fadavitalis

[fadavitalis]

Okay, apparently some people don't know this and that's not gonna do on my blog. So as we used to say on this hellsite,

sit down and shut up because I'm about to learn you a thing

This:

is the ORIGINAL polyamory pride flag. Jim Evans created it in 1995 in fucking MS Paint. Not using hearts was an intentional choice to: avoid stepping on the leather pride flag's toes, allow people to use it without immediately outing themselves to those not in the know, and be easily input into MS Paint. The infinity heart symbol did not exist at the time and certainly wasn't available in MS motherfucking Paint. The color symbolism is blue for honesty, red for love, black⚫ in solidarity for those that cannot be out to the world at large, and gold for the high value of each relationship. sources (x, x)

There are valid complaints that people want a pride flag that does advertise what they are, and that this design is hard on the eyes. However. Many polyamorous people still use this flag to represent themselves, most of them 35+ years old. As a personal favor to me, please do not say you hate this flag. Say the colors are too bright till you're blue in the face, sure. But to openly hate this flag is to disparage your predecessors and denounce your history.

The earliest polyamory pride flag to incorporate the infinity heart symbol that I could find actually made its debut on tumblr in 2016. The infinity heart was established as a polyamory pride symbol by this time. ratlab-art intentionally kept the original color symbolism, while using hues generally considered a little more pleasant to look at.

This one, obviously, set the precedent for numerous other iterations of the same idea -- tweaking the colors, swapping the pi for the infinity heart. I will not be posting all of them, because I doubt I could track them all down anyway. The icon I currently use on this blog is one such iteration. But this one uniquely puts the black stripe in the middle, which does make for a nice contrast with the gold.

and of course

This is the "new poly flag" designed by Red Howell for the polyamproud online vote, which took place in 2022. They call it the "tricolor polyamory pride flag" (presumably, not to distinguish it from the other established flags, but to distinguish it only from the others that were in their run-off) Its symbolism is as follows: the triangle ▶️points forward for progress and is off-center to represent the non-traditional nature of polyamory, white⚪ represents possibility, blue for honestly, magenta for love, purple for unity in the community, gold for perseverance, and obviously the heart for love.

It has garnered controversy, because they kind of... openly disparaged every previous polyamory flag and claim theirs is the one true poly flag. They do still say you can use any flag you like, but the whole vote was predicated on the assumption that no one wanted the existing designs, and no pre-existing designs were included in the vote. And that it was bad to have variants of the same flag, even though you see that with many pride flags, including the rainbow flag. Many old school polyams still don't know this design, let alone that there was a single vote years ago, which they missed. However. This flag has quickly become a popular design, especially among the younger generation. So if you would be so kind, please do not say you hate this flag. Say you're frustrated with how the process of choosing it happened, by all means. But to openly hate this flag is to disparage the next generation and sever yourself from new directions in the community.

finally,

A couple of honorable mentions made by Emma Essex in 2019 and Molly Colleen Bennett Wilvich in 2020, respectively. They don't get full write-ups, but they're an additional couple of the more unique (without being downright obscure) flag designs.

Go forth with pride and knowledge,

[fadavitalis]

AUTISTIC POLYAM MOOD: Wanting to get to know your metamour better, so they put on video essays about their special interest so you can watch them together.

WAIT HOLD UP THIS IS SO SWEET🎊

I'm so glad y'all got to have that bonding time!! I hope everyone appreciated it for what it was, that's just perfect. Maybe next time it can be your special interests🤔? For fairness?

Love it when I can get along with my metamours💙💖🖤 much love to everyone involved, this sounds so precious

[fadavitalis]

Y'know what. Shoutout to AMAB demiboys and AFAB demigirls. Keep being you, you're doing amazing!

[fadavitalis]

An unintentional sonnet, but a beautiful one nonetheless 💕

You say I find joy in the small things.

I ask you where else should I find it?

In the big things, it seems all is just falling apart.

The joy once there evaporated.

It's all just falling apart, and I know i'm not alone in this.

So joy I will find where ever I can get it, in however small amounts.

What other options are there? Eternally living in darkness isn't for anyone.

So joy I will find in the first green leaf of spring.

So joy I will find in the bright colours of all the flowers.

So joy I will find in the cozy wamth of winter.

[fadavitalis]

Love the positive twist at the end, it really sent the feels home for me 💕

I planned out the journey of a lifetime, but it wasn't for me.

I always missed the bus, so I never moved.

I always missed the tram, so I never got the pet.

I always missed the train, so I never got the wedding.

I always missed the plane,  so I never got a baby.

I caught the next bus, and so I found the keys to a house with space for all my hobbies.

I caught the next tram, and so I got a pet better suited to me.

I caught the next train, and so I found more joy then I ever thought I would.

I caught the next plane, because I had all the time in the world.

The life we live doesn't always go as planned, and maybe that is for the best.

The life we live becomes so mush better, if we just aim for happiness.

And suddenly, we can find it everywhere.

[fadavitalis]

[fadavitalis]

im going to start writing winx club fics. watch me

[fadavitalis]

I would be sobbing, if I hadn't already cried so much today. Thank you for this beautiful piece. ❤️

A Reason to Burn

"I love you, I love you deeply"

Like air, I wanted your presence.

Like an addiction, it was never enough.

I was willing to burn, no matter how much, if it was just for you, for us.

I took the jump, left behind the life I knew.

You took steps, away from the familiar.

You were willing to burn for me, for us.

Like an addiction, it could not be sustained.

Like water, you would end up drowning.

We would always burn for the other.

And it ended, when we became the reason we were burning at all.

[fadavitalis]

Farewell online privacy

[fadavitalis]

While this poem is gorgeous and heartfelt... I can't help but finding the ad underneath it hilariously out of place and funny on its own.

Home

Once this place was called home. Now, lost in nostalgia. Familiar, yet unknown.

The faces, in longing to be seen.

Once filled with love and comfort.

Now, found in melancholy. Familiar, yet unexplored.

The faces, in preferance avoided.

Once a home.

Now, sought in memory.

Familiar, yet no more to me.

The faces, in wishes above the soil.

What is left, but a city filled with strangers.

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I wrote this about halfway last year, having moved out of my birthplace just a few cities over, thisnis a feeling i get that just grows stronger, even if i feel i cant put it in simple words. But hey, thats what writing is for no?

[fadavitalis]

Ain't that the reality of neurodivergency? The balancing act of seeking stims with being overstimmed. It's water and oil, the ADHD and the autism, but somehow they're still there at the same time.

Yesterday's energy felt endless

So seemed the possibilities

As it disappeared

So did the world

"I think therefore i am"

Barely a thought.

Today's energy is dissipated

So seem the possibilities

As it shines brighter

So does the world

"I think therefore i am"

A given not worth second guessing.

Tomorrow's energy always ephemeral

So are the possibilities

As it chains us

So does the world.

-----------------------

I sometimes get a bit fustrated with myself, the amount of energy i need for things can be so unpredictable. I know i need to plan in rest, and at times i do so when i dont need it, skipping over things i do want to do. Other times i forget i need to rest and i go through the day like a zombie(i try to not cancel anything, thats on me).

You'd think ill find some balance, but nope, every so often i forget how i work and so the cycle continues.

[fadavitalis]

It's giving "Alors on Danse" by Stromae

"We go out to forget all our problems, so we dance"

I close my eyes, and i see a vision of a life i once lived.

The live i never wanted, and i now long for like a loved one that passed away.

A vision of closeness, of a collective, all unique, yet together.

United by music, freed by the rythm. All together to carelessly dance like there is no tomorrow.

Maybe thats it, for many of us, tomorrow represented a nightmare we didnt want to live in, and yesterday we only found hurt and trauma.

So we danced, we danced as if nothing else existed.

There, we were free, pure energy.

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A short one, i used to work in a night club and after my shift i was often just allowed to join the guests, it was always intence and i didnt quite get why people liked it.

Well, when i got the inspiration and wrote this, safe to say, yes i finely got it. Cant say i miss those days, though i do have a certain fondness of some parts and memories.

[fadavitalis]

this poly shit is crazyyyy you can tease your girlfriend for having a crush on someone

[fadavitalis]

This is your sign to keep your childlike wonder and imagination alive, to share stories like these, and inspire others to write and experience them too. Look at the waterdrop on a blossom and dream about what pixie shaped it so perfectly round and crystal clear. Look at the veins on a fresh leaf of a bush and how each line on it is unique.

The world is banal, trying to kill dreams. Everything and everyone tells you to grow up and leave dreams behind. Don't, don't ever stop dreaming, for dreams make life a little more worth living.

I used to think, that every star in the night sky represented a soul here on earth.

Science came around, and told me there are so many more stars then there will ever be and ever were humans.

I changed the way i thought about it, i figured, we still are stardust.

Yet, i felt ever more alone. Instead of looking up, and seeing all souls that ever were, and ever will be, and feeling that connection. I started to see just some lights, more and more.

I felt ever more alone.

I felt more and more disconnected, like i was the only one. None would ever hear me, none would ever understand me.

I wasn't sure why this year the perseids mattered so much more to me then most years. The easy reason was last year, a story on its own, and ofcourse the childhood memories it's connected with.

I thought it would fix something within me, or at least give me some time to relax and reflect.

It certainly did.

I see now, that i have been missing magic, and ideals, connections, and most of all, the bigger dreams, the ones made by wonder before science came along.

I now have a new story to tell.

We look up at the sky, and we see billions of stars, every soul that was, every soul that will ever be and so many more.

Most souls are happy up there, it's a sight to behold, all of them in unison, in peace.

But, some want more, they long for a life with more wonder, with more dreams and wishes.

And so it came to be, once per year, these souls get a special permission, to come and visit earth. They may even stay if they want, but most are just visiting.

And thats okey. Like us humans, they get a taste of life, and make a choice.

For them, it's a simple one, do they want to stay, or do they want to leave?

The ones who choose to stay, will get forever more choices.

For some of those, they grow up and realise, they miss home. So they look up, to where they came from, and will forever long for it.

And once a year, their siblings will come to visit, to tell them, it will all be okey, all you have to do, is make a wish.

------------------------------

This story ties into my life's philosophy and ideals. Living in the city it can be easy to forget all of this, never really seeing any stars, and add to a feeling of disconnect. I've moved and changed a lot since then, but I will say: I do go and see the Perseids every year now, my only holiday every year. That feels like it's enough.

[fadavitalis]

[fadavitalis]

when they tell us to hide, i will smile at them.

when they tell us to see truth, i will talk to them.

when they tell us to die, i will wave at them.

when they tell us to be hanged, i will hug them.

so i would say, were i a saint.

so i would say, were i a witch.

so i would say, were i a monk.

so i would say, were i a lamb

i feel for our siblings.

i feel fury.

i feel hate.

i feel what they feel.

i want to be better.

i want this to cease.

we just want love.

we just want peace.

--------------------------------

I think, when i originally wrote this, it was at a time queer rights in america were underfire, some 8 Years ago. i dont like to be angry, i dont like to (imply to) harm anyone, but it can be a challange to always be better, be bigger.

Now, so many years later, similar things are going on, and once more i feel this same anger.

It felt apropriate to share this because of all that.

[fadavitalis]

when they tell us to hide, i will smile at them.

when they tell us to see truth, i will talk to them.

when they tell us to die, i will wave at them.

when they tell us to be hanged, i will hug them.

so i would say, were i a saint.

so i would say, were i a witch.

so i would say, were i a monk.

so i would say, were i a lamb

i feel for our siblings.

i feel fury.

i feel hate.

i feel what they feel.

i want to be better.

i want this to cease.

we just want love.

we just want peace.

--------------------------------

I think, when i originally wrote this, it was at a time queer rights in america were underfire, some 8 Years ago. i dont like to be angry, i dont like to (imply to) harm anyone, but it can be a challange to always be better, be bigger.

Now, so many years later, similar things are going on, and once more i feel this same anger.

It felt apropriate to share this because of all that.