feelingepiphany

[feelingepiphany]

A-lowkey-insult?

Have you ever been hit by a comment that wasn’t outright offensive, but still left you questioning yourself?

I call this a lowkey insult....?

Walking outside and ran into someone you knew. You smiled, and they asked, "What are you doing here? Are you already hungry?" then laughed.

It wasn’t a direct insult, but you couldn't help but wonder why that question, of all things.

Goofing around with friends, being silly, and accidentally sat on someone’s lap. They joked, "You don’t realize how heavy you are, do you?"

It wasn’t meant to be mean, but the sting was still there.

Or when complaining about being hungry, and someone told you to eat so you wouldn’t lose your figure—again, with a laugh.

Suddenly, your appetite was gone.

The worst part? These comments often come from those people who are vocal about hating body/appearance shaming.

While these insults are normally subtle and harmless, it could pile up

[feelingepiphany]

I hate and love the fact that I can only write when my heart bleeds

[feelingepiphany]

When you say hurtful things and expect me to just laugh it off, you call it maturity.

But when I get hurt, cry, and feel my emotions deeply, I am labeled as immature.

[feelingepiphany]

Why it's always "You're too sensitive" instead of "Your words are too insensitive."

[feelingepiphany]

The day when two lost souls found their own bodies.....

I am a lost soul,

and you were my body before.

You are a lost soul

and I used to be your body.

We are meant to be one

our soul and body are inseparable

my soul is yours

your body is mine

But we are just two souls with bodies — Looks complete, but a total mismatch

We are whole,

but never together

When the two souls depart

their own bodies are found

They became one with themselves

finally finding their match

[feelingepiphany]

Love me by loving yourself

[feelingepiphany]

Sometimes I wonder about how you think about me, how you talk behind me, how you walk without me and how you share me when you're happy or mad at me.

Sometimes I wonder about how I think about you, how I talk behind you, how I walk without you and how I share you when I am happy or mad about you.

Sometimes I ponder about how the two contradicts because when you hear mine, you'll reflect but when I hear yours I cry.

[feelingepiphany]

I look

in the mirror

and see

how

beautiful

I am

when

I cry

and that's

where

I understand

you.

[feelingepiphany]

I don't know if I should be happy or sad because I can't write poems lately where I mostly express my vulnerability and heavy soul within.

Am I feeling happier or more lost?

[feelingepiphany]

To all those who ruin my confidence and view of myself, thank you for teaching me to not be like you and to not let others feel what you make me feel.

[feelingepiphany]

I still don't get those people who don't understand the power of words to destroy. Making people uncomfortable and ruining their self-view and confidence with their utters. If called out, defend it with just a 'joke' and have the audacity to make the victim feel too dramatic and sensitive. It was supposed to be a joke, but why am I now under my bed crying?

[feelingepiphany]

Sometimes..

I want you to know

but I don't wanna talk

I don't wanna talk

but I want you to know

sometimes...

[feelingepiphany]

Dear self,

I know these days that you can't stop crying over things that you even don't understand. You easily get tired of easy things, mad at small things, and annoyed by silly jokes. You hate yourself more because you don't like what you are doing and feeling, and you start to invalidate your emotions. You don't like compliments because you feel that they are just trying to comfort you and seem like an act for you, but actually, they really do console you. I know you don't like how you look right now, and you always tend to compare yourself to others, wishing to be like them. You are frustrated with yourself and hating everything about you. I know all your breakdowns at night; I hear all your restrained cries and see your unsaid words. You are being too hard on yourself. Do you want to rest? I want to rest forever.

[feelingepiphany]

“She struggled with her sadness, but tried to conceal it, to divide it into smaller and smaller parts and scatter these in places she thought no one would find them.”

— Nicole Krauss

[feelingepiphany]

And if someday  the uncertainty of this world  becomes too overwhelming,  I hope you remember  that some mysteries  aren’t meant to be solved,  they’re meant  to be lived.

[feelingepiphany]

Before, I wanted to have my own room so I could choose the pink paint on my wall, but now I just want to have one so no one will see me now that I'm crying.

[feelingepiphany]

It's hard to give help when you need it too.

I'm sorry for not always being available to all of you. I am not your pretentious or fake friend, but a human who struggles too. It's just been heavy lately, and I am also needing help.