gardenlvl

[gardenlvl]

[gardenlvl]

Don’t get pissy, don’t call them a fat retard, don’t interact.

[gardenlvl]

beans and toast

a letter to the British

I know we have BEEN making fun of British people and the “food” they eat for literal centuries, but I believe it is my duty as an American to say what I need to say right now.

It’s not about food, at all, really, but food is what brought me to where I am today.

Kind of.

Every now and then a British person will post about their Sunday gravy or their beans and toast, and we’ll get a good laugh, make some fun, and it will go viral. The most recent clip making the rounds is a jacket potato style food truck where an awfully British looking man smiles as he plops a mound of COLD tuna salad on top of WARM beans over a (delicious looking) cheesed-up baked potato.

Had me in the first half?

The British reaction to our teasing is always the same. Poking fun at the horrible atrocities committed against the innocent children in our schools is the go to, but occasionally, an eloquently spoken chap will hop on the Tok and say something somewhat clever about the rise of you-know-whatism in the US like they aren't next.

It’s cruel.

But it is the internet so, as soon as Americans quit stitching the Brits, nobody will see British content ‘till we decide to make fun of them, again.

But, while they are making the rounds, a (non-foodie) Brit will occasionally pop on my feed. In the past few days, I’ve gotten a handful of videos from well-dressed, well-educated Brits pouting at the camera, explaining to Americans that “nobody is coming to save you.”

Girl.

My Irish ancestors are quaking and my eagle is balding.

We literally did not ask. We wouldn’t. We know you can’t help. You wouldn’t if you could.

I hate to get on here and make so many generalizations, but man, y’all don’t seem to care if you sound like tone-deaf imbeciles so let me cook.

Obviously, I don't dislike all Brits… but I honeymooned in Ireland and the UK and we spent only two hours in not-so Great Britain at Heathrow. Those two hours were the most ridiculous of my life, but Heathrow is internationally despised so you already knew that. I want to like you, desperately, at least give you a chance! You pop out fantastic musicians and personalities at breakneck speed, but they always end up working and living… here.

Hm.

I like tea?

Now, let’s keep it light.

Extend a bit of grace.

We can feel, in so many of your videos and on your blogs, that you care and that you are well-intentioned. At the end of the day we must remain humorous and extend condolences when necessary. We are worried. We are scared. But you are, too. So if you’re coming from a good place, this is not for you.

You know that.

But for you smug, frog-mouthed, little freaks that think you’re superior because you survived your posh little childhoods: PISS OFF

There is no room, in your glass house, to talk. You know it, I know it, the whole world knows it. So when you go to make your intellectual little we-told-you-so, dead kid speech, check the teeth you’re talking through.

Cheers!

[gardenlvl]

[gardenlvl]

"In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

— George Orwell

[gardenlvl]

flies

flies on the walls

who let them in?

flies on the walls

can’t let them win

evil eye upon you

name in their mouth

flies on the walls

country heading south

flies on the walls

consume what you do

flies on the walls

consume you

flies on the walls

they buzz and they scheme

flies on the walls

they scream, and they scream

flies on the walls

try not to stare

flies on the walls

you’re the reason they’re there

flies on the walls

entertain them, you must

flies on the walls

come on, gain their trust

flies on the walls

you’d think they don’t care

but the flies on the walls

are everywhere

flies on the walls

study you so

flies on the walls

you’ve nowhere to go

flies on the walls

narrative spins

flies on the walls

tallying sins

flies on the walls

we’ve let them in

flies on the walls

won’t let them win

[gardenlvl]

villain era

bad girl!

Being harmless does not make you morally superior and allowing others to walk all over you is ruining your life. Being a doormat does not make them like you or respect you more, it shows them that they can rely on your subservience and they will take advantage of it at every opportunity.

From the minute we are born, young women are taught to be polite and accommodating. Putting others before yourself meant you were nurturing and valued in your families, churches, and schools. Even when it was detrimental to our development, education, and safety, self-advocacy was the deadliest sin you could commit.

God forbid you make anyone uncomfortable!

This obviously speaks to a much deeper evil within our society, one that controls, regulates, and keeps women in their “place”. And while one blog post could never remedy this evil in its entirety, it is important for young women to understand that the system is set up for you please, and serve, and endure disrespect. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to.

You don’t have to!

I’m not saying you need to treat others with disrespect and become the bully, that is counter productive and harmful. Obviously. I’m saying that, maybe it would be worth your time to take a step back and analyze your own people-pleasing tendencies and understand that the anger, the hurt, and the guilt you feel is very real and allowing yourself to be the “bad guy” every once in awhile is the best thing you can do for yourself and your peace.

This is not an easy, or linear process. It can be hard to identify when to speak up and when to take the high-road. We all want peace. We want our friends, family, and even our coworkers to be in harmony with us. We don’t want to make others uncomfortable! It’s natural, it’s conditioned.

But what about when you feel uncomfortable?

Do you believe your coworker is prioritizing harmony when they steal your lunch?

Are your girlfriends prioritizing harmony when they leave you at the bar late at night to hook up with their exes and yours?

Is that guy prioritizing harmony by not taking no for an answer?

No.

They are prioritizing themselves. Their comfort. Their desires.

At the expense of yours.

Your comfort, your desires, your safety.

Being nice is not the best thing you can be.

Your coworker is not going to chime in during meetings to praise your work and help you get that promotion because you let him steal your lunch and you’re just so NICE. He’s going to self-advocate, get the promotion himself, and keep stealing your lunch.

Your girlfriends are not just going to wake up one day and decide to be loyal to you because you’ve maintained blind loyalty to them. They will continue to betray each other in horrible ways and drag you down with them.

That guy isn’t going to suddenly treat you like a princess because you gave in and allowed him to violate you. He will continue to violate you and your boundaries ‘till there is nothing left behind your eyes.

Nobody is going to advocate for you because you’ve given them grace.

Give it to yourself.

Nobody is taking you into account the way you’ve been taking them.

So take yourself into account and do what’s best for her.

Nobody is making you out to be as small as you make yourself out to be.

Take up space.

Nobody is going to fill your cup.

They are too busy emptying it for themselves.

To truly be in harmony with the ones around you, you must be in harmony with yourself. Allowing others to use you as a vessel for their gain leaves you with nothing. You don’t get them, you don’t get their respect, and you don’t get some award for being the nicest girl in the world.

To be in harmony with yourself you must advocate for her. You must endure the temporary pain that comes with cutting yourself from narratives and losing those you thought would be there forever.

If they really loved you, and prioritized harmony with you, they wouldn’t steal, lie, and put you in danger.

Cut the rot.

This allows for those meant for you to find you, and they will know to respect you because you respect yourself. They won’t hurt you, because you no longer allow yourself to be hurt. They will fill your cup, and you will fill theirs, willingly.

You may be the villain in some stories, but stop allowing yourself to be the villain in your own.