envisioning-deadroses-blog

[envisioning-deadroses-blog]

poem #3: trance-like

When I look in the mirror, I am not there

The things I see overwhelming my clouded mind as to why it is that I’m not seeing me

My eyes frantically dashing, looking for /me/, but never grasping what exactly it is that they’re looking at

Of course, my ever so calculating brain eventually tells my eyes to put themselves to rest; they aren’t going to find anything that looks real

It is all so dream-like and odd really, I’m in a trance

- L. M. 2017

[envisioning-deadroses-blog]

poem #2: imprints

I could use every word in the dictionary and it still wouldn’t come near being able to describe this immense void I feel inside of myself

I wake up with salted tears running down my tan skin, breathless, pain coursing through me like a heartbeat

Mind racing, stomach churning, everything feeling so unreal 

My dreams imprinted with your smiling faces, my heart swelling with non existent memories, my thoughts purely engrossed by your happy laughter 

I miss you

I can see you

I can hear you but, I miss you with every inch and fiber in my being

I miss our long phone calls, our revealing skype calls, our stupid text messages, our pointless movie marathons

I miss us, all of us

-L. M. 2017

[envisioning-deadroses-blog]

poem #1: old flame

There isn’t a day that passes by where her glistening eyes, tender smile, and happiness inducing laughter, doesn’t further engrave itself into my everlasting memories

The moments we shared seeming so cold and distant, yet the flame, /our/ flame never forgotten, and the only way my fragile heart could ever forget  is having it torn away from the remaining shards, the broken pieces of my lonely heart

She did nothing, that woman did absolutely nothing, yet she meant/means everything

Her precious hours, her wistful smiles, made me feel like I was on top of this sickening world, ruling over them all, with /her/

This woman made me think I could be everything, but simultaneously broke me down, shredding all my hopes and aspirations with a simple, “ I’m not in the mood” or “ Leave me alone” 

She made me feel special, yet so insignificant all at once, she tore me apart

The times we spent together had me counting my lucky stars, hoping and praying to god, to a god I don’t even believe in that.. /this/ woman, this enchanting woman, would have any sentiment in return

During all those lovesick hours, I wondered, “ why?” 

Why would this wonderful woman spend any of her precious time with my lovesick heart, how come she never shut me down?

Realization

The amber eyed, smirk wearing beauty enjoyed having me desperately fawning over her, helplessly and sadly

So I sit here, holding these razor sharp heart shards, giving a last hurrah to an old flame

-L. M. 2017

{ link to inspiration song } 

{ a/n: actually about me }