gailsthetic-blog

[gailsthetic-blog]

To The Guy Who Doesn't See Her Worth..

To this guy who made her feel worthless, stupid and unloved; this is for you.

Lately, all she did was to care for you and you treated her like a trash in the garbage. You're special for her, but she's nothing to you. She defended you from the people around her saying that you are a toxic one but little thing she knew, they were right about you all along. You kept pushing her away from your life while pulling other girls to you just because you are not interested on her. You never cared about her existence yet you became a big part of her life even though you didn't want to be in it. You gave her reasons to leave you but she kept finding another reasons to stay. Dumb choice? Yes. But what do you expect? When you're important to someone, you'll expect them to make you stay whatever the consequences that's coming. Whatever pain she may feel and whatever problems you have caused. You are that special to her. She chose you. She didn't gave up on you. It's her choice and you can't blame her.

And this day came, she got tired of you pushing her away, your worst attitude, trashy treatment and you itself. SHE GOT TIRED OF YOU.

She finally lets you go.

And by that, she started to love herself. She knows now what to do and realized that she can live without you now.

Someday soon, when she grows inside and out.. she will know how to love and trust again despite of what you did. She will also, find a man who will treat her like a queen, see her worth, and love her that you didn't do.

She won't lose hope. She will believe again. She will because she can.

To that toxic guy, you just lost a precious jewel. You lost a great treasure the world that can offer. You lost her but she gained a better life and heart.

Thank you for the lesson. Thank you for the pain you've cause her. Time will come, she will find the best things more than she could ask for.

[gailsthetic-blog]

Open Letter to the Wrong One

(Inspired by someone's feelings)

I let you go not because I want to;

It's because, I needed to.

-----

When I first met you, that day was perfect. I didn't know what the consequences will be if I continued to stare at you from a distance. I appreciate your presence even though you don't even know me yet.

And from the moment that I knew you, my heart said, "He's the guy."

I didn't mind what your life is all about but I knew all along is I was connected to you. From that day onwards, I attached myself to you even though I'm not really sure of what's gonna happen but one thing I know, my heart never fails to see the happiness I'm looking for.

Days, months have passed.. you never failed to amaze me. How you talk,care and be with people around you. How talented you are. How can you look so bubbly and adorable. I admire you from afar. Even though, you didn't know that I exist.. you still make my emotions go crazy whenever you're around.

Although, they were some negative vibey around us. There are girls around you, perhaps your friends or exes or whatever but that made me envious and insecure because why am I not existing in your world like they do?

God knows how badly I want to talk to you. Hoping that you would know me too. But, I just can't. I'm a hopeless and awkward introvert but kinda fun to talk to.

Years have passed and it's just the same. You still didn't know that I live in this world. I still continued to admire you even though sometimes, you make my mind so complicated based on your attitude and movements.

I got this feeling that this is fate. The people around us are connected to me and you. Found out that we were on the same age, school and other interests. And that made my feelings grow fonder with the thought that "Maybe, we will meet and talk about the things we like, someday."

Now, things got worse. You changed. You had some bad habits that kept disappointing me. You live in a social life that I don't like. You party, you drink, you go with the people that has some bad influence in your life and you are one with them now. I thought you are a perfect guy but no, you are really not. You made me feel worthless. I thought that I can accept this but it kept bugging me like "this can't be right. I deserve something better."

What I learned is, I should get to know people before trusting them. There are guys out there who will make me feel special. Unlike you, who kept disappointing me. I'm not gonna judge you because it's not worth it. You are not worth it of my time. I'm not gonna think or feel the connections between us because it doesn't matter to me anymore. Live your life the way you want it. I'm not gonna care anymore. I don't deserve a guy who does some toxic things and not really God-centered human being.

I deserve the best. And He will give it to me. Someone who obeys Him and loves Him.

and unfortunately, THAT'S NOT YOU.

This time, I'm gonna save myself for the right guy, at the right time. I'm gonna grow and be loved by Him first.

I WILL BE HAPPY EVEN WITHOUT YOU.

You ruined my mind, heart and soul. You gave me trust issues so many times and I won't tolerate this.

I'm not gonna expect from you, anymore. NOT AGAIN. NOT EVER.

I'm letting you go permanently so I could be free from guilt, heartbreak and hatred. The right one won't make me feel unloved. So you aren't the right one.

GOODBYE.

[gailsthetic-blog]

Currently (4) - 02/25/2019

First post of 2019 yayyyy oof sorry got a little busy. So many happy and sad things. Anyway, will do a blog later. Soooo..

Reading: Some of the blogs I see here on Tumblr. Still not sleepy. I'm writing this on 12mn by the way.

Listening: Westlife songs! I loved them since I was a kid. I grew up listening to them. It's like my childhood boyband fangirling phase.

Thinking: About complicated thoughts. My brain is kinda messy recently. Maybe it needs to be written down?

Wishing: I have enough money to buy what I want lol

Hoping: For a peace of mind.

Eating: Not really eating anything but the last food I ate was Champola Wafer Sticks.

Smelling: The aroma of the night wind breeze.

Wearing: My college department shirt plus pink pajamas.

Loving: BROOKLYN NINE NINE! I'M ON SEASON 6 ALREADY YAYYYY

Wanting: I'm craving for Pringles lately so I want some Pringles.

Needing: A. NEW. PHONE. PLEASE.

Feeling: Wide awaaaaakeeeee. Brain cells, let me sleep please.

Anyway, will write a new blog any minute. Ciao, have a nice day loves. xx

[gailsthetic-blog]

“Be good to yourself, when nobody else will.”

— Journey, Be Good To Yourself

[gailsthetic-blog]

Open Letter to my 20-year-old self.

This year wasn't really good for you. You had fought with your emotions, spirit and your mind itself. You have been rejected, left, disappointed, hurt by some people. In school, in friends, and other aspects in life, you failed.

They let you down, they judged you but you kept going strong and I'm happy for that.

You laughed with the jokes you saw and heard, you cried with heartbreaks and condemnation about you, you became sad with unnecessary things, you became happy with small things but hey! You are still here. You are important and you have a purpose.

But some things got better. You've met some people that willingly stays in your life no matter what. You became closer to God. You became a servant in church. You have been blessed abundantly and it's all by grace alone.

You're now 21 and I really hope the pain that caused you will be a lesson to make you tougher on your incoming challenges. Adulting is hard but you have to face it. Greater things are about to happen this year of yours and I believe in you.

There are some people you will meet again, to be a lesson or to be a blessing. But what matters most is to surrender everything to Him, whatever happens.

Happy 21 years of existence with grace, self. There is more to come. Just believe.

[gailsthetic-blog]

Currently (3) - 07/22/2018

Hi there! I missed writing so much like these past few days are stressful but heyyyyy it's my birthday today yayyyyyyy

Reading: Some of my birthday greetings. I am forever grateful with these people.

Listening: IN MY FEELINGS BY DRAKE lol seriously i'm hearing it everywhere so it's stuck in my head.

Thinking: How blessed I am today.

Wishing: Peace on everything.

Hoping: For a better version of me.

Eating: Caramel brownies that they bought. Also a birthday cake given to me. Sweets overload!

Smelling: Some baby lotion that was not that good to smell (bc it's smells like plastic)

Wearing: Maroon shirt and a colorful pajama. Perfect for rainy days like this.

Loving: Hu Yi Tian! The very first Chinese guy who captured my heart! He's from A Love So Beautiful though.

Wanting: Churros, Milk Tea, French Fries ughhhhh pls

Needing: Spotify Premium on my account because i can't download illegally on some songs lol

Feeling: Loved by the Lord and the people around me today.

Happy Birthday, dear self. Keep on shining. Xoxo

[gailsthetic-blog]

lol this is me on so many levels today

me at 14: I cant wait till im in college I have so many plans for life and nothing can stop me :)

Me now: Mm. Me hungey. Me eat macdonal. French frie. Frenchffrie. French frie.

[gailsthetic-blog]

It's important to know when you've had enough. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak. It means that you are strong enough to accept the truth that sometimes letting go is better than holding on to something that will only hurt you.

[gailsthetic-blog]

“Sometimes you need to burn bridges to stop yourself from crossing them again.”

[gailsthetic-blog]

Currently (2) - 05/29/2018

Heyyyyyyo! It's me again. School starts in weeks and I don't feel so good about it buuuut anyway spread positive vibes. It's been a week since I wrote my Currently blog, now I have the feels to write some like this again HAHAHAHAHA!   

READING: Tweets. Some of dramas but anyway life goes on. I'm also reading He's Into Her season 3 and my brain is tingling like I don't want this to end.

LISTENING: Sign of the Times by Harry Styles! It’s my ever fave solo Harry song. 

“If we never learn, we been here before, why are we always stuck and running from the bullets?”

THINKING: About Chocolate Milk Tea. I want it like right now.

WISHING: My anxiety didn't exist :(

HOPING: For happiness and healing. I know the pain is gonna be worth it.

EATING: KFC Chicken! I was supposed to buy fries but I bought this instead. Also, some chocolates.

SMELLING: My perfume! Liquid Sunshine!

WEARING: Blue shirt with pocket and jogging pants.

LOVING: Ross Butler *heavily sigh with dreamy eyes*

WANTING: New clothes, new phone, money, more food.

NEEDING: A peace of mind and calmness in my heart. Thanks.

FEELING: Full because of what I ate. Disappointed at some people but it's okay.

Ciao babes. Have a good day!

[gailsthetic-blog]

Currently (1) 05/22/2018

This is Maine Mendoza’s blog inspired! Kind of wondering if I can make this also my life journal.

Yayyy! It’s 22nd of May! 2 months before my birthday. Anyway, life has not been so good for me this past few days. But thank God, i’m coping up and happiness comes to me little by little.. patience right? So, this tumblr/blog post is all about what I feel right now.

May 22, 2018 - Tuesday - 10:52pm

READING: He’s Into Her by maxinejiji! It’s a filipino book love story, it’s so catchy, amazing and i’m lovin it! It’s about a bully guy met a gangster girl, too many antagonist and plot twists! It’s a must read! Also it’s on wattpad though.

WRITING: This blog. Also what to write on my stories. I was also thinking to write a poem about certain things.

LISTENING: 24K Magic by Bruno Mars! HAHAHAHA. No seriously, i’ve been avoiding sad music lately to lessen the burden in my heart loljk. I’m listening to this song with my little dance steps idk who never do that right?

THINKING: What to eat tomorrow lol nope. Just a random person who made me feel sad these past few days. Wish I could unmeet some people but they did brought joy into my life so thank you.

WISHING: I wish I had more money because I’m broke lol really

HOPING: For a good grades. Also not to see some toxic people like no please

EATING: Nissin Choco Wafer Stick a.k.a Stick-O lol my faves forevs

SMELLING: The aircon? Lol and the toothpaste. I just finished brushing my teeth.

WEARING: Red Hollister shirt and a pajama with teddy bear design HAHA

LOVING: Joe Keery, Finn Wolfhard, Cole Sprouse, doggos, Mr. Buckwheat like yeah they made me happy recently lol

WANTING: Statement Tees from seashop! Specifically the Riverdale ones. :(

NEEDING: Sleep. I need sleep. My head hurts.

FEELING: Sad? Stressed causing my people lately. But step by step, I’m learning to accept everything that things aren’t meant to be part of our lives.

That’s it friends. I’ll keep writing this maybe if i’m in the mood lol ciao! 💕

[gailsthetic-blog]

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I will kinda start some encouraging advices/statements and I hope it works or helps you. You will get through this. :)

Have you ever felt alone in the sea of people? Have you ever been judged? Condemned? Did they ever said some negative vibey words that hurted your feelings? I, as well felt that kind of sadness.

I had been compared with other people specifically in looks and attitude. I envied on some people that I hated myself for it. I tried to changed, but it didn’t work. What I did? I accepted my flaws. Because this is me. Nothing else matters. Just me.

But hey, It’s not an accident that you were born. You have a purpose. Maybe, we felt discouraged by the things around us but it doesn’t mean that the bad things that they’re saying is what you are. NO! You are enough. You are loved. You are worthy of every best things in this world.

You may be not enough to this people, but always remember that you are precious. You are in this world because you deserve to live. Don’t mind other’s opinions because they don’t matter. What is important is you and your life alone. Don’t go with the flow. Don’t listen to their bad statements about you because they’re wrong. Love yourself. Live the life you want. Be happy. Pray. Always smile.

[gailsthetic-blog]

OTRA MANILA - A 1D CONCERT EXPERIENCE

December 2014

I was at a Mall. On a Ticket Store. Asking if there’s still tickets on the One Direction Concert here at Philippines, next year. But they said that it was Sold Out. My heart shattered to pieces like whyyyyyy? Will i ever see them? Will i ever hear them live? Will my dream can ever come true? I really don’t know. 

January 5, 2015 

It was the time of classes again. My uncles and aunts gave me much money to buy concert ticket. When i came to the Mall once again, OMG IT STILL THEREEEEE. BUT ON THE BACK BUT OMG ILL TAKE IT. I waited for like 1-2 hours because printing got complicated and stuff. BUT WHEN IT WAS FINISHED I AM THE HAPPIEST GIRL EVER. I WANNA SHOUT BUT IM IN THE MALL SO NOPE BUT OMG YASSSSS ILL SEE ONE DIRECTION ON MARCH 21, 2015 WOOOOHOOOO 

MARCH 21, 2015 - ‘THE CONCERT’ 

Okay so they announced that Zayn won’t come on the OTRA MNL i’m so sad. But i woke up 5am and looking that they were already on the concert venue. Texting me that i should go there. So i ate my breakfast and get dressed smiling because it’s a happy day. I traveled 2 hours to Mall Of Asia Concert Grounds from our house because it’s far af. AND I MET SOME COOL PEOPLE. HI TO MY OTRAT SQUAD HIHI. Then when i reached the destination. I was jumping like OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I’M HEREEEEE. Then i went near the grounds and theres a huge croooowd. Those are my co-Directioners singing and waiting in the line. There are so many people omg then we waited and stood in line for almost 8 hours but i know it will be worth it. Then the soundcheck came. Theyre hereeeeeee. Niall,Harry,Louis and Liam are in the same place as we are oh my god. Then we were shouting and were so happy. And the guards opened the gates and we were shouting and singing in happiness till we reached our place. We waited for them while watching 5SOS, 1D music videos. Then the On The Road Again video plays and were out of control like omg. Then Niall came out of the stage and the rest of the lads. They sang the first song which is Clouds. They were 1 hour late and my legs are hurting, didn’t take any water or food for hours but when they performed it was all worth it. I cried and laugh and sing or should i say mixed emotions. And the boys always say that they love us. And the ending song is the Best Song Ever and the Fireworks! My head, throat and legs hurt. But i don’t mind because i heard them live. My dreams came true. Then my squad and i ate dinner and had a sleepover. And that is not the end. See you soon lads. Come back to the Philippines okay? 

 March 21-22, 2015 BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE

[gailsthetic-blog]

SIGNS TO LET GO:

• you’re expected to sacrifice your personal values and change into someone you’re really not.

• your trust is continuously broken.

• staying in it always makes you feel broken, depressed and frustrated.

• self-worth is not appreciated

• you justify that it’s worth holding on, when it’s really not.

• you can’t remember the last time you were happy.

• you find that you’re always the one making sacrifices.

• you refuse to acknowledge the present because it hurts too much.

• you’ve already exhausted all your efforts but everything stays the same.

remove the toxic thought that holding on can change things.

let go and live. you know you deserve it.