essysaints

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“Phil, I’ve got rawhide to finish the rope. I wanted to be like you. Please take what I’ve got.”

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last night's dream involved my self witnessing animal cruelty and i woke up angry

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tattoo work by needleshark

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ADHD Dyslexics of the World Unite!!! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

SOURCE

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🐊🦒

- love themmmmm :’(

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"You're still in charge, Benson,, // "I was never in charge, Randy,,

Some screenshots I took from 'The Passenger' and some images off Pinterest - [1] [2] [3]

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all in all the clock is slow six color pictures all in a row

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2024 - 07 - 13

reading about amnesia for one of my original characters... i'm indecisive so i haven't really made any progress on him

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me

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start seeing everything as God, but keep it a secret

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i think i owe it to ethel cain for helping me accept the parts of who i am which i was raised to correct i.e. sexuality, spirituality, mental health

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Ethel Cain: "And so, you know, the Great Dark is not as bad as it sounds. So, on the flip side, we have the hole."

Ethel Cain: “And so, you know, the Great Dark is not as bad as it sounds. So, on the flip side, we have the hole. Jokes aside, the hole is… I love to go there. I love to go whenever I joke with my friends and say, 'Oh, Winter’s coming. I’m going to throw blankets over the windows and go into the hole.’ You know, I’m in my hole. It’s what I always describe as being in this place of darkness and kind of despair, wallowing in self-pity, misery, you know, all those fun things, which I think is fine to go into from time to time as long as you’re not staying there. Which is why I’ve written, 'One can venture into the hole but will enter a perpetual sinking if one neglects to exit in time. They will enter the maze and become stuck forever.’

When you enter the hole, you are basically entering a period and a point of darkness, overwhelming darkness, which is fine. But when you’re in it, you will enter a state of perpetual sinking where you go deeper and deeper. You can never just remain where you are… You will go deeper and deeper. Darkness is inviting, and it will continue to pull you down. So you can go, and I think that there’s a lot to be found in the hole. There’s inspiration, there are answers to maybe the dark questions of yourself. 'What are you afraid of? Why are you afraid of it?’ You know, and I think that’s important to know about yourself. I think it’s an important place to go every now and then. I don’t think that you need to invite people to your pity party if you know that you’re throwing it. If it’s a conscious decision that you make to go into a dark place, like I choose to do often because I enjoy it, and I think that dark places are comforting sometimes to be in—a nest or a cave. Well, not a cave. I’m not a fan of caves, but you know, everybody has that place that they go in their head where they love to feel like bad. Sometimes you just want to feel bad. That sounds counterproductive, but you know that life isn’t about feeling good all the time. Sometimes you want to feel bad. You need to feel bad. Grieving and depression, all those places are kind of natural things that are okay to be in.”

Hayden Anhedönia (Ethel Cain): the ring, the great dark, and proximity to god Full video on YouTube

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Post-Watershed

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Honcho Magazine | June 1979

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A house. Ruined and haunted by heinous acts. To enter is to have fear and anxiety for the rest of your days, if you’re able to leave.