gingernut1314 - Tumblr blog

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Text

Fell First, Fell Harder

Summary: Luffy fell first and harder

Content: fell first, fell harder trope, alternate versions, some death, lots of fluffy love, kinda like a choose your own ending

Word Count: 870+

A/N: This was 1) inspired by the fell first fell harder trend cause I was thinking Luffy would do well as both and 2) it's inspired by this short story I read for one of my classes called "Happy Endings" by Margaret Atwood (it's very fun), which is where I got the idea for the different versions of the story! I hope you all enjoy!

↞ to One Piece Masterlist | Request Rules | Blog Navigation ↠

Luffy fell first and he fell harder.

No matter the circumstances.

At a single glance, Luffy fell for you and you fell just as fast. He’s gravitating towards you just as you gravitate towards him. There hardly needs to be a single word spoken between you two past a simple greeting because you two just know. It’s as if your very souls know--as if they’d been calling out for each other your whole lives. Two sides of the same coin is what you two are.

He helps your island. You help his crew. He asks you to join his crew and you agree before he can even finish the question.

Where one is found, the other is right there too. There is rarely anywhere you two go alone. Many a crew member have commented “if they could crawl into each other's skin, they would have a long time ago.”

You fall harder and harder for each other the longer and longer you two are together. You’ll follow him wherever he goes, just as he will follow you and you both will do so till you are old and gray and wrinkled. You two will follow each other into death’s embrace and live together forever in whatever sunny afterlife awaits you.

Luffy saw you, working for the enemy, yet still fell. He could see your pain--your struggle for survival and wants to help.

You don’t. You see him as a thorn in your side. Someone in the way of your plans. You don’t want or need his help. You joined your Captain's crew for a reason and no amount of love Luffy gives you is going to change that.

Luffy can’t get you out of his head and he can’t help but keep falling harder for you. Not when you stand for the same things he stands for, no matter how you choose to go about it.

Fighting occurs. The Straw Hats win. You are left beaten and bruised and, even when you fought against his family--when you tried to kill them--he extends a hand out for you. He wants you to take it so badly. Wants you to be free with him and yet you spit at his feet. You can’t fathom why he would offer you any amount of love.

He offers you the freedom you’ve been craving so easily. You hate it. You reject it.

You limp away, never once turning back to look at him.

Luffy understands, no matter his disappointment, and walks away too.

He believes you’ll meet again and when the time comes, he’ll offer his hand for you to take once more.

Luffy falls for you the moment you give him an extra loaf of bread he didn’t have the berri to afford. You gave it to him because of his smile and warmth--things he wants to keep sharing with you as long as you will let him.

Luffy saves you from a band of bandits raiding your bakery and you fall for him hard. You keep falling for him over and over again the longer you follow him across the Grand Line.

You two spend day after day together. Neither one of you ever wants to let go of the other. You two are happy and oh so carefree within each other's arms.

The Straw Hats face off against an unforgiving foe. It’s a hard battle. The crew can hardly find the strength to keep on fighting, not when their bodies are beaten beyond repair.

You’re injured too. Bad.

Luffy sees this and defeats the big bad at just the last minute.

Chopper can’t get to you in time.

Luffy loves you even when you are no longer in this world with him. He’ll love you till the day he leaves it too.

You’re a part of the enemy's crew and yet Luffy falls for you the moment you shed a tear for the village your boss has just destroyed.

Luffy wants to save you. You want him to save you too.

You help Luffy even when you know doing so has put a target on your back. Though, with your extra help, Luffy and his crew defeat your former one. He asks you to join him--to sail around the world and help whoever you wish to help. You join him with hardly a second thought and do just that.

Everyday Luffy is around you, the more you two talk and laugh with each other, harder and harder he falls. You fall right back and you fall hard because he has become your best friend.

You follow him throughout his journey and he helps you learn to love yourself despite all the bad from your past.

You believe you’ve fallen first for Luffy and are stuck in a constant battle against your own emotions because you believe Luffy has only ever viewed you as a friend--a fellow crewmate.

Luffy believes you two have been together ever since you joined his crew--has loved you since then. Nami even told him this--that you liked him and he thought that was that. He loves you and you love him, therefore you were his.

Robin tells you this one day and you only fall harder for him.

241 notes · View notes

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Text

There are two types of writers:

1. 'It's fiction, it doesn't need to make sense!'

2. 'I didn't account for the rotation of the planet and how that affects the constalations while my characters stargazed at different times of year, I have failed as a writer, and this entire thing is trash'

#lol literally both #I love doing research so I like to bring all the little things I learned into a fic #but also I just want them to kiss so it not that deep #no in between #writing #writing reblog

47K notes · View notes

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Text

I'm actually SPEECHLESSS

CINNA!!!! THIS IS--BEYOND WORDS ITS SO WONDERFUL!!!

I love rainbow sherbet from Baskin Robbins 🩷🧡💛🤍

#the hair #the nails #the ringgg #her face #the colorssssss #AHHH #just so beautiful!!!#Well done!!#Always doing ms. hp justice #moots #moots being talented #jjba part 7 #hot pants jojo #jjba art

82 notes · View notes

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Text

I'm gonna hop on this cause I love to share lol

The last line I wrote is part of a text chain between Toji and reader from my series Speak No Evil so I'm gonna add like--one or two lines of that otherwise it'd be real short

Toji: lady i’m gonna get that damn beer and youre gonna serve it You: Will I? Toji: damn right You: We’ll see. Toji: ya we will

They flirt but they deny deny deny it's fun

No pressure tags! @mydearlybeloathed @cinnbar-bun @operationroots

WRITING GAME post the last line that you wrote

Thank you to @bettystonewell for tagging me! This is the last line I wrote. Currently, I am still writing my 'Woman of Letters' series, (28k words and counting).

“Where’s Dean?” You asked, your voice soft and full of hope.

Again, I don't have many mutuals, so I will just tag my favorite accounts: @deansbeer @dulcescorderitas @sammyluvr @buckysbabygorl @lovelybarnes

No pressure to anyone I tagged!

#tag game #writing game #moots #funnn!!#also sordid what you've got written has me kicking my feet and giggling its so yummy!!!!#Idk who saying it but I'm picture many lovely op men while reading it

359 notes · View notes

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Note

omg i'm SOBBING over how sweet this is 😭

Zeff might not have had a lot of screen time, but he left an impact! What're your headcanons for the man?

Ooohhhh Zeff! I can't not like Zeff. He's big, he's strong, he CAN be scary- but he chooses not too when it matters most.

Zeff was and is still very popular with the ladies—but he has a certain gruff finesse that Sanji doesn't. Mostly, Zeff has the life experience to know when to have a gentle hand and a bit of vulnerability when flirting. He’s a softer flirt. He can say the same outlandish things Sanji does but with the tone and social context to have it land sensually, respectfully, and sincerely. (Sanji will get there with time)

Zeff 💯 gave Sanji the best (worst) sex talk with very creative food metaphors. Zeff was embarrassed, Sanji was confused, and it is only years later when Sanji falls in love for the first time that he suddenly realizes that wasn't a recipe for food but for how to treat a woman right when you really like her. (Maybe one day I'll write it or do a birds and the bees head cannons post for a few characters who definitely got unconventional words of wisdom)

He fiddles with his mustache when nervous.

I think Zeff regrets never settling down and having a family of his own prior to adopting Sanji. I think that when he did adopt Sanji and opened the Baratie it gave him the opportunity to finally feel that dream realized, never really having thought he wanted it that badly or that it was even something he was allowed to want/have/deserve.

Expanding on that---he wants Sanji to settle down and bring him grandkids one day to spoil. He probably has sappy little daydreams about spoiling grandkids and teasing Sanji about parenthood that are exceptionally domestic...but he'll never tell because he's a gruff and tough man after all!

Can you imagine him spoiling a granddaughter and braiding her hair as she braids his beard? Here let me help you imagine:

If Sanji is meant to be a girl dad then Zeff was MADE to be a girl Grandpa.

#girl grandpa zeff is real #moots #moots making me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside #one piece art #moots art

222 notes · View notes

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Text

AHHHHH

utter perfection 🫶

You know that scene in Pride and Prejudice where Mr. Darcy walks across a wet muggy field? But like mix it with that scene of him soaking wet and drenched in the rain admitting adoration begrudgingly like a wet black cat in love? No hat, no weapons, coming to you not as a warlord or a pirate but a man?

yeah…..

Inspired by the immaculate vibes put forth by @fanaticsnail fan fiction Sapsorrow.

Art tags: @fanaticsnail @indydonuts @i-am-vita @sordidmusings

@gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @mermaniaa

#get me mihawk-mr. darcy NEOW #moots #moots being so so talented #i'm dying over this omllllll #mihawk #one piece art #beautiful stunning magnificent

61 notes · View notes

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Text

Spring Rain and Coffee pt. 5

Summary: Two years have passed since the raid on Anteiku and dead seem to have come back to life.

Content: Female reader x Hide Nagachika, ghoul reader, shy reader, takes place during seasons 3 (Kaneki spoilers, Scarecrow spoilers)

Word Count: 3.8K

Song: "Need Ur Luv" by Charli xcx

A/N: And that's a wrap on this little fic! Thank you to those that do read it, I enjoyed writing it very much! 😊

↞ to Perfect Masterlist | Tokyo Ghoul Masterlist | Request Rules | Blog Navigation ↠

Two years had passed since Anteiku burned to the ground. Two long, bleak years. You tried not to let the events that happened there take you over. You even tried to finish school but--you just couldn’t. Not when the campus felt so--dull without him there. Not when you saw him around every corner and when the memories hurt you too damn much.

So you’d dropped out and spent months rotting in your apartment. You painted to try and keep yourself sane, but the art you produced was only a painful reflection of everything you missed.

Nishiki had been the one to come and check up on you. To get you out of your apartment and try and get you away from your grief��no matter how harsh the words and tough love had been.

Touka offered you a job at her coffee shop, :re, which Nishiki all but threatened you to take.

You didn’t like it. You hated it actually. You didn’t want to pretend to be happy all the time. You didn’t want to move on like you hadn’t lost someone so important to you.

And the worst of it was Haise Sasaki, a CCG officer who came to grab a coffee from time to time. A Dove and someone who looked very much like Kaneki.

Who was Kaneki.

The others had had to stop you from marching up to him and revealing your ghoul status when you’d first seen him sitting there, reading a book and sipping happily like he hadn’t been the one to do it. Hadn’t been the individual who had killed him.

You tried to not hate Hasie. You really did because you knew he wouldn’t want you to hate his best friend. Knew he had probably offered himself up on a silver platter to the crazed ghoul, just as he had to you.

You tried and you tried and you tried but it wouldn’t stick. Not when all you saw was Kaneki sitting there. Not when he had forgotten who he had killed.

The other’s issued you warnings anytime Haise visited and you took yourself very, very far away from the coffee shop every time.

Time past you blink after blink. Work, walk home, sleep. Work, walk home, sleep. It's all you did. All you were willing to do.

When Hinami was captured, you didn’t react. When the other went to help go rescue her, you couldn’t find the goodwill within you to help. And when Kaneki came back, really came back, he approached you despite the others warning him to just leave it.

He sat with you as you scribbled in your sketch pad, the drawings never once coming out the way you wanted. Not once.

He just sat with you. Said nothing. Like he knew nothing he would say would ever be good enough.

“I saw him, you know.” You spoke after the passing of a few, long minutes, voice tight and eyes never once leaving the page. “That night.” Again, Kaneki was quiet. So eerily quiet you almost thought he had got up and left. “I told him not to. I told him you weren’t you. Of course, he didn’t listen.”

“That…does sound like him.” He finally spoke. You snapped your eyes up to look at him. To find the guy who had taken your chance at happiness away and saw just how tortured he really was. Not just about his friend. But about everything. Saw just how hurt he was.

He’s doing his best to help everyone. Destroying himself to do it. Is what he would have said…what he would have wanted you to see.

“I can’t forgive you.” Kaneki nodded in understanding. “But Hide would.” Your throat tightened. Your grip on your pencil tightened. Pain unlike anything you had ever seen filled into Kaneki’s eyes then. Pain the amount of which was near terrifying. “You have a second chance, Kaneki, to be with the people you love.” You continued, starting back up on your drawing. “Don’t mess it up.”

“I’ll do my best.” And he left and you felt so--hollow. Neither angry or sad or anything. Just--empty.

Nishiki had brought you a cup of coffee you didn’t touch and sat with you for a long while afterward.

Cold rain drizzled over you and the gathered ghouls as they tried to decide what to do about what Kaneki had become. It was all back and forth you tried to keep up with. Tried to have feelings about, but ever since your talk with the man of the hour, you couldn’t even get angry. Just numb. It was such a strange feeling--to be so completely unbothered, but here you were doing just that and letting the rain dampen your hair and clothes.

The smell of spring rain filled your nose, pulling you from your dissociation.

Fresh. Clean. Different from the rain currently falling around you all.

It was a smell that had you glancing between hooded ghouls surrounding you to try and see who it belonged to. All you catch was a glimpse of Tsukiyama’s purple hair and the flash of Nishiki’s glasses and--

A gray robe blocked your vision and you allowed it, feeling yourself slowly slip into another bout of dissociation. Just stared blankly at the muddy grass and think of nothing.

A hand grabbed hold of your upper arm and began to guide you away suddenly. Rain wasn’t falling over your head anymore, you noted as you blinked rapidly to see who had you. It was Nishiki, looking more troubled than he had when Kaneki had turned into that beast.

“Did I miss something?” You asked, glancing around to find everyone still mulling about, as if waiting for their next move.

“Uh--yeah. Something.” Nishiki agreed, glancing back himself.

“What?” You questioned. When Nishiki didn’t answer you pulled him to a stop and went to head back towards the others, but he was quick to step in front of you. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Okay--just--shit, I don’t know why I didn’t just get Touka to do this.” He gruffed.

“Do what?” Nishiki watched you for a moment, worry clear in his eyes. Worry that was so unusual for Nishiki to have for anyone. “Nishiki.” You warned.

“Okay, okay. Well, there’s no good way to say it then to just say it so…he’s back.” You blinked up at Nishiki, confusion muddling around in your brain.

“You mean Kaneki? Great.” You deadpanned, “I don’t see why you needed to pull me out here to--”

“No, no. Not Kaneki. He’s back.” Your heart froze.

Spring rain.

Fresh and clean.

That’s what you’d smelled. A familiar smell. One you had worried day and night about forgetting and you had really smelled it because--if Nishiki wasn’t playing some mean joke--

With breath held, you looked past Nishiki’s tall form to scan over the now leaving crowd of ghouls slowly. To find Touka watching you, worry seeming to have permanently etched itself into her eyes, not just for her husband, but for you too. You definitely didn’t need her to worry, not with everything going on with her now, but, as she joined her Uncle and your eyes found the only figure still standing there in the rain, maybe you did need it. Maybe she was right to worry.

Your mind ran blank all over again. Your throat tightened so painfully you thought someone was trying to choke the life out of you.

You didn’t--how were you supposed to react to this?

You didn’t realize how bad your body was shaking till a solid hand came to rest on your shoulder.

“What do you want to do?” It was Nishiki's voice that sounded in your ear. Nishiki’s hand on your shoulder.

You took in that wild dirty blond hair and those brown eyes so richly deep you could get lost in them and--you didn’t know.

What had Touka done when you all thought Kaneki had died? What had Touka done when he had come back, but as Hasie? You knew what she’d done when Kaneki came back for real. She’d slapped him but then married him in the span of a few days.

Should you just do that? Just forgive him for--for not dying and go on with your life? Try to go back to--to normal?

Understanding.

That’s what shone in those rich brown eyes of his. Sad understanding, just as they always held for you. Because he always seemed to know what you were thinking--who you were and yet he always understood.

“Do you want to leave?” Nishiki asked again. You looked the ghost over again. Noted how he hadn’t once pulled that scarf, which covered his neck and face from the nose down, off.

“Yes.” Nishiki was quick to pull you away.

You didn’t turn back. Not once.

You fought not for Kaneki, but so you could sink your teeth into flesh and tear into it with your nails. You fought so you could feel something. So you could choke on the taste of blood and finally just break.

He had been alive.

This whole time.

He had been alive for two years and hadn’t come to find you. Hadn’t even sent a letter or an email. Nothing.

He had let you suffer through griefing him just for there to be nothing to grieve.

After everything was said and done, Nishiki had come to find you again.

“What are you going to do?” You asked, kicking a bit of rubble as you walked. “Are you going to try and fix things with Kimi?” Nishiki was quiet for a long time as the two of you walked down the destroyed street aimlessly.

“I think I’ll try.” He started, “Because that chick--I hate to say it but I missed the hell out of her. I love her enough to try and win her back.” You nodded, but said nothing in return. “You still don’t know what you’re gonna do about Hide?” Just hearing the name still made your heart ache.

“What would you do? If you had thought Kimi had died horribly only to find she was still alive. Alive and hadn’t even bothered to let you know?” Anger flashed in your chest as you spoke. You didn’t want to be angry. You didn’t want to feel this way towards him but--you couldn’t help it. Not when he had hurt you so, so bad.

“I don’t know.” Nishiki’s words only made you feel even more lost. “But I think I would at least hear her out…From what I know, there was a reason Hide didn’t come back.”

You had showered, changed, and covered yourself in a cocoon of blanks willing sleep to come and claim you. You needed sleep to come to keep you from thinking, but all you could do was think. Was struggle with what to do about Hide. It was maddening, really.

A soft knock on your door had your body tensing.

You knew it couldn’t be Nishiki. The two of you had grown closer as friends over the two years since Anteiku, but he was never eager to come to your apartment. Especially when it was still in the state it had been in for just as long. He’d said as much to you.

You knew it wouldn’t be Touka, too busy with Kaneki and being happy.

No one else would have possibly come knocking on your door. You had made a point of isolating yourself from others your whole life--keeping them just far enough from you to never cross over into that friend territory.

There was only one person you could think of that would be knocking on your door now and the idea of facing him only made your stomach tie into such a tight knot you thought you might puke.

Somehow, you found your body moving. Found yourself yanking your blankets off you body, shuffling your slippers on, and heading towards the door.

Fresh, clean spring rain and coffee filled your nostrils as you grew closer and closer. Smells that had you freezing when your hand grabbed for your door handle.

What would you say to him? Hi? How have you been? Why did he leave you for so long?

You opened your door just as he had begun to head back down the hallway.

You froze all over again when your eyes found him. Tensed up so painfully when his rich brown eyes turned back to find you.

Silence filled the hall for a long, long moment. Silence and the sound of halted breaths.

“I, uh,” Hide was the first to speak. A creaky, staticy sound you found his voice within easily but--but it wasn’t the same. Something wasn’t the same. You eyed that scarf covering his face from his nose all the way over his neck.

What had Kaneki done?

“I brought you coffee.” He continued, raising the white cup a bit to show you. “I know you think Starbucks’ coffee tastes burnt, but it was the only thing open right now.” He gave a sound that tried its struggling hand to be a huff in amusement. A sound that was more microphone feedback than anything else.

You hadn’t forgiven Kankei. And found as you imagined what lay under the scarf Hide wore, you probably never would, no matter how hard he tried to redeem himself.

“I think you’d be able to find less burnt coffee in hell.” Hide gave a cheery yet distorted laugh. A laugh that was still his. A laugh that tugged at your heart so much it hurt.

You never thought you’d be able to hear it again. Never thought you would see him again, let alone joke with him.

“You’re probably right.” His laughers calmed as you just--stared.

“Do you…” You started, voice breaking in utter betrayal of your will to keep it together. “Do you want to come in?” Hide’s eyes softened.

“I don’t want to intr--”

“Come in.” Again your voice betrayed you. Made you sound so frail. Hide gave a small nod and started towards you. You held your breath as you held the door open wider for him. Held your breath as he stepped into your apartment, his clean scent washing over you like a tidal wave.

You were quick to shut the door once he was inside. Quick understand just why Nishiki hated having to even look upon your home.

It was a mess.

Just a complete and utter mess.

Crushed coffee cans and crumbled bits of paper lay scattered around the floor in numbers that could have only been assessed from years of neglect. Unfolded newspapers lay over the floor of the living room, paint splattered all over it.

Two wooden easels stood on those newspapers, paintings you had abandoned still sitting there. More paintings you had abandoned leaned against the walls and sat in stacks. Sketches you had ripped from sketch pads lay amongst them and you even spotted a take-out container or two, residual blood of meals once within them still covering their insides.

You kicked the closest take-out container far away from immediate view. Began to pick up the cans you'd littered all over the floor.

“I--sorry about the mess.” Something like panic shone through your voice then. Something wound so tight it sounded like it might snap at any given moment.

You took the cans to the trash only to find that too was overflowing. Had needed to be taken out weeks ago, so you resorted to placing the cans you’d grabbed at its base.

“It’s okay.” Hide tried to comfort.

“It’s really not.” The words snapped out of you more sharp and fast than you had intended. But you couldn’t help it. Not when that ball in your chest was expanding and expanded out of your control.

You found rich brown eyes watching you. Rich brown eyes again filled with that understanding you only found yourself growing bitter towards. A bitterness you checked immediately as you rubbed your hands over your face. Rubbing at your eyes like you might gouge them out.

“I--I’m sorry.” You breathed.

“Why would you be sorry?” Hide asked softly. So soft it almost didn’t sound through whatever distortion was messing with his voice. You pulled your hands from your face to find his eyes once more.

“Because--” You felt that pit in your chest harden. Harden so much it began to crack under the pressure. “Because I want to be--be happy. I want to be excited that your--” Your voice quivered, it pulled pain to the forefront of Hide’s eyes. “I just--I don’t know what I feel. I don’t know how to act or what to do. I’m sorry I walked away from you the other day. I’m sorry that I don’t know.” Hide gave a small nod.

“I…I don’t expect you to know. I just…selfishly wanted to see you.” Tears burned in your eyes then. Because you too had only wanted to see him. Had only wanted to hold him when he was gone. It had been your only dreadful wish and now--now you could hardly bring yourself to look into his eyes. “Can I…explain? I don’t expect it to change anything. Hell, I don’t expect you to ever want to speak with me again but…can I please explain?”

“I think I would at least hear her out.” Was Nishiki’s answer to you. Nishiki, who was one of the most cynical, quick to turn things negatively, person you had ever met.

You found yourself nodding and Hide explained everything he had been doing for the last two years. How he had been trying to find a way to help Kaneki. To help you all. How in doing that he had gotten on the bad side of a very powerful and dangerous clan. How he had kept away to keep them from finding you. How he had disgusted himself as a low ranking ghoul called Scarecrow. How he hadn't even been able to start his dangerous mission for a whole year while he recovered.

“All I thought about was you.” Hide’s brown eyes shut then tightly. “I’m sorry. So sorry. I just wanted to keep you from getting hurt.” Eyes so full of pain and regret found yours. Eyes that only push tears to well and fall from your eyes in hot streams. “But I only hurt you by keeping you away. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Can I…” You’re croaked after a moment of quiet passed between you two. Hide gave you his full attention, nodded slightly as if to say anything. “Let me see you.”

His nods stopped. His brown eyes grew a bit wider at the request.

“You don’t want to see that.” His voice came out small. Scared. Unlike anyway you had heard him speak before. It was--insecure. And Hide was never insecure.

What had Kaneki done?

“P-please? I do.” You saw Hide’s fingers flex at his side.

“Are you gonna point and call me a freak?” He tried at being humorous again, but that fearful tremble never once left his voice. Tears fell faster from your eyes as you gave him a quivering smile.

“Never.” Hide watched you for a moment longer before his hands reached for that pale gray scarf.

The skin starting from his just below his right ear and crossing all the way over to the left had been ripped off. Bits of flesh too. The flesh of his left cheek had been completely consumed. Teeth and bone having been devoured in Kaneki’s gorge too.

The damage ran down the center of his throat, veering off to the left over his collarbone and disappearing under his jacket. A speaker-like device had been implanted into the base of his throat; the reason why his voice had been so distorted.

Your lips cut into a deep, trembling frown as you fought off the strangled sob that wished to bubble its way out of your throat.

You knew he wouldn’t want you to cry for him. Not for this. You knew him well enough to know he didn’t blame Kaneki for it. Was glad he had done it, as messed up as you thought it was.

“Creepy, right?” Again he tried to cover his vulnerability with humor. You closed the distance you’d left between you two instantly. Coming so close you were invaded by his familiar scent and could see every last detail of the damage done to him.

You brought your hand upward, going ever so slowly as to give him enough time to push your hand away if he wished. He never did and your fingertips felt over the line between smooth, warm skin and the rough scarring of his right cheek.

“You’re,” His eyes were big--watery like a kicked puppy dog’s. A small, choked sob sounded through the voice apparatus that tore at your heart so deeply. “Perfect.”

“You don’t have to pretend.” He managed to get out, shoulders drooping low.

“Why would I pretend?” You grazed your fingers higher to brush some of his dirty blond hair away from his forehead. Touches Hide leaned into, the watery pools lining his eyes threatening to break. “You’ve never once been anything other than perfect to me.” Hide said your name so small--so weak in the emotion washing through him.

“I missed you…” Tears streamed down his unmarred and marred cheeks. Tears you wiped away. “I know it’s not fair of me--too miss you like this when I left, but--” You gently guided him closer so that you could wrap your arms around him tightly. Hold him close to you and breathe in his scent and feel his presence--feel that he truly was here with you.

Hide’s arms were quick to hold you back just as tight, burying his forehead into your neck. His body shook in the force of his held back cries.

And though you were still hurt by him, you could no longer find it within yourself to keep being angry. To keep yourself from him when he had been dead for two years. Had been dead, never to come back.

All you had wanted during that time was for one last chance to say you loved him. One last chance for him to hold you and kiss you and laugh with you.

“I--I miss you too. God, Hide--” You couldn’t keep your own sobs from spilling from your lips either. “Please don’t leave me again. Please.” You begged, burying your face in his hair. “Please I can’t--I love you too much. I love you so much. It almost killed me, you dying I can’t--please don’t leave.” Hide nuzzled his forehead and face deeper into your neck, pulled you so close there was only the clothes on your back keeping you two separate.

“I--I won’t. It’s over. I’m--I love you so goddamn much.” His fingers dug into your flesh as if he could permanently latch himself to you. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Promise me you’ll stay.” You begged on your breaking voice. Begged as you slumped into him and he slumped into you.

“I promise.”

<- Previous

13 notes · View notes

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Text

Playing House ch. 7

Summary: Toji has been away for three days, and on the fourth he comes back

Content: female reader, pre-star plasma vessel, reader is the cousin of Mamaugro, reader is Tsumiki's mom, Tsumiki and Magumi are cousins, gendered terms, grief/mourning, definition of a toxic relationship, flirty Toji, Toji interacting with Tsumiki

Word Count: 3.3K

Tag list: @needsleep3000 @onebatch--twobatch @heeknow

↞ to Speak No Evil Masterlist | Jjk Masterlist | Request Rules | Blog Navigation ↠

Three days.

Toji had been gone for three days.

Three whole days you spent wondering if he had just used this mysterious job of his as an excuse to run away.

You had been surprised, with the way he’d hardly seemed to care for his son, that he had stayed for as long as he had. Surprised he’d allowed you to boss him around and demand things of him…but you supposed it was only to keep you from seeing the plans he was making to leave.

The only thing that kept the smallest bit of faith lit in your mind that he would come back was the fact he had left his number on the fridge. You weren’t so sure people who made it a habit to run away left numbers…your cousin sure as hell hadn’t left any new number when she’d left and you didn’t blame her for it.

But Toji?

You stared at that number for hours on morning number one of Toji being away. Had reluctantly plugged it into your contacts and tried to shove it out of your mind. To shove his being gone out of your mind, of which you failed miserably.

You used this time to complete your task of cleaning the rest of the townhome. You cleaned the bathrooms, the living room. You sweeped, mopped, and vacuumed the floors. You wanted to tackle that room full of boxes but…you found yourself not able to even open the door, knowing the boxes were full of things that might only hurt you.

So you went downstairs and washed the pile clothes Toji’d left in one of the armchairs. While they had dried on the clothesline outside, you braved going into the master bedroom.

Tsumiki was hot on your heels and so you enlisted her in helping you move one of the side tables from in this room all the way downstairs. She mainly helped keep the drawers shut while you did all the heavy lifting, but you two managed to get it downstairs and set up in the living room.

It didn’t match any of the future down here, but if Toji was insistent on using it as his bedroom, his clothes needed to go somewhere that was not in a pile. You even found a basket in one of the clothes you put his blankets and pillow in.

And on the dawn of the fourth day, Toji was still gone and you started to stare long and hard at the number in your phone.

Would he even answer if you texted him? Called him?

You were sure contact was on an emergency based need but…the townhome was so clean now. You found yourself wanting to rub it into Toji's face. You made breakfast and you found yourself waiting to snap at him for trying to grab a bite.

What the hell was wrong with you? You’re mind hissed and you found yourself agreeing, shoving your phone into your back pocket and going about collecting your children to head for the store again.

You needed a stroller and car seat for Megumi, things you couldn’t for the life of you find within the townhome and knew in your gut probably had been tossed or left to rust somewhere by Toji.

The trip didn’t take too long, and soon Megumi was chilling in the cheapest stroller money could buy, car seat set up in your car, and Tsumiki nibbling on a cup of jagariko as you walked back home. The weather was nice enough, despite the coming winter, so you didn’t make a rush to get back to that stuffy townhome.

You had just snagged a potato stick from Tsumiki’s cup, your daughter happy to share, when you caught sight of the girl from across the street. She was walking with a woman you assumed just off first glance, was her mother.

“You mean the daughter of that nagging bitch?” Toji’s words rang through your head.

She looked nice enough…Toji just disliked other people.

“Hi, Ms. Fushiguro!” The girl, Emi, waved your way. You waved and greeted her back, hoping that would be the end of the interaction, but to your disappointment her mother started crossing the street over to you. Emi gave a tight smile at this too, but followed.

The woman introduced herself as Emi’s mother, before turning her eyes onto Megumi and Tsumiki. “Such beautiful children.” She praised, giving Tsumiki a small wave she shied at.

“Thank you.” You smiled as best you could, Tsumiki glancing at the woman, then to Emi before rushing off around the stroller to hold Megumi’s chubby little hand. “She’s a bit shy.” You explained.

“I understand. Emi was just as shy.” Emi seemed a bit annoyed at this but gave a pleasant little chuckle. “What a shame it was, what happened to the little one's mother.” Your heart froze at the mention of your cousin.

“Uh--yeah.” You swallowed. “I hav--”

“And you must be her sister then? You look so much like her--well…your complexion is a bit different…nose too.” She continued, giving you no time to speak or even think of an excuse to leave.

“She’s my--was my cousin.” The correction only made that hurt swell in your chest like some fucked up ballon. She gave a slow nod as if that cleared up her nitpicking of your features.

“So kind of you then, to come here for the little one.” Her eyes found yours again. Kindness looked oh so fake in them. “She got so sick so quick, your cousin. I tried my best to help, oh but that brute wouldn’t let anyone see her towards the end. Kept her locked in that house. No visitors. No doctors.” She gave a pathetically fake saddened shake of her head.

You didn’t even know how to begin to process what she was saying to you. Why she would be saying this to you.

How much of it was real? How much of the truth was twisted? How much was really real?

“That man is bad news, dear. No sense of respect. Your cousin was so kind. Always said hello and spoke with me. Not a good match, if I may say so. She had so much potential.” Emi gave a warning to her mother but already you felt the tips of your fingers grown ice cold. Felt your stomach fall and jolt like you might throw up.

Because suddenly you were back in that kitchen in your former home, surrounded by your mother and aunts and grandmothers and other family that had no right to talk to you about your beloved cousin.

“She was a slut. It’s no surprise she ran off with him. Throwing her life away like that, what a shame.”

Speak no evil.

Don’t challenge their truths. Don’t defend her. Don’t speak and you would save yourself the verbal lashing.

Tsumiki must have come to your aid because she was tugging at your hand as if to pull you away but--you wanted to run away. You wanted to defend your cousin but--but you couldn’t speak. Couldn’t unclench your jaw.

“If you need help, dear, just--”

“Help with what?” A smoothly deep voice gruffed in your ear.

Toji. That was Toji’s unbothered voice.

He was back and yet you couldn’t even turn to look at his face.

Speak no evil.

“Oh…Toji. I was just telling her how I noticed you had left her all on her lonesome. Was just offering up my help with those sweet babies if she needed it.” Emi’s mother said in an almost-hidden sneer towards Toji.

“Slut. Whore.”

“He’s in a gang. She must have joined too.”

“Monster. Beast of a man.”

Don’t speak a word. Keep quiet. Maybe they’ll stop.

“Nah. You’re kids been helpin’ out.” Toji said. Tsumiki yanked at you arm again, trying to get you to move but--cruel, burning eyes bore holes into your skull and you couldn't stop them.

“Yes…I’m just surprised you're back, is all. Did any of the animals you bet on win this time?” Toji gave a huff in amusement.

“Haven't been in a minute. I’ll be sure to have your husband tell ya…hell maybe that old bastard and I’ll go in on a bet together.” Emi’s mother’s thin lips pressed even thinner.

“Horrible.” Was all she said before storming off. Emi gave you a quick apology before rushing off too.

“Told ya she was a nagging bitch.” Toji gruffed. You saw him come into view then as he started for the townhome just down the street and yet--

You were still stuck.

Still stuck there, in that kitchen.

Stuck feeling utterly powerless.

Tsumiki called for you, but when you didn’t respond, she knew something was wrong. She remembered when you weren’t feeling good like this before. Remembered she had to go find help because nothing Tsumiki had done had done anything.

Tsumiki gave a small whimper as her eyes looked toward Megumi’s dad, hands in pockets and walking off.

He was not nice. He said mean things to you and had tried to hurt you…but he was the only one Tsumiki knew and the new babysitter was too far away.

So, just how she had to be brave when it came to comforting Megumi, she had to be brave and help her mom now.

She let go of your hand and rushed off toward Megumi’s dad. She grabbed at his arm and pulled as hard as she could to get him to stop.

When he looked down at Tsumiki, she felt goosebumps prick over her arms.

He looked scary. Like some monster. Like a bad guy…but you needed him.

“Shit kid--what the hell is up with you?” He asked, pulling his hand from his pocket to yank Tsumiki off of him. But Tsumiki was determined. She jumped as high as she could and grabbed for his hand.

“Mama she--” His eyes narrowed in confusion, but he didn’t pull away from her again. “Mama’s not feeling good.” He looked away from Tsumiki to look at you. To find you hadn’t moved a muscle. Saw you looked ashen and too tense.

Megumi’s dad pulled from her hold again but he walked back towards you, instantly making Tsumiki feel okay. She was quick to follow after.

Toji said your name.

You hadn’t even realized he knew what your name was, but here he was using it.

“First your damn kid and now you, huh? Somethin’ happen while I was gone?” Toji asked, coming to a stop before you. He watched you as you fought to say something back, only a choked noise bubbling in your throat. “That old hag really got under your skin. Shit.” He sighed, giving his head a scratch as he assessed the situation. “I’ll push this, you just walk.” He moved around you as he spoke.

Rough hands peeled your own hands from the stroller handle. You watched through tunneled vision as one hand grabbed to push the stroller and the other grabbed for your upper arm, pulling you along.

“So you’re not gonna welcome me back?” Toji asked as Tsumiki jogged a bit ahead, brown eyes watching you in sharp worry and fear.

“Y-you--” You had to all but wrestle with your tongue and lips and teeth to answer. “Really a-are a dog.” Toji gave a sharp laugh at your words.

“Shit. You’re frozen as hell and you’re still up my ass.” You felt your body slowly release its hold on you. Slowly feel your vision widen and shallow breath even out.

“If I don’t, who will?” You said in a rush of breath.

“I'd finally get some peace and quiet if you didn’t.” You became painfully aware of his hand on your arm. Of the warmth it radiated through your skin--of the calluses and scars that roughened it.

You didn’t push him away, as you might normally do. Not when you were still coming down from the horrors your mind conjured up and resurrected. When, despite your better sense, him being back around you had your body easing.

Not when his guiding hand felt too good. Made you all but forget about the flash freeze that had taken hold of you.

You all came to the townhome and he let go of you then, but you were finally feeling okay again so you didn’t mind. You went about grabbing Megumi from his stroller and tried to manhandle the strolling down, but Toji cut in when you nearly toppled over it. He made quick work of folding it down and even went as far as to carry it inside.

The change was--startling. The help without a fight.

You…enjoyed it. Enjoyed it even when you knew it wasn’t something to get used to.

Tsumiki grabbed your hand and you two went into the house together.

“You get rid of my things?” Was what Toji greeted you with as you closed the door behind you. He stood in the small entrance way, looking over the picked-up living room.

“No, but it was an eyesore. It’s all in there. Everything’s clean.” Green eyes found yours, distrust high in them.

“What’s the catch?” Toji asked as you moved past him.

“What, I couldn’t just do it out of the goodness of my heart?” You made your way into the living room to grab Megumi's play mat. You laid it out and placed him stomach down. Megumi gave a huff. You knew he wasn’t the type to particularly like tummy time, but he needed it.

Toji gave a huffed laugh, “Hell no. You want something.” You settled yourself down on the ground before Megumi, legs criss-crossing before you reached for his downstairs toys you kept in a basket under the coffee table.

“I have no problem playing house if you keep working.” You shrugged, picking a collection of connected multi-colored rings from the basket to dangle Megumi’s way. He huffed again, cubby hand reaching for the rings but just missing.

“Playin’ house.” Toji repeated. You heard him begin walking around, come to a stop, and then the airy swoosh of the fridge door opening. Glass rattled and you knew he was grabbing for one of the beers you had bought for him while he had been away. “That what we’re doin’ here?”

“I guess it is.” You said. Megumi reached for the colored rings again and captured one between his fingers, non-existent brows furrowing in concentration as he tugged at them.

“Juice?” You heard Tsumiki ask timidly. You looked around to find her standing just before the line where carpeted floor turned into the tile of the kitchen. She wasn’t looking your way, but Toji’s.

It--surprised you. Had you holding your breath to see what would happen. Tsumiki had been so scared of him this whole time…so quick to rush and hide away from him so…what had changed?

Toji gave her an annoyed look, brows furrowed and one raised. “You askin’ me for juice?” He gruffed, fridge door still open.

“Please?” You saw her put on her biggest puppy dog eyes. A look that almost always broke down your defenses and had you giving into whatever she was asking for.

Toji stared right back as if the two were having their own battle of wills.

“God--where the hell is it then?” Tsumiki was quick to skip into the kitchen, disappearing from view behind the counter. Toji leaning down, reaching into the fridge for one of the juice boxes at its back.

“Here--what? You can’t open it yourself--geez. Shit--give it here.” Toji stood to his full height and you found the green juice box in his hand, thick fingers making quick work of getting the plastic straw out of its wrapper and stabbing it through the foil-covered hole at its top.

You really couldn’t get used to this. Shouldn’t even let his actions today make you feel--at ease. Shouldn’t let them trick your mind into seeing what your cousin saw in him but…he was making it very hard today.

He seemed…better. Like going back to work had helped lighten him a bit. Like getting out of the house, doing something other than drowning his sorrows away, had been greatly needed.

Your daughter came bounding over, juice box in hand and a pleased little look on her face. She patted your shoulder in passing before crouching next to Megumi, whose head wobbled a bit as he turned to look at her drinking her juice.

“When’d you get wine?” Toji asked, still having not left the kitchen. Green eyes found yours again and you felt your stomach give a flopping jolt.

“While you were gone.”

“Yours?”

“Yes, so don't even think about drinking it.” Toji held his free hand up in surrender.

“Wasn’t plannin’ on it.” His eyes scanned over your features slowly. Too slowly. So slowly you began to feel too hot. “Want a glass?”

Drink with him?

That felt…too comfortable. Like having a drink with him was the equivalent to giving in to--to whatever the hell was going on.

“No.” Toji raised a brow.

“Thought we’re playin’ house. The mommy and daddy drink together.” Humor laced his every word.

“Well the mommy still has to make dinner.” That wolfish grin pulled over his lips as you spoke. Like he really enjoyed you playing along.

Not that you could disagree. You’d come to miss the fighting--the teasing and back and forth as psychotic as you felt feeling like that.

You were letting him win you over and you didn’t know how to stop.

“And wash the babies, put them to bed, and get ready for my first day of work tomorrow.” You finished, turning away from Toji then, finding you couldn’t look at him for any longer then you had.

“Party pooper.” You gave a small shake of your head as the fridge door shut. You heard the pop of he opened his beer and then his footsteps coming into the living room.

Something fell into your lap, making you jump slightly and Tsumiki squeeze her juice box a little too tight, liquid falling to the floor.

It was a white envelope. Thick. Like a brick.

“What is this?” You questioned, grabbing up the heavy envelope. You eyed Toji up as he moved around the babies before flopping down on the couch with a great grunt.

“Take a look.” You hesitated, mind racing a mile a minute as you thought over endless possibilities as to what it was.

Green filled your vision.

Green upon green upon green.

Money. And lots of it.

“You said my role as daddy was to pay the rent. That should cover about three months.” Your eyes found his wolfish ones as he took a long swig of his beer. Eyes that tracked the bob of his Adam’s apple as he drank deeply--as some spilled over his lips and down his sharp jaw.

The sight made you all fidgety.

“Are you in a gang?” You asked bluntly. Toji gave a barking laugh, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

“Gang? That’s the best you could come up with?” You narrowed your eyes at him.

“This money, it’s--drugs then?” Toji shook his head as he reached for the remote on the coffee table.

“Nope.” He clicked the tv on. “I thought you didn’t care where I worked as long as the bills were paid.”

Emerald green eyes found yours again. Dark, dangerous eyes that had your heart freezing. Had a shiver run sharply down your spine and spread through your thighs.

“I don’t.”

“Then take the money,” He got comfy on the couch, finger lazily clicking through the channels. “And don’t ask questions.”

Speak no evil.

Don’t question it. Save yourself the trouble. The hurt.

Speak no evil…

“Put on channel 200. I want to watch my show.” You found yourself saying. Toji gruffed at this request, but still did as you asked.

“It better not be some love-sick shit.”

<- Previous | Next ->

60 notes · View notes

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Text

Love and Hunger pt. 4

Summary: The raid on Anteiku is in full swing and you foolishly run into the mix.

Content: Female reader x Hide Nagachika, ghoul reader, shy reader, takes place during seasons 1-2 (Aogiri Tree, Kaneki spoilers, Anteiku Raid Arc)

Word Count: 1.9K

Song: "Doing It" by Charli xcx

↞ to Perfect Masterlist | Tokyo Ghoul Masterlist | Request Rules | Blog Navigation ↠

Snow blinded you as you ran. Ran so long and so hard every pull of the cold air bit at your lungs.

Stupid. It’d been stupid to run after Touka the way you had. You’d lost her a while back and for it earned a squad of Doves chasing after you. Had earned the sharp edge of a quinque to the side that was all but refusing to heal.

Slow. You had always been a slow healer. It’s why you were more of a vulture when it came to hunting--to fighting. You were not as fast, not as strong, not as powerful and you were going to die because of it.

You slipped in the snow, a pained yelp falling from your lips as the fall burned at your wound.

The too close shouting of the squad that had been following you sounded in the air as you struggled to get off your side. As you tried to pull yourself to your knees.

Dead. You were so dead and yet, as snow cut at your skin and numbed your body, you couldn’t find it within you to be angry.

Maybe you deserve this. No. No you knew you did because while you weren’t strong or fast or clever, you had still killed. Had still destroyed lives and hurt people.

You were still a monster and monsters were weeded out of this world.

Boots crunching in the snow had your body tensing. Had you been preparing for whatever end was to meet you.

A pair of gloved hands grabbed you and despite your weavery acceptance of death, you still screamed. Still wiggled and thrashed about. Still bared your teeth and flashed your red and black eyes at your attacker.

“It’s me! It’s okay, it’s me!” You whipped your head around, still as wild as a caged dog, to find the face of the too familiar voice. To find Hide there, holding you. Hide who was dressed up like your advantage CCG foot soldier.

Hide--Hide who was taking in your monstrous eyes and smiling as if it was just any other day.

“It’s me.” You felt shame wash through you at the fact he was seeing you this way, but your shame was quickly over power by the panic that took you hold by the throat.

“No, no, no. What are you doing here?” You begged, grabbing hold of what you could of his uniform.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He teased. A playful demeanor he shouldn’t be having at a time like this. “Keep quiet.” He whispered as the Doves swarmed closer. Hide picked you up, sending your wound screaming, and rushed off down a nearby alleyway.

He rushed through the door of a neighboring business, a restaurant by the looks of it, and crouched behind one of the prepping tables. He placed you gently to the ground, rich eyes full of so much concern for you as he looked over your wounds.

“How bad is it?” He asked, fingers gently lifting the ripped bit of your jacket so he could try to see it better. “You’ll heal right?” You were quick to snap away from him and curled in on yourself despite your wound screaming at you. You didn't want him to see you like this. Didn’t want him to see your eyes and other ghoulish features. “Is it bad?” He asked again more firmly, hand grabbing for your arm that you once more shoved away.

“I’ll be fine.” You two sat in silence for a long while, your wound being to heal ever so slowly.

“Let me see you. Please.” Hide asked. Hide begged. You held yourself tighter.

“You already know what I am so just--”

“Yes, but I want to see you.” Your eyes burned painfully. More painful than your wound ever could feel.

“What? So you can point and call me a freak?” Again, silence fell over you two. A silence that ate away at your heart.

“You really think I would do that?” He whispered. A whisper that sounded so--so sad. Like it hurt him that you might think that.

You didn’t. Of course you didn’t think he truly would.

“I’m horrifying. I--I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. How could I subject you to that?” Hide was once more quiet as if he was thinking long and hard about what you were saying. Quiet that was broken by the sound of him shuffling closer.

Gloved fingers brushed your cheek still exposed to him. Fingers that moved to graze over the black veins spreading from your eye. Such gentle touch you couldn’t help but lean into. To let them guide you to face him, heart beating so fast in your chest as he finally saw the darkness you’d been hiding.

Hide looked over your face for a long moment, his thumb never once stopping in its creasing of those black veins you had been taught to hate.

“You’re,” He smiled that bright sunny smile of his and looked at you with such warm love and adoration you almost forgot about that self hatred. “Perfect.” Tears spilled from your eyes he was quick to wipe away.

“You…you really don’t have to pretend.” You croaked, making that smile of his only wider as he thought back to the first time you two had ever met.

“I’m not. Promise. You’re perfect just the way you are.” You lunged at him, arms wrapping around his neck as the hollowness in your chest began to fill little by little. Hide was quick to hold you just as tight back. To bury his face in your neck and breathe a sigh of relief to hold you again.

“I love you. God, I love you so much.” You cried, running your fingers through his dirty blond hair.

“I love you too. I--I was scared I was never going to see you again.” You nodded into his neck, having felt all too much the same.

Shouts from outside the restaurant you two were hold up in had your body tensing.

The Doves. How on earth could you have forgotten about them?

“They’ll kill you if--” You started, pulling away to find those brown eyes again.

“Bite me.” You’re nose wrinkled at such a command.

“Bite--no.” You snapped, making Hide sigh like it was an inconvenience that you wouldn’t take a chunk out of his flesh.

“It’s gotta look like I fought you. So--scratch me then? Something nasty.” He pulled away a bit to turn his arm your way.

“Hide, I am not going to hurt--”

“You’re right. You’re not going to hurt me. It’s okay.” You just stared at him like he’d gone crazy. Stared at him as those shouts grew closer. Hide stressed your name.

“I--I--okay.” Hide smiled reassuringly, thumb giving your cheek one more rub before giving you full access to his body.

“Do your worst.” You huffed at his playfulness.

“This isn't a joke.” You spoke, raising your hand up, strengthening nails ready to tear into the love of your life’s flesh. “I-I’m sorry,” Tears burned at your eyes again as you brought your nails down as hard and fast as you could. “I’m sorry!” You cried again as you felt nails dig into flesh. “I’m sorry!” Again as Hide gave a pained little sound he tried to choke down. “I’m so sorry. I-I’m sorry.” You looked in horror at the four, jagged lines running around his upper arm. At the blood that now stained his gray suit.

“I-I’m sorry.” You weakly breathed, feeling his warm blood drip from your fingers. Blood that smells so--so nice. So fresh. Like spring rain. Like him.

You wanted to taste that blood. Damn you the urge was so strong you almost did.

Love and hunger. Hunger and love. Such a fine line between them, really, when you think about it.

You loved him so much you would die for him. You loved him so much you wanted him close. Loved him so much you wanted to sink your teeth into your flesh and savor the pleasurable taste of him.

“It’s okay. Hey--hey, it’s okay.” He winced, grabbing for your blood covered hand and giving it a tight squeeze. “I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t prepared, yeah?” You blinked at him. And blinked again to try and keep the tears from blurring your vision. To try and keep that gnawing hunger down.

“What--Hide, what are you doing here?” You stressed, holding his hand just as tight back.

“I’m here making sure those guys don’t kill you.” You shook your head at his words.

“No. No, because I wasn’t supposed to be here till I ran after Touka. I was never here. You didn’t come here for me.” You pulled on his hand, bringing him just a bit closer so he could see just how scared you were for him. “Why are you here?”

“I didn’t have a choice.” He shrugged. “Part of the job. A good “learning experience” is what they called it. I don’t think he meant this.” You couldn’t help the huff of amusement that filtered from your lips. The smallest laugh that had Hide smiling so softly at you.

“Can’t you--can’t you just leave? You’re injured now.” You cringed a bit at his wound he seemed almost unbothered by. “Can’t you sit the rest of this out.” Hide’s smile faltered a bit and you knew he wasn’t just running about this battlefield for no reason. “Sit it out.” You tried to demand him, but your voice just came out small. Scared.

“I can’t.”

“Why?” Hide gave your hand another squeeze as determination etched itself onto his features.

“Kaneki’s here.” Your fear turned to utter terror. Complete and utter terror because you had seen for yourself what Kaneki had become.

“Hide--Hide, listen to me. Whatever Aogiri Tree did to him hurt him. Bad. It hurt his soul. He’s--he eats other ghouls, Hide. He’s hungry. Hungrier than me. Hungrier than Touka or any one of us.” Such determined seriousness fell over Hide’s face. A seriousness that scared you even more. “He’s hurt and he’ll hurt you because he won’t be able to see past it.”

“He’s my friend.” Hide responded. Your heart twisted and jolted in your chest at the steadiness of his voice. Almost--almost like he had come here prepared to face death if he needed to. “I love him. And I’m going to try and help him. Just like how I’m going to try and help you now. Because I love you. I love you so much it's overwhelming.” Hide smiled. A smile that was so beautiful yet tore at your heart.

“Please. Please don’t leav--” The door you two had escaped through earlier banged open. The sound of boots rushing in filled your ears and before you had time to even blink, Hide was grabbing for a weapon at his side and giving a mighty battle cry.

He shoved you down, making a show of bringing that knife upward only to bring it down nowhere near your body.

“Play dead.” And you did. You felt Hide’s body stumble away from you in mock fatigue. He spoke shakily to the Dove’s who tried to calm him down. Who told him good job before they’d slowly--so so slowly--left the restaurant you laid in.

You laid there for hours.

Hours upon hours upon hours.

You knew they were gone. Knew you were safe to leave and try to escape, but you just couldn’t move because in your gut you knew something horrible was going to happen. Something so bad you knew would leave you just as you were now; playing dead and unable to move a muscle. Because all you could think about, all you could feel, was the dreadful realization that that had been the last time you were ever going to see him.

<- Previous | Next ->

4 notes · View notes

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Text

Firsts and Lasts pt. 3

Summary: Hide had been many firsts for you, but he is your most painful last.

Content: Female reader x Hide Nagachika, ghoul reader, shy reader, takes place during seasons 1-2 (Aogiri Tree, Build up to Anteiku Raid Arc)

Word Count: 1.3K

Song: "Caught in the Middle" by Charli xcx

↞ to Perfect Masterlist | Tokyo Ghoul Masterlist | Request Rules | Blog Navigation ↠

Hide and you were inseparable. You studied together, rode the train together, walked to university together, went to movies and radio shops and bookstores together. You two were fast friends. Even faster to gravitate into something more.

It started with small things. He would buy your coffee for you, insistent on buying you whatever book or trinket you had been going to buy yourself. Gifts he would go out and find himself because “he saw it and thought of you”.

Then it became…more. Hide would hold your hand while you two walked and shopped together. Would run his thumb over the top of your lip after a sip of coffee that he swears left liquid behind. Would keep you close whether you were standing or sitting.

Hide became many firsts for you. The first boy to hold your hand, to bring you flowers, the first to ask you to be his girlfriend, to kiss you so sweetly you wished you’d never need to come up for air.

And on a random, rainy afternoon, sitting in your apartment, all cuddled up together while watching some old American tv show, he had looked at you after a fit of laughter and became the first person to tell you that they loved you.

You had sat there, so over the moon happy you could hardly even think past it.

“I--sorry. That was kinda random.” Hide blushed, looking more nervous then he’d even looked when he’d asked to kiss you for the first time. You shook your head rapidly, grabbing for his cheeks and smiling with all the love you held in your heart for him.

“No. No, it’s--” You brushed your thumbs over his warmed skin, just taking in the guy who had found a way to love you of all people. Just taking in the man you loved just as much back. “It’s a perfect time. I love you too. So much.”

You lend forward, capturing his lips in a soft kiss you poured all the love you held in your heart for him into. A kiss he moved his own love soft lips with.

Kisses turned needy. Wanting for the love swimming around in both of your hearts to grow and grow and grow.

Hands tugged at clothes and touched skin you both had only dreamed about touching on the other. You both lay bared to each other, in both body and heart. Skin moved against skin until finally you became one and Hide became yet another one of your firsts.

Warm pleasure wound its way through your body as you two moved against each other. Breath mingled with breath, joy filled sounds escaping lips, and an endless stream of I love yous drowned out the sound of the tv still playing the goofy show you’d put on.

That pleasure built and built, sending you toes curling and every nerve ending tingling. Built until white hot ecstasy was rushing around you both. In the afterglow of it all, all you could do was look at him with tears in your eyes. Tears Hide looked right back at you with.

You knew you would never love anyone as much as you loved him.

You knew you would fight tooth and nail to stay with him, if he would have you for that long.

You stayed with him as Dove’s began to swarm the 20th ward. Stayed with him when Aogiri Tree did the same. Stayed with him as Kaneki was kidnapped and stayed with him when Kaneki willingly left with them. You stayed even when he got a job at the CCG because you loved him so much it hurt.

And when Kaneki reappeared and the Doves seemed to be closing in on Anteiku and the ones that had saved you from your former life…you still wanted to stay. You still needed Hide. You still loved him.

“I told you it wasn’t a good idea.” Nishiki spoke, having found you sitting on the roof of Anteiku as everyone prepared for the hellstorm heading their way. You only held your legs tighter, your breath puffing around you in a cloud of white thanks to the biting cold air. “While all this goes to shit I’m gonna go see her one last time.”

“I don’t think I can do that.” Nishiki was quiet for a long while beside you. A while that allowed your heart to hurt and hurt and hurt. That let choking tears take you over. “I--I love him.”

“It’s because we love them that we have to let them go.” Your lip quivered at his words. Your body shook. “The Doves find out they’ve been with us, they’ll be imprisoned. Or worse, killed.” You knew it was true. Knew every word he spoke was so painfully true…but you didn’t want to believe it. “Yours works for them. Which option do you think they’ll choose for him when they find out?”

Not if. When.

Nishiki left you sitting there, no more words needing to be said.

You’d dried your tears and headed to Hide’s apartment. You knew he would have just gotten back from class to change and eat something before he had to head to work.

You knew his door wasn’t locked. Knew you could just walk in without being announced but you found yourself knocking anyway.

It didn’t take long for Hide to come to the door, a kind hello on his lips till those deeply rich eyes of his fell on you.

“Hey, why’d you--” He paused. Paused and looked at you for a long, long moment. “Something’s wrong.” Not a question. A fact. He could tell just after a few seconds that something wasn’t normal. God and you loved it. You loved that he was able to pick up on such small things and it was tearing you apart.

“I--I can’t be with you anymore.” Tears burned at your eyes and throat. Tears you were fighting tooth and nail not to let over take you.

You expected him to ask questions. To even get angry at you but--but all he did was look at you in that understanding he had looked at you with back when he’d found you in the library. A sad understanding.

And you once again wondered if he knew? If he had somehow seen you eating or seen any one of you doing the same.

“Oh…um…” You watched him give a sharp swallow. “Okay.” Hot tears burned down your cheeks then as you got angry. Got pissed at the Doves and at Nishiki and at your piss poor excuse of a life.

“Okay? That’s it? Okay?” Hide just stood there, looking sadder than you’d seen him in a long, long time. “You’re--you’re not going to ask me why?”

“Does there need to be a reason?”

“Yes!” You shouted, fisting balling at your sides. Balling so tight you thought you might draw blood. “Because no one in their right mind would ever--” You choked on the tightening of your throat then. “B-because--people wouldn’t break up with you if they even got one day with you. Because you’re--your perfect. You’re so perfect and I--I--I’m a fucking mess. I’m a goddamn--”

Arms so warm and so safe wrapped around you then. Arms that held you tight against his chest as you felt like your heart was shattering into a million pieces.

“No. You’re not.” He whispered to you. “You’re perfect.” And all you could do was stand there, tears and snot running down your face as he held you so lovingly.

“I--I’m leaving.” Hide nodded against the side of your head.

“I know.” A sob shook through your chest then. A sob Hide pressed closer at.

“Do you know?” You asked in lieu of not just you’re leaving, but to the why. To if he really knew about you? If his understanding ran deeper then just being empathetic.

Hide nodded once more. A nod that felt like your whole world was slipping away from you.

“I do. I’ve known. It didn’t matter.” He murmured, voice breaking against the emotions bubbling within. “I fell for you so quickly. I--I love you.”

Why did he love you?

How could he love you?

You were a monster. A murderer. You ate humans. He was human.

“I…I can’t stay.” You mourned, weak fingers finally coming around to hold him tightly.

“I know.”

<- Previous | Next ->

4 notes · View notes

gingernut1314 · 2 months ago

Text

Dusty Books and Sunny Laughter pt. 2

Summary: You find yourself in the library and a familiar face comes to greet you.

Content: Female reader x Hide Nagachika, ghoul reader, shy reader, takes place during season 1

Word Count: 1.4K

Song: "Hanging Around" by Charli xcx

↞ to Perfect Masterlist | Tokyo Ghoul Masterlist | Request Rules | Blog Navigation ↠

The smell of old books filled your nose as you journeyed through the campus library. Out of all the places on campus you loved best, the library came second to that of the art studio. Art which had brought you here to find history books full of old and new masterpieces you were meant to study for an upcoming project.

As you moved through row after row of well loved books, you bobbed your head to the music flowing through your earbuds. Let the music drown out the world and keep you in your own personal one. Music that had your mind wandering here and there as your fingertips dragged along dusty and cracked spines.

You came to the section you were after, eyes slowly scanning over each book until they landed on the text you needed. One that was all the way on the top shelf and one you knew was definitely out of your reach. You tried anyway, standing to your tippy toes, lips and brows pinched together in hyper focus as you reached. Fingertips grazed the book you needed and nails working to try to get hold of any groove they could to pull it down.

A hand came into view, grabbing for the book you had been trying and failing to get yourself. A hand that grazed past your own as it did, making your skin spark at the sudden touch.

Sparks that turned burning when you turned to find Hide standing there, a bright smile on his face as he looked at you. Looked at you with eyes you hadn’t been able to get out of your head no matter what you did.

His lips moved as he spoke, the book you needed extended out towards you. You blinked--confused for a moment as to why you couldn’t hear him when the music you had been listening to switched to the next song.

You were quick to yank one bud from your ear, feeling yourself grow slightly embarrassed.

“Uh--I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.” Hide didn’t seem to mind because he just kept on smiling in a way that made your brain begin to freeze just as it had back at Anteiku.

“I just said I had to read this for one of the world history classes I took last semester.” He repeated, turning the book a little so you would remember to take it from him. You did and your heart nearly stopped at the feel of his fingertips brushing against yours again. You pulled your hands, book included, quickly away, pressing it tight to your chest.

If Hide had thought anything strange of the reaction, he didn’t give you any indication of it.

“Oh…that’s cool. I have to choose one of the art styles and try to replicate it.” His brown eyes lit up in excitement.

“Wow. No way! That’s awesome.” He beamed at you, making your brain feel all mushy again. “There was one with all these colors in there from the UK that was super cool.” You felt your own heart give a jittery jump at his words.

“Pop art?”

“Yeah! That’s it. Real popular in America too. In the, uh--the 60s I think.” You found yourself just--staring at him. At his knowledge on a subject you had dedicated your whole life to.

Could he be any cuter?

“You really know your stuff, huh?” You couldn’t help the giddiness that seeped its way from your chest into your voice.

“I’m majoring in English so anything related to it is in my domain to know.” He sounded just as giddy as you…though maybe it was just your mush filled skull playing tricks on you…but that smile, those eyes--no…no you didn’t think so. Not this time at least.

“That’s really cool. You listen to American music then?” Hide gave a laugh like that was the silliest question you could have asked.

“Of course! Do you?” You nodded, holding your textbook just a bit tighter. Those rich brown eyes sparkled like someone who’d just been told they won a million bucks. “Is that what you’re listening to now?” He questioned, gesturing towards the earbud still in your ear.

“Yeah…do you…” Your heart felt like it was gonna explode right out your chest, your nerves firing so fast you could hardly keep the slight shake from your fingers.

No one really gave you the time of day. No one--no boy had ever seemed so genuinely happy to interact with you. Happy to talk about art and music with you before.

It made you so nervous--but Hide’s kind eyes had a way of easing your anxious racing heart.

“Do you want to listen? See if you can guess who it is?” There was that sparkle again. That almost surprised me? as he nodded at your suggestion.

“Yeah!” He pulled closer to you. So close his shoulder brushed against yours and you could smell his cologne. Fresh. Clean. Like a spring rain. It made your brain buzz and your mouth water. You almost had half the mind to lean in and sniff that smell deep into your nostrils had you been a more outgoing individual.

You grabbed for the earbud you had let hang down your chest and handed it to him. Again his fingers grazed over yours, making the skin there burst into flame. Shyly you watched as he put the bud in his ear, focusing for a second as the pop music played.

“Ha! No way--this is Charli xcx’s new album. Sucker.” He gleefully spoke, brown eyes finding yours all over again. Eyes so close you didn’t have to look hard to see just how deeply rich they really were. How their color reminded you of coffee. But not just any coffee. Expertly brewed coffee. Like the cups of otherworldly good coffee Yoshimura makes.

“Yeah…have you listened to the whole album?” Hide nodded.

“A few times over, if I’m being honest.” You lips tugged upward as you found yourself getting lost in his rich eyes.

“Me too.” Hide gave you a smile too. A soft one. A smile that looked like he was at ease standing there in the dusty library, standing shoulder to shoulder with you.

“Hey…do you have class right now?” You shook your head in answer. “Do you maybe want to grab a bite to eat?”

Oil and water.

You body went cold at the thought. At the fact that you couldn’t eat what he ate. At the fact that Hide, a human, was what you would grab a bite of.

Oil and water.

You didn’t want Nishiki to be right. The hypocrite was dating a human himself for goodness sake! Had almost killed himself to save her from danger, so why couldn’t you? Why couldn’t you be--be happy? With Hide?

“I--just ate.” You expected disappointment to flash through his eyes or even nothing. But what you didn’t expect was understanding--familiarity. It confused the hell out of you. Made you even more panicked.

Kaneki had made a big point of making sure his friend never knew of his new ghoul status. Of letting him know that the people he was surrounding himself with were ghouls too.

You doubted that had changed…it was probably just your mind playing tricks on you for real this time.

“Oh…okay.”

“Uh--but maybe we could get a drink? I know it’s kinda late in the day for coffee, but I’m a bit addicted to the stuff.” You tried to cover your panic with a laugh.

“I wouldn’t mind. Anteiku?” Hide questioned.

“No.” Confusion fluttered over his features. “I mean--we can go there. It’s just Nishiki is working tonight and I’m on the verge of strangling the life out of him.” As you spoke, a bit of a gruff filled your voice at the mere thought of the other ghoul.

Hide laughed. A deep belly laugh that you couldn’t help but stare at.

“Good. I thought I was the only one.” Your own laugh bubbled from your throat.

“Definitely not. He’s like a walking bad day. Too cocky and too bitter.” Hide only laughed harder and you found yourself doing the same. Laughter that became so radically loud a passing student shot you two a dagger glare.

And the best part was it hadn’t even been that funny. Just the fact that your laughter was bouncing off of his was enough to keep it going.

“There's a cute little shop just a block from here, if you would be okay going there?” You asked once your laughter had calmed down a bit. Hide’s laughter only made that smile bigger. Made his eyes so bright and full of warmth as he looked at you and only you.

“That would be,” His voice grew softer then--quieter like he only wanted you to hear. “Perfect.”

<- Previous | Next ->

#hide x you #hide x female reader #hide x reader #hide #hide fic #hideyoshi nagachika x you #hideyoshi nagachika x reader #hideyoshi nagachika #hideyoshi nagachika fic #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul fic #tokyo ghoul x you #tokyo ghoul x reader #hide tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul hide #dividers by thecutestgrotto #dividers by strangergraphics #my fics

9 notes · View notes