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https://www.instagram.com/p/BjKOSeSBvdp/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1jihagp4w99o1

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Cordial is so photogenic

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I am nothing but fucking chaos.

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My life has seen so many changes in the past few months.

Basically since last august (honestly more like last march), life has just been throwing one trigger after another at me. I’ve been dealing with my childhood trauma again since then. I’ve lost several close connections with friends, who I’ve know for most of my life, that I considered family. In the past year I have had to deal with my abusive mother so fucking much. Overwhelmingly much. 

I moved at the beginning of this year, due to some of my lost connections I was unable to stay in the place I had been at for the past 3.5 years. I was fortunate enough to have a safe place to move in with my partner, metamour, and a bunch of other rad queers. I’ve also managed to get 3 p/t jobs within the first 2 months of my move. Things have just been so overwhelming and busy since I moved, and a month after I moved in we moved to a bigger spot (which has mostly been fucking great). 

It just feels like there is so much to process, and not enough time to do it. I’m trying to find my footing again though, trying to get grounded. My tools are scattered all over the place, i’m a weird misshapen puddle of goo, but *i’m gonna get it together.* 

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gathering thoughts.

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Iris Schieferstein  / Angels heaven

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ultimately i think kindness is the most radical thing you can do with your pain and your anger. it’s like, you take everything awful that’s ever been done to you, and you throw it back in the world’s teeth, and you say no, fuck you, i’m not going to take this.  you say this is unacceptable. you say that shit stops with me.

humans are fucking terrible and this awful world we live in will fucking kill you but if you are kind, if you are brave and clever and try really hard, you can defy it. you can impose on this bleak and monstrous structure something beautiful. even if it’s temporary. even if it doesn’t heal anything inside you that’s been hurt.  

i’m gonna sleep and i’m gonna wake up and i swear by everything in this deadly horrible universe i’m gonna make someone happy. 

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Kerry James Marshall - Portrait of a Curator (In Memory of Beryl Wright), 2009

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A very big boy

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Instagram: @saison.mousery