fishyrice

[fishyrice]

Have I posted child fierro here? Idk but I'm posting him again if I alry have

The scraggly stick figure is his mother telling him to probably not anger the gold tooth drug dealer, or atleast she's trying to

We don't question what is b e h i n d the paper-

[fishyrice]

It's not supposed to look like crowley but it does

To an extent at least

My physics teacher saw me drawing this

Pls don't repost without permission

[fishyrice]

The pain i suffered while doing his hair with a very tiny detail brush and using watercolors-

I drew this 3 months ago but it's one of the best things I've drawn this year

Please don't repost this or if you do pls give credits and ask for permission (tho idk if this is worth reposting and stealing)

[fishyrice]

ep.3

Micah?

I’m staring at the very distinct head of always perfectly done brown hair. That is definitely Micah. The blonde roots of his hair are peaking out, I tug slightly at Sofia’s skirt to make look in the direction I’m pointing.

“Micah?” she says, she’s as puzzled as I am , mainly because 1) Micah’s supposed to be sick and 2) Micah’s Jacob’s husband. There are probably a bazillion different reasons as to why he’s actually here but the one at the top it : he’s cheating.

Though it seems weird because Micah is practically the Virgin Mary personified-to an extent at least. Sofi’s making her way to him across the sea of people, it’s easy to follow her because 1) she’s really (really) tall and 2) she moves across the sea of people like a ballet dancer. It amazes me she hasn’t stepped on someone’s toe or fallen over yet.

I follow the dark sage green crochet sweater until we both are right behind Micah.

She taps on his shoulder. He jumps. He turns around slowly like we’re in a movie and he’s expecting a gun pointed at his head. He looks almost relieved it’s us. Micah’s startled blue-grey eyes relax, and he smiles nervously.

“H-hello you two” he says

“You’re supposed to be  sick” Sofia says, the way she says it makes you feel like you’re five and your mother is telling you off about throwing a boy then his brother into a ditch just because they pulled your hair and made fun of you.

“Surprise?” Micah says,

“What are you doing here?” I ask , I know Sofia would turn this into a good cop, bad cop roleplay and I do not want that.

“Trying to find Jacob”

You know that text you send to people when they type something you don’t understand, the multiple questions marks text-“??????” - , that is my exact face expression, thankfully Micah is one of those rare men who can actually catch a hint, whether or not it’s because he’s gay , I don’t really know.

“I’m organizing a party” he adds seeing my face expression, I don’t if the words organizing a party are supposed to help this situation.

“Right because that’s what you do  when you lie to your husband about being sick” Sofia retorts I can tell for a  fact that she’s confused.

“The person I have to talk to is a very private man, and I’d rather not mess up the preparations for Jacob’s birthday par-“

“Jacob’s birthday party?”

“Yes.”

“THAT’S TWO MONTHS AWAY YOU GIT-“

“BUT IT’S IMPORTANT!”

“SHUT UP YOU BOTH!” I yell, I will not let an argument ensue between Sofia and Micah. I don’t have the energy to let that happen today. I step on Micah’s foot. He cries out in pain hopping slightly on one foot. Sofia tries to stifle her laugh before trying to act stern and tick him off.

I can see how Jacob and Micah lasted for so long, they both are idiots. Gay idiots to be very exact.

One of them really likes glitter.

Sofia in the process of explaining something to Micah and I honestly don’t care, I think 15 minutes of our lunch break were spent on this specific issue, I do not want to spend any more.

Sofia’s saying something, something, I really-

“CASSANDRA, DO YOU THINK I’M RIGHT OR NOT?” by her tone of voice and expression I can tell  I should’ve answered the first time, I should not have pulled out my phone and stared scrolling baby turtle videos.

“uh-yea very right Sofi” I say , she nods happily and continues her explanation, I can tell Micah wants to be out this conversation, if this was any other person he could probably make an excuse and leave, however this is not any person this is Sofi.

I continue scrolling through baby turtle videos. I don’t think half of the animals I watch exist, if they do it’s probably in very small numbers in zoo’s or something , the only animals that are properly thriving are cats.

 It’s always cats.

[fishyrice]

Mella Sonder -from inkwyrm (podcast) - the world's most useless lesbian <3

[fishyrice]

ep.2 (i still don't kno the title-)

I can hear Sofia typing in the space next to mine, she has this very specific way of doing things it’s almost autistic in nature. Not that I care, fact is I like it, its rhythmic , Sofi is one of the few people I can tolerate without wanting to jump out a window.

I’m on my 198th cat video of the day. Three hours have passed. I have accomplished nothing.

I want to turn my screen off and actually be productive, but I can’t really bring myself to want to do my work, so I won’t do it.

I’ll just wallow in self-hatred and sadness in my tiny colorless cubicle until I melt and become one with my phone.

I have finally stopped watching cat videos. Now I’m watching fox videos instead. Half of them are probably AI which is why they look so uncanny valley, but I could care less.

See there’s a difference between people like me and people like Jacob and Sofia. They have hobbies. They have an actual life that they somehow manage to enjoy. I don’t have a hobby, except watching cat videos. And I have life, but I never feel like I’m living it. I could change jobs but that requires effort and talking to old balding men in grey suits while some weirdo AI robot asses you physically. I don’t even have the energy to get out bed in the mornings, people can’t expect me to want to get up and actually talk.

I’m not even paying attention to my fox videos anymore. I’m just staring at the digital clock in out office. I’m watching the second change, 35, 36,37, 38,39, 40, 41-

I’m back to watching my fox videos. I’m probably on my 60th fox video of the day before the beeping begins.

God I hate that noise.

The Beeper is a machine that tells you when it’s time for lunch, if there’s one thing more annoying than Jacob it’s the Beeper. The people all around suddenly become Olympic track jumpers and practically fly towards the canteen.

See this proves my point, nobody likes their work, everybody probably watches animal videos all day long  except Jacob, Jacob is a force of nature you should never approach.

How Micah was able to live, laugh, love with Jacob all these years is a mystery.

“Cass, cass, cass, cass, cass , cass ,cass, cass ,cass ,cass-“Sofi’s probably said my name 50 times in the 1 minute that has passed.

“If you go one second faster and are able to fit 10 more cass’s into that sentence Sofi you’ll say one ‘Cass’ per second in a minute“ I tell her while getting up from my seat.

By average woman standards I’m a fairly good height but by Sofi’s standards I’m a dwarf.

She’s a whole head taller than me and the fact that wears heels make her look terrifying. Ethereally terrifying. Sometimes I wonder how she manages to get up so early and actually properly get ready and manage to keep it up the whole day. Sofia almost always looks like she walked out of some really aesthetic Pinterest board.

“CASSANDRA” she bellows, I never knew people could actually bellow out words because I always thought it was something characters in books do, then I met Sofia.

“Yes, yes I’m coming “ I say sliding my phone in my pocket, at some point the fox videos changed to turtles.

We’re making our way to the canteen, Sofia’s chattering to me, sometimes I wonder how her mouth never gets tired from all the speaking but then I think of Jacob and the thought goes away.

[fishyrice]

i'm writing something, idk what it is but it's smthg

“Hi Cassandra!” a familiar voice says to me in the elevator, it’s Jacob. It’s always Jacob. He does this to everyone, whether he actually has that much energy and enthusiasm or is being controlled by the devil to do this is something I don’t know and possibly never will mainly because I don’t have the energy to ask why.

“Hey Jacob, how’s Micah doing, is he still sick?”

“Yea, nasty stomach bug” Jacob chuckled

The first words that come into mind when you see  Jacob are “ he watched my little pony as a child (probably still does) he really,  really,  really,  REALLY likes glitter and he’s gay” all these statements would be true except the second one. He really, really, really, really, really, REALLY likes glitter.  I could feel the will to live leaving my soul and entering Jacob’s 6ft tall stature, the funny thing is that unless Jacob opens his mouth he looks like the type of guy who used to get beat up by his father a lot, to the point where you can’t tell if he has scars for his skin or not.

No one really bothers about Jacob too much; he does his job well and that all that matters.

I step out of the elevator. I can see one dyed strawberry red head of hair look up to see who’s coming in. I know that one dyed strawberry red head of hair. The doors close behind me , no Jacob thankfully. Its silent. Its always silent. Sometimes I wish could just casually throw someone out of a window just to see what would happen to the silence and other times I want throw myself out of a window.

“HIII BESTIE! “, says Sofia. She took forever to decide on a name after she transitioned, it was fun when it was over but then she worked up on what spelling of Sofia she should use eventually she went with s-o-f-i-a  all the better for me because I could finally stop calling her “she and her” and just saying “dyed strawberry red haired person”

“Hi Sofi”, I mutter sitting down at my desk and table, I want to bash my head into the computer but knowing the technology these days the computer would probably sustain more damage than me.

I turn on the computer. I wait for it to load. I click sign in. I sign in. I start work.

I don’t really know what my work is. Its just work. I don’t even do it half of the time. The AI does it for me, so I just scroll cat videos all day long. I like to imagine this is what everyone else does, that they are as underachieving and as bad at their jobs as me and that they too watch cat or any other animal videos all day long while the AI does their work for them.  

Then I remember that people like Jacob exist, and I start spiraling into a pit of self-hatred but then I remember that as long as I get the job done and its good enough for me to not get fired and have a stable job, I’m fine the way I am.

[fishyrice]

idk?

sometimes i wish i could just lock myself up in my room with my devices and all my stuff and never come out, like technically i don't need to see my friends, i can talk to them online, i just want stay inside my little bubble and never have to come out and face the real world, everyone hypes "the real world" up so much that it scares me

tl;dr - i wanna become a hermit (impossible dream ik-)