envyfilled - Tumblr blog

[envyfilled]

Where's my stalker to come and kidnap me in order to help and protect me from this overly stressful world? Make me your darling already.

[envyfilled]

I crave it.

The mutual obsession.

The feeling of loving and being loved in return.

I want our worlds to revolve around each other, my dearest how I long to be yours…

[envyfilled]

It's too much. ITS TOO MUCH. ITS TOO FUCKING MUCH. I WANT TO CLAW AT MY ARMS AND TEAR AT MY SKIN. the white noise is too loud. I can't fucking THINK.

[envyfilled]

Everything feels like white noise, it's so hard to focus, it's so hard to care and yet I care too much. I'm so fucking tired of it all, can't the world just swallow me whole? Or can someone hammer nails into my head and stop these thoughts?

[envyfilled]

I wish I was the darling instead of the yan, i wish he stalked me, I wish he snuck a secret camera and watched my every move, I wish he let me hear how obsessed he is, I wish..

[envyfilled]

being self aware with bpd sucks. it's like watching your house burn down and not being able to do a damn thing about it

[envyfilled]

bpd girls are dangerous because she disappears for a week and when you talk again she changed so drastically as if she'd been through 3 different wars, witnessed horrors beyond human comprehension, died in the last, got into hell where she was tortured for a time period which seemed like a thousand years then escaped and climbed up from hell just to resurrect but in reality it was just her being alone in her room with her own thoughts for a week

[envyfilled]

i would literally give anything for them to be as obsessed with me as i am with them please for once in my life i'll do anything i just need this so bad

[envyfilled]

"you know me so well." of course I do. you're my favorite thing

[envyfilled]

“What do you bring to the table?”

Abandonment issues 💁‍♀️

[envyfilled]

I hope that you understand how many rules i’m willing to break,and how far i’m willing to stretch myself for you.

[envyfilled]

You can't even begin to imagine... the depths of my greed...and how desperately I want to touch you. How desperately I wish to call you mine.

[envyfilled]

I wish you would tell me you love me more... I wish you would message me more, why can't you be as obsessed as I am? Why can't you show it? Do you actually hate me? Are you only putting up with me?

[envyfilled]

Why is it that you drive me up the wall? Baby, don't you understand that if you take hours to answer, I think you're mad? That you want to leave me? Hate me? Why is it that as soon as you answer, I feel so relieved and yet so filled with dread. Can't you see I need you? Can't you see that you are driving me crazy?

[envyfilled]

Welcome Starlings,

Envy, She/He, 28

This is strictly a vent/musing blog to help cope and to get out my fantasies. No minors. All minors(under 21) and ageless blogs will be blocked on sight.

Envy has diagnosed BPD, Depression, Social Anxiety and ADHD.

Triggering content includes but not limited to; sexual content, somnophilia, kidnapping, murderous intent/fantasies, bdsm, typical yandere themes, depression, suicide mention, obsession, etc.

Status: Taken by My FP (yes, they know I have obsessive tendencies. No, they are not like me)

Tags:

♡ Envy Musings ♡ - general yan/bpd Musings and vent

♡ Envy Speaks ♡ - random thoughts

♡ Envy Desires ♡ - general wants and desires

♡ Envy Thirsts ♡ - Adult themes

♡ Envy Craves ♡ Triggering adult themes i.e. somno, hypnosis, bdsm, choking, kidnapping, etc

♡ Envy Answers ♡ - answered asks

♡ Envy Loves/Hates ♡ - Musings about my fp