they/fae/rain/fern | 20 | aspec enby lesbian | AO3: fables_aesops
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this is a cry for help

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*crawls out of a dark hole with doctor who fanart after not having posted any art for almost two months* haha hey.
#im being normal abt them again#thinking abt how the doctor is always the one to run away#and the master is the one who wreaks havoc#so much so that he was revived to be a perfect soldier#and in the end#the time war reversed their positions#the doctor became a warrior#and the master ran away#not dissimilar to the ways they act when chameleon arched#the doctor is an asshole and the master is a sweetheart#weird its almost like...#their fates got swapped somehow...#and extenuating circumstances bring out who they could have been#hmmm thats weird#wonder what thats about#also the way they talk to each other in this episode#they really are friends#and theyre both desperate to have what once was#but they go about it in completely different ways#and the doctor is so close to feeling complete#to having someone with him that understands him#and it slips through his fingers#and all he can do is fall to the ground and clutch the body of his best friend and sob#i hate them /pos#thoschei#best enemies#tensimm
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drumbeat

it's like that one painting where the uh. yeah
I wasn't gonna upload this here cause I'm in the middle of binging doctor who rn and I'm scared the tumblr fandom will tear me apart like a pack of stray angry dogs. I am approximately 10 years late to the doctor who tumblr fandom my bad brah
#thinking abt them again#can you tell?#smthn smthn desperately holding onto the past#fighting tooth and nail to keep just this one thing#because without this who are you?#i wonder what id be without you?#and yeah so do i#and that line can be read so many ways#what would i be if i never knew you?#what would i be if i lost you?#you are as much a part of me as my hearts#and i can't bear to lose you#but i dont have a choice#i know i have to let you go#but not yet#not yet#for now i will hold you as tight as i can#and i will put off the inevitable end#because i dont want to know what id be without you#the doctor doesnt like endings#and honestly neither do i#sorry that was my demons#i swear I'm normal#you can let me out of this cage i promise i wont bite#doctor who#tensimm#thoschei#best enemies
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missy says “the doctor kills people too, i just enjoy it more. he’s the farmer, i’m the hunter, you know” and that makes me think she’s intimately aware of the sacrificial lamb paradigm. the lord is my shepherd. companions as beautiful little foals raised for the slaughter. with sorrow, of course, and remorse. the farmer loves every new creature in their flock with an emotional tenderness reserved for children and lovers. he’ll grieve when the butcher comes. he always does. but it’s inevitable. and you can always pretend your pet will live as long as you but fifty dog years are ten of your own. and when the time comes to put them down you’ll blame the vet. you’ll blame whoever has to bleed the calf. you’ll try not to blame yourself. after all, creatures in the wild alone lead such boring, listless lives. you’re showing them the wonders of the cosmos they’d never have seen with their normalcy-blinkered gaze. you’re doing them a favour. you’ll adopt another one. it will thank you as the light leaves its eyes.
but the hunter is evil, you say. the hunter kills willfully, the hunter stalks its prey, the hunter attacks with no mercy. instantly. painlessly, maybe. is that really so much worse?
after all, many moons ago, with a bloodied rock in his hands and the spectre of Death breathing down his neck, the hunter’s future had become the farmer’s first sacrifice. many moons ago, cain was the farmer and abel the hunter. and cain killed abel
#i think about them a normal amount#okay but really#i just#they're so similar#and they hate to admit it#but really they know deep down theyre two sides of the same coin#also im just obsessed with every tiny thing that reveals that the doctor is not the hero he wants us to believe he is#and every moment in which the master isnt quite so villainous#idk if this makes any sense#idk the biblical parellels make brain go brrr#thoschei#twissy#dw#doctor who#arden don't look
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doctor who pls leave me alone
#OBSESSED#do you ever just#think abt how lonely the doctor is#immortality and its inescapable isolation#and all of a sudden he isnt alone anymore#and its not just anyone#its his best friend#dare i say his soulmate#and sure its a little fucked up but when is it not#whatever happens at least he still has his oldest and dearest friend#except he doesn't#because despite everything he does#all the effort he goes through to stop everyone from killing the master#the master gets shot#and its stupid really#theyre time lords#whats one measly bullet to a god?#but it still kills him#the master dies in his arms and there isnt a damn thing he can do about it#and worse than the initial loneliness is the way it comes rushing back after he dared to hope#and also i feel like we focus so much on the doctor's loneliness#(which is fair bc mmmm it is so compelling)#that we forget that the master has functionally just escaped the time war#he was revived to be a soldier#and it scared him so much that he ran away and became human#HE BECAME HUMAN#DO YOU KNOW THE DEPTHS OF DESPERATION IT WOULD TAKE FOR THE MASTER TO WILLINGLY BECOME HUMAN??#they make me insane actually#thoschei#tensimm
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"Laser screwdriver, Who'd have sonic?" Sir that is still a screwdriver. Yes I get it's a thematic parallel to your ex boyfriend but he chose a screwdriver because he wants to lean in to the fact that he doesn't carry a weapon, just a tool, a screwdriver, and even though he never uses it for actual screwdrivery things, it's the symbolism of the matter. You calling it a screwdriver just symbolizes how your kinda obsessed with him. Which, totally fair. But you've made something even less of a screwdriver than the doctors sonic which frankly didn't seem possible until now so congrats on that.
#HE MAKES ME INSANE#I NEED TO BLEND HIM AND INJECT HIM INTO MY VEINS#THIS FUCKING DUMBASS /AFFECTIONATE#tensimm#thoschei#doctor who
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rewatched last of the time lords the other day (bc I'm normal abt them) and "You'll kill yourself, and I know, that's the one thing you could never do" grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go.
so I had the thought abt theta attempting because he was curious about what regeneration felt like but koschei was too scared to join him, and the ramifications that would have on him and koschei, and it wouldn't leave me alone until i wrote this... anyways bone apple teeth or whatever
https://archiveofourown.org/works/66177394
#thoschei#best enemies#doctor who#ao3#koschei oakdown#theta sigma#i hate them#/pos#ok but fr the finale was so bad it cured my writer's block#btw i have a spygatwa fic in the works#but no promises on how long itll take
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I have to believe that Doctor Who can come back one day from wherever the hell it's currently headed and be the show I fell in love with but I never expected to be this uncertain about its future and frankly upset about the direction it's going in.
And I hate being negative about it.
#this#i always thought id be devastated if it got cancelled#but atp it might be a mercy#and coming to terms with that is so hard#bc this show has meant so much to me for so long#and there is literally nothing else like it#but it just keeps getting worse#and sure there have been some absolute bangers recently#but for the most part i just feel sad when i watch it#this show is like the ship of theseus#and i dont know when it happened#but this is no longer the same ship#and the ship that we have currently only serves to make me miss the old ship that much more#and god do i miss the old ship#does this metaphor make any sense?#it got away from me yeah#< meant to be read in david tennant's voice btw#anyways#dw#doctor who#doctor who critical
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don’t exactly know what i was cooking two years ago but i was definitely cooking something

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happy pride month to the doctor and the master specifically
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the ninth doctor always goes crazy to me because he wasn't an ambivalent god. he was the benevolent, scarred, and cynical god who cared because he couldn't not— what if no one else did? if he didn't do something, no one else would. he was the one with the power, the responsibility, and it hurt him constantly. every life he watched burn out was a tragedy. EVERY one. he kissed a servant girl on the head who no one would remember. he closed the eyes of a dead man. he mourned a pig the military shot. he cared for them all, no matter how insignifigant and fleeting their lives could have seemed to his. he knew the weight of his actions. he wasn’t all powerful and untouchable as time and ppl passed around him. he wasn’t above them. he walked among them n cradled them gently. he was a little mean and a little rude and a lot angry but he also had so much joy. he loved knowing he'd lose. and when he regenerated, he simply looked to rose with that big grin on his face and told her she was fantastic & and so was he — considerate in even his final breaths
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This may or may not be the dumbest shit anyone has ever created. But it makes me very happy, and I have to share.
I sat up in a neurodivergent cold-sweat earlier this morning, with sudden knowledge of how similar some of the bits of the Magnus Theme and The Phantom of the Opera Overture are...
So, to go along with my art:
(Sound on)
👁️
👁️
👁️
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seasons 14 and 15 of doctor who perfectly nail the agonising swings between incredible quality and the depths of despair. what do you mean the talons of weng-chiang is in between the robots of death and the horror of fang rock
#nuwho 🤝 classic who#having s14 and 15 swing from banger to trainwreck#(imo)#doctor who#arden don't look
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“ncuti wanted to go it’s not Russell’s fault”
okay, so he wanted to leave and end his run, that’s not the fucking point. the point is instead of giving the first black queer doctor in history a monumental final arc to match the monumental performance you center white characters, white storylines, and blow a kiss to the side of the fandom that didn’t want ncuti in the first place.
you tucked your racist fans into bed with a story about a white boy getting everything he ever wanted and a nice rose colored glass of nostalgia in case they get thirsty. they don’t have to worry, there’s no black man hiding under the bed, he’s gone, they’re finally safe.
so no, it doesn’t matter if ncuti told rtd he was leaving two minutes after they wrapped, he deserved dignity and respect and that was not present.
#like#are people not considering that maybe theres a reason why he chose to leave??#need i remind you what happened to Eccleston??#we wont know for sure unless ncuti or rtd tell us#but also it is very possible that ncuti saw the way rtd was treating certain characters and decided he was done#idk tho#anti rtd#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#dw spoilers#arden don't look
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ik it got overshadowed by the absolute clusterfuck that was that episode, but can we acknowledge how bad the recap at the very start was??? no plot relevant information, not even a mention of wish world, just "'u can't stop me lol' 'RANIIIIIII'" like ????? literally what was that? what's the point of having an episode recap if it doesn't, yk, recap the episode? like ik this is stupid and minute compared to all the other issues w this ep, but like how do you fuck up something so simple???
#russell im in your walls#the reality war#doctor who#dw spoilers#doctor who spoilers#arden don't look
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What, and I say this from the bottom of my heart, the fuck
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