forwhatitsworthifatall

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

These past couple of days have been rough. I feel like everything collapses and falls into itself. In moments like these I realise how important it is that I am gentle. To myself the most. I did a lot, I accomplished many things despite struggling most of the time and that is good. I didn’t stop at my lowest, instead I kept going and now what I call my lowest is not as low as it was before and that is good. Progress is so quiet that it’s almost invisible unless you know where to find it.

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

Still just visiting... It may all be temporary, but Mimic still loves you. :]

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

I managed to not let my succulent die so far. Usually they don’t last any longer than 4 weeks in my care. I tend to overwater them. But this one has been alive for more than double that time. I’m proud. Something is still alive because I (to my standards) neglected it.

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

The last family owned bakery in my hometown closed yesterday. There are still enough bakeries here so it’s not like I’ll be out of bread any time soon. It just feels weird. The handwritten signs out front are gone and replaced by the same yellow logo that the new bakery on the other side of town has as well. And the one close to my bus stop has it too. And it’s not just the bakeries. It’s these oddly specific little stores that sold niche things and offered niche services. I can’t remember the last time I went to a seamstress to get my favourite jacket patched up. That service would have been more expensive than that jacket itself. It’s not like I could afford it either. It’s easier for me to just get a new jacket and then repeat the cycle next time as well. This is how it’s partially my fault that bakery closed. Of course nobody looks at me and points their finger, blaming the closing of this business on me. But I did play a part in it. Like everyone else I’m a pawn in this game. I have no choice but to move the way that I am moved, at least not if I want to stay on the board.

So I’m gonna do the same thing I do every other time I saw a small business be replaced by a chain. I complain about it to the void and then go buy the cheapest bread. If I won’t I might not buy bread at all.

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

I've gotten back into crocheting. It's calming but sometimes it makes me cry cause. I guess I'm not used to calm

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

Average 2020s movie being "too political": girl power! quick background kiss between two gay extras! one single black guy!

Average "non-political" 70s movie: the government is hiding a global conspiracy that is warming the planet and will kill us all and also the cops are evil

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

got zero points on my 15 page academic assignment. zero as in 0.

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

just fyi, vampires are by far the wackest mythical creatures ever. so corny so boring, can't even come into the house without an invite. Guess what, neither can, i you're not special. why do so manpy people love vampires? whats the appeal

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

big fan of the dictionary

i hate when you google a word and some fucking company comes up instead. Do you think you are more important than the english dictionary you piece of shit corporation

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

sometimes i want to have something to say. other times i want to have nothing to say. most times i can't decide. an the few times i can decide i stick with nothing.

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

nonsensical

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

it's really not fun anymore

[forwhatitsworthifatall]

genau das will ich sehen

Vielleicht ist heute Abend gar nicht automatisch das Ende des alten Jahres, sondern manuell Neujahr.