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ensignsimp · 7 days
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ensignsimp · 28 days
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A disturbing thought has just occurred to me: if I live to be 77 (the average US life expectancy), the year will be 2081. That’s way past 2063, the date of first contact. In fact, I’d only be 59. Which, if we’re going by Cochrane’s actor’s age when the movie was filmed (bc let’s be real, that old man does NOT look 33, so he’s the actor’s actual age in my book), which is 56 btw, means Cochrane is Gen Z, and he could be at a highschool prom right now while scrolling through tiktok. (Obviously not fr bc he’s fictional and ik that this is all hypothetical.)
Happy First Contact Day:
A/N: Sorry I wanted to save this for today.
When I first read this I fucked up royally on (the wacky tobacky) and it nearly made me have a horny existential crisis. By 2063 I would be 63 or 64 years old. That means if I worked hard enough on myself I could still date a Vulcan...
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Ensign Simp Getting Ready to go out on First Contact Day: April 5, 2063
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Fuck new year new me! I'm going long-term for alien sex!
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ensignsimp · 1 month
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Honestly, 10/10 on all of them. Soval, especially!
When they realize they like a human in a romantic way! Vulcan edition! Fight me on this!!! Lols
@zierzim -like this is straight up their personalities
@ensignsimp -Definitely Soval
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ensignsimp · 1 month
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Now what would you play to drown out the fascist?
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There are n*zis on campus rn and a student brought out like a 1997 boombox and started blasting Taking The Hobbits to Isengard every time they tried to say something.
“Those who do not share our genes -THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS - THE MASTER RACE - TO ISENGARD TO ISENGARD - AND I BELIEVE - THE HOBBITS THE HOBBITS THE-”
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ensignsimp · 1 month
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I'm sorry for being so sappy, but I wanted to show you guys something.
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When I first donated to PCRF in December 2023, it was barely 10% close to its goal. Now in March 2024, they're also 100%. Everyone of you has helped support a better future for Gaza.
They're so close to their goal. Please donate or share this post so that they can get to their goal🇵🇸
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ensignsimp · 1 month
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I'll be back with more content soon in the meantime...
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Reblog to make it die faster
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ensignsimp · 2 months
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Try having it be your autistic hyper fixation. I feel like Norma from Paranormal Park.
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Those books, movies, and games were literally the only thing that was supporting my mental health. It was so apart of me that my family sometimes still accidentally buy things for me. I have to constantly remind them because they know it was a huge part of me. I was mad when she ruined it for me. Because while I still have old stuff, second hand items, and fan made things it makes me sad having them. Because while she is alive, I'll always associate my obsession with her.
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It is also why I'm trying to write a magical academia mystery series myself to try to heal. And I would appreciate it if you guys would put what you would like to have in it. I know it seems like a weird request but...it would help my healing process.
It's so embarrassing having grown up as a Harry Potter fan. Every time Joanne says some new shit, I have to remember a different website where I have a Harry Potter-themed username and immediately change it, lest people think I associate with Holocaust denialists.
I bet one of these days I wake up one morning and the whole internet is like, "Breaking News: JKR eats baby because it didn't tell her whether or not it was trans" and then some deep hidden part of my brain awakens and I sigh and change my Skype handle from 2012.
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ensignsimp · 2 months
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Only of I get to kiss the aliens.
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Our newest class of astronaut candidates graduated on March 5, 2024. This means they’re now eligible for spaceflight assignments to the International Space Station, the Moon, and beyond! In the next twelve posts, we’ll introduce these new astronauts.
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Do you want to be a NASA astronaut? Applications are now open.
Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!
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ensignsimp · 2 months
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I know "60s housewives who invented slash fanfiction" has taken on a life of its own as a phrase, but Kirk/Spock didn't really exist until the 70s and THOSE WOMEN HAD JOBS. They were teachers and librarians and bookkeepers and scientists and they damn well spent their own money going to conventions, printing zines, buying fanart and making fandom happen. Put some respect on their names.
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ensignsimp · 2 months
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I bought this BEAUTIFUL print from @sevvrael, who is donating all proceeds to charity for Palestine. See their post for all the details and here is their etsy shop!
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ensignsimp · 2 months
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ensignsimp · 3 months
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SELLING PRINTS TO SUPPORT PALESTINE
||REBLOGS GREATLY APPRECIATED|| Hello everyone, from now until the foreseeable future I will be donating all proceeds from my Etsy shop to @/careforgaza on Twitter! >> https://www.etsy.com/shop/sevvrael << This includes these Spirk, Elisabeth Das Musical, and Mozart Das Musical prints:
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ensignsimp · 3 months
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Headcanons for how the TOS boys (separately ofc- unless youre willing to do poly mcspirk x reader lol 👀) react to walking into his bedroom to find his fem!s/o sitting on their bed wearing nothing but a ribbon she’s tied around herself so he can unwrap her like a present, as a sort of birthday gift to him.
Wrapped Up TOS HCs: Kirk, Spock, McCoy
A/N: Just in time for Valentine's Day.
A/N+: Next you'll wanna pop out of a cake for their birthdays.
TW: Mature Content
Prompt: Wrapped up Valentine Day Gift for our favorite boys.
James T. Kirk
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When you said that you have a surprise for him this Valentine's he was nervous but excited.
He had tried to make each Valentine's Day special, one year he even surprised you in bed by wearing a very sexy pair of yellow lingerie.
But this year you were going to surprise him!
He practically runs to your shared quarters and has to hold himself back as he knocks on the doors.
When he walks in and sees you sitting on his bed, wrapped up in a thick red ribbon with a comically large tag that reads: To Kirk
He can't help but chuckle slightly. His face is bright red. This has always been a bit of a fantasy for him.
He's pulling at his collar and stuttering slightly.
"You, you - This is quite a surprise."
He saunters up to you trying to be seductive but you can tell he's just too excited.
He gently pulls at the ribbon wrapped around your torso.
You feel his breath tickle your ear as he leans in and whispers.
"I can't wait to unwrap you."
S'Chn T'Gai Spock
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When you said that you have a surprise for him this Valentine's he was skeptical.
He had tried to understand the meaning of the holiday but to show such affection openly was not what Vulcans did. So he often would give you a bouquet of flowers and read some kind of sentimental poetry when you were alone.
However, at the end of his shift, he is curious about what you have planned.
He walks a few paces faster than normal back to your shared quarters. He even skips a little.
When he walks in and sees you sitting on his bed. His face flushes the same shade of green as the ribbon you're wrapped in.
He tries to keep his composure but you look so tempting to him. He isn't used to this sudden feeling.
He gasps slightly as you slyly shift your position to a more sultry pose.
"My wife, are you in the stages of your pon farr?"
You giggle and gesture for him to come closer.
He willingly approaches and reaches his hands out to you. He runs his fingers over your exposed skin and silk thread.
He then gently cups your face feeling your want and desire for him. You see him, just briefly, crack a small smile.
"I shall be as gentle as I can, however, I can not guarantee you will go blemished."
Leonard McCoy
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When you said that you have a surprise for him this Valentine's he was suspicious.
He had tried to do something nice for Valentine's Day before but it never seemed to go as planned.
He was curious and enjoyed the idea of you surprising him.
He seems to be in a better mood through most of his shift. He expects something quiet like a nice candlelit meal and dancing.
He's completely gobsmacked when he walks into your shared quarters.
He feels like a teenager seeing a (beautiful boy / gorgeous girl / perfect partner) in their bed for the first time.
He clamps his hand over his mouth because it is about to fall on the floor.
"I didn't know you'd go all out, aren't I just the luckiest man alive."
You giggle and puff your chest out tempting him to pull the bow.
He skips the bow and gently cups your face, giving you a strong sweet kiss.
His other hand trails down the ribbon and pulls at it slightly teasing you.
"I feel bad not getting you anything, but I'll show you how much I appreciate you."
Extra Holiday Special:
Quad
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They were confused when you said that you had a surprise for them.
You had them scratching their heads all day.
On the turbolift ride down to your shared quarters the three of them talked about what you might have planned.
Kirk seems to be excited while McCoy and Spock are still trying to figure out what you've done.
They find their quarters empty until they hear music coming from the bedroom.
When they see you Kirk and McCoy are completely shocked, while Spock raises an eyebrow.
Kirk quickly goes from shock to excitement.
McCoy is still trying to process what is going on.
And Spock is still holding his cold stone exterior complemented by a bright green blush.
"You naughty (boy, girl, thing)."
"Who gets to unwrap them first?"
"This is quite a display ashal-veh."
The three basically fight over who gets what, it's kind of cute.
Spock leads the charge by approaching you first.
Kirk practically rips his own shirt off.
McCoy is trying to pick a fight with Spock on who gets to go first.
"Best gift I've ever received."
"Next time, he'll want us to do this."
"I am not opposed to such an idea."
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ensignsimp · 3 months
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What's your Love Language HC for Sarek?
Love Language TOS Sarek HCs
Prompt: How do the TOS Sarek how their love and what are some things they love to do with their partner.
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Acts of Service
Acts of Service mean everything to a Vulcan. They show love and appreciation through their acts and loyalty. This is no different with Sarek. He'll be even more appreciative if you do the same for him.
Quality Time
He loves to spend time with his spouses, which is partly why he takes them everywhere. He constantly wants to be near you and will be even more standoffish and irritated when he isn't. He is deeply devoted to the ones he loves.
Physical Touch
This man is constantly adoring his partners. He wants to have their physical reassurance constantly. In a way, it keeps him grounded. He is always holding his hand out for an ozh'esta.
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LOOK AT HIM!
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ensignsimp · 3 months
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Ok, but which vulcanoids do you think would be the most into pegging (especially with an AFAB/fem mate)?
Weird Kinky HCs: Vulcanoid Pegging Chart
TW: Mature Content
A/N: Happy Valentine's Day!
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Let's face it the Vulcanoids are all into pegging.
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ensignsimp · 3 months
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Oh may I please request some romantic headcanons with Spock and Soval?
Romantic ENT Soval HCs:
A/N: I haven't done a lot of Enterprise stuff so I figured I would just stick with that since I'm running out of ideas for Spock rn.
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He struggles to show you "emotional" gestures of affection.
He prefers to show his love in quieter softer ways.
Sometimes he will present you with flowers, each arrangement proclaiming a deeper vibrant message.
Other times he displays his affection by "indulging" in your earthly pleasures; food, entertainment, etc.
He enjoys Jane Austin Novels. You let him borrow one of your copies and he was fascinated by it.
On the rare occasion, he does perform public displays of affection, he will either offer you an ozh'esta or hold your hand. It is easy to hide under long sleeves.
When you wear traditional or popular Vulcan clothing he has to work twice as hard to contain himself.
He does like to indulge in Earth's pleasures but he's a mess when you embrace his.
During meditations, he will allow you to spend time near him as long as you are silent.
It is difficult when you tempt him away from his practices.
He is such a sugar daddy.
If the two of you are going to an important event together he will have you dressed in nothing except the finest.
He insists it's to make sure you both make a good impression.
But he in reality just likes to show off his cute human (husband/wife/partner) to make other diplomats jealous.
He may not indulge his other emotions externally but that doesn't mean he doesn't indulge his pride.
And you are his absolute pride.
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ensignsimp · 3 months
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Yes this is about the background Vulcan from Lower Decks. But also… I will stan almost any Vulcan. Terral? Yuris? Selar? Taurik? T’Pring? Any of the unnamed Vulcans on these pages? I stan them all. 
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