esoteric-speaks

[esoteric-speaks]

"So girl, Put your records on!

Tell me your favourite song~

You go ahead and let your hair down

Sapphire and faded jeans,

I hope you get your dreams~

Just go ahead let your hair down~

Oh, you're gonna find yourself somewhere,

Somehow"

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"Golden Brown, texture like sun,

Lays me down, with my mind she runs,

Throughout the night,

No need to fight,

Never a frown,

With golden brown."

*The art doesn't belong to me. Credit: Pinterest*

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"Tu meri adhoori pyaas, pyaas,

Tu aa gayi man ko raas, raas,

Ab toh tu aaja paas, paas,

Hai Guzaarish~

A glimpse in my life lol. It's more empty sky-gazing than you'll realize.

🔹𝖊𝖘𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖈🔹

[esoteric-speaks]

"But who prays for Satan then?"

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'And from the dark into the light,

I saw a storm burst into life.

And in the corner of your eye,

I saw a dream that never died.'

~ Aurora, Soft Universe

[esoteric-speaks]

"I saw you Sirius. I saw how they treated you. I wanted to see that maybe if I listened to them, which you never did, maybe they'll give me what you never had. I wish I had been brave."

~The snake with a lion's heart, Regulus Black

"When I was preparing to go in that cave, I knew I was going to die. I wanted to do the last possible good thing I could've done, even if I knew that will never be enough."

"I wanted to see Walburga mourn the death of what she had spent her life cultivating."

"I would never forget the last day we met Sirius. The day when you had told me you would rather be an only child. That I was no brother to you. That day, I had mourned the loss of the only person who had ever showed me kindness, who had thought I was worth protecting."

"I don't regret it you know? I don't regret dying that way. I was so scared, I had never done something like that. I had never been the vrave one. But I died knowing I at least took a step towards mending something I had never thought was worth mending before."

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Crying over Sirius and Regulus for the nth time this day.

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I'm reading wish magic on ao3 right now and I feel so single just 24 chapters in. I WANNA BE PAMPERED TOO. GIVE ME A HENRY TOO.

[esoteric-speaks]

"Everyone is enticed with the prospect of writing history, Master. But amidst that excitement, they tend to forget the most important element of it all, they forget to make it impartial." - 𝖊𝖘𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖈

[esoteric-speaks]

I have never wanted access to a fictional world so much before but here I am, shaking, literally shaking to somehow tear down my phone and go into the fic I'm reading and just- strangle Dumbledore down. No Dumbledore bashing works for me. But the genuine, genuine shit hurts me in my heart.

The gradual descent.

I'm going to vomit due to all the things I'm feeling. I literally emptied all my monthly stock of tears because it literally hit me so bad as to just how much, how freaking MUCH Harry had gone through.

He was a hero. Yeah he was. But it wasn't an ascent. It was a gradual descent.

[esoteric-speaks]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Sex Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Theodore Nott, Ron Weasley/Blaise Zabini Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, Tracey Davis (Harry Potter), Daphne Greengrass, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Death (Harry Potter), Sirius Black, Remus Lupin Additional Tags: Harry Potter is a Little Shit, Harry Potter is So Done, Draco Malfoy is Bad at Feelings, Harry Potter is Heir to Multiple Noble Houses, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Hermione Granger Has a Plan, Master of Death Harry Potter, Slytherin Harry Potter, Good Slytherins, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Wandless Magic (Harry Potter), Magical Theory (Harry Potter), Time Travel Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Summary:

".𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰."

"POTTER!!" Malfoy jumped between the oncoming slaughter of creatures, giants- elves- it was an undecipherable horde of brethren. The hawthorn wand that once belonged to the blonde skittered across in the air, ending up in the hand of Harry once again.

"YOU TRAITOR-" Bellatrix's voice ringed among the crowd, the familiar green curse slippering from the end of her wand, hitting Draco in the square of his chest.

The seconds ticked, and everyone around watched with bated breath how a scream ripped through Harry's chest, his body limping in the middle of the chaos, his knees finally giving up, his corpse bursting into a stroke of bright light, a burning hot glow that reduced everything in it's wake to mere ash.

In the middle of the explosion laid a single body, the savior of the magical world was dead, not by a curse to the head, not by possessions or basilisks, not by hunger or by losing his magic, his soul splintered, searching for its counterpart, screaming in the eternal flames of nothingness.

 𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝑴𝒚 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰.

[esoteric-speaks]

I feel like I've emptied my stock of tears for the month today. I- wish atleast.

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Anyways, I had read this one somewhere,

Raise your words not your voice.

It's the rain that blooms the flowers, not the thunder.

#Parvana I'll always remember you.

[esoteric-speaks]

I feel like I'm slowly getting promoted to a crybaby. I end up crying at the absolute nonsense things. But maybe I'm also scared. Scared because emotions will always take the best of me. I hope I don't end up failing. I- can't bear to.

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I love this one.

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Doing everything I can do, learning things in case I cannot do it.

I was 8. EIGHT when I was thrown into the kitchen, told that we did not have anyone to cook food and no matter what I had to cook it or we would all go hungry. I didn't KNOW how to do it. I LEARNED IT.

RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

And now, fast forward some years and oh well, I no longer even own some respect in my own house which I keep clean and I keep running it. It's not like I am doing it alone. But it won't happen if I am not there. She on the other hand? MY PARENTS DON'T CARE IF SHE RUNS AWAY OR DOES WHATEVER.

My younger sister which had always grown up carefree from every kind of pressure because I was a given all of them when I was barely a kid treats me like I am a piece of shit or something and instead of correcting her even a bit, instead of putting up a single boundary, my parents let it happen.

OH WELL. Because they know no matter what, no matter what how much I am insulted or treated like an animal, I am so prone to getting manipulated, they can charm me over with just a few words, and I feel like an ass trying to even narrate my feelings now.

I feel like a menace, just trying to keep my head clear by narrating it all out when if I did not do it, I would instead be bottling up tears about it till the day I die.