fortemelody

[fortemelody]

:-O

[fortemelody]

hi chat it’s 2 am posting once again but my message is actually short this time. this is officially an usagi appreciation post. i love this fat little fuck soooooo much, he is my obsession rn and so much so that i bought a plushie of him today (also put some gifs under the cut for shits and giggles). that is all i heart my gluttonous king 🙏

[fortemelody]

im tryna go freak4freak, loser4loser perhaps

[fortemelody]

top surgery tats

[fortemelody]

okay so just to preference this becus i reread it and it doesn’t make a lot of sense and it’s kinda misleading so HELPPP 💀 this is gonna be a long ass rant mostly about being trans and gay and freaky however i tie it into vocaloid in the beginning becus i’m a #nerd…

yknow. as a huge vocaloid fan of like 5 years and a chronic tiktok user, i’m gonna be hearing whatever song is popular a lot. i remember when confessions of a rotten girl came out i definitely understood the hype becus musically it’s a bop. and i also very much agreed with the “don’t let christian ideology stop you from doing what you love sentiment”. however i didn’t really relate to well… what miku was actually *doing* becus i was asexual.

so uhm. fast forward many many months (to today) and i accidentally just read yaoi for like. 4 fucking hours straight. and now it’s 2 am. i am now laying in my bed and wallowing/rotting in shame (just like miku fr fr)

oh no.

like chat i see sooo many memes about how like yaoi obsessed girls in middle school end up turning into trans gay boys (and in addition fanart of a genderbent/trans miku associated with this song) and uhm. how do i explain that i somehow just manifested this shit into my reality.

and the sad part is i am nawt a confused middle schooler… I AM 18. FULL ADULT. WHATTTT?!?

okay well tbf… the trans part at least partially checks out. i’ve been out to my friends as genderfluid for 4 years now, however, i feel like i tend not to talk about it with them very much. it genuinely started out as something not worth mentioning becus i wouldn’t feel masc very often at all for long periods of time, but tbh now it’s more just kinda like me being an awkward bitch about it / being difficult to describe.

and the asexual thing… idk i feel like i’ve kinda known for around a year now that i’m prob on the lesser side of the spectrum that i thought i once was. like it’s kinda odd becus would i ever do the you know what with someone irl? H-HELL NAHHH🗣️🗣️ but do i somewhat (to an extent) enjoy reading about men being freaky and then #feelthings?? H-HELL YEAHHH 🗣️🗣️ i just kinda have a feeling that maybe i never considered 1. i can enjoy reading freaky media without it actually happening to me and 2. my freak mode definitely just turned on out of nowhere when i started to feel masc again and so maybe i truly don’t feel like that very much as a girl

this was a very long winded way of saying that lowkey i prob won’t even put my sexuality in a label anymore and i’m just gonna be considered queer becus i would rather not stress about all this anymore than i already just did while writing out this yap helpppp 😭 (although it very much helped me cope writing this)

anyways i lowkey hope this made some amount of sense like i said it’s late and i hope that even in my rambles that this might be relatable to some of u that might be having new lgbtq+ expiriences cus ik it can be very scary, i’m here for u as we go thru it together 🫶🫶🫶

[fortemelody]

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[fortemelody]

Silly

[fortemelody]

a very difficult mistake to remedy

[fortemelody]

Happy Mother’s Day to Tails’ mom, dad, and picket fence

Honoring single teen mothers

[fortemelody]

I can’t believe I didn’t post this. Belle the Tinkerer my beloved 💚🩷💛🤍🧡

[fortemelody]

the future we were promised

[fortemelody]

🌻

[fortemelody]

Sonic and Amy having a good time(?) at the beach!

[fortemelody]

So, how could I dance with another, oh

When I saw her standin' there?

[fortemelody]

“what media shaped you as a person?” you see i could definitely say like a million different things that are completely normal but like also what if i told you it was the sonamy boom dating sim huh what would you do then huh

[fortemelody]

Love Me Not

oooohhh my god, how much i love this song.

me trying not to constantly associate a song with a fictional character challenge: impossible

this song reminds me of her waaaay too much, i know that in canon she doesn't really struggle with her feelings towards sonic, she fully accepts them and later on kind of lets go of them (frontiers)

but i do like the idea that she might actually struggle with her yearning, maybe she even does eventually get to be with sonic but there's always a distance that she feels and is aware of, like in the song she realizes that she's independent ("oh no i don't need you") but her longing is too strong ("but i miss you come here")

like i do imagine that if sonamy was somehow something to have happened pre frontiers, where Amy hadn't yet self-reflected and sonic hadn't yet thought about her the way he does when she's stuck in cyberspace, their relationship would be very one sided. sonic would be dating her yes, but he'd always be off to adventures without much thought for her feelings, and amy would probably be left waiting, receiving love and then losing it, making her yearning worse.

uhhh enough with the doomed sonamy tangent

GO LISTEN TO THE SONG IF YOU DON'T KNOW IT!!!

it's Love Me Not by Ravyn Lenae

(i'm not leaving the link cause tumblr believes it would make my post in need of a content warning label)

[fortemelody]

got that thang on him