CC cadets are on a wilderness survival excursion and have hacked a holonet connection into their GPS. They start calling Jedi. Features: Teen boy Engineering, Getting Flashbanged by the comm display, Brotherly Antagonism, Quinlan Vos pretending to be a Jedi-Themed Phone Sex Operator, and Former Padawan Ferus Olinās Depression Nest. It might just save the galaxy.
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I wrote this one on accident, and also over the course of about 8 months. A significant increase over the originalās breakneck 5 day turnaround.
Fans of Skittish will be pleased to learn that this addition includes a ~Name~ for Jonās Daemon, and more Comfort in the Hurt/Comfort ratio.
Skittish B-Side is three scenes from Skittish, rewritten from Jon Antillesā POV. I donāt usually read alternate POV fics like this, let alone write them, because they tend to feel repetitive for me. I mostly got around it by excluding scenes 2 and 5, (Rex briefing his General, and Rex and Cody talking) and setting the B-Sides of scenes 1 and 4 (Rex Meeting his General, and Rex in the Medbay) slightly after the ending of their antecedents. The last scene to get a B-Side, the healing one, is concurrent with the scene in Skittish, but Jon has got so much going on there that itās hard to call repetitive.
Anyway, my two favorite āif you consider these togetherā moments are: Scene 1 Rex being āa little uncertainā when repeating his address and Jon hearing Rex subtly deemphasize his own personhood. And in the healing scene, Jon ābreathingā and Rex amending that to ābox breathingā
Behind the scenes details on this, Jonās Daemon is naming itself Commander. This is, manifestly, adorable. Itās also interesting to note that the 501st, as a battalion without a padawan and one where its ranking officer is a Captain, is the Only battalion where it could have named itself Commander, instead of merely being called one. Also, Jonās daemon naming itself Commander has been the plan since I wrote Rex meeting it. It ties into the Jon Antilles of it all, and makes it apparent that it Didnāt previously have a name, in the same way as Jon not checking for an audience in B-Side Healing. That no one referred to his daemon because he had never spent enough time around others for them to need to. For them to get used to his idiosyncrasies. To the teleportation. To perhaps even Meet his daemon.
Another thing I pushed harder in the latter two scenes of B-Side is Jon and Rex taking cues not from each other, but from each otherās Daemons. Jon realizes that the troops arenāt mad at him bc of Sidearm and Rex notices that Jon is awake because of Commander.
Finally, someone on Ao3 asked:
[W]hat was going through Dark Womanās mind (or whoever invented this style of healing) to heal by way of Daemon-touching?ā
And I do have an answer for this! It never came up in the fic. Because Daemons are, you know, kinda sorta not real animals, theyāre more similar to each other in makeup than the beings they match. So, healing them is a single standardized technique, or at least as standardized as the worst thing you can do to a person can be. As opposed to having to learn more about the biological differences between say, a Rodian and a Twiālek, to heal them effectively. Itās the evil kind of efficiency.
One of the things with Dark Woman is uncovering lost Force techniques and I like to imagine thereās a reason they were bothĀ createdĀ andĀ abandoned,Ā like, for example, because they were too energy intensive, or because they required a deeper connection with the Force than the majority of students could achieve. Or, as is the case here, because itās a desperate measure. Itās a battlefield technique being used nearly 1000 years after the Jedi stopped fighting in armies. The Jedi have dedicated healers now, they donāt need to use the most broad and brutally efficient method available to patch anyone back together regardless of species.
Rex's new general is supposed to be a Jedi. He receives a nervous cloak with an absent daemon. The fact that he's doing a great job can only work for so long to distract from how Jon Antilles appears to be, under the robe, composed entirely out of red flags. āWelcome to the 501st, Sir. Iām CT-7567, Captain Rex?ā The confusion crept into his voice against his will as the dark shapeless robe that was supposed to be his CO continued to stand completely still on his transportās ramp. Under his bucket, his smile cracked around the edges. He felt the pinpricks of Sidearmās claws digging into his blacks at the base of his neck. The silent standoff continued for another several seconds before whatever had apparently distracted their new Jedi passed.
#april first honesty hour#Commander keeping the It/its pronouns is also v important to me#They will never be normal#The changes are irrevocable
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This is still in progress, but the idea came out of people asking repeatedly if I was going to continue or make a sequel to Doug Fic (Long Held Resentment, by its government name). The answer is no. Doug fic works the way it does because of the combination of his strange ubiquity in the first Descendants film, and the things itās possible to read into his actions or inactions in relation to that. Doug doesnāt have that much in D2 or D3 (By the way if you want me to tell you about my Descendants 2 thoughts Iāve got them already.)
But you know who is strangely ubiquitous in the third Descendants movie, who has a lot of things itās possible to read into their actions and inactions in relation to that? Celia. She does and knows a lot but the movie gives her very little agency. By putting D3 in her perspective, and reminding yourself that the entire time she is 13 years old and Scared, you set yourself up to watch a 90 minute film over the course of 5 hours so you can take notes, and going briefly insane.
Remember Celia Fic? Well, its first two chapters are up for public consumption. Celiaās POV on the plot of Descendants 3. Features VK Day being a Sham and Celia & Hades Friendship, amongst other things.
āThis aināt an application,ā he says finally, āItās a popularity contest.ā Celia snorts. Itās not like she doesnātĀ know. Dizzy got her acceptance before they even announced VK day, and sheās over at the salon writing out her application for āJuvenile Reunificationā just the same as the rest of them.
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There are a few possible ways to write fanfiction. In this one I really do earnestly and honestly believe that growing up with Christian Wolff made Braxton develop these habits.
A hitman, actively convincing his target to kill himself realizes that heās said something off hand thatās too far and too greatly upset his target. He says his targets name 3 times and clarifies, gives reasons he wonāt do what he said he would.
āWhen you interrupt somebody like that it makes them feel that youāre just not interested in what they have to sayā
In honor of The Accountant 2ās forthcoming release, hereās the Braxton character study thatās been languishing in my docs since 2023.
Braxtonās pretty good at reading people, especially in high stress situations. This is good, considering his job is to put people into what could, euphemistically, be called high stress situations. He thinks most of it is because of his brother, who was hard to read and well trained out of complaining and found more situations to be stressful than the general public did. Brax hasnāt seen the guy in years. Doesnāt know heās alive, except in the bone deep instinctual way that he would say, in that flat tone of his, has no scientific basis.Ā
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Iāve written several fics on accident. Looking down halfway through a rant Iāve written in a narrative voice and realizing that itās broken 1k, my personal threshold for posting. No fic has been as much an accident as Jack fic though, which I fought tooth and nail against except for how badly I needed to write it.
Jack in Pitch Black is one of the few times when a character being revealed to be Secretly a Girl this whole time hasnāt bothered me. Itās because nothing Changes. Like, Riddick knew from the beginning but when that whole thing happens, she doesnāt go oh sick let me tell you about my desire to enroll in a Catholic all girls high school.* On a related note, Kyra in Chronicles of Riddick made me Incredibly sad. This fic is me fixing that.
Kyra on paper is not as bad as she could be. Itās just that Kyra as filmed got got like Megan Fox in the Transformers movies. The thing is that Riddick and Jack orbit each other on a really specific level. And Riddick and Kyra is just Riddick making poor choices and shouting about āThe Girlā
Pitch Black Jack would know better than to go looking for Riddick in prison. However, the implication that you can get a lot of practice breaking out of prison. That Riddick did. That the way he taught Jack all but guaranteed this result, well thatās fun isnāt it?
*Iāve personally experienced reading the Catholic all girls high school reveal and literally mspaint kneeling crying on the ground reaction You were a Knight of the Realm! One of King Arthurās chosen!
Uh oh, I talked too much shit during family movie night and now I have a new work posted.
What if Jack was more Jack in Chronicles? He tilts his head a little, looking, and they mirror it exactly. Too exactly. Pride and a nauseating sort of anger fight for space inside his chest. He nods his head at Jack and dispatches the circling small fry. Sheās gone by the time heās finished. Whisper silent and unobtrusive.
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I think far too much about everything, so this 1300 word fic is approximately 60% carefully thought out and integrated headcanon by volume. The other 40% is my music taste. My special talent is the ability to justify a stupid bit using facts and logic.
Daisy Bell is partially here for narrative symmetry, Xander thoughtlessly bringing up a song that bothers Spike before Spike does the same, but mostly because I personally think Daisy Bell is a William song. It doesnāt Matter that it came out 12 years after he was turned, heās got that vibe forever.
Xander and Spike know the song from different sources, Spike, because he was, you know, there when it was popular. Xander, because it was used in classic nerd film 2001: A Space Odyssey. Though I should note that he references lyrics that do not appear in the film itself, which implies that he looked up the song separately. This leads into to the second song.
Xander is canonically a musical theatre enjoyer, we had a whole episode about it. Spike canonically listens to punk and shock rock, including the Sid Vicious cover of My Way by Frank Sinatra.
This provided me the truly evil opportunity to have Spike whistle 5 bars of The Jets, which he would know from when Alice Cooper covered it as part of Gutter Cat vs. The Jets and Xander would know because itās from classic film West Side Story. Xander canāt call him out on it, because admitting to knowing show tunes isnāt something he can play off at his current level of confidence. He thinks Alice Cooper is a girlās name.
I extrapolated Spikeās passion for Passions with the fact that Movie theaters are large public buildings with no windows and a largely inattentive customer base, to justify his musical theater knowledge by the way. He also, canonically, spent a not insignificant portion of the 60s doing drugs.
The detail I enjoyed writing the most that I expect to be missed by a majority of readers is actually in the reason Spike starts humming Gutter Cat vs. The Jets in the first place.
Song he starts humming while planning revenge against Angelus for his betrayal. Half about being a fighter with swagger and half about the promise of belonging. Itās the abandonment issues again.
š¶When you're a Jet, You're a Jet all the way/ From your first cigarette, Till your last dyin' day/ When you're a Jet, Let 'em do what they can/ Little boy, you got friends, You're a family manš¶
Get his ass, Spike.
Also, this is set before Spike figures out he can hurt demons, but it would Never occur to him that planning violence against Angel would be a clue to that. Thatās status quo that is.
Xander and Spike engage in low stakes, music based, psychological warfare while Spike is tied to a chair in the Harris Basement.
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Hello! I'm offering a special April First Honesty Hour miracle this year for Reeve Dodgers.
By the time this reblog is posted, this fic will be updated with a bonus section: The Absolute State of Nazi Intelligence: or Whatever Happened to Bucky Barnes
Steve: Dirch isnāt Hydra. Tony: How would you know? Isnāt that the whole thing? That anyone at SHIELD could be Hydra? Steve: if he was Hydra he would have shot me by now. Tony: Didnāt he pull a gun on Clint once? Steve: Who hasnāt? Clint: Yeah, Tony. Water under the bridge. Tony: I get Restraining Orders for those people. Clint: What, you want me to have no friends?
Iāve been writing entirely unstructured MCU crackfic the last, while. Itās like, 10k long.
The Concept: MCU Steve Rogers, guy who never quits, is quietly sent home after the serum "fails." It did not, in fact, Fail. After realizing this, Steve Rogers, 5'1ā Super Soldier and 6 time recruitment office applier, makes up a new fake name and Joins the Army anyway.
Thus starts the Legend of Reeve Dodgers. He becomes a military in joke, he gets into all the regular Howling Commandos type nonsense, he wakes up in modern New York and goes missing for 3 weeks, he gets an Analyst job at SHIELD and almost drives his deskmate into a nervous breakdown, he starts writing and drawing for the ongoing run of In Universe Captain America Comics, he gets poached for Stark Industries R&D testing, he becomes good friends with Clint Barton, he wears a Captain America Suit for the first time during the events of The Avengers(2012)
āI can't believe that Howard helped make an Easy Bake Oven for Supersoldiers.ā He drags a hand down his face and looks over at Steve from between his fingers. All five feet of him. āI canāt believe it worked.ā Steve gets the vague impression that he should be offended by that, but shrugs it off. āSee, youāre saying that like itās a name,ā Steve says, with an absent push at the air for emphasis. āBut weāve just established why I donāt know what that is.ā āThe easy part was that it caused fewer house fires, champ.ā Tony says, and claps him on the shoulder before rattling through his explanation in a way that Steveās learned means he wants to get to a punchline that Steve wouldnāt have understood otherwise.
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